Work Text:
THE FIRST PARTY: MOUNTPORT MEDIEVAL ANACHRONISM SOCIETY
(978) 3010 1001
Yesterday 11:24
(978) 3010 1001: EGAD! THE MOUNTPORT U MEDIEVAL ANACHRONISM SOCIETY DOES HOST A PARTY THIS NIGHT!!!
(978) 3010 1001 : ENTRY REQUIREMENT: thine finest REGALIA or humble peasant garb
(978) 3010 1001 : NO DEADPOOL UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
(978) 3010 1001 : bringeth thine own drinks and a SPIRIT FOR GOOD HEARTED MERRIMENT! vittles and cheap beer shall be provided.
(978) 3010 1001 : where: 93 pelican drive
(978) 3010 1001 : when: 8 til late
-
Group Project Statistics 101
Yesterday 11:26
Kat : anyone get a text about a party tonight? from the medieval anachronism society?
Chris : yeah!
Barry : Wait let me check
Barry : ☝️I sure did!
Kat : do you guys know what their deal is?
Kat : are they cool?
Chris : i know a couple of people in it
Chris : they seem alright
Chris : why did u wanna go?
Kat : i was thinking about it, wanted to make sure they weren’t weird first
Barry : Because it’s a 50:50 chance they’ll take a knee, lift a broadsword and call you ‘m’lady’
Barry : read that last bit like you’re wearing a fedora
Kat : i mean… a little
Kat : they did use the word ‘egad’ though which makes me think they’re more whimsical
Chris : ooohhh whimsy
Chris : happy to come for a while
Chris : in case they’re weird
Barry : I can’t say I have a dedicated outfit but it looks like fun!
Chris : i can lend you something passable
Barry : @Kat will you have something to wear?
Kat : i can put something together
Kat : i’ve been to the ren faire back home before, i’ll figure something out
Chris : haha figure
Chris : math joke
Kat : 🙄
-
Vanessa (roommate, pre-med)
Yesterday 19:30
Kat : im going to be back late
Kat : going to the medieval society party
Vanessa (roommate, pre-med) : okay 👍
Vanessa (roommate, pre-med) : be safe
Kat : 🫡🫡🫡
-
Group Project Statistics 101
Yesterday 21:56
Chris : @Kat where are you?
Chris : wait @Kat @Barry where are you??
Barry : I’m in the kitchen, I don’t know where Kat is
Chris : last i saw her she was running with the hungry hungry hippos guy
Barry : Good to know, I’ll look out for her
Yesterday 22:30
Chris : @Kat wya?
Barry : was that you climbing out of the second storey window onto the roof?
Chris : @Kat
Chris : @Kat
Chris : @Kat
Yesterday 22:35
Kat : guys.
Kat : is there a word for opposite cockblocking
Kat : bc i nearly witnessed something that i wasn’t supposed to but they were both either so horny they forgot i was there or they were into it
Barry : What
Kat : i need a drink
-
Kat’s Phone > Internal Storage > Media > Gallery > Camera Roll
Yesterday, 22:50: [Image: A young man with pale skin and brown hair, wearing a sheet like a cloak, illuminated by camera flash. He is grinning and holding up a red party cup triumphantly. Behind him a white plastic folding table is lined with upside down cups.]
Yesterday, 22:55: [Image: A selfie of Kat and the young man with brown hair in the foreground, grinning. Behind them, a young woman with green streaks in her hair and elf ears is smiling broadly. Just behind her, a young black man in knight’s armour and a young white man dressed in wizard’s robes are high fiving.]
Today, 00:14: [Image: A picture of Kat, eyes intentionally wide and staring into the camera taken in a bathroom mirror. She’s wearing a yellow peasant shirt tied with a belt over a turtleneck and brown pants. The hand not holding the phone is giving a thumbs up. Text overlayed on the bottom of the image reads “bathrosm sefleieeeeeee 💖💛💛”]
-
joshj
Today: 01:27
kat! : BEANS BEANS BEANS BEANS
joshj : BEABS
kat! : beanssssss babbyyyyy
kat! : yayyy im so glad i got yourb numnber youre cool
-
Kat’s Phone > Internal Storage > Media > Gallery > Camera Roll
Today, 01:59: [Video, 40 seconds long:
The camera faces Kat at a low angle as if held out before her. Kat is backlit by a streetlight, barely visible due to shadows and multiple dim light sources. The camera is unsteady as she walks.
Kat (slurred): We’re walking baaaack!
Male voice (slurred, off camera): We’re walking backkkkkk! Wait check it out – I’m gonna –
Kat: Oh my god Josh, no!
Camera flips to show a small ditch dimly lit by a nearby streetlight. Josh, the young man with brown hair and a makeshift cloak, sways as he makes to jump over it.
Josh: Parkour!
Josh easily jumps the ditch but lands awkwardly and stumbles.
Kat (off camera): Nooooo, are you okay? Wait, wait, let me show you how it’s done –
The camera becomes shakier as Kat runs, jumps, and lands, before the camera flashes various shades of dark shades and falls into the grass
Kat (muffled, off camera): *incredulous, laughing* FUCK!
Josh (muffled, off camera): *raucous laughter* YOU THREW THE PHONE! *more wheezing laughter* Hang on! No, no, stay down, I’ve got it!
Muffled scuffling noises as the camera is picked up.
Josh: Whoa, still recording!]
-
joshj
Today 02:26
kat! : mad eit back tto my dorm
kat! : m bakc
kat! : *abcka
kat! : **BACK
kat! : asccidentaly wlaked in to 329
kat! : ith insk thans the abgdil froms tiktok wajs behrwe
kat! : noy my sdorm there wsa a girl
kat! : sh e wats sol cbute and so nsice hshhe toks mme bakc me
kat! : so iyts all hgois
-
joshj
Today 11:07
joshj : Oh my god last night was real
joshj : i thought i made it up
joshj : i really did steal those falcons
joshj : Yikes yikes yikes that means those guys making out then getting intimate was real
joshj : NOT THAT THEM BEING TOGETHER IS BAD
joshj : Good for them! but also i didn't need to see that with my human eyes
joshj : It not only felt like a private moment, but quickly BECAME a private moment
joshj : Oh my bad you're probably still asleep
Today 14:01
kat! : hi ho i just recovered
kat! : i should never do what we did ever again
kat! : stealing falcons. and drinking with the science majors
kat! : i can't remember what they had but it was WILD
joshj : You survived!! i was scared for a second because your last messages were a bit crazy
joshj : Do you remember what happened after the science majors let us have drinks??
kat! : i think so? it went climbing out ensuite bathroom window to escape falcon guys fucking, science majors saw us escaping, they gave us drinks, we played flip cup with them, we played uno, then we walked back to the dorms??
joshj : you forgot karaoke to EPIC after the geology majors crashed flip cup
kat! : hmmmm that's not ideal 😬
kat! : i thought we had the same amount of drinks?
joshj : Im a bit taller than you...
joshj : Maybe you have less of 'the nefarious elixir' next time?
kat! : fuck off (youre so right) (they called it that???)
kat! : at least i made it back to my dorm in one piece? i vaguely remember but my roommate vanessa says a girl dropped me off
kat! : i think i tried to get into someone else's room
kat! : not ideal 🫢
joshj : Oh yeah that isn't ideal for sure haha
joshj : But i'm glad you lived, katrina the carnivorous, person who i met last night!
Today 14:16
kat! : wow the name made it!!
kat! : i am so sorry but your name here is "joshj"
joshj : Oops
joshj : So close to joshk
joshj : Which would be accurate
kat! : joshk?
joshj : Josh King 👑
kat! : ooo very cool
kat! : im sorry to say josh that my name isnt 100% accurate
kat! : im not actually a true carnivore... im usually vegetarian
joshj : (gasp) The betrayal!
kat! : my last name is literally ‘meat’ in french it’s a family joke that im a vegetarian💀 💀 💀
joshj : You're going to be kat (fake carnivore) now
joshj : WHAT THAT’S SO FUNNY
kat! : noooooooooo 🙁
kat! : i swear i'm very carnivorous
kat! : it just requires a time and place
joshj : like the ren faire party house??
kat! : you’re sooooo close, it’s the medieval anachronism society party house
kat! : but you’re right
kat! : it's a different time and place
joshj : Roughly the 17th century
kat! : EXACTLY
kat! : i'm an entirely different person!
kat! : because i was katrina the carnivorous: aiding and abetting falcon theft, bloodthirsty, requiring meat based sustenance. not katrina viande: very good at math and not pillaging
joshj : Just like i'm josh king: legal studies hopeful and board game enthusiast, not josh king of games: falcon thief, under dressed and duelling novice
kat! : yeah!!!
joshj : I should be josh, king of games, more
kat! : or maybe he should be you?
joshj : Whoa
joshj : Yeah!
Edit contact : You changed joshj’s name to josh, king of games
kat! : was that you first time doing ren-faire adjacent activities?
kat! : i promise that people usually aren’t as hardcore as those two guys and there’s less running and climbing on roofs
josh, king of games : Yeah… wasn’t it obvious from the hippos?
kat! : the hungry, hungry hippos
josh, king of games : So so hungry
kat! : maybe just a little
kat! : and from the cloak we had to put on you
josh, king of games : I’m guessing that you’ve been to some then?
kat! : oh for sure!! it was one of the most exciting parts of the year from middle school up until the end of high school
kat! : i got indoctrinated by a friend in 6th grade and made my parents take after that
kat! : i guess i’ve passed if forward now
josh, king of games : Well I’m glad you inducted me
kat! : Me too
THE SECOND PARTY: HACKER PAD DISCO
josh, king of games
Oct 7 at 15:38
kat! : where are you???
josh, king of games : Over by the tree
josh, king of games : Simply HOW do you not see me???
kat! : i have no idea dude my brain is fried from mathematical tests 101
-
josh, king of games
Oct 15 at 18:00
josh, king of games : [surprised pikachu.jpg]
josh, king of games : Us when prairieville set our banner on fire
josh, king of games : "come to the game" you said
josh, king of games : "college cornhole is normal" you said
kat! : I DIDNT KNOW PRAIRIEVILLE WOULD BE FREAKY LIKE THAT
josh, king of games : Freaky as in ARSONISTS???
josh, king of games : I am so curious now though. what did *you* think it would be like?
kat! : in my defense i'm not a sports girl
kat! : and ive been living out of state in the middle of nowhere where my high school had like 800 people
kat! : i figured maybe some cheering and a mascot at most
kat! : *i* didnt know that the cornhole matches get intense
josh, king of games : “intense”??? they went CRAZY
-
josh, king of games
Oct 18 at 20:00
josh, king of games : Were we still up for pizza?
kat! : ✅✅✅
kat! : yes please!
