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So, from Fontaine's Lumidouce Harbor, down the waterfalls heading south, they will travel to northern Yilong Wharf, and according to Beidou's recommendation, Lianfang Dim Sum has the best foods, and best tea Chenyu vale has to offer.
Kaveh noted down the different travel points in a list of places to visit when his travel plans come true.
He's been planning this trip for several weeks now, and his long distance pen pal Beidou has been a great help.
They've met years ago when Kaveh hadn't even began living with Alhaitham yet, and spent every evening drinking himself into a stupor at Lambad's while overseeing the establishment's reconstruction.
She was a fun drinking buddy, and an even greater story teller. If Kaveh hadn't been given the confirmations of her tales to be true by the crew who accompanied her on these journeys, he wouldn't have believed them at all.
Thankfully, she too, had taken a liking to him, and their once-every-few-weeks letter exchange hasn't grown tired yet. Obviously, that made her the best first hand source to ask for information from when it came to visiting Liyue.
Kaveh was quite excited for this vacation. He's worked hard, harder than he knew was actully necessary, to pay off the remaining part of his debt to Dori. And with a stable income only slightly tilted by his monthly rent and already pre-existing necessary expenses, he could finally allow himself the time and financial freedom to travel.
Alongside him, of course, would come Alhaitham. Who was also notified of the destined dates of the trip and had already put in his request for time off for the duration.
It wasn't exactly a given that he would join Kaveh. In fact, Kaveh was almost wary of mentioning this plan to him out of fear that he would react to it with his usual nonchalance and simply let Kaveh go on his own.
Instead, at the moment Kaveh as much as hinted at wanting to make a plan, Alhaitham immediately asked for the possible dates to put his notice in with the office. To Kaveh, knowing this decision came to Alhaitham as naturally as breathing, was all the reassurance he needed.
Kaveh's relationship with Alhaitham has been slowly shifting lately.
Over the last few months, the usually distant atmosphere at home had changed into something warmer. The way they've began their conversations was nicer, softer. The silent mutual acknowledgement, respect, and consideration of sharing meals together felt good.
Maybe that moment Alhaitham lingered in the kitchen when they washed their dishes together and his hand landed on top of Kaveh's wasn't as much of an accident.
Perhaps when Kaveh sat down beside him on the divan in the evening to relax, him scooting close enough till their shoulders touched was also intentional.
Plenty of instances started to stir Kaveh's heart, growing a bubble of uncertainty and hope within him. Alhaitham brushed Kaveh's hair out of his eyes while he was cooking. He changed the sheets on Kaveh's bed when he knew Kaveh would return late one evening. He even pulled and cuddled Kaveh in his arms during a few extra cold nights this season.
They weren't quite friends, but they weren't exactly more than friends either.
This thin line they kept teetering on was nowhere near strong enough to handle the loudness of their heartbeats through these little moments of affectionate intimacy.
A small part of Kaveh anticipated this planned trip to Liyue for more than just his chance to explore Teyvat freely, but also for it possibly being the step that will lead them into a stronger type of bond.
He knew Alhaitham only had eyes for him, and he too, couldn't deny that nobody had ever settled so deep into his heart like Alhaitham had. A spot reserved only for him, and vice versa, only for himself, too.
Would they maybe hold hands as they walk through foreign streets where nobody would recognize or judge them for divulging in one another? Would they share a bed in the hotels they'd switch every few days? Would they kiss between sips of the finest tea in Teyvat, sitting by the green reflecting waters surrounded by tall ancient mountains?
Kaveh let out a dreamy sigh. These won't have to remain as mere speculations for much longer.
Daydreaming of which, shouldn't Alhaitham be home already by now? For a man as strict as him about things like work and upholding a schedule, it was odd he hadn't yet arrived.
Puzzled, but not worried, Kaveh narrowed down a few more of the options on the list. They could easily discuss this further over dinner tonight, and he knew Alhaitham had very few grievances when stepping out into the world.
Most of which he had already taken off the list by himself. But the rest should be fine. There won't be much they could do about the crowds of Yilong Wharf, after all. Surely he'd be willing to compromise at least a little bit.
