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When did it happen?
She approached the door to the clinic, her short auburn hair and school clothing drenched in the blood of a man too large for her small body. They were close in age, and yet, the desperate and broken look in her eyes told of events no child should have to bear.
She carried him on her back, it seemed. Not caring about the weight, nor the distance she must have walked. That was the first time he saw her unwavering spirit.
It had to have been then.
Or was it when he first got his shinigami powers? Their shared moment on the stairs, when he felt uncertainty to go after the person who gave him the ability to protect everyone he cared about. She was there, encouraging him and being his biggest support at the time, even if she didn't fully understand the world he was involved in. Yet despite the uncertainty and doubt, her smile remained unchanged. Radiant, like the sun.
She was there. She had always been there.
Maybe it was when she was willing to travel with him to another realm to rescue their friend. Her determination to help him was so profound that he wouldn't have dared to make her stay behind, even if he didn't want her to get hurt. He knew better than to make that choice for her. "I already made up my mind," he remembers her saying with beaming confidence.
Her heart was something he knew he admired. Even if it was the enemy, it didn't matter. She would work herself until she was tired, for hours, just to make sure everyone was healed in the end. Sometimes he did wish she wouldn't push herself so hard, but who was he to deny her the desire to help others? Come regular shinigami, or the giant who guarded the gate, no one could deny her pure spirit.
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, Ichigo," he remembered as her tears fell with gratitude. "I'm so glad you're alright."
Why the tears, Orihime? Why apologize? It was his job to protect people. It was his duty. It's in his name, for crying out loud.
Her tears meant that she truly cared that much for him and his well-being. And maybe her showing her tears, crying for him, is when it really happened.
No. Actually, that might be wrong again.
It had to have been that day. She lay so broken in the grass, covered in her own blood, all because he was too weak to protect her and Chad. Despite being covered in bandages as a result of his mistakes, her smile was still as bright as ever. He truly felt he didn't deserve it. That smile should be reserved for someone who wouldn't be reckless like he was.
He hated everything about that day. The arrancars, himself, seeing her in such a state. Why wasn't he strong enough? Rukia may have given him his resolve back, but the feeling still lingers.
That day, he meant every single word of that promise—that vow—to protect her.
That promise wasn't meant to be broken.
Why did it have to break?
Why, on that god-awful morning, did he have to find out that she was taken? And being called a traitor? No. He refused to accept it.
Orihime was his friend, someone he really cared about. He knew her. She would never turn her back on everyone. After everything she's done, they had the nerve to think of her that way?
Fuck that. If no one was going to help him, he would get her back on his own.
But fortunately, he wouldn't have to. Damn his stupidity, forgetting that other people cared about her just as much as he did. Almost as much as he did.
Maybe that was it.
Wrong again.
Maybe it was when their eyes met again. He remembers how it went dark after his encounter with Ulquiorra, the bastard. And then there she was, wearing white that nearly blended with the sun. He almost thought he was dead if it wasn't for the vision of the golden shelter above him. The feeling of relief was so prominent that he still remembers it clearly. The feeling of relief, and the feeling of rage that followed.
Seeing that blue-haired bastard put his hands on her forced his broken-down body to get up. How insulting it was for the sexta to make such a bold move in front of him.
So if it's a fight the man wants, then a fight he'll give.
But his mind was somewhere else. Grimmjow was a formidable opponent. He had to hollow out just to be able to fight stronger. She knew of that side of him, but the way she looked at him... hurt.
The fear in her eyes left an unexpected wound. She was probably still affected by seeing her older brother in such a way; of course she would be. It probably brought back painful memories.
He didn't want that. He never did. Why did the look in her eyes sting so much? She doesn't hate him now, does she?
It had to have been then, right?
Actually, it might have been a little bit after that.
Those tears again, crying for him from above the canopy. Her words, plunging straight to his heart in the midst of the battle he could swear he was going to lose.
"You don't have to win. You don't have to try so hard. Just please don't get hurt anymore."
Something moved within him. God, what an idiot he is. Of course she wouldn't hate him. How stupid of him to think that way.
Even with everything going on, she still pleaded for his sake. She cared so much.
He can't allow himself to get hurt anymore. She said so herself.
There she was again, giving him drive, giving him a push in a way no one else had done before. Was she not aware of the power her words held?
Just like before. She was always there.
For her not to be was abnormal to think about. She became someone so important that it seemed unnatural for her presence to be missing. It's why he ventured here in the first place.
But of course, he would do that for any of his friends.
And yet... somehow things are just different when she's around.
Her tears were something he never liked to see, but he also knew that some feelings were so strong that they couldn't be contained silently. But on that day, her tears were so loud that they broke his missing heart that no longer beat.
Ulquiorra was strong. Too strong. Again, he failed her.
"Help me, Ichigo!!"
He heard her. She was calling him. Why wasn't his body cooperating with him? Why can't he move?
Get up. Get up! Move, dammit!
He made a promise. He promised to protect her. He intended to keep it.
Even if he knew his enemy was too powerful, or if his body lay broken on the ground. Even if darkness were to take over his body once again, he will protect her.
He would do it over and over just so her tears wouldn't fall anymore. Death wouldn't be able to hold him down so long as she spoke his name.
That was definitely it. That had to be it. That was the moment he had to have realized just how much she meant to him.
Well, damn. Maybe not even then.
Two years had passed since the battle against Aizen ended.
He felt the weakest when he lost his powers. Everyone else was doing what he was supposed to be doing. It didn't feel right.
He figured this just meant he'd finally get to live a life where he didn't have to fight anymore. For once, he wouldn't be so relied on.
Yet, he felt so useless. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. Being relied on gave him a purpose. What was he supposed to do now?
