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Ilya passes Shane the ginger ale he had grabbed for him as he sits down beside him on the couch.
“Thanks.” Shane says, leaning back against the cushions, eyes still trained on the tv while they watched Canada's opening game of the IIHF world juniors against the USA. Ilya presses a soft kiss to Shane's shoulder, before settling back next to him. The holiday break would be done and tomorrow morning Shane would be headed back to Montreal, they would be apart again, but for now Shane was here, in Ottawa, on Ilya's couch, leaning into his side. For now they were together.
A player spotlight pops up, two of team Canada's defencemen, stating their origin of playing for Calgary's AHL team together. The first kid, Trenton Claye catches Ilya's eyes first.
He points to the kid, “Ha, another boring Canadian with glasses,” He pulls Shane in closer, “you are not the only one, Мой холодильник.”
“Um…” Shane thinks for a second, “Fridge? And my glasses are for reading, he wears them on the ice. I didn't know you were allowed to do that.”
“Refridgerator,” Ilya corrects, “And I don’t think there is a rule against seeing, Hollander.”
“No, I just mean nobody does that.” Shane muses, “not practical.”
“Maybe he is special.” Ilya shrugs as much as he can, and then he notices the second kid on the screen, “I saw article about that one.”
Ilya isn't looking at Shane's face but can imagine it screwing up, “Reed Winter? Is he about to come replace us?”
“No, no,” Ilya shakes his head. “He is defenceman and he is sneaky, he is not us. He is queer though.”
“Hes gay?” Shane asks, “Openly?”
“He says he is Queer, not Gay. Yes, openly.” The screen takes both players off, returning to the action on the ice, where one of Ottawa's AHL players is taking the faceoff, “he says he has never come out, cause he should not have to.”
“I mean,” Shame hums, "It's a good sentiment, wouldn't work for us though, we have too much out in the world to just… be, without being under scrutiny.”
“Is true,” Ilya rests his hand in Shane's hair, "Should not have to be.”
Ilya can feel Shane stiffen under his arm, “but it is.”
Ilya knows perhaps it was a bit unfair, mentioning that as a possibility to Shane. Ilya knows that the Centaurs would probably be safe for him to come out to, they love Harris and are super comfortable with his sexuality, but he also knows not with the rumors around of Shane's sexuality after he came out to his team that likely people would catch on. He thinks back to one of Winter's quotes in the article.
“You don’t have to come out if you don’t hide in the first place. Coming out is just another way Queer people are supposed to explain themselves, like they are constantly. Straight people don’t have to announce they are straight, so why should I, or anyone else, have to announce that we aren’t. Queer people like myself won’t ever be considered ‘normal’ as long as we have to come out.”
You don't have to come out if you don't hide in the first place.” And Ilya and Shane have done enough hiding for a lifetime, and they will continue to. Ilya just wishes it never had to be like that, but one day. One day they won't have to hide.
~~~
Reed Winter and Trenton Claye didn't just disappear after juniors. Winter was drafted to New York, undoubtedly in part by Scott Hunter, and Claye was sent not far to Toronto. Ilya didn't mean to keep tabs on them both, but he paid attention to Winter, seeking to maybe try and recruit the kid for Game Changers, give poor Ryan Price a break on teaming defence. But wherever Winter was mentioned, Claye wasn't far behind.
Each of their achievements linked together through being known as the ‘separated bestfriends’ of hockey, it was almost familiar how one couldn't get acknowledged without including the other, but out of collaboration, not a grand rivalry. When Troy was traded to the Centaurs he made a comment that Claye was the only other player who outwardly pushed back against Kent, he just hadn't been caught making a scene about it… yet.
Eventually his phone picked up on him reading a few articles on them and sent him more. Even once when Yuna and David had been over, Yuna had mentioned how cute she thought those two's friendship was. Photos of them greeting each other before playing against each other circled, hugging and congratulating each other, Claye had been caught a few times poking Winter in the face, and mic’ed up on ice conversations between the two had been circling the internet. He did find information on Claye’s apparently really public relationship with his girlfriend, known in her own right on social media. Something between them just felt off to Ilya the few times he had seen content of them together, not like they didn't deeply care for each other… They just reminded him of Shane and Rose a bit too much.
The day of the pride night game against Toronto was eventful, for too many reasons, but one that seemingly only Ilya picked up on was a sneaky conversation Claye had after the game with Troy. When Ilya pressed Troy for details he quickly realized he wouldn’t be getting more than the bare minimum, which was… suspicious to say the least. But the two rookies had a remarkable season, both being nominated for Rookie of the Year at the end of the season which Ilya knows is well deserved.
