Chapter Text
It had been a week since the last Extermination. Charlie knew deep down that this plan just had to work! There was no way it wouldn't.
Well… There was no real guarantee.
BUT.
There was no guarantee it wouldn't!
Worth a shot, right?
Right…
She had to make her mom proud. Maybe her dad would even come around.
“Where are you, Mom…”
“Babe?” Charlie jumped at the sound of her girlfriend making herself known.
“Vaggie! Shit. You scared me.” Charlie said with a slight chuckle to reassure there was no resentment for her doing so, since it wasn't really a big deal.
“You okay?” The concern in her voice was very prominent despite not trying to sound overly so.
“Yeah. I- I just worked up a little after the
Exterminations happen.”
“There's um.. Something Alastor wants to show you downstairs.”
—
“Well.. I ammmm- Veryyy.. Grateful! For.. this, Alastor. But um. It makes the Hotel look a bit…”
“Bad. The word you're looking for is bad.”
A silence over fell the lobby for a few moments, with the very faint sound of Angel’s phone, clearly tuning out basically everything that was currently happening,
before being interrupted by Charlie’s cellphone ringing. A picture of a duck resembling the King of Hell himself, as well as the caller name ‘Dad’ appeared on the screen. He only really called whenever he needed a favor or something along the lines of that, but it was still nice that he cared enough to even bother to do that.
“Let me just take this.” Charlie said, rising from the couch and walking to a slightly more private area.
“Y’know~ Iffinya want people to really wanna come to this shithole of a hotel, maybe try the use the talented, amazing, actor you have right here.” Angel said while pointing to himself.
“Angel. You're a pornstar. We are not filming a porn as a commercial. You may not see a problem with that, but that isn't going to help with Charlie’s vision. She wants people who want to change to come here, not a bunch of horny demons who just want to fuck you.”
“Suit’chaself.” And with a shrug he went straight back to disassociating. Though I would say it's definitely a lot less than straight (I know, I know. I'm a comedian. Ladies, ladies! Hold the applause.((I wrote this forever ago #whywasilikethis))).
“Vaggieholyshit!”
Vaggie couldn't tell if that was good or bad,
but it certainly made her jump.
“What is it? Is everything okay?” Concern seeping out from every side.
Charlie just motioned for her to come to her while making it evident that it definitely wasn't bad news with the sheer amount of excitement she was displaying.
“My dad-
Wants meee.. to go to a meeting in his place!”
A small squeal following her slightly rushed out sentence.
“With-With Heaven! This… this,” She paused briefly to accentuate the word ‘this’ with a hand gesture “Is the perfect opportunity. For me.. topitchmyideatotheangels.”
“Charlie, the Angels… They aren't exactly easy to persuade. N-Not that I would know that first hand. I just meant that I.. heard that somewhere.” Vaggie didn't usually slip up like this. Nor did she really hesitate or lose her way of speaking. Yet she hoped Charlie wouldn't really notice over her excitement for this meeting.
“I can do this, Vaggie! I just know it. I'll get Heaven behind my plan!” Vaggie really admired her confidence most times, but contrary to her former statement, she did know what the Angels were like first hand, and there was no way even Charlie could convince them.
“Charlie. Hold on-”
“Come on, Vaggie! I know this can work out. This'll be the happiest day Hell has ever seen!”
Charlie said whilst walking to the main entrance. The thoughts of Heaven helping out with her dream overriding her.
Before Vaggie could stop her from going anymore further she had already made her way out the door.
“Holy shit.” A certain pornstar cut in. “Is she dancin’”
“Charlie…” Vaggie groaned out defeatedly.
She was almost too innocent to be the literal princess of Hell. Sometimes it's better to learn the hard way, she guessed.
Especially someone like Charlie. As much as she loves her, she can't deny she doesn't really like to listen when it comes to the bad qualities of others.
She liked that she always looked on the bright side, but in a place like this there weren't really any bright sides.
—---
As Charlie arrived at the Embassy she was met with a dark, empty, waiting room. Not exactly as she'd imagined, but then again, this was Hell so she wasn't sure why she'd expect anything more.
“Hello?” She called out but to no avail.
“Well this is creepy…”
She walked up to what she assumed was the front desk. Mostly empty, but the most notable thing was the golden service bell that was placed upon it.
She rang it before getting met with what she could only guess was a sign in sheet, as well as a golden quill.
“Also creepy…” She noted while signing it. Followed by the opening of a door, which led to a hallway and a few doors that lead to small rooms that didn't seem to be any of the right ones. At the end of the relatively short hallway there was a stairwell.
Of course. Heaven is all about stairs, huh? Didn't it seem more like a punishment to have to walk up an extremely long staircase to get there. I mean that was just something the humans made up.
She walked up to the second floor. Immediately upon doing so she heard some quite loud talking coming from a very obviously illuminated room. Thank goodness.
She was in the right place. She hoped at least.
“Um, excuse me?” The room fell dead silent. In the room were two demon-esque looking Angels whose conversation she seemed to just interrupt.
“My uh.. dad sent me here in his place. To have a meeting with you.”
“Yeah I know.” The larger one looked almost as if he didn't belong amongst the Angels. That mask looked almost like it was real. She has seen a few Exercists in her life. But he looked different. ‘Shit.’ She had seen him before. He was the leader of the Exorcist Army
This Was..