kat! : got sucked into studying i'll be out in a minute
-
josh, king of games
Oct 20 at 13:22
josh, king of games : Don't look now, keep talking, act natural
josh, king of games : There's a girl on the other side of the dining hall who's been staring at you pretty intensely
kat! : really?? what does she look like???
josh, king of games : White, kind of auburn hair, funky cardigan, baseball cap, captivated expression
kat! : hmmmm no idea who that is
josh, king of games : Maybe if you saw her you'd know her?
kat! : i'm going to casually stand up and stretch and put something in the trash in 2 minutes, you tell me where she's sitting
josh, king of games : On your eight o'clock, round table with a guy in a mascot costume
kat! : ok ok im going
kat! : im going to pretend to get a text at the trash, let me know what she does when i walk over
josh, king of games : She 100% looked up and tried to be nonchalant
josh, king of games : Surely you've met her before, she's looking again now you're texting
kat! : IM SO CONFUSED
kat! : I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS
josh, king of games : Did you meet her at the anachronism party???
kat! : maybe??? genuinely no idea
josh, king of games : Wait come back her group is leaving
-
josh, king of games
Oct 25 at 20:38
kat! : josh
josh, king of games : kat
kat! : josh
kat! : did you hear about the party?
josh, king of games : ??
josh, king of games : party???
josh, king of games : Wait hold up hang on a second
josh, king of games : Do you mean the hacker party?????
kat! : hackers??? all i know is that the germans are throwing it
josh, king of games : so... the hackers then
josh, king of games : Because i only know of two germans who i saw in the quad saying loudly "we are hackers we like to hack"
kat! : hmmm
kat! : you might be right i dont remember any other germans so if you know german hackers they must be the germans
kat! : did you ever catch their names?
josh, king of games : I don't think so
josh, king of games : So where was the party? and when?
kat! : ocean avenue somewhere on halloween
kat! : starts at 6. laser show at 10.
josh, king of games : EPIC mentioned! ding ding ding!
josh, king of games : lasers???
kat! : stfu kharmington is hot and cool dont judge me >:(
kat! : also they named the song after the road in mountport ofc it’s going to come up in conversation
josh, king of games : Did you come to college in mountport because Every Place I Cry are from here??
kat! : i did grow up here before middle school, remember?
kat! : EPIC are just a fun extra
kat! : on top of everything being busier and getting out of my parents’ way
kat! : but yes! yes lasers!
josh, king of games : I do wonder… why lasers?
kat! : hackers
josh, king of games : fair
kat! : so
kat! : did you want to see the lasers?
kat! : are we going to the hacker party?
josh, king of games : Of course!
josh, king of games : The day someone asks and i don't want to see lasers (fun lasers for fun) i've either been taken hostage or am very very very sick
kat! : noted!!
-
josh, king of games
Oct 29 13:32
josh, king of games : Do hackers have a dress code??
josh, king of games : I don't want a repeat of last time
josh, king of games : the wandering in under dressed to trying to play hungry hungry hippos to stealing falcons pipeline is very real
kat! : hold on i think vanessa's going i'll ask her
kat! : halloween costume or casual clothes you can disco in apparently
josh, king of games : 👍👍👍
josh, king of games : We should go to Spirit Halloween
-
josh, king of games
Yesterday 15:24
josh, king of games : Are you walking over with me?
josh, king of games : I was going to leave at 5
kat! : vanessa is driving a friend from pre-med and she's offered to take me
kat! : she can probably grab you as well let me ask
kat! : you're coming with us now 🙂
josh, king of games : Wow! tell vanessa thank you for me
kat! : tell her yourself when we get you
kat! : she says to be at the back parking lot at 5.45
josh, king of games : [saluting cat.jpg]
josh, king of games : Yes chef
Yesterday 17:43
kat! : [car swerving.gif]
kat! : imminently converging on your location
kat! : if you're there
josh, king of games : I am
josh, king of games : I feel SO suspicious standing here in a cape doing nothing
josh, king of games : I *swear* i'm not a vampire or doing crimes
kat! : nothing to see here officer only a young man who has never seen a falcon in his life
josh, king of games : Okay 5.45 where are you
kat! : I SEE YOU
kat! : WHITE TOYOTA COROLLA
Yesterday 19:32
kat! : josh where are you
kat! : josh josh josh josh josh
kat! : i have your drink
kat! : [Image: Kat’s hand holding a red cup with yellow liquid in it.]
kat! : JOSH
josh, king of games : KAT I FOUND THE SCIENCE MAJORS
josh, king of games : MARY DUNCAN AND DONUTS
kat! : !!!
kat! : DUNKIN DONUTS
josh, king of games : Dunkin and donuts matched it’s very cute
kat! : my favourite science majors <3
josh, king of games : Bring my drink
josh, king of games : They want to see you
josh, king of games : They have 'the nefarious elixir' again
kat! : 👀👀👀 ELIXIR
kat! : count me in
Today 20:12
josh, king of games : [Video, 30 seconds long.
Kat, dressed in casual clothes with wolf ears and a tail: “Oh my god! Is that what I think it is?”
A young woman with green streaked hair hands her a small plastic cup with bright blue liquid in it. Two young men stand nearby with matching t-shirts, one reading Dunkin’ and the other Donuts.
Kat, turning to person behind camera: “Do I even drink this? It looks like antifreeze!”
Josh, behind camera: *Laughter* “I promise I’ll look after you if it’s bad.”
Dunkin shirt, in background: “It’s totally safe!”
Kat, laughing: “And not antifreeze, sure. Josh do you promise?”
Josh: “Yes! Of course!”
Kat: “Deal.”
Kat downs the cup, causing shocked laughter and whooping from nearby people.
Josh: “Oh my gosh!”
Kat, bent over, coughing and spluttering: “Holy – what is in this? How is it – stronger than last time?”]
Yesterday 22:30
kat! : [Image: Josh standing in dim light with a wide smile, the room behind illuminated with dim light emanating from blue and pink lasers.]
kat! : [Image: Selfie of Kat and Josh smiling with lasers in the background.]
josh, king of games : Lasers!
Yesterday 23:01
josh, king of games : Kat whats in a rachel speical
kat! : rosé and vodka
kat! : ?
josh, king of games : Wow
kat! : 👀?
kat! : what's happening? why are you texting me? where are you?
josh, king of games : Just in the bathroom
kat! : ??? pissing?
josh, king of games : For no reason
josh, king of games : Is rachel still there?
kat! : HAHAHAHAJHAHAHA
kat! : you scaredy cat
kat! : come backk she's nice
kat! : shes dressd like a werewofl like me adn she knows the hackers
josh, king of games : Don't judge me but i don't think i can
josh, king of games : Im getting starstruck or somethting
josh, king of games : Kat you don't understand
josh, king of games : Idk why but its like i've never said words in my life
kat! : what if i needed you out here
kat! : what if my sitauation is dire
josh, king of games : Is it dire?
kat! : well shes asking where you went
kat! : also she wants to start a game of charades but we only have three people :(
kat! : adn youre soooo good at games
kat! : one could say... the king of games
josh, king of games : Oh man i do like games so so much
josh, king of games : Im just feeling nervous i guess?
josh, king of games : She just came up and started talking to us and i just felt crazy anxious
kat! : josh
kat! : the medival anarchronsim society is run by the craizest dudes iv e ever seen
kat! : they were so horny and so hardcore and the hackers are very normal and understanding and rachel is with them adn seems normal
kat! : i have complete and toltal belief in you
kat! : and whta happens at the party stay sat the party
kat! : you're the king of games now
josh, king of games : Thank you kat 💙
kat! : you;re welcome <3
kat! : get out here already
-
josh, king of games
Today 01:17
josh, king of games : Kat
josh, king of games : Where are yoy
kat! : SMOKE MACNHINE
kat! : raus and klaus are hereee
kat! : they have tequila
kat! : adn they just shwoed me thier fursuits
kat! : abd looked at myteeth i thikn
kat! : teyre so fukcing cool thyre like wolevs
kat! : the lasexr set up is so cool
kat! : yuore so cool
kat! : im s o glas we're friends
josh, king of games : Youre alslo so cool!
josh, king of games : Adn guess what
josh, king of games : I got racehls's phone number
kat! : WHOAHAH
josh, king of games : I love making new friends
josh, king of games : Are we walking back to tge dorms?
kat! : yesss
Today: 01:59
kat! : josh
kat! : did youm ake it
kat! : are you b
kat! : ack
josh, king of games : Im walking still
kat! : smoneone should bewalking wit hyou :(
kat! : we shoud have stayed with raus and klaus like rachel did
josh, king of games : IM BACK
josh, king of games : I MADE IT
kat! : yayyy
kat! : drikn water
kat! : sleep welllllllllllll
kat! : ill texst you when im awake
Today 09:30
josh, king of games : Kat did you live
josh, king of games : I feel terrible and I think I agreed to have lunch with Rachel
kat! : OH HO HO
kat! : good luck and godspeed
THE THIRD PARTY: DARTANIO’S BIRTHDAY
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Nov 1 at 10:04
Katrina Viande was added to the group
Josh King was added to the group
Katrina Viande’s name was changed to karnivore
Josh King’s name was changed to game boy 🎲
game boy 🎲 : What
game boy 🎲 : Why is my name like this??
game boy 🎲 : and why can’t I change it???
karnivore : idk im not that bothered
Putting the Tech in Disco : you like board games? Yes?
game boy 🎲 : Yes…
Putting the Tech in Disco : see? accurate
Rachel 💻 : I thought it was funny 😌
Putting the Disco in Tech : So do i
game boy 🎲 : Well I guess I’m game boy now
karnivore : attaboy
karnivore : also raus and klaus?? who’s who??
Putting the Tech in Disco : i’m raus
Putting the Disco in Tech : I’m Klaus
karnivore : right. understood
game boy 🎲 : I’m flattered but can someone tell me why I’m in here?
Putting the Disco in Tech : We saw you from across the party and we liked your vibe
Rachel 💻 : Wild opening sentence
Rachel 💻 : Truly what a choice
Putting the Tech in Disco : well we really liked kat more
Putting the Tech in Disco : and you two seem to be a bonded pair of cats type situation
karnivore : oop
game boy 🎲 : 😐
game boy 🎲 : Wow thanks
-
josh, king of games
Nov 9 at 12:42
kat! : [Image: Crate filled with orange pumpkins.]
kat! : how many did you want?
josh, king of games : That’s a good question
josh, king of games : How much is the whole crate?
kat! : well it’s $4 for these cheap ones and judging by how many are in here that’s going to be in the ballpark of $200 💸💸💸
kat! : but they’re also doing a ‘halloween’s over!! massive total wipeout clearance sale!!!’ and i think i’d need to ask about that
kat! : how many do we realistically need to get?
josh, king of games : Well
josh, king of games : We could make the pyramid hollow? Impale them on some kind of stake?
kat! : a hollow pyramid 😔
josh, king of games : A tragedy really…
Nov 9 at 12:58
kat! : josh
kat! : this is your fault for not coming with me
josh, king of games : ????????????
kat! : i made a deal
kat! : unrelated question can Rachel drive?
kat! : i can but i don’t have a car
josh, king of games : Let me ask, give me a minute
kat! : [mr bean waiting.jpg] this is me right now
Nov 9 13:02
josh, king of games : Confirmed, Rachel can drive
kat! : how soon do you think you can get out here?
kat! : and would you rather ask for permission or forgiveness?