Eventually, Kaveh heard familiar footsteps approaching the front of their home. Satisfied with his progress for the day, he picked his list of optional spots to visit on their trip, and began making his way to the door.
It wouldn't be too out of the ordinary for him to greet Alhaitham as he entered, and while in such a good mood, he hoped the excitement would be reciprocated. Or at the very least, acknowledged in the way Alhaitham manages to never break his flow despite not pariticpating in it.
With a spring to his step, Kaveh made it to the door, the paper in one hand and the pencil in another.
A pleasant clicking of keys and a small creak later, the door opened, and in front of him stood Alhaitham.
The first unusual detail about this arrival was the fact that he was late. The second was the way his hair was tussled and messy out of order, as if a hand had been running through it a whole bunch of times in different directions. The third was his troubled expression, and the fourth, the fact that he completely avoided making eye contact with Kaveh.
"Uh... Hey...?"
Kaveh blurted a confused greeting, having not expected to be met with such a strange circumstance.
Alhaitham stepped inside, intentionally avoiding even facing Kaveh, and began taking off his coat and shoes by the door, no response.
Well, that shouldn't stop him.
"So I've been going over Beidou's letters and made a list of different spots we could visit," Kaveh began again, not really acknowledging the distant coldness of Alhaitham's current attitude, following after him through the hallway towards the kitchen, "since we'll be starting in Fontaine I thought we could visit the Opera Epiclese and watch a play," he continued, half busy excitedly sharing the information and half observing the way Alhaitham gulped down a full glass of water by the sink in near desperation.
"There is also a big fountain and---"
"Later."
Alhaitham shut him off with a single word, turned around, walked into his room, and closed the door with a louder than usual click.
What...?
Kaveh was stunned.
This was beyond surprising. He was so cold, so distant, so rude. What on earth was up with that? Kaveh could barely process what had just happened.
But as he silently wandered back to the coffee table where the big map, papers, letters and plans were spread after he had worked on them for hours, he suddenly felt offended. Fine, if he didn't want to talk about it today, then Kaveh will just have to pester him about it tomorrow.
Wasn't he the one so eager to send in his time off request? He made it look like he was so excited, so willing to go along with Kaveh's plans for this long awaited shared trip of theirs. Why the cold shoulder now?
He bitterly shoved all of his research into a pile and tucked it under his arm to place anywhere that Alhaitham won't be able to see. The sad pout hadn't left his lips all through the late dinner he had in his lonesome right after.
What was even wrong with Alhaitham? Why did he suddenly act like that?
After a night of restless sleep, Kaveh woke up with a sad sigh.
Maybe he was too hard on Alhaitham yesterday. Kaveh too, even more often, used to have really harsh days from time to time. Days where he didn't want to see anyone, speak to anyone or even be in the same vicinity as anyone. That unfortunately included Alhaitham.
In fact, chances are that Kaveh had acted this exact same way before, more than once. More than many times, even. Over the years they've shared together in his house there were plenty of examples he could easily recall where he's been beyond unkind to his junior.
And Alhaitham never complained. Never retaliated, never turned it against him.
It'd be hypocritical of him to judge Alhaitham too harshly for experiencing even a fraction of such frustration and being unable to restrain the emotions involved.
All of this early morning self reflection had him feeling a little bad, a little sorry for Alhaitham. From this moment on, he decided he will put a whole lot more consideration into the choices he'll make for the trip.
No harm will be done if he simply removed a few options from the list. Options he deemed too unpleasant for someone who struggles with noise like Alhaitham.
Kaveh spent the rest of the day cleaning the house more thoroughly, lamenting on his own emotions and realizations since yesterday.
The easy conclusion to reach was that he should generally be nicer to Alhaitham. Especially when he can so clearly tell that he's going through harder days.
He went out and brought fresh new ingredients, then spent the rest of the afternoon and evening cooking a meal he knew Alhaitham liked. Something full of healthy vegetable, a good chunk of protein filled meat, and a whole lot of delicious seasoning. Not too moist, not too dry.
By the time Alhaitham will be home, it'd be perfectly cooked for their shared dinner.
Although he still did struggle internally with the concept of having to apologize to his junior for any reason, he knew this will be important, and practiced in his heart how he'd approach the subject in a way that won't hurt his own pride too much.
