Chapter Text
It was a beautiful summer day in Hillwood. People were walking, children were playing, the birds were singing, and...a woman was yelling?
"Argh...Arnold! Damn it, where are you? It's time!" yelled Helga G. Pataki-Shortman.
“I’m going as fast as I can, honey!” Arnold P. Pataki-Shortman called back.
"Yeah, yeah, now take me to the hospital! Or should I give birth right here in the hallway?" Helga yelled.
“No, of course not!” Arnold replied.
Arnold helped Helga into the car and then climbed in himself. Yes, it's still the same car his grandfather drove. Arnold has cherished it and cared for it the whole time.
Helga moaned and complained the whole time they were driving. Then they got stuck in a traffic jam.
"This cannot be true right now?!" she yelled. "Criminy, I can't take this much longer!"
“Helga, please, I know this is hard for you, but please calm down!” Arnold whined.
"Yeah, yeah, it's easy for you to say!" Helga grumbled. "All you have to do is drive, but I'm here in labor right now!"
“I’m doing what I can, darling!” Arnold whimpered.
The traffic jam slowly cleared and Helga called out to him: “FULL SPEED NOW!”
He stepped on the accelerator and ignored all speed limits so as not to make Helga wait any longer.
Arriving at the hospital, HE, for a change, complained to HER: "Great, I've been caught speeding! This is going to be expensive!"
“I hope I’m worth that to you, aren’t I?” asked Helga.
Arnold sighed. He knew she didn't mean it. Pregnancy is hard, especially in the final stages.
“Of course, you know that!” he replied.
The situation escalated in the delivery room.
“THIS IS ALL YOUR DAMN FAULT!” Helga screamed loudly.
“Why is this my fault?” Arnold asked, horrified.
“YOU MADE ME PREGNANT, YOU IDIOT!” Helga yelled so loudly that the entire hospital could hear her.
“Hmmm, as far as I remember, you really enjoyed the process back then!” Arnold replied sarcastically.
"AAAAAAHHHH! Now is not the time to stand up to me, football head!" Helga screamed, tormented by immense pain.
“You have to push harder!” said the doctor.
“I’m already pushing like crazy!” Helga replied, but tried to comply.
Suddenly, Arnold screamed in pain. Helga had strained so hard while pushing that she broke his hand, which was holding her own.
“Ouch! Oh man, good thing we’re already at the hospital!” said Arnold.
Suddenly, a baby cried.
“There it is!” everyone present said together.
“It’s a girl!” said the doctor.
"Hello little Gerti!" Helga and Arnold said together in a gentle tone. They had long ago agreed on this name if the child was to be a girl.
“Isn’t she beautiful, Arnold?” asked Helga, her face beaming.
“Yes, she is, Helga!” Arnold replied, happier than he had ever been in his life.
“Arnold?” Helga asked shyly.
“Yes, honey?” he replied.
“The thing with your hand and that I yelled at you all day today...I'm sorry!” said Helga.
"Thanks, but that's okay. It's been a hard day for you!" he replied, smiling at her.
“I love you, Arnold!” said Helga and Arnold replied: “I love you too, Helga!”
“And we both love YOU, Gertie Pataki-Shortman!” they both raved together.