A perfect opportunity! Imagine how good it would look if she got the leader of the Angel Army to agree with her plan!
“Hi. I'm Charlie. It's nice to meet you.”
“You too.” The Angel held out his hand for a handshake.
While she was slightly skeptical, she reached over to shake his hand.
“SIKE! HAHA! TOO SLOW, BITCH. You actually thought I would consider even just touching a lowlife like you!? You're even dumber than I thought.”
Charlie was stunned to say the least. She assumed the leader of the Angel Army would be at least a little mean, but he seemed outright unbearable.
No.
She couldn't say that! She couldn't just base him off of this one overly rude interaction. She can still work with this, right? Yeah… of course she can. She just had to get her point across, and maybe he'll soften up once he realizes she's trying to help sinners to get to Heaven.
“Okayyy then… It's still nice to meet you. I uh, know it's probably really hard to command such a… great Army. And it would probably be nice toooo.. get a little break??”
Shit. How was she even supposed to bring up this topic?
“Tooootally. Like, I get their kinda my responsibility-” He shoved a rib into his mouth.
“But like-” A pause to chew. “I deserve at least a small break, like-” Another pause to swallow. “Every now and then, y’know?
“Y-Yeah, of… course. Which is why I have a solution to our biggest problem!”
“Oh. Herpes. That's a bitch…”
“NooooOur other biggest problem!.”
“Math. Uh- Ugly people. Global warming- wait no that's Earth’s problem.. Herpes. I said that already, didn't I? Seriously, though. That shit sucks so much ass.”
‘Blah Blah Blah.’
Ugh! Why couldn't he just listen!?
No. Don't lose your composure, Charlie. Not everyone has to listen. If you want them to listen to you, you should first listen to them- and shit well she wasn't exactly doing that right now.
“So then, she was like ‘hey! You should sleep with me!’ and I was like ‘no, bitch. I have standards.’ and then she got all pissed, but like we both knew she just wanted to fuck me to say she fucked the fuckin’ Adam. And I'm not just gonna give myself to just anyone.” He looked over to his company earning a nod in confirmation. “I mean don't get me wrong. She was pretty hot. But as a guy who's been kinda divorced twice.”
Charlie really did not feel like listening to anymore of his rant.
“Ugh! I'm talking about the overpopulation in Hell!”
“Oh! We've got that handled. How many sinners you get this year, Lute?”
“Got a good two-seventy-five this year, sir.”
“Two-seventy-five!? Woah! Badass! Pound it.”
Charlie didn't exactly look pleased as the two gave a fist bump.
“Th-Those are my people- Human souls. Just like the ones you have in Heaven!”
Adam made an extremely exaggerated inhale through his teeth.
“About that… Lute. Why don't you explain to little miss princess why I don't give a fuck.”
“They are not the same. Sinners had their chance, and they earned damnation. They're your people. Not ours. You're letting them have power go to their twisted little heads, and you're making our problem.”
“Wwweehhllp. We're almost out’a time.”
“Shit. Right. Okay. Now I know once a year you fly down to Hell to kill sinners and all that- BUT. But.. I have a solution! A-A hotel! To.. To rehabilitate sinners so they can earn their way into Heaven!”
Neither of them seemed to really care about a single thing she just said.
“As you said, uh, Lute, was it? ‘Sinners had their chance and they earned damnation.’ Well now they'll be able to unearn damnation!”
“Hold on right there. Let's just save our sweet, sweet, precious time.”
Charlie looked a bit surprised. Was he going to agree? Or maybe just flat out disagree.
“You think they can repent and everything is going to be fine? Well, newsflash! That's not how things work, kid.”
Ah. Disagree.
“Hell's forever, princess. And there is nothing someone like you can do about it.”
“I but- Maybe if you would just listen you'd change your mind-”
“Oh, I've already made up my mind. So save your breath. In fact, I've made the decision to move up the Extermination.”
“WHAT!?”
“And I know it's a lot to take in, but go ahead and break the news to those little cunts, that I'll be paying them a little visit in six months.”
—-
This was bad.
Really bad.
She'd messed it up for everyone else,
like she always did. “Charlie!” A sudden voice called out, startling her out of her gloomy headspace. Vaggie stood just outside the front door. “Sooo.. How'd it go?” Her girlfriend asked somewhat expectantly. “I uhhh..”
“Why don't we head inside first. You're probably tired from all the dancing and walking.” Before she could respond she was being led to the couch where she plopped down with a loud guttural sigh, slotting her head into her hands roughly.
“That bad huh?” She felt a weight form onto the seat next to her. A comforting hand coming to her shoulder. “He would even listen to me! He just kept rambling on and on and on and- UUUGgghh..”
“Sounds about right…” Vaggie barely whispered to herself. “I think I might just know how to cheer you up.” Charlie looked up to see a smiling face which naturally made her smile too.
Vaggie reached for the remote and switched it away from whatever crappy romance was on before to 666. Charlie's eyes immediately brightened up seeing her friends on the screen making a proper advertisement. A few others walked over to watch it air before being interrupted by the news, which just had to share the same channel.
The annoyance was gone as quick as it came as soon as they heard that the Exorcists were coming back sooner than expected.