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Nov 10 at 16:27
Rachel 💻 : [Image: Josh and Kat grinning and standing with their hands behind their backs. In the background a ten foot tall pyramid structure made of pumpkins.]
Putting the Disco in Tech : It really is beautiful
karnivore : i can’t believe we had to ditch the forklift
game boy 🎲 : Well we couldn’t really get it to stop
Putting the Tech in Disco : nein that drainage canal has been empty for a while
Putting the Tech in Disco : it needed a forklift in it
-
josh, king of games
Nov 16 at 17:50
josh, king of games : Kat
josh, king of games : This is actually so important
josh, king of games : Do you remember the girl who was staring at you from across the dining hall?
josh, king of games : From a few months ago
kat! : yes??
josh, king of games : WELL
josh, king of games : I was with Rachel
kat! : 👀
josh, king of games : And she says ‘I have to stop by my dorm and grab something’
kat! : mmm yes a likely story
josh, king of games : I say yeah sure that’s fine by me
josh, king of games : So we drop by and Rachel says ‘oh Josh, have you met my roommate yet?’
josh, king of games : And I say no never in my life, you strategically made sure she wasn’t here before you brought me over the last six times I’ve been here and we sat and watched boring TV and you stared at me the whole time
kat! : hold up
kat! : joshua
kat! : you’re not this oblivious. six times? have you considered she’s waiting for you to make a move??
josh, king of games : That’s not important right now
josh, king of games : And she says ‘well this is my roommate Janice’
josh, king of games : AND IT’S THE DINING HALL GIRL
kat! : DINING HALL GIRL IS RACHEL’S ROOMMATE?!?!?!!
kat! : ok ok ok
kat! : that’s
kat! : well
josh, king of games : Yes
kat! : i hate to say it but this still kind of means nothing to me
kat! : because i still have basically no idea who she is
josh, king of games : Uhhhhh
josh, king of games : Kat
kat! : 😶
josh, king of games : One: please do an internet search for Janice Wood
josh, king of games : Two: Janice shakes my hand and asks ‘you’ve got a best friend right?’ to which i say ‘hmm yes? why?’
josh, king of games : And she says ‘I took your friend back to her dorm because she was drunk and tried to get into our room back in september’
kat! : NO
kat! : SHIT
kat! : FUCK
kat! : I FORGOT THAT HAPPENED
kat! : AND YOU’RE TELLING ME IT WAS JANICE FUCKING ‘GOOD WITH WOOD’ WHO HAD TO ESCORT ME BACK??!?!
josh, king of games : Yep 🙂
kat! : [dog accepting fate.jpg]
kat! : that is so incredibly less than ideal
josh, king of games : I’m surprised neither of us recognised her
kat! : well to be fair we’ve probably seen more of her hands or her biceps or her abs
kat! : and in her videos she’s dressed a lot more like a fuck boy but she was wearing that cute cardigan and she looked nothing like good with wood????
kat! : josh this is not good for me. how tf do you look your friend’s girlfriend’s roommate in the eyes and not broadcast that you’re an avid consumer of their barely veiled thirst trap woodcutting content???
josh, king of games : 💫Believe in yourself💫
josh, king of games : Wait friend’s girlfriend??
josh, king of games : Rachel isn’t my girlfriend Kat
kat! : …yet
kat! : we absolutely need to talk about that
-
(978) 4558 4775, Joshua King, Katrina Viande
Nov 18 at 18:36
(978) 4558 4775 : Falcon thieves
(978) 4558 4775 : Your telephone numbers were difficult to acquire
(978) 4558 4775 : Doth you and your respective accessory render services under contract?
Nov 18 at 18:50
Katrina Viande : who is this???
Joshua King : Also who is whose respective accessory??
(978) 4558 4775 : This is Lorenzo hailing from the Mountport University Medieval Anachronism Society
Katrina Viande : ahhhh right
Joshua King : Ohhhhhhh from that one time I stole your falcons and you chased me and threatened me to a duel but instead got sexual with the other guy
Joshua King : I do genuinely wonder whether you simply didn’t care that Kat and I were in the room or if you forgot we were there
Katrina Viande : what did you mean by services?
(978) 4558 4775 : Thievery, treachery, sneaking
(978) 4558 4775 : Dartanio’s birthday approaches in three dawns’ time and we have lost custody of Spencer and Aardvark.
(978) 4558 4775 : You two brigands have proved capable of locating them before and I believe you would be capable of doing so again.
(978) 4558 4775 : Dartanio’s celebration has been scheduled at the Mountport Zoo’s Rumble in the Jungle bar between 7 and 10:30pm. Spencer and Aardvark will be in the aviary. Between the start and the end of the event you will need to free them. You will be allowed to come to the party in exchange for liberating Spencer and Aardvark and delivering them posthaste to me.
Joshua King : Are you actually allowed to have spencer and aardvark?
Katrina Viande : genuinely, who are you guys?
(978) 4558 4775 : Give me no more Queries, simply answer me thus:
(978) 4558 4775 : Can you do it?
Joshua King : Hold up, give us a minute to deliberate
Nov 18 at 18:58
Joshua King : We’ll do it!
Katrina Viande : however we have one condition
Katrina Viande : and the provision of us with a bottle of spirits
Joshua King : Make that two conditions 😎
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Nov 18 at 19:03
karnivore : i hope no one had plans for the 21st
karnivore : because we have all been cordially invited to dartanio’s birthday at the mountport zoo’s rumble in the jungle bar!!! event starts there at 7 and ends at 10.30pm when the zoo bar closes
karnivore : 🎉🎉🎉
Putting the Disco in Tech : Eine party! That is a yes from me
Putting the Tech in Disco : from me as well!
karnivore : i’ve said it before but you two genuinely might need to change your names on here they are indecipherable from each other
karnivore : i have no idea who said yes first
Putting the Disco in Tech’s name was changed to klAUUUs! 🐺
Putting the Tech in Disco’s name was changed to rAUUUs! 🐺
Rachel 💻 : Hmm sounds like it could be fun! @game boy 🎲 what do you think?
game boy 🎲 : Technically kat and I have gotten you all in because we’re going to be there on work
game boy 🎲 : However I do like going to parties, and I *really* like the zoo, so I’m excited
Rachel 💻 : What exactly do you mean by work?
game boy 🎲 : Nothing to worry about at all
karnivore : nothing at all!!!
game boy 🎲 : Nothing at all ☺️
rAUUUs! 🐺 : ^^^ this is a lie
game boy 🎲 : Nothing like doing a falcon heist on the zoo or anything like that at all!!!
game boy 🎲 : We may need your hacking expertise
game boy 🎲 : And/or your car…
game boy 🎲 : Also do you know anyone with tools?
Rachel 💻 : You know what? I’m going to plus one Janice in on this
game boy 🎲 : OH?
Rachel 💻 : She doesn’t have wood carving workshop Friday night and she has access to tools
Rachel 💻 : Also I think you all would really like her!
rAUUUs! 🐺 : i have met Janice, and i could agree she is ja, nice :)
game boy 🎲 : I couldn’t agree more, that is such a wonderful idea!
game boy 🎲 : Kat have you ever met Janice???
karnivore : during the heist im going to push you into the seal exhibit and you’ll have only fish frozen into ice cubes for enrichment and nutrition for the rest of your life
klAUUUs! 🐺 : ???
Rachel 💻 : ???
karnivore : Ha Ha! No Reason At All 😀
-
josh, king of games
Nov 18 at 19:08
kat! : JOSHUA
kat! : you’re exposing me as a thirsty sapphic in the group chat
josh, king of games : It’s always a little scary when you use my full name like that
josh, king of games : But you’ll be fine! I know you well enough and have met Janice briefly like seven times, which is enough to know that when you meet her properly you won’t be a freak about it 💙
josh, king of games : Even if you have seen her wood cutting thirst traps
kat! : besides we’ll probably be busy heisting
josh, king of games : Yeah! SO busy!
kat! : yeah!
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Yesterday 18:25
Janice Wood was added to the group
Janice Wood’s name was changed to jwood
Rachel 💻 : For ease of communication!
Rachel 💻 : Everyone say hi to Janice and be nice okay?
Rachel 💻 : @game boy 🎲@karnivore would you two like to TLDR your plan so we can help out?
Rachel 💻 : And FYI we’ll be ready to go in 10, go to the back parking lot or raus and klaus’s hacker pad if you want a ride
game boy 🎲 : Hi ho Janice!
rAUUUs! 🐺 : hallo janice!!
klAUUUs! 🐺 : Hi!
karnivore : hello!
jwood : Hi 👋
karnivore : the plan so far: get in, get the falcons, get out
game boy 🎲 : It’s a bit more involved than that, you did a lot of planning Kat
karnivore : well
rAUUUs! 🐺 : oop here we go
karnivore : getting in is the easy part because we’ve been invited to the party at the jungle bar which gets us onto the zoo premises. then thanks to raus and klaus i’ve got a heatmap of the security camera network and the quickest route to the keeper’s building, which we can put our first disguises on and go to
karnivore : there we’ll be able to put on our second disguises and borrow uniforms from the intern zookeeping program. there we should also find master keys to the enclosures, and if we don’t i bought a lock picking set three days ago
karnivore : then it’s as simple as getting to the falcons, letting them out, then doing what we did in reverse – returning the keys and uniforms before coming back to the party in disguise 1
jwood : Wow you really did your research!
karnivore : oh! it was nothing really!!
game boy 🎲 : No no she had a conspiracy board out and was practising with the lockpicks for hours yesterday
klAUUUs! 🐺 : Die conspirerrrrrrr
Rachel 💻 : Ok ready to leave! Josh and Kat you’d better be in the lot or with Raus and Klaus
game boy 🎲 : No need actually! We’re already at the zoo
karnivore : arranging where to entice falcons to with lorenzo as the piece de resistance to his gift for dartanio
game boy 🎲 : It’s both more and less graphic than I imagined
game boy 🎲 : Lots of olive oil involved apparently 🤫
jwood : Who are these people?
game boy 🎲 : Anything I try to describe will never live up to witnessing them in person
game boy 🎲 : I am *so* glad Kat is doing all the talking ☺️
Yesterday 18:50
Rachel 💻 : I’m parked at the back of the lot near the road, Janice is parked next to us
karnivore : 👍
Rachel 💻 : Do we just come inside or do we have to come a certain way?
game boy 🎲 : Hold up Kat and I will come get you
game boy 🎲 : Just come to the entrance
-
josh, king of games
Yesterday 19:42
kat! : It might be time
josh, king of games : Operation falcon 2 is go?
kat! : affirmative
josh, king of games : And this has nothing to do with Rachel wandering away and leaving you by yourself in a conversation with Janice?
kat! : nope
kat! : nothing at all
josh, king of games : Sure
josh, king of games : I saw the panic when she laughed and leaned into your personal space just a little
josh, king of games : I’ve gotta give it to you, you’ve been justifiably Not A Freak while interacting with her apart from the yearning in your eyes
kat! : JOSH
kat! : stop texting we have heisting to do!!!
