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Bucky knew it wouldn't be easy taking care of two kids who were simultaneously sick with food poisoning, especially when said kids were both superhumans who weren't accustomed to being sick like regular humans were, but he still may have underestimated just how difficult it would be.
When both John and Bob woke up vomiting and having borderline explosive diarrhea this morning, Bucky knew it couldn't be anything else but food poisoning. He couldn't count how many times he and Steve would get food poisoning when they were growing up from eating shitty carnival foods or expired crap they were forced to eat if they didn't want to starve, so he knew what it looked like. And given that John and Bob had gone to a bowling alley last night and had both eaten from the food court there, it wasn't hard to put two and two together. They'd been regressed practically since then too, reduced to a grumpy teenager and a fussy baby respectively–attitudes and behavior amplified even more by how sick they felt.
Bucky has dealt with more puke and shit in one single morning than he has in his entire life. He's had to change Bob out of several onesies and pajamas because of blowouts and uncontrollable vomiting. John refused to wear a pull-up despite how sensitive and volatile his bowels were, which meant Bucky ended up having to clean up several accidents off the floor and wash out several pairs of John's underwear. Bucky loved his boys, dearly. He would go to the ends of the earth for them. But it wasn't common for both of them to be sick at the same time, and Bucky would be lying if he said he wasn't struggling to look after them on his own. Bucky definitely could have used his team or his husband's support right about now.
Yelena, Ava and Alexei had been shipped out to Brazil for a mission that required their specific set of skills. Bucky nor John or Bob knew the exact details of the mission (Valentina refused to divulge any other information than that none of them were allowed to contact each other until the mission was complete), but it wasn't the first time the Thunderbolts were given an assignment outside of the country that was meant to be top secret even from members of their own team before. As for Sam, him and Joaquin were all the way on the other side of the States in California to aid the Runaways in their mission to dismantle the remainder of their parents' organization in LA, and they likely wouldn't return to New York until all of the Pride's network and connections were entirely severed for good.
So, until any of them returned, Bucky was on his own. He just needed to get the boys through these next twenty-fours and hope that a majority of the sickness would be out of their system by then.
"Pop?"
Bucky paused where he'd been pouring cherry punch flavored Pedialyte into a bottle for Bob, whipping around to look behind him. John was standing underneath the kitchen's archway with his hands stuffed in his pockets, dressed in a black t-shirt and matching pair of plaid pajama bottoms. He still looked haggard with bags under his eyes and his usually neatly kept golden hair a wavy mess, but Bucky was relieved to see that some of the color in his cheeks had returned.
"Hey, bug. How are you feeling?"
John shrugged with a grimace. "Not great still, but I don't feel like barfing or shitting my brains out right now, so at least there's that."
Bucky raised a firm brow. "I'm really glad to hear that, but maybe let's not use that kind of language, hm? You know you're not allowed to swear when you're little."
"I'm not a baby, pop," John replied, rolling his eyes. "I'm fourteen. That's not exactly little."
Bucky gave him a fond but exasperated look. "But that doesn't make you grown up either though, now does it?"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," John muttered, rolling his eyes again.
Bucky just huffed a small laugh and shook his head, returning to filling Bob's bottle with Pedialyte.
"You need anything, angel face? Water? More Pedialyte?" Bucky asked as he screwed the nipple back onto the bottle.
Bucky looked up again just in time to see John's face go red.
"Um... would, um–would it be alright if I bunked with you t... tonight? Just–just 'cause my bed totally reeks of puke right now, you know? There's no way I'll be able to sleep with how sensitive my nose is." The teen's eyes were practically burning a hole into the floor as he spoke and stumbled over his words.
Bucky felt his eyes crinkle at the corners as a warm smile spread across his face. John was still learning how to ask for physical affection in headspace, especially when he was in an older headspace, and Bucky felt proud of him for finding the courage to ask. Even if he had to make an excuse for himself. Progress was progress.
"Yeah, course you can, ace." Bucky made his way around the island he'd been standing at and over to John, putting his free hand on the boy's shoulder and gently squeezing until he peered back up at him. "Would you be okay with your brother joining us, too?"
With Bob as little as he was, Bucky didn't feel comfortable leaving him alone in the nursery all night long.
John nodded. "Yeah, that's fine."
"Great! Have you brushed your teeth and washed your face yet?"
John groaned, head falling forward into Bucky's chest. "Do I gotta? Missing one night won't kill me."