~~~
The awards are great as always, despite the pressure of knowing he will interact with the commissioner at one point, the commissioner who is definitely upset that Shane and Ilya didn't decide to make up a lie about the video. Ilya is still mad at Hayden, but Shane forgives him, and deep down Ilya does too. Now that the actual awards are done and they are just in the post award party phase, Ilya has just been wandering and mingling. Shane suggested maybe they don't spend all night close to each other so as to not make anyone uncomfortable or risk being unbearable in public. Ilya thinks that's dumb, but he loves Shane so he listens to him, he knows it will take time for him to be more comfortable in the open, but now they have time, plenty of it.
Ilya spots Luca across the room at one of the round tables, laughing with the other nominees for Rookie of the Year. Luca didn't win, but none of the kids at the table seemed bitter with each other, instead laughing like they were all old friends. Ilya takes a quick picture to send to Harris for the Centaurs social media or something, he's sure Harris would appreciate it regardless.
Ilya picks up on the last bit of their conversation at the table before he heads over, Luca laughing as he declares, “no fighting each other!" to which the others only stop cheering in agreement when Winter says something Ilya doesn't catch, before falling into his own giggles that the others join. Ilya tries not to notice that Winter and Clayes chairs seem much closer together than everyone else's, so he tells himself he doesn't notice it. When he gets closer he catches a glimpse of something the winner– Blake Griffin, who scored a hat trick in the Stanley Cup finals, his team at Tampa still lost, but it was an impressive feat regardless– has just slipped onto his lap.
“What is that?” Ilya asks, pointing at the flask as he comes up behind Luca’s chair, the Rookies all freeze at the sight of him, and it never gets old. “Give me that.” He nods his head away in a message to hand it over. Griffin sheepishly hands it over, to which Ilya can’t avoid his grimace. “Really?” He asks Griffin.
“I'm sorry!” He says, stammering and definitely not sober, “I just–”
“You should be sorry!” Ilya says, closing the offensive bottle and tucking it into his suit jacket's inner pocket, “You didn't even bring the good stuff! Give me minute, I will fix this.” All the work to go about getting alcohol underage in the United States and sneaking it into the awards and not even bring the good vodka? A disgrace!
Ilya walked away, first to the bathroom to dump this monstrosity, his second destination the bar where he knows they keep the good vodka solely because they know Ilya will drink it. As he headed off his mind did drift back to how close two rookies in particular were sitting, he risks a glance back to see all the Rookies laughing together again, Claye and Winters heads bowed so close they almost touch, stopping laughing to catch their breath, before making eye contact and falling apart again. Something stirs in Ilya's stomach and at that moment he is so glad to see Troy and Shane chatting just beside the bar.
“Hello!” He calls as he settles up beside them, “good evening?”
“It’s been… interesting.” Shane says.
“I second that.” Troy takes a sip of his beer, “now I know what Scott Hunter felt in 2017.” He sighs.
Shane spots the flask Ilyas pulled out as he reaches behind himself to grab the good vodka, “what’s that? I know that’s not yours.”
“Nope!” Ilya smiles, “it’s the rookies, snuck in vodka but not even the good kind. I am just helping.”
“Ilya!” Shane hisses, “you are giving underaged kids alcohol?!"
Ilya shrugs, “they are adults! Can drink in Canada! Not my fault Americans have dumb rules.”
Shane just sighs as Ilya starts to fill the flask up, not before taking a sip of his own out of the bottle.
“What’s this?” Ilya turns to see Scott Hunter approaching, his own wine glass looking like it needs a refill. “Secret club meeting?”
“What secret club?” Ilya asks, “the not-old club?”
“Very funny Rozanov.” Hunter rolls his eyes.
“No, it’s the commissioner-hates-us club.” Troy snorts. “See-how-long-until-our-careers-are-forced-to-end, club.”
“We have many years left, Barret, do not worry.” Ilya puts the vodka back behind the bar, dropping the closed flask back into his pocket.
“It really is ‘the commissioner-hates-us’ club, huh” Shane mumbles, “I have no idea what next season will look like.”
“It will be okay.” Ilya pats Shane’s shoulder, “he cannot hate us for long, we make him lots of money.”
“He is here though.” Hunter says, “so maybe keep that down.” He laughs, and then something seems to dawn on his face. “Here,” he pulls out his phone, “give me your numbers.”
“Wow Hunter, I thought you were a happily taken man!” Ilya says as he takes the phone, “what will Mr. Kip say!”
“Fuck you Rozanov.” Hunter scoffs. But they all put their numbers into Scott’s phone, “I am needed elsewhere, I will see you guys later.”