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Yesterday 19:46
rAUUUs! 🐺 : [Image: A blurry picture taken through a window of two figures in hi-vis vests walking down a path lit by lampposts.]
klAUUUs! 🐺 : [awkward look monkey puppet meme.jpg]
klAUUUs! 🐺 : Not suspicious at all!
Yesterday 20:36
karnivore : FUCK
jwood : ?
rAUUUs! 🐺 : ????????????
Rachel 💻 : UMM @karnivore @ game boy 🎲 what’s going on?
karnivore : WE DIDN’T DECIDE ON APANIC PHRASE
karnivore : GIRAFFE OUT
jwood : Out??
karnivore : [Voice message:
Kat, whispering: “Ok ok so we made it to the falcon enclosure and I managed to pick the lock and we got inside, which was fine, and I called Spencer and Aardvark and we got them out of the door but then there was this noise, right? So I look around and the giraffe is walking around! Out! Like not in an enclosure, out, as in standing around on the paths, out!
I point this out to Josh and then we’re just standing here looking at it before SOMEONE sneezed and the giraffe startled and Josh flailed and the door to the falcon enclosure shut and now I’m locked inside. Josh is trying to avoid getting in the way of the giraffe and I think I saw a security guard and they’re not going to be fucking happy when they find us!”]
Yesterday 20:39
rAUUUs! 🐺 : oh nein
Rachel 💻 : Well shit
Rachel 💻 : I’m going to send Janice your way
karnivore : please
karnivore : i needed another drink of secret liquor yesterday but josh can’t pick locks and i can’t reach through the mesh to get myself out
karnivore : if she can swing by the keeper’s office we stashed our hi-vis vests out there
jwood : Don’t worry about that I’ve got my own
Yesterday 20:45
game boy 🎲 : [Image: A grainy zoomed in picture taken of the path in the zoo lined with lamp posts. Emerging from the darkness down the path is a giraffe with a flamingo on its back, and a platypus on the flamingo’s back. The image has the overlayed text “WTF WTF WTF THIS IS SO SCARY”]
game boy 🎲 : I’m going back to the falcon enclosure but I need everyone to know they just disappeared away into the zoo and I’m so scared right now because those animals are out there somewhere
game boy 🎲 : Animals don’t stack like that they’re clearly superintelligent
game boy 🎲 : I feel like they’re going to ask me their riddles three
game boy 🎲 : This must be what it feels like to be in five nights at freddy’s
karnivore : janice is here and has tools that can be used as weapons
game boy 🎲 : Oh thank fuck
Yesterday 20:58
game boy 🎲 : [Image: Josh’s grinning face in the foreground taking up the bottom right corner of the image. Behind him in the midground, Janice is wearing hi-vis and knelt down to work on the locking mechanism for the door to an aviary, an open toolbox on the ground next to her. Behind the door and the mesh of the aviary, Kat is frowning and flipping off the camera.]
klAUUUs! 🐺 : [crying while laughing.jpg]
-
josh, king of games
Yesterday 22:36
josh, king of games : Going in Janice’s car huh?
josh, king of games : Taking all of our secret alcohol with you 😒
kat! : don’t start now i literally gave you your own bottle
kat! : raus and klaus are here too, you’re the one alone in a car with rachel 😏
josh, king of games : I know that Katrina that’s why I’m panic texting you
josh, king of games : She’s put her hand on my knee and she’s slowly moving higher and I’m pretending to get the directions to the discotheque on google maps
kat! : WHOA THERE
kat! : you didn’t pick up her hints hard enough when you’ve been hanging out and now she;s laying moves on you dude
kat! : stop making excuses by texting me and playing hard to get with google maps
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Yesterday 23:14
klAUUUs! 🐺 : Suck it losers!!!!!
klAUUUs! 🐺 : [Image: ‘Highest tower’ leaderboard chalkboard with a sketch of a jenga tower at the bottom with ‘kat + the furries’ in the number 1 spot.]
rAUUUs! 🐺 : posting it to the gc for posterity 😎
game boy 🎲 : That’s so unfiar WE HPELED BUILD IT
karnivore : btut we werent idioits adn didnt knokc it down did we?
game boy 🎲 : Discotechs aren’t supposed to have jenga anyyway
Yesterday 23:47
klAUUUs! 🐺 : [Image (+8 more…): A blurry picture of people dancing. Kat is mid jump with her hands in the air, eyes closed and mid yelling something. Josh and Rachel are standing together in the background, hands intertwined.]
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Today 00:48
Rachel 💻 : [Image: Selfie of Janice and Rachel standing shoulder to shoulder in a parking lot. A few feet behind them Raus is squinting and doing a peace sign. Even further back Josh is halfway through doing a flamingo pose and Kat and Klaus are bent over with laughter.]
jwood : Designated driver gang! 🙌🚙🚗
Rachel 💻 : Co-captains of the clown brigade more like
-
josh, king of games
Today 00:50
kat! : joshj
kat! : josj did you sgte home aosky?
kat! : fukcm did uou get hom e okay?
kat! : JOSHJ
kat! : JOSH
kat! : JOSK
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Today 00:54
karnivore : thahats so wroing were not clowsns
karnivore : aslo @rcahel did josh get back ok?
jwood : Why do you have your phone?
jwood : I just put it on charge for you on your desk
jwood : It’s got like 6% left and you should be sleeping
karnivore : ooooop my bda
karnivore : i jiust watnted to know id jodh got to mhism droms ok
Rachel 💻 : Yeah he got back ok, I made sure of it
karnivore : area you sure
Rachel 💻 : Yep! 100% sure, don’t worry
Rachel 💻 : He’ll text you in the morning, you should go to sleep
jwood : And don’t forget to put your phone back on charge Kat
karnivore : okayyy just bceuase you askjed
karnivore : ggoosnight evyreone <3 <3
Rachel 💻 : Goodnight!
jwood : Sleep well Kat :)
rAUUUs! 🐺 : gute nacht katze!
klAUUUs! 🐺 : ^^^
Today 10:03
game boy 🎲 : Goodnight Kat from 1am
game boy 🎲 : Can confirm I am alive and well and made it back last night 👍
-
josh, king of games
Today 10:04
josh, king of games : How’s your head?
josh, king of games : And how sapphic was it when Janice was making sure you got into your dorm room ok last night?
kat! : my head feels like this
kat! : [tom from tom and jerry getting hit in head by frying pan.gif]
kat! : and she was perfectly respectful
josh, king of games : Soooooo very sapphic then
josh, king of games : And don’t you dare claim that she was just being nice and she’s probably just straight because you’ve showed me a video of her splitting wood while draped with a lesbian flag
kat! : there was never any doubt of the lesbianism
kat! : BUT SHE COULD STILL JUST BE BEING NICE
kat! : as far as she knows im just a random girl who got drunk and mixed our rooms up one time
kat! : she doesn’t know that i know about her thirst trap content and i want to get to know her properly without that setting an unrealistic precedent
josh, king of games : I was going to be a clown and tell you it’s a skill issue and you should broadcast it more but that’s actually pretty respectful of you. You might want to mention seeing her on the internet though.
josh, king of games : You know. open communication and all that 😊
kat! : i think im taking that one to the grave
josh, king of games : Booooooooo coward!!
kat! : HEY!!! big talk from you, mr ‘rachel drove me and took me back to my dorm and put me to bed and accounted for my presence’ for me!
kat! : i thought we agreed to text each other to make sure we get back ok? what were you doing huh?
josh, king of games : Well
josh, king of games : Give me a second actually
josh, king of games : [Voice message:
Rachel: “In his defence, he was a bit distracted.”]
THE FOURTH PARTY: NEW YEAR’S EVE
Janice Wood
Nov 26 at 11:00
Janice Wood : Hi ho
Janice Wood : How were you after the party?
Nov 26 at 11:32
Kat : oh, hi ho!
Edit contact : You changed Janice Wood’s name to Janice🌳
Kat : im alright, i think i shouldn’t have had any of the tequila though
Kat : sorry that you had to deal with me!
Kat : and that other time when i tried to get into your dorm room😅
Janice🌳: No problem really!
Janice🌳: You’re quite an amicable drunk, just don’t make a habit of trying to kick down me and Rachel’s door!
Kat : haha no promises!
Kat : i not sure i caught it at the party, but what’s your major?
Janice🌳: Haha I did explain at the party just before you went out heisting
Kat : yikes 😬 not a good look for me i am so sorry
Kat : i promise i usually pay more attention to what people say to me!
Janice🌳: I guess I’ll have to talk about myself again, oh noo……. what a shame…. ;)
Janice🌳: I’m not really majoring, I’m part of Mountport’s associated trade school, I’m doing woodworking
Kat : oh the richard richmond school of trade!
Kat : i did wonder why i hadn’t really seen you around
Janice🌳: They hide us in those sketchy buildings from the 1970s at the back of campus…
Janice🌳: Also we have a lot of shop classes that pretty much run all day so I don’t always get out until later
Janice🌳: I could probably skip some of them since I have prior experience but I love being inside the wood shop
Janice🌳: And I need the formal accreditation :’)
Kat : aww that’s a shame you can’t get out to have lunch like the rest of us, usually josh and i run into the others pretty often
Kat : the wood working sounds cool though!!
Janice🌳: And you’re majoring in math, right?
Kat : well I’m undeclared right now but the plan is to major in actuarial science
Kat : which is just complicated and fancy math
Janice🌳: Wow you must be super smart then!
Kat : thank you!
Kat : it helps that i really like math but it’s going to need a lot of practise and studying
-
josh, king of games
Nov 26 at 11:04
kat! : josh
kat! : josh she’s texting me
josh, king of games : Janice?
josh, king of games : It’s ok I have full faith in your ability to text her normally 👍😃👍
kat! : well it’s actually going really normally!! almost too normally
kat! : it’s running like icebreakers on the first day of class
josh, king of games : You want to get to know her right? This could be that awkward phase where you have to get to know each other like human beings
josh, king of games : Like how Rachel and I had lunch that first time
josh, king of games : And she made me speak about legal practise for an hour <3
kat! : urgh you two are sickening
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Nov 30 at 10:02
jwood : What time do you guys usually get lunch?
