Chapter Text
“Got any plans for Valentine’s Day?” Padmé asks with her typical sweet smile, the one that makes him lose his damn mind repeatedly.
They both lean against the metal fence as they eat lunch together. The sun is finally out again, and the cold weather is now tolerable.
Anakin takes another bite of his peanut butter sandwich and chews, trying not to think too much about the question. She’s got a Valentine. The guy she still hasn’t told him about. “Not much. Obi-Wan has a date. So, I’ll probably just be home alone. Maybe get on Fortnite with Ahsoka.” He shrugs. He hopes he sounds nonchalant about it all.
Valentine’s day is a stupid holiday anyway. Corporations capitalize on people’s love with red and pink boxes of candy and bears made from plastics that are actively destroying the environment.
“Oh,” Padmé replies, sounding a little disappointed.
“I really wouldn’t have it any other way,” he says. He looks up at her to read her expression. She looks as sad as she sounds, but he can’t focus on that for too long. Her pretty lips are stained red from the shiny lollipop she holds in between her thumb and index fingers. He’d like to taste the candy because that’s probably the closest he’s ever going to get to kissing her.
God, how is it possible for one person to be so pretty?
“Aren’t you going to ask me if I have plans?” she says, tapping his sneaker playfully with her flat.
He takes another bite of his sandwich. He knows she has plans with that guy. And as her friend, Anakin should be supportive of her new relationship. She doesn’t know anything about his feelings because he has been too chicken to confess. And now, it’s too late.
“Honestly... I really don’t care,” he says. He instantly regrets what he said.
The hurt in her brown eyes is condemning. There are probably a thousand different responses that would have been better than the one that slipped out.
“Why...would—you’ve been acting so—so rude lately. And I don’t get it, Anakin.” Padmé pushes the lollipop between her perfect lips and storms off.
Anakin doesn’t stop her. He watches her tread across the slushy grass to the table at which her girlfriends are sitting. She sits beside Sabé and instantly becomes a part of the lively discussion, probably forgetting that he even exists.
▪︎
When he gets home, Anakin tosses his backpack on the couch, nearly hitting Obi-Wan who sits on the end. He heads towards the kitchen for an energy drink.
Obi-Wan looks up through his readers. He has the newspaper in his lap. “I hope you took your shoes off at the front door.”
Rolling his eyes, Anakin continues past him, straight into the kitchen. He opens the refrigerator door and picks up a Monster. The can opens with a delicious hiss. He needs the boost if he’s going to finish his homework in time to also have time for video games with Rex and Ahsoka. They’re playing Fortnite tonight. Hopefully, it won’t be another 3 am session. The lack of sleep is killing him.
“Anakin?”
“What?”
The couch squeaks as Obi-Wan stands up. He looks down at Anakin’s feet still in sneakers. “You do realize that I’m the one who does all the mopping around here.”
“Didn’t ask you to.”
Obi-Wan sighs. “It’s my house.”
“Well, you’re treating me like a child, and it’s getting old.” Anakin wanders to the sink and stares out at the small backyard.
“Well, stop acting like one.”
Anakin slams the can on the counter. “I think... I think I deserve a little respect from you. I do help out. I mow the lawn and always keep my damn room clean. And I’m sorry, I forgot about my stupid shoes. That wasn’t a rule at my mom’s.”
Obi-Wan nods, leaning against the island. “Try to remember then.”
“Yeah.”
Anakin didn’t intend to disrespect house rules. He really did just forget about his shoes. He has had a lot on his mind lately. Obi-Wan couldn’t possibly understand what he’s going through.
“Anakin.”
He looks up. “Yeah?”
“Is... everything okay?” It’s rare that Obi-Wan actually checks in with him regarding his feelings. Obi-Wan has a tendency to pretend that everything is wonderful even when it’s not. He has faith in a higher power. Anakin wishes he did.
“Do you want the truth, or...?”
Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. “Of course.”
At times, Obi-Wan can offer some insightful advice. Rare but it does happen. “Okay, maybe I haven’t been doing great.”
Obi-Wan gives him an unsurprised look. “You have been moodier as of late. I—I know I’m not your father, but I hope you know I am here.”
That’s what Obi-Wan always says. “I think... I think Padmé is dating someone.”
Obi-Wan lifts his brow. “Oh?”