Alhaitham deserved a proper apology, even in retrospect, and he deserved to have his kindness acknowledged and appreciated. Late is better than never.
He might stumble, not quite say the right words to comfort his struggling junior, but the good food and genuine positive intentions would surely help at least a little bit, right?
The anticipation was bubbling in his chest, the food he cooked made the whole house smell amazing, and although he was still a little anxious about delving into a slightly more personal territory of conversation, he knew it was important.
It was time for Alhaitham to arrive home, and yet, he didn't.
Ten minutes, twenty, forty, an hour and then some passed without a sign of his housemate approaching.
The small candle of anxiety had grown into a larger flame.
But no, it'll be alright, Kaveh just had to calm down and take it easy. Right now Alhaitham was going through a bad period of time at work, that was surely the reason. He just had to be accommodating, careful, patient.
But when Alhaitham finally returned home, way later than Kaveh had anticipated, he looked even worse than the previous day. Sweating, slightly flushed, posture somewhat uneven. He gave Kaveh nothing more than a quick unfeeling glance before passing right by him wordlessly and fortifying himself in his room.
Did... Kaveh do something wrong...?
Why was this happening? What was making Alhaitham act so out of norm? So cold and distant, like even being near the very concept of Kaveh made him disgusted.
Normally Kaveh would have stormed into his room and demanded answers, but that would be really rude and mean. And Kaveh had already decided he won't act that way towards Alhaitham anymore.
Frankly, he hasn't had a reason to for a long time now. Things have been going so well between them for months up until the last couple of days.
Kaveh shouldn't jump to conclusions, he'd turn them both into fools if he ended up assuming this whole situation was somehow his fault.
Although every bone in his body was trembling of that fear becoming a reality.
They've already separated before. For ten whole years at that.
Things have gotten so good, so why are they changing? What went wrong? Could Alhaitham have finally gotten tired of him? Has he been too much? Too unlovable for too long? Would Alhaitham truly not be able to forgive him even after a decade?
Kaveh's gotten to love the butterflies that stirred in his tummy at the excitement of Alhaitham returning home, of them spending time together, of their pleasant conversations, and even pleasant silences.
But now he was drowning in anxiety and sadness. Unsure what he should do, or perhaps shouldn't do to make things right again.
With a heavy sigh and a shaking hand, Kaveh ran fingers through his own hair, pulling it away from his face. His heart was aching and his head started following suit, throbbing at the connection with his neck.
There was still a chance all of this wasn't even about him.
That was the last hope he could hang on to.
Kaveh went out the next day. Out of Sumeru city, into Avidya forest, and west on the path to Gandharva ville.
Cyno and Tighnari both welcomed him with open arms and bright smiles. They did pose the question of Alhaitham's whereabouts, considering both Alhaitham and Kaveh were invited, but Alhaitham hadn't responded when Kaveh woke up to ask if he'd like to join.
Chances are, he won't be making the trip all the way here on his own. But to Kaveh this was almost second nature, having spent many years with his friends' company before.
The food was delicious, the atmosphere was cosy and nice compared to the colder wetter outdoors, and yet Kaveh's mind was still occupied with nothing but his Alhaitham-related worries.
It was difficult to pretend to be jolly even with two most precious friends who wanted to have a good time with him.
Unfortunately, he had to admit to himself that despite his efforts, this wasn't exactly out of the ordinary. For the past two years, Kaveh had poured his heart out to them all through the slow process of rebuilding his unclear relationship with Alhaitham.
They already knew it all. From the worst of the beginning, to the blossoming affections as of late. Well, until a few days ago, that is.
When things improved enough to where Kaveh no longer felt he was being wronged for simply existing within Alhaitham's space, there was no need for the constant updates anymore.
But things took a turn for a worse he would have never expected.
He tried to be polite, tried to avoid bringing it up, to enjoy the moment for what it was and allow his thoughts to be clear, even just for a while. But he could tell they noticed something was up.
Soft hearted as they were, they didn't ask, and instead allowed Kaveh to gather the courage to tell them what happened at his own pace.
