Work Text:
The new year has gained a month, leaving its momentous glory behind to let people settle into the fresh beginning. Established comrades find time for closure. Families bless each other, wishing nothing but the best. Budding love doves frolic for courtship after the eve's kiss. Friends swear to keep their bonds strong and true.
Fenrir had none of that. He hid away from the holiday parties and burrowed in the laboratory, excusing himself with the workload that he falsely inflated. People knew of his existence on the field, but not many sought him off duty. Hence no one would ask him how he was. No real friendship to form connections or share drinks with. Just a stagnant, solitary life that brought peace and quiet.
He should be grateful rather than feeling lonely. This was okay. There were no unwanted taunts following after him when he stayed in his station. No hard shoves. No passive aggressiveness. No pity or overexertion to force inclusivity on him. Only silence in his dark corner with a desk lamp that shone with warm whiteness, an artificial imitation of sunshine.
Until an incident pinned him under a harsh spotlight. Ever since the recent infiltration from Deimos' party, the tension was thick in the Rainbow headquarters. He hoped the hype of new year dampened the shock of the invasion. This happened already some months ago, but Fenrir still felt eyes lingering on him at the cafeteria.
The unfairness of it all. He also was there, at the mission, valiantly fighting off the Keres agents. However, some people still dared to doubt Fenrir and his intentions.
He couldn't stay here any longer. Hastily gathering a slice of sourdough bread and butter for a quick lunch, he berated at himself for showing up and focused on scurrying back into his hole.
"Look, loyalty and deviousness don't go hand in hand." Jackal raised his volume to ensure his words reached within Fenrir's earshot. "I really don't think he should've been there in the roster when we 'escorted' his old friend to the extraction point."
The hushed murmurs and glares were as expected. They hurt, but Fenrir grew thicker skin to withstand them. He bit on his cheeks and tongue, and focused on the physical pain rather than the mental.
Then a visage of pale zipped by. At first as a gleam in his peripheral vision, which quickly zoomed to land in front of him like a full blown shooting star. "Excuse me, what?" Iana seemed beyond agitated. He could only see the backside of the shorter woman, but all he could focus on was the pale and fine strands of hair moving in rather animated motion. "You. You take that back."
"Why should I?" Jackal approached and stood tall. Shoulders squared up and unyielding in posture, towards the opposing individual who had to look up at him.
"Because he deserves to be here." Her hands curled into tight fists, but she hid them behind her back as soon as they began to shake. "He risked his life, just like any of us have done against those lunatics."
"Maybe he brought them to us." Jackal jutted his chin at Fenrir. "He might have fought with us to keep his cover intact. His part in the mission doesn't prove anything." He stepped in closer and tried to swerve around Iana.
"Don't you think that mission was the golden opportunity for Emil to put us in jeopardy?" She held her ground and never let Jackal cross the line. "His F-NATT could have detonated right under our feet. He could have done it anytime, by the cargo storage, inside the Hereford base and on the way towards the helicopter. But it was used against the Keres at all times. Never at us."
Jackal rolled his eyes. "Say something, Svensson. Are you going to let someone else talk in your stead?"
Fenrir tightened his jaw at being put on a tight spot. His blood ran cold and lips felt rigid and dry when he sucked them in. Words jumbled busily in his head as he tried to handpick whatever sounded diplomatic rather than aggressive. He finally opened his mouth, hoping to show half the courage that Iana had shown for him. "I know you are still skeptical of what I do, or who I am as a person. But I'd like to tell you and everybody here that I intend to work with you, albeit quietly so you won't have to see too much of me."
"Yeah, he's just a little different." Iana puffed up her chest, which seemed to expand her domain and coerce Jackal to reel back on his domineering attitude. "Go have a nap and think twice about acting like a grouchy owl next time."
"She's got a point."
"Hah, he can talk, after all."
"Yeah, cut the man some slack, Ryad."
"Chill out, dude."
Jackal might have intended to stay rigid a bit longer if the crowd continued to silently agree with him. However, the table had turned, which led him to sigh and saunter away while muttering something is Spanish.
She won. Fenrir admired the strength she displayed, against and for people who were far larger than her, but he felt guilty upon seeing her tremble. He hoped that she didn't have to get involved in this, because it was his fight that he was willing to lose.
"Miss Meijer-" Fenrir reached out for a mild tap on her shoulder, "are you alright?" She wasn't budging from her spot.
"Call me Nienke." Iana finally turned around to face him. "And next time, for the sake of yourself, please, please don't you just stand there and take in those insults."
"But he's not wrong." Fenrir lowered his gaze. "My recruitment here isn't the most conventional out of all of us." He nearly choked on his own spit, upon sudden impact on both of his cheeks.
Iana had grabbed his face and jerked him up to level their eyes. "He is wrong to judge you. You need to believe in yourself and what you have done so far, because I find your studies remarkable."
From her sweaty palms, Fenrir felt a minor tremble. "Miss-"
"Nienke. That's Nienke for you." Her voice shook. There was a smile on her lips, but those moistened and reddened eyes conveyed emotions that he couldn't quite fathom.
"Nienke." Fenrir came to remember that she was the one who called him by his name first. "I'm Emil." Still, a formal introduction was a priority as a man of manners.
"Emil." Iana's stare lingered, the kind he didn't shy away from. "Oh. Oh shi- snap." She quickly let go of his face and apologised for being so abrupt. "Sorry. I'm not usually so rude or touchy. I- uh- I didn't want you to feel bad or sad or anything alike."
"That's okay." Considering how she saved him, there wasn't any offence to be taken. An awkward pause was beginning to set in, so Fenrir wrecked his brain to break the ice before it set in any thicker. "Which part of my studies did you particularly like?"