“Yeah. A college guy. His name is stupid like Clove or Clover. I don’t know.”
“And you’re upset because—”
Anakin laughs dryly. “I thought that part was obvious.”
“Have you asked her about this?”
Anakin shakes his head. “Rex said that Sabé—”
“So you and your schoolmates are playing a game of telephone.”
“I guess.”
“And I’m guessing you haven’t asked Padmé then.”
Anakin shakes his head again.
“What if it’s nothing but a rumor?”
“It’s not. Besides, what does it matter. I’m a sophomore. She’s a senior. She’s going to graduate and then I’m never going to see her again. Might as well get over her now.”
“Actually, I’m inclined to agree.”
Anakin looks up. Obi-Wan strokes his beard in typical fashion.
“You think I should just give up then?”
“High school relationships rarely work out,” Obi-Wan reasons. “Save yourself the heartbreak.”
Anakin nods his head, trying to make himself agree. But he just can’t shake the feeling that she’s the one. But if he said that part aloud, Obi-Wan might completely dismiss his feelings. “I’ll try.”
“I’m sure,” Obi-Wan offers a smile, “there will be others.”
“Not like her,” he mutters under his breath as he walks out of the kitchen.
He heads up the stairs to his room. He kicks off his sneakers and strips down for a quick shower. If only the water could wash away his feelings.
▪︎
His keys clack as he’s building 90s to get the high ground on their opponents. Ahsoka and Rex creep up on the enemy trio from the flank. Both are shouting into his ears from his headphone speakers. One of the opponents is building up to him. Anakin is lasering the gingerbread skin from his spot at the top.
“Headshot. Sixty,” Anakin calls out. “He’s trying to box me.”
“I’ll come to you,” Ahsoka says. “One second.”
“I’m fine.”
But that turns out to be entirely incorrect. Anakin is sniped from the left and is immediately taken out. He’s trapped in his tower as he bleeds out.
“We’re being third-partied from the hill,” Rex shouts. “I don’t think we’re going to be able to get you, Sky.”
The gingerbread guy finishes him quickly. “Don’t worry about me. Just get my reboot card. I’m dead.”
Ahsoka curses and her lifeline turns red. “I’m out too. Rex, get my reboot.”
“I’m literally surrounded by six guys right now.”
Anakin watches Rex’s character crouching under a maze of wood and brick builds. If he moves even an inch, someone is bound to discover him, and then the game is over. This is their fifth match and all of them have ended in failure. If Rex survives, they’ll be one of five trios left. This is the longest they have survived. Most of it is Anakin’s fault. He’s the best builder on the team, and he’s playing half-assed all because he’s mad about something he can’t control.
His phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out quickly. It’s probably Obi-Wan asking him to do the dishes.
But it’s not Obi-Wan.
It’s Padmé. Wanted to make sure you’re okay.
Anakin didn’t know she had his number. They have only talked at school during lunch period.
“Guys, did either of you give Padmé my number?” he asks Rex and Ahsoka. “She texted me.”
Rex laughs annoyingly loudly. “No, but what did she say?”
“Yeah, Anakin what did she say?” Ahsoka asks with a giggle.
“Nothing really. Just checking in or whatever.”
“Oh my gosh!” Ahsoka screeches, “She totally likes you.”
“No, she doesn’t,” Anakin is quick to shut her down, but he wishes Ahsoka was right. “She has a boyfriend.”
Clovis. A stupid name. What has he done to deserve the affections of Padmé? What has he done to earn the honor of being her boyfriend?
Anakin picks up the stress ball he keeps on his desk and squeezes it so hard it breaks and explodes in his hand. An expletive escapes his lips.
“Did she say something else?” Ahsoka asks, her curiosity audible through the speakers.
“No. I have to clean something up.”
“Ew. That’s messed up,” Rex snorts. “Did she send you a picture?”
“Oh my god, my ears are bleeding. Shut up! Shut up!” Ahsoka screams.
Anakin rolls his eyes. That was the worst word choice possible, especially in front of Rex. “I spilled my water.” Of course, that’s a lie. But explaining why he broke a stress ball seems unnecessary. “I have to go.”
He ends the call right then and pulls his trashcan closer to sweep all the crumbly blue foam into it. After running to the bathroom, he washes his hands. This is all Padmé’s fault. He’s losing his mind because he can’t have her. He was too late to confess to her. He wishes he didn’t care about her boyfriend. He wishes he was brave enough to tell her exactly what he has been feeling since the first time she introduced herself and became his secret angel.