That alone was enough to stir his heart all over again. He loved them both dearly. His life might have been full of misfortune, but he truly won for having managed to obtain these two as friends.
He softened into the subject by attempting to gather more information about the state of Alhaitham's department at work from Cyno.
Working for the old sages wasn't easy, and working for the new sages must be twice as hard, considering Alhaitham has more experience in their field than they themselves do. Alhaitham's role, officially a simple 'Scribe' was more so a mentor for the new members holding Sumeru's positions of power.
But Cyno had no new details to hand, even with their fields often intercepting in one way or another. No news of any changes, nothing happening, no events out of the ordinary have taken place.
Kaveh concluded his attempt with a big sad sigh and spilled the beans, explaining what has been happening between Alhaitham and himself, how odd his roommate was behaving, and how confused it made him feel.
He spent countless hours of sleepless nights trying to burrow his way through Alhaitham's mind, or at least, as close to it as he could replicate on his own, to find out what he could have done to trigger such an intense backlash from the man.
But all roads led him nowhere. He was truly lost.
As he continued explaining how Alhaitham has been coming home in the past few days, a new seed of dark thoughts landed on the surface of his mind. Sent its small roots right into the veins of his thoughts.
Alhaitham has been coming home looking quite rough. Shirt slightly undone, face slightly sweaty and flushed, hair a disheveled mess... He even smelled a little different. As if he's been spending time in a new space Kaveh couldn't recognize before reaching home.
Adding all these details together had his mind grasping for straws.
But... Hah.
There was no way, right?
There was simply no way Alhaitham had found someone... Right?
Kaveh's heart began racing, aching, before his mind could catch on. His chest felt tight, and the evil seed suddenly flooded his whole head.
The image of Alhaitham being close with someone else... Sitting near, touching hands, sliding arms, smiling, drinking, kissing, looking at anyone else like he did at Kaveh--- It made Kave feel sick.
There wasn't enough air in the whole world to help how difficult it was for him to breathe at this very moment.
Without a filter, he let the flow of his darkest thoughts out for his friends to hear.
At first, they tried to steer him away from that path, one he knew was a slippery slope to self sabotage and destruction. But as the details piled up into what could very easily be considered a case full of evidence, the less they could say to refute them.
And with all of it, Kaveh still couldn't believe his own arguments. There was simply no way it could be true. He felt like he was going insane.
Alhaitham wouldn't cheat on him. Never. Absolutely not.
Alhaitham didn't even like spending time with anybody, especially not people who weren't part of their closer circle of friends.
But...
He didn't like going out, yet kept coming home late...
He cared quite a lot about his appearance, yet looked so roughed up every time...
He spent a whole while brushing his hair, yet returned with it a mess...
He has been using the same cologne ever since they've been reunited, yet he comes back smelling like something entirely different...
For so many months now, the two of them have been slowly closing the gaps that remained wide open from their fight a decade ago, bridging closer to one another both emotionally and physically.
Sure, they've never done anything more than simple innocent things, but Alhaitham wouldn't do such things with just anybody, right?
They hadn't had the time, or perhaps the courage, to put a label on what they were. But were they even label-worthy? What was their connection exactly? Were they even 'together' for Alhaitham to be considered a cheater if he did choose to dabble into intimacy with anyone else?
Kaveh did his best to hold back his urge to burst into tears. But he had a harder time fighting the urge to never set a foot back home again.
Deep down in his heart he knew he was bloating this entire situation up, inflating it way out of proportion. He was just speculating the worst possible outcome because that was all he ever experienced through his life. Well, up until he reunited with Alhaitham, that is.
He was anxious, worried, and so very scared of losing the only source of hope that stood stable enough against his tumultuous life full of self sabotage. Scared of losing Alhaitham. Scared of losing the ability to actually live his life in the happiness he managed to reach with him.
He loved Alhaitham. He loved him with all his heart.
It was ridiculous that it took such an exteme measure of torturing himself with 'what if's to reach an already so fundamentally rooted fact within himself.
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't imagine Alhaitham being closer to anybody other than he is to Kaveh. Not to the same degree. Not in this lifetime.
With a heavy heart full of guilt and anger, both of which he had manifested upon himself on his own, Kaveh trudged back home. Gloomy and dejected despite the cheerful chirping of the rising birds signifying the early morning's arrival.
