Chapter Text
Hal knew Bruce would be in the Bat-cave. It’s where he spends majority of his time these days.He just needed some company especially after what happened with Brainiac.
He knows they aren’t on the best terms but he just…misses him.He doesn’t have anywhere to go. Can you blame him?
Bruce was typing away at the computer with Brother Eye being on one of the monitors.
Sheesh, that thing still creeped Hal out.
“What do you want,Jordan?”
He wasn’t surprised that Bruce knows he’s behind him.
“Just needed some company,that’s all.”
Why was he suddenly feeling anxious?
“You’ve got Barry and Oliver.You could be with them.” Hal hated how curt Bruce’s reply was.
“Well,they’re busy with their partners.It’s not like I have anywhere else to go…”
Bruce turned around to face him.He’s still in his suit with the cowl up.His expression was guarded,squinting his eyes slightly at the hovering man.
He missed when Bruce used to look at him with fondness instead of whatever was happening right now.
“What do you really want,Hal?” Bruce said with an edge in his tone.
He’s fearless but being in this position was making him feel small and pathetic.He wanted to cower and run away but he stood his ground.
“…Can we talk?”
“What is there to talk about?”
“Why can’t you forgive me?”
Bruce looked at him like he was asking why the sky was blue.
“Have you seen your track record?”
Hal is not dumb ; he knows that he hurt a lot of people while being in the Regime and was complicit in many things. But he did his time,so why was Bruce still angry with him?
“I know I messed up and I learnt from my mistakes-“
“Those weren’t just mistakes,Hal.”
“I’m not proud of the person I was before.I’m trying to make up for them-“
“Being part of the Regime isn’t something you can just make up for.Everyone wasn’t safe under his rule.He ran the world like a dictator and you were there standing alongside him, even until the end.”
“You think I wanted it to end up like this? I didn’t have a say in everything that happened!”
“You were scared of him. You were afraid of ending up like Billy ; a casualty of war.”
“You can’t use my words against me-“
“I can and I will.That’s called holding someone accountable.It’s a foreign thing for Superman’s minions.”
“That’s not fair!”
Hal hated how whiny he sounded. Guardians, all he wanted was for things to go back to the way they were before.
“I can’t..I can’t risk my life.I had people that I love.” Hal weakly explained.
“So did Billy,Oliver,Lex and many more people.But yet,they still tried to stop him and died doing so.”
“What about Barry,huh?You forgave him.”
“I forgive him because he was the one who risked everything just to save the world.He was the catalyst for the end of the regime.He did his time and was actually remorseful about his actions.”
“So you don’t think I feel bad about my actions?”
“Your attitude says otherwise.” Hal felt his blood boiling.
“Seriously Bruce! What else do I gotta do to make you trust me again?!”
Bruce looked away,pondering about his next words.
“…How will I know that you won’t switch up on me again?”
“Bruce-“
“Answer the question,Jordan.” Bruce asked intimidatingly.
“I won’t...You’ve got to believe me.”
“How can I believe when you’ve proven me otherwise?”
“You know I can’t jeopardise your safety when he was going mad! All I did was-“
“What you did was betray the guardians and turned to cowardice.”
“I did all of this to protect you! He would kill you if he even got a whiff of your scent! I can’t lose you to him..”
“But you lost me the moment you turned a blind eye to his actions.You enabled his behaviour and cost me everything.”
“I needed to put up a front..”
“Did that include capturing and torturing my counterpart?”
That hit Hal like a bullet.He-
“I was following orders..”
“Were you? Or did you enjoy doing that to him because you’re just like Clark?”
Hal landed on the ground and strode towards the dark knight.He grabbed a fistful of the cape near the symbol on Bruce’s chest.
“Don’t compare me to him.What he’s done was way more fucked up.”
“Like as if you weren’t an active participant in the tyranny.”
“Bruce,you know I can’t let my guard down! I needed to protect you-“
“I didn’t need protection.I needed an ally.I needed someone who would be by my side even when everything has turned to hell.I’ve watched all of them die!”
“I did too! You weren’t the only one suffering-“
“I had to go into hiding because of him.I have to see Alfred’s dead body on the ground of the Bat cave and carry him to bury him next to my parents.You heard of what happened to Dick and Tim.” Bruce lamented.
“I don’t expect you to understand.You wanted to be the hero even if it meant making people shrink under your presence. You cared about being on the winning side until it came back to bite you in the ass.”
Hal let go of him,looking away in shame.He wanted to rebutted but deep down,Bruce was right.
“Bruce-“
“You left me for him!”The angered man pointed a finger at Hal.
“I had no one for years.You had no idea what it’s like to be in my shoes.I respected you..I loved you even.But you turned your back on me and made your bed. So,don’t expect me to be by your side to make you feel less lonely.” He sneered at the former yellow lantern.
Hal felt his heart sank to the soles of his feet.He was so used to running away from everything but he knew this time, he can’t.He hated it.
He always wanted to be a hero since young, just like his dad.But what would his dad think, seeing how his son turned out?
His mother would be disappointed in him as always.Jack still hated him and Jim welcomed him back but he could tell his younger brother was still scared of him.Hell,even Carol was still distrustful of him after grovelling to her a lot.
Hal hated himself.He hated the man that he has become.
He wasn’t the direct cause of everything but he still had blood on his hands ; the blood of friends and strangers alike.
He could feel his eyes stinging and sniffled.He gathered the courage to implore.
“What do you want me to do?” He looked at Bruce’s ice blue eyes,his vision slightly blurring.
“…It’s not about what I want,Hal.It’s about what you want to do to be trusted as a hero again.” Bruce mostly kept his composure but his shaky voice was making it harder to maintain it.
“I…I don’t know.”
“This is something you need to figure out on your own.” Hal racked his brain for a reply.
“Then…for what it’s worth,I’m sorry.For everything.” Hal whimpered to his ex lover. He let out a shaky breath before continuing.
“You’re right.I didn’t want to admit my faults because that’d mean I failed…in everyone and myself. I thought I was doing the right thing but at what cost?”
Hal looked up to see Bruce without his cowl.The iced out blues melted into something warm like a sunny sky.He could see tears pooling in his eyes,threatening to fall like a waterfall.
He wanted to reach out and wipe them away but he knew it’s not his place.He doesn’t deserve to touch the man standing in front of him.
Bruce blinked them away and turned to face the computer. Hal felt his heart breaking in his ribcage.
“I’ve got work to do.You can do whatever you want.Just don’t disturb me,Jordan.” Bruce slipped the mask on and kept his voice steady.
Hal bit the inside of his left cheek and turned to walk to the resting room in the cave, feeling hopeless and defeated.
“And Hal?”
“Yeah?”
“Kara and I managed to save the remaining cities.Turns out,they’re not permanently lost in the database.” Hal felt his cheeks were starting to get wet and a lump in this throat.
“Thank you,Bruce.” He choked out his gratitude.
He couldn’t see it but Bruce was also letting his tears fall.He can’t trust the Green Lantern yet but he would still do anything for him.Even he knew Hal doesn’t deserve to have his home destroyed.
“Don’t take second chances for granted,Hal.”