Reading her text over again, he sinks to the bathroom floor. His heart is racing just reading what she typed, knowing that her precious fingertips spelled out each word.
Yeah, he’s got it bad.
i promise im fine howd you get my number?
Instantly, she texts back. Sabé had it. You were being an ass earlier. Any particular reason? Or do you just not like me anymore?
He coughs. She’s very direct. its not that. not that at all.
Then what is it? Thought we were friends.
He wants to text back, I want to be more than that, but he... can’t. She’s a senior. Give it ten years, the age gap wouldn’t mean anything, but what would an eighteen-year-old girl really want with a boy who’s only sixteen. The only thing Anakin has going for him is that he’s tall, but that’s not enough. She has a college boyfriend who’s probably experienced. Anakin hasn’t even kissed anyone yet.
ive just been having a rlly hard time
With?
Anakin wishes he could tell her. cant say.
You know you can tell me anything.
not this is his short reply. What else could he say?
I’ve been in love with you for months. And I know you have a boyfriend, but I think you should be with me instead.
Honestly... maybe he should.
Her bubble with three dots appears again.
Would you want to hang out Saturday? Come to my house? Don’t you like video games?
Immediately, Anakin turns the phone off and lies back on the cold tile of his bathroom floor. He feels high.
He should be good and say no. He should say no. She’s inviting him over as a friend and has no idea about his crush. Being alone with her would be dangerous for him. He doesn’t know what he might say... what he might do... just because he can never think straight around her.
time?
He didn’t mean to type that.
Actually, he did. He’s already thinking about things he shouldn’t be at this hour of the night.
Seven??
okay
Now, he just has to make it to Saturday at seven without dying.
▪︎
Big brown eyes peek through the crack of the front door. Then he’s greeted with her smile that gives him butterflies which is completely annoying. There is no way he’s going to be calm about this. Heat rises to his face as she opens the door. She’s wearing sweats and a camisole. A couple inches of her stomach is visible, and he pretends not to notice.
“Anakin!” She gives him a wave. “You can come in.” She reaches out to grasp at his hand. She pulls him inside, and he stumbles forwards on the entrance rug. Quickly, she closes the door behind him. “My parents are at a friend’s house for game night.”
Anakin gulps. “Oh.” He pushes the hood of his hoodie off his head and slips out of his sneakers.
She leans back against the door, biting her lip. “That doesn’t bother you, does it?”
“I—I... uh... they wouldn’t mind me being here?” He doesn’t want to be disrespectful to the Naberrie’s. Most fathers probably don’t want their daughters being home alone with a guy even if they are ‘just friends.’
“No. They don’t care. I told them.” She bites her lip again.
Anakin stares down at his hands. Why is she looking at him like that? “Okay. Well, thanks for having me over.” This feels like the right thing to say. He tries to force down his nervousness, but this is the first time they have ever spent time together out of school. “Did you need help with your homework?”
“What?” She has a dumbfounded expression.
An awkward grin stretches across his lips. “T—that was a joke.” Although, it wouldn’t be the first time someone invited him over with the intention of a study session. But Padmé definitely isn’t someone who needs a tutor.
“Oh.” She giggles. It’s the cutest thing in the world to him. “Do you want to see my room?”
Anakin has to blink a few times. Did he hear her right? “Your room?”
“Yeah, my PC is up there.”
“Oh, right.”
She doesn’t know he’s dreamed of a scenario like this close to a thousand times, maybe more. He hopes to keep her in the dark about this embarrassing fact.
Padmé heads up the stairs first, Anakin trailing behind. He looks at everything but the view at eye level because... well... as much as he’d like to look, he would never feel right about it. Padmé doesn’t like him like that. Besides, Padmé’s baby pictures are adorable. She’s always been cute.
“I’m trying this new game called God of War,” she tells him. “Ever played it?”
“Yeah. It’s really good. Never made it to the end. I play more... battle royale type games.”
When they finally reach the second floor, he feels a little relief not being so tempted by her...
“Anakin?”
“Yeah?” He looks up at her face as she looks at him over her small shoulder.
“The bathroom is right there.” She points to the door on the left. “And this,” she takes a few steps down the hallway, “is my room.”