Rachel 💻 : My morning comp sci classes get out around 11:30
rAUUUs! 🐺 : similar for klaus and i
game boy 🎲 : I’ve got a few hours after 11 and Kat has class until 12
jwood : 👍👍👍
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Dec 1 at 12:34
Rachel 💻 : [Image: Janice Wood winking and smiling and sat at a cafeteria dining table, dressed in a bright red Richmond Trade School (@MU) hoodie and a beanie.]
Rachel 💻 : She’s free until 1pm
klAUUUs! 🐺 : Janice is at lunch!
karnivore : janice is at lunch!!
game boy 🎲 : Red alert: Janice is at lunch!
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Dec 4 at 18:02
jwood : My friend is hosting a New Years party! It’s not open invite but you’re all welcome if you’d like to come
Rachel 💻 : Ooooh is it the friend I think it is?
jwood : Yes 🤫
Rachel 💻 : Good to know!
Rachel 💻 : Everyone’s probably going to want to go to the party then
karnivore : 👀 👀 👀
karnivore : intriguing
game boy 🎲 : May we know whomst?
jwood : Be cool about it
jwood : It’s the King of England
klAUUUs! 🐺 : [sarcastically surprised captain kirk.jpg]
game boy 🎲 : Well now we simply HAVE to go
-
Janice🌳
Dec 9 at 15:18
Janice🌳: I heard you’re third wheeling Josh and Rachel taking Josh’s sibling's campervan to go make s’mores and camp at the lake on Friday night?
Kat : yep!
Kat : i can’t wait to accidentally burn my hot dog alternative while they stare into each other’s eyes and wish i wasn’t there😊
Kat : i do genuinely think it will be fun though, finals are kicking my ass
Janice🌳: Haha well something something misery and company?
Janice🌳: Rachel wanted me to come along too, I hope that’s okay
Kat : yeah!! i have no issues with you coming
Kat : technically it’s their date and i don’t know why im invited, but if josh gets to drag me along then rachel can bring you!
Kat : i think it’s because i can drive and josh is paranoid in case rachel gets injured
Kat : besides, you know about trees and the forest around mountport right?
Janice🌳: I do! I collect lots of the wood for my projects from local areas
Janice🌳: There’s nothing more satisfying than successfully making something from a tree you cut down yourself
Kat : you actually cut the trees yourself!!!!
Kat : that’s a lot of effort you put in!
Kat : don’t take this the wrong way lol
Janice🌳: I’ll take it any way you like
Kat : but you must be pretty strong to be cutting down trees on the regular and hauling logs around
Janice🌳: Haha it is the best work out!
Janice🌳: And it means I can do things like this!
Janice🌳: [Image: Janice wearing a cap, singlet, shorts and bandana and holding a sizable log over her head with both hands.]
Kat : WHOA
Janice🌳: Pretty cool huh?
Kat : yeah that’s one word for it
Kat : i was going to ask what projects you had going on right now but that’s one of the most impressive things i’ve ever seen
Janice🌳: Haha fuck my inlaid table then I guess?
Kat : no!
Janice🌳: Haha consider me flattered :)
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Dec 12 at 16:27
karnivore : if we go missing in the forest tomorrow this was our planned camping location:
karnivore : [Link:📍Pine Lake North Campground, Mountport State Park, Mountport, MA]
Rachel 💻 : On the state park side, not the private land owned side!
game boy 🎲 : The lake monster is totally going to eat us
game boy 🎲 : It’s up to you to solve the mystery Raus and Klaus
klAUUUs! 🐺 : We will avenge your sudden and unexplainable disappearances 🕵️♂️
Rachel 💻 : I don’t know about lake monsters but kids used to talk about the Lady of the Lake
Rachel 💻 : And as far as I can tell that’s based on a theoretical drowning in Mountport’s colonial history
game boy 🎲 : I thought it was because the men were cutting down the forest to build houses so the tree roots grew into her brain and she walked into the lake, drowned, and lured the men to their deaths?
game boy 🎲 : She got revenge because it was *strongly* implied her ‘husband’ was holding her against her will? She sided with the trees and killed them?
game boy 🎲 : Strong mother nature/feminism themes
karnivore : wtf that’s so scary??
karnivore : the trees growing into her brain bit
Rachel 💻 : What version of this myth did you read???
game boy 🎲 : Idk it was on a handout I had to analyse in 9th grade
game boy 🎲 : I remember because there was some symbolism because the houses were built with hemlock and hemlock is a sign of misfortune
karnivore : that’s wild dude
jwood : And the myth is a little accurate! Tsuga canadensis or the Eastern Hemlock is native to the Mountport state park and hemlock wood is naturally moisture resistant! It makes it a good choice for making saunas, outdoor seating or decorative features in high moisture environments like buildings next to lakes
karnivore : any documented cases of it growing into people’s brains and possessing them???
jwood : Not as far as I’m aware!
rAUUUs! 🐺 : reassuring!
-
RACHEL!!! 😎
Dec 13 at 17:57
RACHEL!!! 😎 : Hey where are you and Josh?
RACHEL!!! 😎 : When I called his phone I found it in the front of the van
kat! : rachel! silly question, but were we at the north or south campground?
RACHEL!!! 😎 : North? Where are you two??
kat! : well
kat! : we followed the path back from the outhouse and saw the pier
kat! : we also saw the boat tied up to the pier
RACHEL!!! 😎 : Oh no
kat! : long story short the boat was not watertight, we’ve climbed through poison ivy and we’re not at the campsite
RACHEL!!! 😎 : This makes me feel good about the encrypted tracking software I secretly put on you and Josh’s phones
kat! : sorry we have tracking software on here??
RACHEL!!! 😎 : Also for your information Janice is staring at me like I told her you were in the Alaskan wilderness face to face with a bear
RACHEL!!! 😎 : Apparently you’re five miles away
kat! : 🙂sorry what?
kat! : miles???
kat! : josh wants you to know that we’ve been walking for ten minutes down the road and we weren’t out on the boat for that long
RACHEL!!! 😎 : Tell him thank you and that it’s been a lot longer
RACHEL!!! 😎 : Sit tight we’re going to come get you
kat! : please and thank you so much 🫶🫶🫶
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Dec 13 at 23:03
game boy 🎲 : Don’t take unattended boats that don’t belong to you because they *will* sink and you will have to crawl through poison oak to get to shore
game boy 🎲 : And you will be covered in mud and water and poison oak and when your benevolent friends come to rescue you, you will have to strip awkwardly behind the van door and put your clothes into trash bags so no one else gets poison oak on them
klAUUUs! 🐺 : Huchhhhh oh nein 😂
game boy 🎲 : And then you will have to wash your face and hands and neck just so many times before you get to wear your spare clothes
game boy 🎲 : Or clothes borrowed from other people because you didn’t bring a spare change (cough cough Kat)
jwood : [Image: Josh and Kat illuminated by phone flash standing by the side of a road, clothes visibly wet and covered in mud.]
jwood : [Image: Rachel, Josh and Kat on camp chairs around a campground fire pit. Josh is smiling and has cooking utensils. Rachel is smiling and sitting next to him holding a stick with marshmallows. Kat is curled up on a camping chair set back from the fire, wearing a red hoodie emblazoned with Richmond Trade School (@MU) and sweatpants.]
jwood : Kat’s dizzy and sleepy :(
game boy 🎲 : Moment of silence for Kat who got taken out by the Benadryl and doesn’t even get to enjoy her not-dogs, marshmallows, or Janice’s comfy comfy hoodie
rAUUUs! 🐺 : 🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️
Rachel 💻 : Moment of triumph for Janice having a well-stocked first aid kit?
rAUUUs! 🐺 : 🏆
klAUUUs! 🐺 : 🏆
-
josh, king of games
Dec 17 at 19:35
kat! : how were you during finals today?
josh, king of games : So so itchy
josh, king of games : I think the last time I had a rash like this I was a child so I forgot how insanely itchy I am right now
kat! : same here
kat! : it doesn’t help that everyone is looking at us like we’re crazy because of the rash and the powder pink lotion all over us 😭😭😭
josh, king of games : Oh for sure I do look crazy right now
kat! : would you do it again though?
josh, king of games : Well. Yes. Would you?
kat! : maybe with less reckless abandon. but absolutely
kat! : it was fun up until we started sinking, which makes it worth it
josh, king of games : Do not go to these lengths just for this to happen but I do feel like I need to tell you that Janice carried you to your bunk after you conked out from the Benadryl
kat! : OH
kat! : OH MY GOD
kat! : OKAY
josh, king of games : Something to think about on the drive back across the state and then the other state 😀
kat! : i don’t know what im going to do away from you and everyone else for 11 days
kat! : i’ve seen you basically every day since september
josh, king of games : I’m going to miss you Kat
josh, king of games : Even if it’s just going to be 11 days
josh, king of games : Text Janice if you’re bored 🤠
kat! : aughhhghhghghhgh remember how i wanted to get to know her a bit first? she’s not like a celebrity to me anymore but she’s still just… awestriking
kat! : but i still don’t feel like i know her?
kat! : does that mean anything???
josh, king of games : Probably? I don’t know if there’s a right answer apart from that you met her recently, you’re trying to get to know her and you also still think she’s hot
josh, king of games : I don’t know if that has to mean anything more than that you’re figuring it out
kat! : not sure that was the answer i wanted but i’ll take it
kat! : i just want everything to click, you know? kind of like we met and were instant best friends
kat! : or like how you and rachel just meshed so easily
josh, king of games : Well we didn’t actually
josh, king of games : Rachel means so much to me and I want to know her and understand her and figure her out but she’s usually kind of a mystery
josh, king of games : Which is why she’s so fascinating
josh, king of games : You and me have the same braincell or something and you’re cool because I get you
kat! : are you saying that it’s because i don’t totally get janice that’s why i’m not normal about her?
josh, king of games : Yeah! And it’s going to take some work to get to know her if that’s what you want but that’s why it’s worth it
kat! : wow dude
kat! : thank you
josh, king of games : You’re welcome
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Dec 19 at 15:15
karnivore : i’ve been back at home for a day and that’s already too long
karnivore : im not sure i realised how busy i was with high school because there is genuinely nothing to do here
karnivore : my options are admire the gas station, wander around the lumber store or shovel snow 🥲
jwood : 👀🪵🪵🪵
jwood : Idk maybe that lumber store could be cool…
game boy 🎲 : At least you’ll be back for New Years Eve
game boy 🎲 : Do you have family in mountport you can come and stay with?
karnivore : nope, closest i know are some distant cousins out in maine
karnivore : @rAUUUs! 🐺 @klAUUUs! 🐺 @Rachel 💻 any room in the hacker pad? i will couch surf and cook and do menial tasks 🙏
klAUUUs! 🐺 : We have room on the couch or if you don’t mind sharing with fursuit supplies the basement has privacy!
karnivore : you know what i’ll take it
karnivore : and for the lumber enjoyers:
karnivore : [Image: Kat’s hand doing a thumbs up in front of the camera, showing different beams of wood.]