Ah... So it was already morning. Soon time for Alhaitham to go to work.
Perhaps Kaveh should just wait outside for a little while longer, and only enter after Alhaitham had already left.
In the current state of his mind, he wasn't sure he could handle facing him directly only to be shoved aside as if he didn't matter at all. Not again. The first few blows hurt enough.
So he waited, standing by the door of their home in silence.
And he waited.
And waited.
And Alhaitham did not come out.
Well, this was unusual. Other Akademiya students and staff alike were already making their way up the path towards the entrance, and Alhaitham normally leaves at least several minutes before the flow of people even begins.
Confused, slightly worried, and mostly suspicious, Kaveh grit his teeth and entered home anyway. In complete silence of course.
He shut the door behind him so slowly it didn't even let out its usual high pitched wooden creak. After the successful infiltration, he began heading towards his own room. At least hiding inside in comfort let him avoid staying any longer within the cold outdoors.
That was when he heard it.
A loud, heavy THUD coming right from Alhaitham's room.
No. There was no way.
His mind ran a million miles in a split second, wrapped by the thoughts he had during his conversation with Cyno and Tighnari all over again.
Was someone in the room with him? Did they fall out of the bed because they heard Kaveh enter? Were they trying to escape through the window before they'll be caught?
Overhwelmed by these heartwrecking fears, Kaveh paced to Alhaitham's door and swung it open at once with a loud bang.
"Haitham!! What on earth is going on---"
In front of him the bedsheets were a tangled mess. Alhaitham's large body was splattered unceremoniously on the floor, limbs half hanging from the bedside, wrapped in blankets and pillows alike.
His face was dark and pale at the same time, obvious distress and pain between his sharply taut brows and flared nostrills. He hissed, skin shining from what appeared to be heavy sweating. All of his muscles were trembling, and his breathing was shallow and quick.
Kaveh froze at the door frame, the whole tower of fears he had constructed in his head about Alhaitham possibly cheating on their nonexistent relationship crumbled down into a million tiny pieces and evaporated entirely.
Alhaitham didn't betray him.
Alhaitham was sick.
Kaveh bolted into the room and rushed to Alhaitham, carefully cradling him in his arms into a far less painful position, and stroking the sweaty hairs out of his eyes.
"Haitham, are you alright?"
Alhaitham's eyes barely opened, dazed and heavy.
His heart thumped loudly in his chest from a whole different reason now. The fear of losing Alhaitham switched from a social one, to a very tangible physical one.
He looked like he was truly suffering so terribly, and it stung Kaveh to realize he enabled the situation to turn this dire with his own self absorbed worries. He was a fool, he knew it already, but now he got to see the direct consequences of his inaction play out.
Alhaitham was a big and heavy man, but Kaveh didn't even feel the strain it took to lift him back onto the bed. His body was burning.
No more time was wasted as he dashed out of the room. A pile of towels, a bowl of cold water, their first aid kit, and the whole basket of medicine from the cabinet were brought to Alhaitham's bedside in a flash.
Kaveh rolled up his sleeves and went right to business.
He carefully adjusted Alhaitham's body to allow him to drink water, then laid him back down and bundled him up with the blankets. Wrapped and warm. A cold damp towel was placed on Alhaitham's forehead and eyes, his pillow lifted above another to avoid letting his head feel too stuffed.
Alhaitham tried to mumble something out to him, but Kaveh didn't quite pay attention or let him speak while taking care of him with haste.
Only after making sure Alhaitham was still and comfortable, he finally left the room and started salvaging whatever he found in their kitchen into a thick and healthy soup. He knew Alhaitham wasn'te quite a fan of soup on the daily, but this wasn't a daily occurance. Nor will he have the chance to lift a book to read while eating anyway.
He didn't have time to think about the 'why' or the 'what' that poisoned his mind for the past few days.
All of the available blankets in the house have become occupied. Half of them on top of Alhaitham, and the other half was used by Kaveh in building himself a nest, or a coccoon of sorts, where he could remain comfortably and sleep by Alhaitham's side on the floor. That way if he'd need anything, Kaveh would be easily woken up and able to offer help immediately.