He follows her inside trying to bury his feelings under the reminder that they’re ‘just friends.’ But it’s not working. Her luscious coils of brown hair and her perfect smile are the only thing he’s ever dreamed about.
How can he not love her?
She’s been talking for the last two minutes about the decorations in her room, but he couldn’t be less interested about that. Her room is a warm yellow, and everything matches.
“We can sit on my bed and play a game or watch a movie.”
He eyes her flower-printed sheets and runs over them with his fingertips. This is a very bad idea. For him. She seems completely unaffected by the intimacy of their environment. But he’d never tell her no. Not in a million years.
“Okay.” Tentatively, he sits on the very edge of her mattress.
She crawls up and rests her back against the collection of pillows and stuffed animals along the wall. She kicks her feet forwards. She’s wearing pink fuzzy socks. Her feet are small.
She pats on the mattress, and he turns to her.
“Don’t you want to get comfortable?”
“Um...” you have a boyfriend is what he should say. Not, “Yeah. Of course.”
How can he say no to an angel?
Anakin shifts back and sits beside her, a respectable distance between them. The pillows create a comfortable cushion for his back.
“What about a movie?” she asks.
“That’s fine.”
Her hand brushes against his as she picks up the remote between their bodies. He shivers. She doesn’t react. Stretching her arm towards the television, she presses the on button.
“What do you like?”
You.
“Anything.”
She laughs. “That doesn’t give me much to work with, Anakin.”
“Pick something you want to watch,” he replies.
“You’re the guest.”
“Fine.” He sighs. “So, do you like Sci-fi?” Everyone already knows he’s a nerd.
“Is that really a question?”
His eyes go wide. “I really didn’t think... that’s cool. I like it too.”
She claps her hands together softly. “Yay! Do you have a recommendation?”
He mulls over his options for a moment. “Have you seen Arrival?”
She brings her index finger to her lips. “I’m not sure.”
“With Amy Adams?”
“Oh, she’s pretty.”
“It’s a great film,” he says.
“Let’s watch it.”
“Okay.”
▪︎
Her eyes are intently focused on the movie. She hugs herself. There are goosebumps all along her arms. The little hairs stick up.
“Are you cold?” he asks her.
She seems startled by his voice. “A little.”
He’s aware that she has about fifty blankets stacked in the corner of her room, but he still asks, “Want my hoodie?”
Her lips curl into a soft smile. She nods.
Gladly, he takes it off. He was getting hot anyway, and he has a T-shirt underneath. He passes the hoodie to her.
She sniffs it first. “Oh, sorry, I wasn’t checking it to see if it’s clean or anything.” She’s adorable when she’s flustered. “You just smell... really good.”
Anakin turns away, biting back a stupid grin. “Obi-Wan uses expensive detergent.”
“Fancy,” she says with a laugh.
When she lifts her arms up, he turns back to watch her put on his clothes. The hoodie smothers her in its size. She’s much, much smaller than he is, and for some reason, he finds that ridiculously hot.
Hesitantly, he meets her eyes. He finds them already waiting for his. He shivers again. No one has ever looked at him like this before.
“It looks better on you,” he whispers.
She slowly shifts her body closer. “I doubt that.”
“It’s true, Padmé.”
Playfully, she rolls her eyes. “You’re just telling me that because you’re a nice boy.”
“Hardly. I’m nice to you. But that’s just because I’m absolutely...” He closes his mouth and presses his lips together. “I can’t finish that sentence.”
Padmé sits on top of her legs right against him. “Why not?”
Guilt eats at him. This isn’t okay. She has a boyfriend. He’s not the type of guy who gets with someone else’s girl. They shouldn’t be close, and he shouldn’t be leaning in to kiss her.
But he is.
And he kisses her. And she kisses him back.
Her tongue slides inside his mouth, and he pulls her on top of him. Her hands are in his hair, tugging really hard, but he’d go bald before he asked her to stop. And whatever pieces of his heart that were free before now belong solely to her.
Guess he is the type of guy who kisses someone else’s girl.
They’re still making out when she freezes up. He feels the sudden tension under his fingertips. She retreats, sitting back, wiping her mouth on his hoodie.
Anakin lies there trying to process what it all means.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” she whispers.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers back. He doesn’t know what else to say.