-
Janice🌳
Dec 25 at 09:57
Kat : i don’t know if you celebrate, but merry christmas and otherwise happy holidays!!
Janice🌳: Thank you! Merry Christmas and happy holidays Kat
Kat : pictures of the tree for your appreciation!
Kat : [Image (+3 more…): Selfie of Kat wearing a red Richmond Trade School (@MU) hoodie standing next to a cut Christmas tree decorated tastefully with baubles, tinsel, and other ornaments.]
Kat : also i totally forgot but i still have your hoodie! i’ll make sure to give it back before new years
Janice🌳: Don’t worry about it
Janice🌳: It looks good on you :)
Kat : [7 dwarves aww shucks.gif]
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Dec 30 at 16:05
karnivore : WATCH OUT BECAUSE I’M BACK IN TOWN!!!
game boy 🎲 : SHE’S BACK!!
game boy 🎲 [welcome home cheater.jpg]
karnivore : stfu i paid for my father’s gas to drive me out here and him to go back again
karnivore : if anything im cheating on THEM to hang out with you guys for the rest of winter break
karnivore : he gave me money for pizza though so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Rachel 💻 : Feel free to head by the hacker pad, Raus is home and we’ve made the bed in the basement for you
Rachel 💻 : Klaus says you can’t change the bedspread though
karnivore : what is the bedspread??
rAUUUs! 🐺 : [Image: A bed made up with spiderman bedsheets.]
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Yesterday 12:45
Rachel 💻 : @jwood remind us when/where the party is again?
jwood : It starts at 7 and I’ll send you the address
Rachel 💻 : Easy 👍
Rachel 💻 : And are we staying the night there or do we need some designated drivers?
rAUUUs! 🐺 : happy to drive this time
jwood : They’ll have space for us to stay or they can Gogu us if we want to get back
game boy 🎲 : I’m going to be so honest I’d trust a gogu driver with my life
klAUUUs! 🐺 : ???
game boy 🎲 : Brendan got super high one night and accidentally ordered a gogu and the guy just drove them around town and trip-sitted with them
game boy 🎲 : Or at least that’s what I’ve rationalised from Brendan telling me they met Michaelangelo and a centaur in their gogu
jwood : So we’re goguing there and back?
Rachel 💻 : I’m getting three thumbs up from over here
game boy 🎲 : Here have two more 👍👍
jwood : 👍
-
josh, king of games
Yesterday 18:50
josh, king of games : Very brave of you to take the gogu with Janice
kat! : thank you
kat! : but stop sending texts that incriminate me
kat! : i’m trying to be normal here!
josh, king of games : [homophobic dog i know what you are.jpg]
kat! : im gay panicking so hard right now
kat! : i need another drink, the hacker pad shots were not enough
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Yesterday 20:43
rAUUUs! 🐺 : [Image: Kat, Josh and Rachel smiling and standing shoulder to shoulder with a person with brown skin, curly hair and wearing the crown jewels and a red velvet cape. They are lifting a drink up into the air and looking enigmatic.]
Yesterday 21:28
Rachel 💻 : [Image: Raus and Klaus each holding a shot of green liqueur.]
Yesterday 22:00
karnivore : [Image: Selfie of Kat grinning in front of Josh and Rachel who have their arms over each other’s shoulders.]
karnivore : [Image: Janice, the King of England, a young man wearing a mascot costume except for the headpiece, and a black woman with a snowflake hairclip standing together. All are smiling.]
karnivore : [Image (+5 more…): A pyramid stack of glass orbs on a black slate platform with flowing water running down from the top, over the orbs and into a groove surrounding the slate dais.]
game boy 🎲 : Why do you have so man ypictures of the inside ofthe house???
karnivore : becauise its so opulebnt in hehere it8s crazyyy
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Today 00:01
rAUUUs! 🐺 : [Video, 20 seconds long:
Camera shows the night sky and the heads of people in a crowd.
Crowd (chanting): TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!
Screaming, shouting and cheering as fireworks explode across the sky.]
Today 00:25
jwood : Has anyone seen kat?
klAUUUs! 🐺 : ???
game boy 🎲 : Wjhat’s up?
game boy 🎲 : @karnivore wya???
jwood : I was speaking to her just before the countdown and she got alarmed and disappeared
jwood : she didn’t look well
game boy 🎲 : fuck
game boy 🎲 : She was inthe ki9tchem bdefore
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Today 00:56
rAUUUs! 🐺 : found her
jwood : Where?
klAUUUs! 🐺 : deck
jwood : On my way
-
Kat’s Phone > Internal Storage > Media > Gallery > Camera Roll
Today, 00:58: [Video, 5 minutes:
Kat’s face is dimly illuminated by some kind of light. The sounds of loud music and people echo in the background. Kat doesn’t appear fully present.
Kat (slurred): It’s like I don’t know – I don’t KNOW you know how you’re like just trying to be respectful and I *incoherent*. I jus – how did she know? I don’ even know – why I’m hiding out here – ‘m venting to my camera – I gotta find Josh or –
Kat (slurred, laughing): And it wasn’t even *incoherent* - ‘just like my videos’! ‘nd then I knew she knew and – I fucking ran and now I’m – shit ‘m out of whiskey
Voice (German, off camera): Kat! Kat, are you out here?
Kat, looking to camera (slurred): Fuck me. ‘m fucked up right now. I’m – I’ve – ‘m gotta go in – gonna have to delete…
The camera moves jerkily and flashes downwards and upside down as Kat rises and sways.
Voice: Kat? There you are – ach! Katze!
The camera angle tips and spins with the heavy clattering of someone falling down and quick footsteps across wood. The camera is dark.
German voice: Oh, Katze… It’s Raus. Come on, can we get you up?
Kat: *incoherent*
Raus: Let’s – ah! Janice!
Kat (slurred, unhappily): Shiiiiiiiiit
Footsteps across wood.
Voice (female): Kat! Hey, hey. It’s Janice. Yeah, hi beautiful.
Janice (aside, concerned): What happened? Did she fall?
Raus (crosstalk): She was standing and pitched over…
Kat (crosstalk, heavily slurred): ‘m sorry, I was coming back ‘nd I just…
Janice: Mhmm? How about we get up, it’s cold out here. Raus, can you…?
Raus: Ja, ok
Janice: Okay, I’m going to put your arm over my shoulders and then we’re going to stand up, is that okay?
Kat (slurred): *incoherent* - you don’ have to –
Janice: No, it’s okay. I mean it, Katrina. We’re okay. I’m just worried because no one’s been able to find you for nearly an hour and you’ve been sitting out here in the cold.
Kat (slurred, quiet): ‘m sorry.
Janice (soothing): We’ll talk later, let me and Raus get you inside. Let me grab your – oh, your phone is over here.
The camera shifts as the phone is flipped, showing
Kat: No – ‘t’s video – ‘n you stop it?
Janice: Oh, it’s? Oh.]
Delete this video? > Delete
THE FIFTH PARTY: END OF WINTER BREAK
Janice 🌳
Jan 1 at 09:01
Janice 🌳: Kat, can we talk? I promise I’m not upset or angry with you
Janice 🌳: Text me please
Janice 🌳: I hope you’re okay
-
josh, king of games
Jan 1 at 12:50
josh, king of games : What happened last night??
josh, king of games : I know you’re awake by now
josh, king of games : You can’t ignore me
josh, king of games : I texted Raus to tell me if you were awake and had your phone and she said yes
kat! : happy new year joshua
josh, king of games : Happy New Year
josh, king of games : Are you okay? You were really out of it when Janice and Raus brought you inside and then on the Gogu back home
kat! : i didn’t say or do anything on the way back did i?
josh, king of games : We stopped because you had to throw up but that was all
josh, king of games : I remember trying to talk to you and you didn’t say a lot and weren’t making a lot of sense
josh, king of games : Our driver Jeremy was cool, he had some water for you and asked if we needed to take you to the hospital
kat! :😓😓😓
kat! : not a good look for me huh?
kat! : so blackout drunk the gogu driver thinks i need to go to the ER
josh, king of games : Well. That’s true
josh, king of games : But we were mostly worried about you to be honest
josh, king of games : I’m still worried about you
josh, king of games : What happened? Janice said she talked to you and you ran off
josh, king of games : Then they found you an hour later outside with an empty bottle and you were really really drunk
josh, king of games : It was really scary actually
kat! : fuck
kat! : i’m so sorry you had to see me like that
kat! : it’s really stupid
kat! : i was really stupid
josh, king of games : Don’t talk about my friend that way 😟
kat! : no no i really was
kat! : you have full permission to yell at me because i 100% deserve it for scaring you
josh, king of games : Well tell me and then let me decide please
kat! : ok
kat! : i was talking with janice before the countdown and i was flirting a bit. just casually because i didn’t want to come on too strong at all. i can’t even remember what i was saying but janice was flirting back and she said something about ‘her tiktok that we both know i pretend doesn’t exist’
josh, king of games : Oh Kat
kat! : and i didn’t know she knew. i had no idea she knew and i don’t know how she knows but i panicked and just got the fuck out of there. i don’t even know why i did it because i could have just talked about it with her but it felt like she’d just revealed she knew my deepest darkest secret
kat! : and then i grabbed a bottle of whatever I could find and went to the furthest side of the house where no one would be
kat! : it’s pretty blurry after that
kat! : so. i was pretty stupid. i’m sorry for scaring you josh
josh, king of games : Thank you
josh, king of games : It was really silly to grab the alcohol and head out but I can see how it happened
josh, king of games : Please please don’t do it again
josh, king of games : I was so scared when they told me you’d collapsed
kat! : i won’t i promise
kat! : oh shit i had no idea that happened i’m so sorry
josh, king of games : I don’t want to assume but are your family homophobic? Or was it in your town and your high school?
kat! : definitely not my family and also not really my school. there were people who didn’t seem happy but no one ever made a big deal about anything
kat! : that’s part of why i feel so bad, i felt so ashamed for nothing really
kat! : and i scared you guys for no reason
kat! : i should have gone and talked to you
josh, king of games : You’re allowed to feel what you feel but you should have come talked to me
josh, king of games : Please come talk to me if something happens
josh, king of games : I love rachel and I think I’d die for her but you feel like my secret half french clone or the sister i never had or like you were genetically engineered to be my best friend
kat! : 🥺😭😭😭😭 JPSHUA
josh, king of games : You can absolutely tell me the stupid shit
josh, king of games : I held you hair back while you were throwing up and it was gross and I was shit scared and I’d do it again
josh, king of games : But I’ll take a conversation with you freaking the fuck out over that any day
kat! : you’re going to make me cry
kat! : i love you too josh
kat! : im sorry, i’ll definitely talk to you next time
josh, king of games : You’d better
josh, king of games : And that’s a threat
josh, king of games : Also you need to talk to Janice and I need to apologise to Janice on both of our behalf
kat! : ??? what? why?????
josh, king of games : I may or may not have freaked out at janice because she said she spoke to you and then you ran away
josh, king of games : I thought she said or did something to upset you and yelled at her after she brought you back inside
kat! : oh wow okay
kat! : shit i need to text janice
-
Janice 🌳
Jan 1 at 13:13
Kat : hey
Kat : im sorry about last night
Kat : and for josh last night
Kat : he’s going to send you an apology himself but he wouldn’t have yelled at you if it wasn’t for me so i’m sending one in for him
Janice 🌳: How are you feeling?