Bucky quietly chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of John's head, slowly running his hand up and down his back.
"It won't take long, and you'll feel a lot better afterwards. Go on. Me and Bob will be waiting for you in my room, okay?"
"Uuuuugh, fine!"
John reluctantly pulled away from Bucky and turned on his heel, making his way towards the hallway that led to their bedrooms.
After John left, Bucky moved to the living room–where his youngest little boy was sitting in his playpen, already looking half asleep as he held his favorite grey and blue elephant plushy and matching blankie. As Bucky drew closer to the playpen, the all too familiar scent of dirty diaper filled his nose. God, he hoped it wasn't another blowout.
"Hey, sleepyhead," Bucky cooed, crouching down in front of the playpen.
Bob's eyes blinked open and found Bucky, mouth quirking into a tiny, sleepy smile.
"Pa-pa."
"Hi, mалыш. Are you ready for night-night? Hm?"
Bob just gurgled in response.
"Alright, come here, Robbie."
Bucky mentally cheered when he lifted Bob up and saw that the pink backside of his short-sleeved bunny onesie wasn't smeared in shit.
"But first, we've gotta change your stinky butt." Bucky laid an obnoxiously loud kiss on Bob's cheek, earning a little giggle from the baby.
Bucky carried Bob to the nursery and laid him down on the changing table there. He gently pried Bob's blankie out of his hand in exchange for the bottle of Pedialyte, throwing it over the rocking chair for the moment so there wasn't a chance of it getting dirty while he changed him. Bob was content to sip from the bottle while Bucky cleaned him up, heavy-lidded eyes trailing around the room with nothing holding his gaze for more than a few seconds at a time.
"There we go. All done!" Bucky said once he was finished, giving the baby's thighs a little pat before picking him back up.
He grabbed Bob's blankie and loosely wrapped it around the boy, then made his way out of the nursery and headed for his own room just a few doors down. When they arrived, John was already there in bed laying on Bucky's side, leaning back against the headboard with his arms crossed over his chest and a pout (which Bucky was sure he'd deny) on his face.
"You said you'd be waiting when I got done brushing my stupid teeth and washing my face."
Bucky shot him an apologetic smile, forcing himself not to laugh at the indignant expression on the teen's face.
"I'm sorry, lionheart. Your baby brother here needed a change before we could lie down," Bucky replied as he walked over to put Bob down inside the grey bassinet that was connected directly to his husband's side of the bed. "Did you grab Daisy?"
"Pop!"
Bucky didn't even need to look up to know John's face was probably beet red. He just continued to tuck Bob into the bassinet when he opened his mouth to speak again.
"You don't have to be embarrassed, bug. Plushies are for everybody. No matter how old you are."
John didn't respond, but when Bucky was done tucking Bob in and finally looked back up, the older boy was fiddling with the long beige ear of his stuffed bunny rabbit.
"Aw, любимый. Were you hiding her under the blankets?"
John pulled the bunny closer and slid down until his head was resting on Bucky's pillow, staring up at the ceiling with a blush still on his face.
"It's whatever. Sh–it's here now." He took a quick glance at Bucky before his gaze just as quickly returned to the ceiling above. "Can we just go to sleep now, pop? I'm exhausted."
"Okay, okay." Bucky held his hands up in mock surrender. "Yes, we can go to sleep."
Bucky turned off the lights and then crawled into bed and under the covers, laying his head down on his husband's pillow so he could have both of his boys on either side of him. As much as he wanted to pull John into his arms like he usually would when he was feeling younger and he slept with him, he forced his arms to stay at his sides. John would let him know in his own way if he wanted more physical contact than just lying in the same bed.
"Goodnight and sweet dreams, boys."
"Night, pop," John mumbled, sounding close to drifting off.
Bucky glanced over at Bob and saw that his baby was already knocked out. Soft almost incinerable sores escaped his parted lips, the half drunken bottle of Pedialyte clutched loosely in his left hand, while his right held onto the arm of his elephant. Knowing both of his boys were safe and sound beside him, Bucky let his own eyes shut.
Just as he was on the cusp of sleep, however, he became alert again when he felt John shifted closer and gently lifted his arm and slipped under. Bucky didn't move, letting John settle his head on his chest and put his limp arm around the teen's shoulders. He let himself smile though when he heard John exhale a quiet sigh of contentment and felt the boy relax against him.
Finally, after a hectic day filled with tears and other various bodily fluids, Bucky let himself sleep.