Chapter Text
A long long time ago King Ishowspeed ruled over Greece and had eleven kids. Their names were Emily the First Who Died Super Duper Soon For Some Reason, Kenji the Banner Lady Ma’am Sir, Elizabeth Not The First Or Second It’s Actually The Third And Also Not The Old Queen Of England, Rein Pronounced Rain, Masajiro Seasonal Bread, Bram, Mason, Chinchou, Lemon Doctor Five, Smilelanding, Hairtie, And Jamie Ishikawa. Jamie was a very beautiful lady, so she gained a lot of traction with boys in her younger day. And also loads of other boys wanted to kiss her since her papa was King Ishowspeed.
When Jamie turned 20 years old, she was wed to very rude, ugly and mean man named King Tut. King Tut was pushing 25, and previously was married to another girl, named Queen Lori when he was 29 and she was 18. Jamie did not say anything though, since she did not want to disappoint her father.
On the sad and gloomy morning of their wedding day, King Tut had stolen Jamie's clothes since he was too broke to bring any, and also because he just thought he looked nicer in them. Hence this, Jamie had no clothes. Did I mention this also happened in December? So you can imagine how cold she was. Also for some reason, King Tut said that he needed a sample of Jamie's blood. Jamie said no because she got scared, and King Tut thought that Jamie was disobeying him and wanted to sword fight him, so they did. King Tut was about to land the final strike on Jamie until King Ishowspeed crashed the party. “What are you doing to my daughter?!?!?!?” King Ishowspeed asked, filled with anger. Since king Ishowspeed was feared all over the world because
1) He won every bark contest
2) He owned so much land
Obviously, it was only natural for King Tut to be scared of King Ishowspeed. He was also with his third wife, Queen Tung Tung Tung Sahur. King Tut immediately apologized, and thought that Jamie was just a random Greek girl. He also said that he would never try to hurt Jamie ever again. King Ishowspeed and Queen Tung Tung Tung Sahur refused that obviously-a-lie apology, and would only accept King Tut's heart. King Tut thought they were joking, so he said yes, just in case they keep him alive and he inherits a lot of money. The King and Queen were not joking at all though. Jamie was prompted with the honors to grab King Tut's heart out, but she thought that was disgusting and said no, so King Ishowspeed did it instead. After this happened, King Ishowspeed and Queen Tung Tung Tung Sahur decided they would find a new king for Jamie. The new King was named King Von.
King von had a big fat crush on Jamie, so he was excited to marry her. On the day of this wedding, Jamie was wearing this big poofy dress, similar to the ones in quinceañeras. King Von also bought for her since he was extra rich from his old wife, but we’ll talk about her later. King von was also in an extremely fancy tuxedo, which was tailored by Queen Elizabeth the First (not Jamie's sister!) In the end, King von and Queen Jamie got married, and in the future had like 5+ kids. The end!