Kat : i’m okay, hungover but okay
Janice 🌳: Okay
Janice 🌳: It’s important to ask now, do you remember what happened?
Kat : about when we talked or…?
Janice 🌳: Yes, although do you remember when we found you outside?
Kat : i remember going outside but that’s about it after that
Janice 🌳: Right, okay
Kat : i’ve already texted josh and we both agree that i shouldn’t have gone out there like i did
Kat : I’m sorry you had to see me like that
Janice 🌳: Yeah it wasn’t the best.
Janice 🌳: You know that I’ve known that you know who I am and what I do from the start right?
Janice 🌳: You looked up at me from the floor after trying to get into my dorm room and said ‘holy shit you’re the hot lumberjack girl from tiktok!’
Janice 🌳: Probably stupid of me but I thought since you remembered trying to kick in the door that you remembered seeing me
Kat : i only knew I tried to get into someone else’s dorm at all because i left some crazy drunk texts to josh about it
Kat : i had no idea until josh started hanging out with rachel and he came back and told me to google you and said you’d spoken about me
Kat : i didn’t want to seem like a parasocial nightmare but then i lied by omission about it so when you said something about your tiktok i panicked
Janice 🌳: I’m glad we’re on the same page now
Kat : i can’t really explain why i ran off, that wasn’t really logical
Kat : being at the canonical king of england’s party didn’t really help
Janice 🌳: But it wasn’t about anything I said? I didn’t do anything?
Kat : no
Kat : you were perfect
Janice 🌳: That’s good
Janice 🌳: That’s all that matters
Jan 1 at 13:23
Janice 🌳: So…
Janice 🌳: My videos huh?
Janice 🌳: Are they any good?
Kat : they’re alright 🙂
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Jan 5 at 10:53
rAUUUs! 🐺 : [Image: A shorter figure in jeans, a yellow hoodie and fingerless mittens standing in a shop wearing a novelty plush panda head mask.]
rAUUUs! 🐺 : baby’s first fursuit <3
karnivore : goodwill didn’t consider i don’t think i’m a panda
klAUUUs! 🐺 : [werewolf ripping shirt.jpg]
klAUUUs! 🐺 : Please be a wolf please be a wolf please be a wolf please be a wolf please be
Rachel 💻 : Surely Kat would be a cat?
karnivore : uhhhhh i think im contractually obligated to be a wolf
-
Janice 🌳
Jan 7 at 08:44
Janice 🌳: Weird question this early in the morning but do you want to come ice skating later?
Janice 🌳: My sister brought my niece over to see our parents and they said I’m taking her out to do something
Janice 🌳: Vanessa wants to go ice skating
Janice 🌳: Did you want to come?
Jan 7 at 10:02
Kat : i’d love to go skating!!
Kat : i’m don’t know if i’ll be very good but i’ll come along
Kat : wait you’re not inviting me because you can’t skate right? i can’t teach a kid to skate
Janice 🌳: No haha I used to play hockey I can skate!
Janice 🌳: Vanessa is 3 and while she’s pretty cool she’s not always the best conversation
Kat : also i’m guessing extra hands are useful for child wrangling purposes?
Janice 🌳: That too
Kat : you might have your work cut out for you
Kat : you’ll be teaching both of us to skate
Janice 🌳: Well maybe just you
Janice 🌳: She’s not a pro figure skater but Vanessa can get around on the ice just fine
Janice 🌳: Why do you think she asked to go?
Kat : ohhhhh i see how it is
Kat : i’m built in comedy on the ice
Kat : i’ll have you know i won’t be that bad, one of the kids in third grade had a roller blading birthday party!!!
Janice 🌳: :) We’ll pick you up at 11.30
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Jan 7 at 12:16
jwood : [Image: Kat ice skating, wearing cargo pants, a red Richmond Trade School (@MU) hoodie and a beanie with two pom poms on it. She’s focusing intently and has both arms outstretched to keep her balance.]
jwood : [Video, 1 minute:
The camera zooms in to focus on Kat, skating anti-clockwise around the edge of the skating rink, with her back to the camera as she moves around towards the other side of the rink.
Janice’s voice (off camera): Do you see her? She’s over there. See the red?
Child’s voice (off camera): She skating!
Janice’s voice: Yeah! She’s doing better isn’t she?
Child: No. She fell over!
Janice: Well, she did fall over before but she’s moving now.
Kat is coming around the back of the rink, and wobbles as she has to avoid hitting another skater, flailing her arms a little.
Janice: I think we should have got her a helmet.
Child: We need helmets. Kat needs a helmet. She falls.
Janice: Look, here comes Kat!
Kat skates somewhat awkwardly down the inside of the rink, biting her lip as she focuses on skating, but looks up and smiles as she approaches. She skates up to the edge of the rink and stops herself by grabbing into it.
Kat: Oof! Hi! Did you see me nearly fall?
Janice: Oh yeah, we saw.
Kat notices the camera.
Kat, laughing: Oh my gosh are you recording? Turn that off!]
karnivore : i’m actually a professional skater i have no idea where this video came from this is slander
klAUUUs! 🐺 : [press X to doubt.jpg]
-
Kat’s Phone > Internal Storage > Media > Gallery > Camera Roll
Jan 10, 12:20: [Image: Janice grinning wildly mid-sprint while ice skating, wearing jeans, a colour block polar fleece jacket and her signature black beanie.]
Jan 10, 12:32: [Janice skating and holding the hand of a small child wearing matching purple sweatshirt and sweatpants with a puffer vest, also skating.]
Jan 10, 12:33: [Image: Janice standing casually in her skates and smiling at the camera.]
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Jan 10 at 14:38
Rachel 💻 : Mary, Duncan and Donuts reached out
Rachel 💻 : They’re holding an end of winter break get together at the discotheque and they want us to come
karnivore : DUNKIN DONUTS
game boy 🎲 : DUNCAN DONUTS AND MARY!
jwood : These are the junior year science majors that are all together right?
rAUUUs! 🐺 : ja they hang out
jwood : No? I meant that they’re all dating each other
game boy 🎲 : [shocked cat.jpg]
karnivore : wait wait wait i figured duncan and donuts were for sure but mary as well?
Rachel 💻 : [the more you know.jpg]
game boy 🎲 : When is it?
Rachel 💻 : Janurary 24th so in two weeks
game boy 🎲 : 👍👍👍
-
Janice 🌳
Jan 14 at 08:45
Janice 🌳: [Link: TikTok | GoodWithWood | Nothing but two minutes and thirty seconds of splitting firewood.]
Janice 🌳: New video out 😉
Kat : bold of you to assume i wasn’t already aware
Kat : notifications are ✨on ✨
-
josh, king of games
Jan 19 at 22:14
josh, king of games : So how goes it over there?
josh, king of games : Janice looks comfortable
kat! : she’s sleeping
kat! : and get off your phone you’re supposed to be watching the movie
josh, king of games : [Image: Kat sitting next to Janice on a couch, illuminated by the light from a television screen. Kat is wearing a red Richmond Trade School (@MU) hoodie and has a throw blanket draped over her lap. She is flipping off the camera. Janice appears to be asleep, leaning against Kat’s shoulder with one hand on Kat’s leg.]
josh, king of games : You two seemed close while we were getting snacks earlier
josh, king of games : I know you two talked and you both know that you watch her videos now
josh, king of games : AND she knows you think she’s hot
kat! : yes, all that happened
josh, king of games : And?
kat! : and what??
josh, king of games : You’ve been seeing her a lot
josh, king of games : And you keep stealing her hoodie
kat! : i’d argue she keeps giving it to me
josh, king of games : That’s probably even more incriminating
josh, king of games : What’s going on between you two?
kat! : nothing, we’ve just been spending time together
josh, king of games : Objectively that is true and I can’t argue with it
josh, king of games : But SUBJECTIVELY 🤨🤨🤨
josh, king of games : Something’s happening
josh, king of games : There’s a tension between you two which literally everyone is clocking
kat! : surely not literally everyone else josh
josh, king of games : The store attendant said ‘third wheeling right?’ to me as we were leaving
kat! : did you say yes????
josh, king of games : WELL I COULDN’T SAY NO
kat! : 💀💀💀
kat! : look now that everything’s out in the open we’re just hanging out
kat! : and maybe i’ve also been flirting
josh, king of games : Because she knows you think she’s hot and you’ve finally noticed how she looks at you like you put the stars in the sky?
kat! : that’s how she looks at me??
josh, king of games : Yes!! And it’s old news Kat because she’s looked at you like that the whole time!
kat! : shit
kat! : you know this and i know this but i think janice is awesome and i want to kiss her so so bad
kat! : and i think we nearly could have at new years except that whole other thing got in the way
josh, king of games : Whoa
josh, king of games : Was she really about to before you…?
kat! : uhuh yep i think so
josh, king of games : Well that’s good right?
josh, king of games : You just need to have a conversation about it and then I guess you can kiss her as much as you want
kat! : yes
kat! : but i don’t know when i should tell her
josh, king of games : Well not right now because she’s sleeping and we’re supposed to be watching the movie
kat! : would it be crazy to wait for the party at the discotheque?
kat! : idk it’d help to have a bit of liquid courage and the power of disco in the system
josh, king of games : Well don’t have too much (or bring secret liquor like last time) but are you happy to wait five days?
kat! : i’ve waited more than five days already, what’s five more?
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Today 19:30
Rachel 💻 : [Image: Mary, Duncan and Donuts grinning broadly at the camera and holding each other’s hands.]
Rachel 💻 : Confirmed in a throuple
jwood : That’s what I thought!
Rachel 💻 : [Image: Raus and Klaus standing on one side of a giant jenga tower and Josh and Kat standing on the other. The tower is quite tall and both teams have serious expressions on their faces.]
rAUUUs! 🐺 : [Image: Josh sitting with his head in his hands and Kat dropped to her knees in defeat.]
