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Andrew didn’t always go to him for sex. In fact, sex was occasional with Dennis.
The first time Andrew had spotted the man late one evening near a club, he thought that Dennis was just another clubber, another person in a sea of strangers. Until his eyes caught sight of money being exchanged and Dennis was pulled into an alleyway by another man.
From where he was propped against his truck, waiting for his brothers to finish getting their dicks wet in the club, Andrew watched that alleyway keenly. Was it a drug deal? Was it actually sex work? He wasn’t completely stupid when it came to this shit, he knew even men sold their bodies like the hookers would. But, from his own experience with men – and none consenting – Andrew couldn’t imagine why a man would resort to prostitution.
It hurt. It hurt a lot. At least women had an easier way in, right?
Or maybe he was wrong. Maybe Andrew actually didn’t know shit about sex and sex worker. He had only a few personal experiences that were not taken without his permission, and most made Andrew feel like there was something wrong with him. Women had looked at him like he was a freak, like they didn’t actually want to sleep with him but felt they had to. They probably did, Smurf paying them as they left the house. The only positive experience was with Cath, but Andrew knew she regretted it the way he never could, dirtying the intimate moment in his mind.
Sex never went right for Andrew. And it didn’t help that he didn’t like to be touched by anyone who wasn’t his family, and even then he hated it at times.
So, it was a bit of a surprise for himself that when he watched the stranger leave the alley way, limp in his step, Andrew decided to approach the dark area. Passing the limping man, there was a faint sheen of sweat across his reddened face and an expression of smug pleasure. Andrew scrunched his nose at the scent of sex that wafted off of him as he looked into the alley.
There was a shadowed figure leaning against the brick work, head tilted down and flipping through cash. Andrew couldn’t see what the prostitute looked like, but he was short. Not thin, there was a decent broadness to his shoulders, but Andrew didn’t notice anything else beyond that.
And the guy startled when he looked up to spot Andrew lurking in the entrance, quickly shoving his wad of cash into his pocket. Mouth twisting in thought, Andrew hesitated before approaching. The guy stepped back, obviously looked ready to bolt, so Andrew asked low, “How much?”
A pause. It gave Andrew enough time to get close enough to take in his appearance. The streetlight barely illuminated the shadows around them. Light from a window a few stories up helped somewhat, but even then, Andrew was curious to see the colour of wide eyes, to feel short curls and see the shade of them. He was pretty, from what Andrew could tell.
And skittish.
“50$ for the mouth, 100$ for anal. no bruising the face.”
The voice was young, but still with enough drop to signal the guy wasn’t a child. Andrew knew he was fucked in the head, but he wouldn’t go so far as to sleep with a kid. There was a faint twang to it too, something not from California. Tilting his head to the side, Andrew contemplated whether he really was going to fuck a male prostitute, before deciding, yeah. Why not?
“You fucked anyone tonight?”
A soft shake of the head, “Only been out for an hour.”
Andrew reached up to tug at one of the curls that stuck out from under the guy’s ear. It was soft. Wrapped around his finger naturally. This close, he could feel the faint breath puffing quickly against the exposed skin above the collar of his shirt. It smelt vaguely minty, and realised that the guy had a mint in his mouth. It made the idea of kissing him more appealing, but Andrew still couldn’t help recoiling at the thought of kissing a mouth that was just wrapped around a cock that wasn’t his own.
“Got a place?” Andrew asked next, “Or do you fuck here?”
A slow exhale, “You gonna murder me if we go to a motel?” Trepidation just barely covered by humour.
Lips twitching, the older man replied, “Only if you rob me in my sleep.”
The guy chuckled faintly, and in the motion, the dim light glinted across his eyes to show genuine amusement, “Sounds like we have a deal.” A hand then slipped into Andrew’s, and he was too curious to pull away, letting the prostitute lead him out of the alleyway and back onto the street.
Glancing over his shoulder, he asked Andrew, “Got a car?”
Andrew didn’t reply, startled by the blond curls. They weren’t a true blond, dirty like sand or dust had gotten caught up in the colour. But it looked golden in the streetlights. And his eyes were an unfathomable blue.
He was pretty.
There was a tug at his hand, and Andrew answered by jerking his head towards his truck. His brothers could make their own way home. They have been for the last three years he was in prison. Following his line of sight, the prostitute pulled him along. When they entered, Andrew asked, “You got a name?”
The guy shrugged, sending a coy glance under his lashes that only just about disguised his nervousness, “Call me what you want.”
Andrew turned to narrow his eyes, “That’s not what I asked.”
He faltered, surprised as he looked at Andrew like he was ready to bolt. How did his eyes get wider than they already were? Then, licking his lips, he finally offered, “Dennis.” It sounded like the truth.