Her face lit up. "Neuro-ophthalmology. Not that I was trying to find a way to become immune to your gas, but I need to find a way to lessen the sensitivity on my nerves. Gemini connection problem, you see?"
"Oh? And?" Fenrir noted a distant link between his and her studies, but it certainly caught his attention to hear more about it. They found a spot to sit down with a simple dish and beverage, then walked back to the lab while busily conversing on background research. Fenrir found himself moving his files and laptop to the station closer to hers, and a few hours turned into days. Weeks. A prolonged project to gain Mira and Thermite's approval to get started on.
Working with Iana brought a sense of familiarity. Collaborative studies with cross-check here and there, mining a fine gem of usable reference from a mountain of reports and thesis. It was a slower process overall, but Fenrir enjoyed the journey.
Eventually they spent most of their time together. Nerding out on science fiction media. Slugging along at the bottom half of communal long runs, spotting each other for weight lifts because they both hated the exercise but Thorn insisted on including it in their programme. Library trips led to compulsive purchases at local bookshops, to a point where they made a promise to actually finish the book they bought or else they had to do each others' chores.
As much as he appreciated Iana's company, he was still baffled, and wondered why Iana stood up for him back then. Before the incident with Jackal, she was just a fellow resident in the laboratory, along with himself and other workaholics. They spoke no less than a casual greeting from time to time, so where did she find the compassion to be his heroine? The questions piled up the longer they spent time together, but none were raised. He didn't want to ruin this friendship, or any possibility of it becoming more.
-
On the night 13th February, Iana beckoned Fenrir to her desk.
It was the same old misarray of smudged laptop, books with blotches of post-it notes and unwashed mugs.
"How come it always gets so messy, miss Nienke?" Fenrir chuckled and gave her the formal title, a little inside joke whenever she forgot to do her chores as a responsible adult. "I thought we cleaned it last weekend, after you cleaned mine. Or am I here to serve as your educated butler again?" He felt a jab on his rib and held down the giddy reaction. This was her way of teasing, after complaining that his neck was unreachable for her to lock down whenever he made cheeky remarks.
"Shut. Butlers don't have smart mouth like yours." Iana took several more jabs. "And mister Emil, I'm sure you've got some explaining to do because I've found my jars of nutella empty. It was supposed to last a month and I think somebody ate it all."
Apparently he was also a child by nature, on this occasion. "I am a smart mouth, after all. Brain needs calories to burn, so I might have needed a bit more than usual."
"Is that so?" Iana smirked, but the smile stiffened when she held onto the knob of the drawer. "Then here. It's not much, but I got you this." She pulled out a box. Black, tied in maroon ribbon. Strange. He hadn't seen it when they organised her desk days ago.
"That's new. Did you go out shopping yesterday?"
"Yeah. I- yeah. Open it." Iana hurriedly shoved it into his hand.
He raised a brow. Perplexed at first, then when he took the lid off, a genuine surprise had his eyes widen. "Chocolates." Not the kind from supermarkets. Pristine and crafted by artisans, because each of them were designed with colours and shapes that indicated its flavour profiles.
"Yup." Iana became restless. She looked in all directions, the four corners of the room except Fenrir.
"Why?" Fenrir mirrored Iana, wondered where her eyes were laying at, then asked again to grab her attention. "Nienke, is this really for me?" The pounding rhythm rattled his ribcages, along with repetitive doubts that kept telling him to calm down. She doesn't mean it. Not like that. This is just a friendly gift.
"Yes. Yes, alright? Happy Valentine's. Be my Valentine, or whatever." She eventually slowed down to stare back at Fenrir. "I got it for me too, since you haven't given me any." Their eyes met, only for a few seconds before she took one to pop it in her mouth.
He leaned in, chasing after the present that was meant for him. Her lips eagerly welcomed him, as she pulled him down by the neck. He wrapped an arm around her waist to close in the gap between them. Sweetness on the tip of his tongue, along with bitter cacao and zesty citrus as he breathed in.
The more they indulged in the taste of romance, hands travelled along the curves and dips of each other's body. When Iana swept under the tuft of his hair, his hand fell on her lower back. Alarm bell rang and Fenrir had to gently part their kiss. Their touches were kindling his flame, nurturing it to grow at an uncontrollable pace.
"Wow." He was panting. "I- um- since when-"
"Since when I wanted to get to know more about you. I read what you have done, became intrigued, kinda felt about your situation but couldn't find the right moment to talk to you. You had this barrier, you see."
"Oh." Fenrir rubbed his chin. "Yeah, that I did."
"Then I saw you being bullied and I knew it was out of line for me to step in, but I really, really couldn't bear to see something like that happen to you. Partly because I was bullied too." She gave him some space and leaned against the table.
His heart sank upon hearing a glimpse of her past. How and who dared to do something like that? She was- "You're the most wonderful person I've ever met." He didn't feel like filtering his thoughts this time.
"Hah. I'm flattered." She shrugged and hung her head low. "But not those guys. They didn't seem to think so. I'm over it and whatever happened had happened, but some nights I think about what they said and- yeah. That's why I wanted to help you out."
"For that, I must thank you." Fenrir was quick to extend his arm and comb her hair over the ear. She was a proud survivor and such a defeated look didn't suit her. "And tell me about what they've said. I have my fair share of studies to disapprove of them."
"What, you've studied me?" Iana let out a laugh and jabbed into Fenrir's ribs.
In return, he pulled in for a hug and waited until she wrapped her arms around him too. "All because you opened up to me." They swayed in motion, as a unit and then parted again to find a spot where they could sit next to each other. The night was still young. There were plenty of chocolates to be eaten, and stories to unfold. Trails of personal histories were shared and they held hands to walk through them, as they decided to pave a new path as a couple.