-
josh, king of games
Today 20:00
josh, king of games : Is it time?
kat! : no???
josh, king of games : You’ve been sitting over there talking with Janice for a while now
josh, king of games : You’ve stolen her hat twice
Today 20:57
josh, king of games : [Video, 3 minutes long:
The camera shows a group of young people milling about at the discotheque. In the background, Kat and Janice are sitting opposite each other in a booth with a small table between them. The camera zooms in to centre and focus on them.
Josh (off camera): Oh my gosh this seems so sketchy.
Rachel (off camera): Well, she did tell you she was going to confess, right?
Josh: Yeah, and I figured if it goes well, they can put it in a wedding video later…
Rachel: If it goes badly just delete it – look! Is she telling Janice?
Kat appears flustered, taking a deep breath before speaking and gesticulating quickly.
Josh: Shit, I’m so nervous for her! She was so unnecessarily worried about it earlier.
Rachel: As if they haven’t been falling into each other’s orbit for the past three weeks.
Josh: And the months before that…
Janice reaches out to tuck a piece of Kat’s hair behind her ear, stopping Kat’s speech and hand motions. She says something, to which Kat nods, dumbstruck.
Josh: Oh! Is it happening?
Rachel: Oh my gosh!
The camera zooms slightly more just in time to catch Janice leaning forwards to kiss Kat, who quickly reciporicates.
Josh (quietly): Yay! *pause* I should definitely stop recording now.]
+ ONE
Janice 🥰🌳
Yesterday 00:01
Janice 🥰🌳: Happy birthday Kat!! ❤️❤️❤️
Kat : go to sleep!!! i told you not to do this
Kat : just because you’ve been awake for 36 hours to get your project done doesn’t mean you stretch it to 40 to wish me happy birthday
Kat : thank you though ❤️
Janice 🥰🌳: But I’m the first person to say happy birthday?
Kat : yes… josh’s text came in 0.5 seconds after yours did
Janice 🥰🌳: Then I’m doing my job as your girlfriend!
Kat : go to sleep
Kat : i love you
Janice 🥰🌳: I love you too ❤️
-
josh, king of games
Yesterday 00:01
josh, king of games : Happy birthday!!!
josh, king of games : I’ll let you respond to Janice first 😞
josh, king of games : I know how it is…
kat! : her text did get in first
kat! : and you’re right she also has girlfriend privileges
josh, king of games : No best friend privileges for me then?
kat! : well I’m texting you aren’t i
kat! : i could have ignored you and gone to sleep
kat! : also as far as i know you haven’t been awake for 24+ hours
kat! : janice is also playing chicken with sleep deprivation which is not something I want her to be doing when she regularly uses power tools
kat! : the faster i text her the faster she sleeps
josh, king of games : Ok ok all valid reasons
josh, king of games : And we also both need to sleep
josh, king of games : Your party isn’t going to plan itself and we need to drive to prairieville and get the ball pit
kat! : aahhhh i forgot about the ball pit
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Yesterday 09:00
klAUUUs! 🐺 : HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATZE!!! 🪅🎉🎈🎁
Rachel 💻 : Happy birthday Kat!
rAUUUs! 🐺 : happy birthday!!
game boy 🎲 : Katrina the Carnivorous, first of her name, the happiest of birthdays to you!
game boy 🎲 : She’s actually driving right now, she says thank you and that she’ll read everything later
game boy 🎲 : [Image: Kat with sunglasses on, focused on the road and performing a hand over hand steering manoeuvre.]
Rachel 💻 : Where are you two going?? I thought you’d be coming by to help set up for the party?
game boy 🎲 : We need to pick something up from Prarieville
rAUUUs! 🐺 : are you not getting sick looking at your phone taking the mountain pass road?
Rachel 💻 : Stop texting us and put your phone down please
game boy 🎲 : But I love reading messages from you all, my sweet friends and wonderful beautiful girlfriend 🥹
game boy 🎲 : But sincerely I am starting to feel sick so I will do that yes
Yesterday 10:24
karnivore : thank you everyone!!!
karnivore : BEHOLD!
karnivore : [Image: A folded bundle of transparent and blue plastic and six large black trash bags filled with spherical objects on someone’s lawn.]
karnivore : say hello to the ball pit
klAUUUs! 🐺 : 😮😮😮
Rachel 💻 : Wow
game boy 🎲 : My personal favourite part is the dolphins that are printed on the outside of the pool just so you feel like you’re even more in the water
game boy 🎲 : Even though you’re on land so it would actually be very scary if the dolphins were there
rAUUUs! 🐺 : how were you able to find it?
rAUUUs! 🐺 : the pool makes some sense but not everyone has lots of balls
karnivore : we just looked online for the pool
karnivore : that’s been in the back of my car for a month 😀
karnivore : and when that didn’t work i was joking about it in class and barry from statistics knew a guy who collected the balls from the 3 prairieville mcdonalds locations when they phased the ball pits out
karnivore : that’s what we just grabbed
game boy 🎲 : He SWORE that the balls are disinfected
Rachel 💻 : And you believed him????????
karnivore : well that’s why we’re going to swing by the store and pick up disinfectant
game boy 🎲 : As well as snacks and last-minute supplies
game boy 🎲 : Cups
game boy 🎲 : Hot dogs
game boy 🎲 : Ping pong balls
karnivore : @rAUUUs! 🐺 @klAUUUs! 🐺 you’re still good to grab the beer and other stuff??
rAUUUs! 🐺 : Ja 🫡
karnivore : thank you!! you’re amazing 🙏🙏🙏
karnivore : let me know how much to pay you
-
Janice 🥰🌳
Yesterday 11:03
Janice 🥰🌳: I just woke up, you bought a ball pit??
Kat : i hope you slept well!
Kat : [Image: Kat sitting in the middle of a rectangular inflatable pool with a dark blue bottom and transparent sides printed with dolphins. Kat is grinning and doing double thumbs up.]
Kat : technically i bought a small pool
Kat : and a highly discounted number of balls which josh is disinfecting for me
Janice 🥰🌳: Good luck to him!
Janice 🥰🌳: What time do you want me to come over and help set up?
Kat : i can come get you, josh said he wants to try doing grilled corn as well as calling in for pizza later so i was going to get that
Janice 🥰🌳: Easy peasy :)
Janice 🥰🌳: If you have some time to spare I can give you your birthday present ;)
Kat : OH? 👀
Kat : i’ll be over in 5 minutes
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Yestday 12:30
jwood : [Link: Tiktok | GoodWithWood | Carving a falcon for my girlfriend’s birthday🦅]
jwood : [Image: Kat holding a detailed carving of a wooden falcon in flight made out of a handsome dark wood, oiled and stained.]
game boy 🎲 : Whoa!!!
karnivore : isn’t it cool???
karnivore : we’re actually at the store right now, does anyone need anything last minute?
karnivore : apart from all the corn?
rAUUUs! 🐺 : no we have everything
-
josh, king of games
Yestday 12:32
josh, king of games : That was a long time to get corn and for Janice to give you the falcon
josh, king of games : (Which is extremely cool by the way)
kat! : thank you josh
kat! : it is a very cool falcon which janice lovingly made and we both appreciated for an hour and did nothing else 🙂
josh, king of games : 😁
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Yesterday 16:24
klAUUUs! 🐺 : I have beer + wine + soda + some things extra
klAUUUs! 🐺 : And some bags of ice
karnivore : ball pit is now operational and disinfected!
karnivore : thank you everyone! ☺️
karnivore : throwing a party is hard work
karnivore : @rAUUUs! 🐺 @klAUUUs! 🐺 how were you able to buy all of the drinks and the food for your party?? it wasn’t even a birthday and it must have cost a lot
rAUUUs! 🐺 : 💻
rAUUUs! 🐺 : 💻
Rachel 💻 : ^ Hackers 😉
-
josh, king of games
Yesterday 19:17
josh, king of games : Rachel just left to pick up the pizza 👍
kat! : perfect! she’s too good to us i swear
josh, king of games : I know
josh, king of games : I’m grateful everyday that I wake up and she’s my girlfriend 😌
kat! : i could say something about ‘how’d you ever get a girl like her’ but 1) that’s got a weird patriarchy mouthfeel and 2) she absolutely got you
kat! : stared you down across the very kitchen island you’re cooking at right now
josh, king of games : And every day I’m grateful she did
josh, king of games : Also who’s here right now? All I can focus on is cooking the food and occasionally looking at my phone
josh, king of games : I think I saw Duncan
josh, king of games : But no Donuts (or Mary)
kat! : duncan but no donuts😨
kat! : no the whole triad is here they’re in the ball pit
josh, king of games : which was such a good idea by the way
kat! : such a good idea! thank you!
kat! : especially with the no drinks in the ball pit rule
josh, king of games : Absolutely
kat! : i think i saw lorenzo and dartanio but i kind of avoided them
kat! : chris and barry are here, i saw vanessa and some of her pre-med friends as well
kat! : and janice has the richmond trade gang together
josh, king of games : Nice!
josh, king of games : Stop texting me and socialise with all your friends and the people you know who are here
josh, king of games : I have to get back to the corn
kat! : you’re arguably the most important friend who is here and im talking to you
kat! : but yes chef 🫡
-
Janice 🥰🌳
Yesterday 21:12
Janice 🥰🌳: [Video (40 seconds):
The camera shows a small crowd gathered around a fold out table, which has a rectangular cake with the words ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT!!!’ written across the top and a small collection of sparklers on it. Kat is standing behind the cake and smiling, looking between the people gathered around.
Crowd: Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear –
Crowd (simultaneous): Kaaaaaaat/Katrinaaaaaaa/Katrina the carnivorous/Katzeeeeee!
Crowd: Happy birthday to you!
Kat blows out the sparklers as the crowd cheers and claps.]
-
Wolf Pack Group Chat
Today 00:26
jwood : [Image: Kat and Josh, obviously drunk and mid laughter, sitting in the ball pit. Kat has her eyes squeezed shut as she laughs and Josh is sitting askew as if having been hit with a ball.]
jwood : [Image: Kat, Rachel and Josh, sitting together in the ball pit and smiling.]
Rachel 💻 : [Image: Selfie of herself and Janice standing next to each other while in the background Raus and Klaus throw balls at Josh and Kat, who are laughing and covering their heads and faces in the ball pit. The image is captioned #our idiots.]
game boy 🎲 : Remember who cookef all that cornfor you
game boy 🎲 : You cant hit me
karnivore : thankyou joshj
Rachel 💻 : Why are you texsting each other, we’re all here in person?
jwood: [Image: Kat lying down in the ball pit with only her arms, gripping the sides, and bent knees visible.]
karnivore : i lobve you gusy so much <3