Ilya goes and returns the vodka to the kids after saying a quick goodbye to Troy and Scott, and whispering something dirty in his fiancé's ear. Few minutes later he checks his phone to see,
You’ve been added to a group chat, “the commissioner hates us club.”
~~~
The evening is winding down and Ilya finds himself finally just with Shane, sitting down at a table while Shane sips his third ginger ale of the night, and Ilya switched to coke an hour and a half ago. He did check to see who was in this “the commissioner hates us club” group chat, finding himself, Scott, Shane, Troy, and two numbers he didn’t recognize, he does get a gist of the point of the chat so did send a quick invite out to Ryan Price, not wanting to drop him in with no warning and overwhelm him. Ilya and Shane aren’t talking, but it's nice to just sit together at an event and not have people turning heads, though they still are, but for a better reason than because the world believes they hate each other.
That's when Ilya sees them across the room, Claye, who is definitely drunk, throwing his arm around Winter's shoulder. Claye is laughing at something, while putting most of his weight on Winter, and while he does look annoyed, Ilya can see something else. The way Winter rolls his eyes as he walks with Claye out of the room looks eerily similar to every time Shane has rolled his eyes at Ilya calling him boring.
Ilya bumps Shane on the shoulder, “look at them.”
Shane squints his eyes, seemingly not getting it, “Yeah, you got the rookies drunk, Ilya.”
“They were drunk before, and one of them isn't." Winter looks way too stable to be drunk, and Ilya doesn't recall him ever actually taking a sip out of the flask, “They are super close.”
“Yes Ilya, they are known to be best friends.” Shane shakes his head, “I don’t see your point.” Shane watches Ilya raise an eyebrow, he scans his face and then his eyes go wide when he catches the implication. “Ilya!”
“What!” He shrugs.
“You can't just–” Shane drops his voice, “you can’t just insinuate things like that, and doesn’t Claye have a super public long term girlfriend?”
“How do you know this?”
“Because I am around you and I know you've been creepy internet stalking them!” Shane hisses, “maybe it wasn't intentional, but you can’t just imply things like that.”
“Imply things like what?” Troy's voice comes from behind them, he sits down beside Ilya, “I was just about to leave and came to say goodnight, but now I’m curious.”
“You just want to give Harris more gossip.” Ilya shakes his head.
“Ilya thinks those two rookies are secretly together.” Shane gestured over to where Winter is not trying not to laugh at the kid draped over his shoulders despite being much shorter than him.
“No!” Ilya shakes his head, “Not together, but…” he clicks his tongue.
“Help me tell him to stop.” Shane says to Troy, “one of them literally has a girlfriend.”
“I mean…” Troy goes deep in thought, “Claye did say something weird to me after the pride night game, I thought it was just an attempt at being supportive but maybe…”
“Rose Landry.” Ilya says quietly to Shane, who sighs deeply, rubbing a hand down his face with a groan.
“I was going through something, Ilya, you know this!” He says into his hands
“Maybe he is ‘going through something’ too.” Ilya just shrugs his shoulders. “I am not saying crazy things, just what my eyes are seeing.”
“I don’t want to speculate, not too loudly either.” Tory shakes his head, “Claye is on the Guardians, and I know they are getting a new coach and Kent–” he spits Kent's name though his teeth– “is gone, but still.”
“Okay, fine,” Shane says, “this is the end of the speculation, it's not our place.” Before Ilya can say anything he adds, “And NO meddling.” He pokes at Ilya's chest, “not our place.”
“No meddling,” Ilya agrees, “let them figure out for themselves.”
“IF,” Troy adds, “there is anything to figure out. Guys can have super close touchy friendships too.”
“Yes, yes,” Ilya sighs. “If.”
~~~
Shane sighs on Ilya's chest that night in the hotel room, gently stroking a finger up and down between his pecs. Ilya has always loved post-awards sex, they both get so worked up and after they are both so worn out that they can just melt together in bed.
“I love you.” Ilya presses a kiss into Shane's hair.
“Love you too.” He hums back.
“I am glad we are out, even if it is not how we wanted, we do not have to hide anymore.” Ilya lifts his hand up to run it through Shane's hair, feeling it soft under his fingers.
“Me too. I liked just sitting with you.” Shane's body grows more and more calm under Ilya's touch. He can fall asleep here, in their shared hotel room, and not have to worry about sneaking out in the morning.
“I liked your face when I told you I was going to—” Ilya is interrupted by Shane’s hand over his mouth.
“Saying it in public is worse than sexting me in public,” he removes his hand, “I love how I can sleep here tonight, and wake up in the morning here, in a hotel.”
“Like the old times?” Ilya asks.
“No,” Shane shakes his head, which chases out a yawn, “better.”
“Yes.” Ilya agrees, “better,”