Still, she was there. Since the beginning, it's clear she had no plans on leaving his side anytime soon. He would hope so, anyway. At this point, they've been through hell and back. Even with his powers gone, the desire to protect her is still as strong now as it ever was. Possibly even stronger, because with the urgency of wanting to shield her followed the hopelessness of not having the ability to.
A chance came in the form of a hidden organization with questionable tendencies that normal people would otherwise find shady. He probably shouldn't even trust them if he were smart.
But this was also a chance to get his powers back—of course he had to take it. Having his powers back meant he could protect everyone again. He could protect her again.
He was grateful that even then, she remained by his side. Even going as far as venturing into the organization just to aid him. Being the best support anyone can know, both in her abilities and just being herself.
Her determination moved him. She got stronger with the steadfast faith she still had in him. After all this time, she still believed in him. Not a single doubt was found in her eyes.
Except that day.
Everyone he cared about turned their backs on him, even if he knew they weren't themselves. He felt like he was going insane. What made him snap, however, was that man mentioning her name.
Her name.
What gave him the right to say her name like they were so familiar?!
All of this was fucking with him mentally, but the rage he was feeling wouldn't compare to the dread that came when he saw her. The look in her eyes that day wounded him far more than they did two years ago. There was sadness behind them as he healed Tsukishima's arm, but the sadness wasn't for his sake.
Not like before. Not like how he wished it was.
"No... Stop it, Inoue. Don't fix that guy's arm! He's not...!"
He knew she wasn't herself, but he couldn't stand it. She looked at him like she didn't recognize him. The one person he knew who had unshakable faith was ripped away from him in front of his eyes.
Tsukishima was the enemy. Yet, no one else knew that but him.
The madness came as quickly as the rain. Desperation from the drive he once had after everything he had worked so hard for was torn away from him with such ease, unknowingly playing right into the hands of someone he thought he could trust. Despair was drowned in his scream. How could he have been so stupid?
Never again would he allow someone to hurt his friends the way they did. Never again would he allow such a betrayal to happen. He was determined to be smarter the next time around.
The look in her eyes. His pleas calling her, but never reaching her.
She wasn't there this time.
Surely that was the moment. Surely that was when it happened.
But what happens when the next betrayal comes from someone who was there for you from the very beginning? Who was with you every step of the way, even after so blatantly announcing his disgust for the shinigami? Someone whom you knew had become a close friend over what seemed like ages?
The war brought everyone's hopelessness to the extreme. Many lives were lost. Many lives were almost taken. No one saw the tragedy that was coming.
The worst part? His trusted friend joined their side, the perpetrators behind the massive casualties.
This was different than before. Uryu was himself. More than himself, it was as if he were completely normal. The same look of disdain, so similar to the one he used to have when they first started this journey together.
It was something none of them could even fathom, not even her. She had to hold him back just so he wouldn't get hurt in the middle of their monarch's attack and their friend's barrage of arrows, too busy focused on his own anger and anguish than seeing the harm coming his way.
Once again, she was there. Just as she always had been. Just like before.
This time, she wouldn't go anywhere. She stayed right by his side. Even as they faced the perilous monarch together, she showed no sign of fear. It was like she was ready to walk with him through fire. To say he valued that part of her was a criminal understatement—he found it touching. Uplifting. Endearing, if he dared to coin a better word.
There it was again, her unwavering spirit.
"I'm counting on you to protect me. Can you do that for me, Inoue?"
The "yes" that came from her lips beamed with as much light as she emanated day by day.
Asking for help was never easy for him. The challenges he faced weren't anyone's problems but his own. The death of his mother was his reason to protect as many people as he could, even if no one was by his side, all because he didn't want to feel like he failed all over again. It only took him this long to realize that he didn't have to take all of this weight on his own, and he was allowed to lean on others.
What he didn't realize was just how protective he had been of Orihime this entire time. He knew she was a powerful healer; she could take care of herself without any aid. Maybe it was her kind, often naive nature. Maybe he knew that having such a big heart came with a large target on her back if she wasn't careful.
Or maybe it was something else entirely. Something he had unknowingly suppressed.
The fear that once held her down threatened to come back as his horn came into view, and he knew it might have. He still remembers her eyes as clear as day. The distress in her cries still rang in his ears as his mind replayed that moment in time. She must have been so scared to hold such an expression.
So he made sure to smile, just for her, so she knew nothing had changed.
"Don't worry. I'm still me."
That was definitely it.
It had to be.
Why else, after the war and the absolute hell they went through, would he be sleeping in the same bed as the same person he leaned on that day?
Why else would his dark amber eyes gloss over to the toys still littered across their bedroom that belonged to their young son, to the silver ring on his finger that caught the light of his nightstand lamp?
A sigh drew from his lips as he raked his fingers through his shortened orange hair.
No. After all this time, he was still an idiot.
He can't remember when it happened. All he knew was that it happened for so long. The feeling of her hands making their way quietly into his heart and never letting go. Or, if he had the guts to ever be truthful with himself, her being there was his own doing. That sense of pride, of yearning, to ache for someone without knowing that had carefully woven threads into his chest and pulled when it mattered most.
He was a selfish person.
He loved her greedily for the longest time and never thought to admit it to himself.
As he heard his wife—his wife—stir in her sleep and mumble something he couldn't hear, he gently turned his form to face her. A grin found its way to his lips before placing a small kiss on her temple.
"Mmh... Ichigo...?" Orihime slurred in her slumber, clearly still half asleep.
Calling each other by their first names was something he'd never get tired of. A moment only they could relate to, not only as husband and wife, but as parents now, too.
And all Ichigo could do was let out a soft huff of a chuckle.
"I'm still here, Orihime."
Just like you. I've always been here.
And there was nowhere else he'd rather be.