This was his best decision so far. After having spent the night with his friends, Kaveh managed to catch up on plenty of rest during Alhaitham's matching nap times.
So when he was woken up by the gentle touch of a hand stroking his head, he was quite surprised.
"Haitham...?" He mumbled, his body automatically rising out of the blankets so he could tend to Alhaitham without delay.
But the hand softly sliding fingers through his hair kept him seated, kept him calm. It took him a moment to focus, but when he did, Alhaitham was looking in his direction. He seemed exhausted and weaker than ever before, but there was so much warmth in his eyes. Not just because of his fever, Kaveh knew this was a look full of honest affection.
Kaveh shot him back a small smile and leaned into the touch for a few moments, just long enough for Alhaitham to be satisfied and pull his arm back. Which was when Kaveh rose to his feet, helped him drink more water, and fixed his blankets again, tucking him in once more.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better."
His voice was not hoarse, just low and weak. Kaveh sighed lightly and sat on the bed, picking more hair away from Alhaitham's eyes.
"How long have you been sick? Why didn't you say anything?"
Alhaitham averted his eyes to the side with a mix of shame and guilt.
"... Didn't want you to catch it," He began, Kaveh could tell he at least somewhat regretted choosing the course of actions he had taken up to this point. "You finally have free time..." He added, then turned to look at Kaveh again.
"I thought it'd just pass. I wanted to hear your plans for the trip." He continued again. "You..." A troubled expression took over his face. "You've taken care of someone else for long enough. I didn't want to remind you... of your mom."
Kaveh stared down at him blankly for a few moments, digesting what he had just said.
So all of this time, Alhaitham has been avoiding Kaveh with the goal of trying to prevent him from getting sick? Trying to make sure Kaveh won't feel obligated to waste his free time tending to him in case it'll bring back bad memories long past?
Kaveh was convinced he had been the fool, but it seemed like Alhaitham was it all along.
"You're such a dummy."
He pouted, an attempt to scold his junior, but his voice shook with emotions. What a silly man. This was so unlike Alhaitham that Kaveh could only chuck this decision up to Alhaitham's mind truly being delirious from the fever.
"You scared the hell out of me..." Kaveh admitted, then curled down and let his head press down on Alhaitham's covered chest, "I thought I made you upset somehow... With my plans or with just, my presence."
He sighed and let himself lie down beside Alhaitham instead. The barrier of blankets left enough distance between them for it be alright. Alhaitham shifted on the bed beside him so they could look at each other.
Kaveh noted to himself how even in such a state, he was still so handsome.
An arm was stretched out of the blankets in his direction, bridging the gap between them, Alhaitham's long fingers returned to stroke through Kaveh's hair again, elbow tucked in the nook between their pillows.
In this serene moment of silence, the two of them locked eyes after days of cold indifference.
"Have I ever ignored you before, senior?"
"No..."
Alhaitham exhaled softly.
"That's right, I would never do it with a sound mind. I apologize."
Kaveh nodded and began himself, "I... I also don't want to make you feel like you upset me anymore..." He felt his heart speed up, yet his body loosened all the more on the mattress thanks to the gentle display of closeness soothing his head.
"When you first returned in a bad state I realized I've been really impatient... Snappy, tense, towards you. I don't want to feel that way, I don't want you to feel that way either."
"You never upset me. Your only fault is causing my heart to beat irregularly whenever you're around."
Alhaitham explained as if it was a matter of fact, but Kaveh's eyes widened at the implications of such a bold statement.
"Your heart...?"
"You make it beat like crazy." Alhaitham admitted again, this time with a hint of a teasing smirk. Although it looked ridiculous and somewhat pathetic while the wet towel covered the top of his face.
Kaveh burst into laughter instantly, causing them both to shake due to the movement on the bed they were sharing. His face felt hot, hopefully not because he was catching Alhaitham's fever.
"We'll deal with that later," He smiled.
"Sounds good."
Alhaitham slowly sank back into another nap, the consistent movement of his fingers over Kaveh's head ceased, and yet Kaveh remained lying beside his junior, glee pulsing through his veins.
They will deal with that later, too.