“’M Andrew,” The older man said, before turning on the truck and throwing it into gear. Only fair. Besides, he wanted Dennis to say his name as they fucked.
Getting a motel was easy. Getting Dennis to shower was difficult, mainly due to being wary of Andrew harming him in a vulnerable position or stealing his well earned money. But he managed to sway Dennis into cleaning up by joining him.
Under the florescent light of the bathroom, Dennis appeared before him in a less sensual haze that the dimly lit street glow had given, but it didn’t make him any less beautiful. More real, perhaps, as his hair flattened from the water and cheeks flushed from the heat. Less untouchable. Which was perfect, because he wanted to map every inch of the soft skin.
Andrew wondered when the clock began, as he touched and stroked along nude flesh. Did it begin when they struck the deal in the alleyway? Did it begin when they entered the motel? Or did it begin now, as Andrew stroked his hand tentatively down his waist. Dennis had oddly thick muscles for a man that looked dainty at first glance. The older man enjoyed the next moment of tracing the faint definition.
And Dennis returned the sentiment. The smaller hands were calloused from years of hard labour, it had Andrew questioning, a touch breathless by the arousal that was tingling through him, “What do you do outside of selling yourself?”
Blinking away water droplets, Dennis replied quietly with a tiny hint of pride in his voice, “I’m a med student. Graduating in a couple months.”
Running a hand up to cup the side of Dennis’ neck, Andrew scoffed, “Doctors normally struggle for cash?”
“Only the ones with massive student loans.” Was the cheeky response, as Dennis leant in and pressed a slow, hesitant kiss to Andrew’s lips. It was sweet. Sweet like Andrew didn’t deserve but always craved. From the hands that gently cradled his face, smoothing thumbs across his cheek bones, to the way Dennis’ body pressed up against his. It was all sweet. Sex had never felt sweet. It was always fast, always frantic, always demanding.
Holding him close by the hips, Andrew could already tell he wasn’t going to allow this to be a one time thing.
Andrew never had much control over his life. The only time anything felt mildly bearable, was either when he was cleaning, when he was planning a job, when he was skateboarding, or when he was far away from any of his family members. He loved them, but he hated them too. Watching the sea made him wonder about other countries, other states. How far could he run, before he was completely free of the blood that tied him to Oceanside? There was no loyalty to the city, only to the few people he cared about.
Now, he had one more thing to add to the tiny list of things that were his.
Dennis.
For just a few hours, Andrew was able to escape his life and the world, curled up with his head in Dennis’ lap as they watched TV or when the med student studied. For just a few hours, Andrew could be touched without feeling nausea churning heavy in his gut. Because if anyone knew about wanted and unwanted touches, it was whores.
Andrew liked the fingers that ran through his hair, liked the kisses pressed to his skin, liked how his mind went quiet in a good way when all his senses were surrounded by Dennis. His scent, a faint pine and citrus and clean aroma that always made his mouth water. His touch, never painful unless it was teeth nipping skin or nails dragging down his back. His voice, mellow and teasing or low and gentle, depending on what the situation called for. Though, Andrew tended to enjoy the way his words would pitch and stutter off into moans when being fucked.
He liked that Dennis made everything disappear with just a gentle caress or a bright smile. There was no jobs to worry about, no Smurf’s manipulations to watch out for. No brothers cajoling, mocking, demanding. It was just Dennis and the motel room. Andrew didn’t care that he was paying Dennis to care about him for a few hours, because those few hours were bliss.
“I’m not going to do this forever, y’know.” Dennis commented lightly from the rare position of laying across Andrew, head pillowed on his lap. The older man was busy staring at soft skin and the tiny space between his teeth as he talked about his current rotation in the pediatric ward of the hospital.
“Do what?” Andrew murmured, entranced by the many colours of blue in his eyes.
“Sell myself.”
Andrew stared, hand pausing from where he had been tracing a finger across Dennis’ arm. Was the world shattering around him, or was it all in his mind?”
“I’m going to get out of Oceanside,” Dennis declared, eyes bright with the future in his mind, “I’ve applied all over the place, but I’m hoping for Pittsburgh. It’s where I wanted to go originally, but didn’t get accepted. I’ve got a lot of money saved up now, and I can definitely rent a place as the pay checks start coming in.”
Reality shuddered into the room, the dream space of solace crumbling as Andrew realised that he hadn’t been Dennis’ only customer. It was stupid. Of course he had other customers. There were those times he had texted Dennis to meet up, only for him to either decline or offer a different time. Andrew kept his mind in blissful ignorance, imagining he was just busy with his med student stuff, and not busy with other men.
Rarely was he able to call anything his. And Andrew once again got too greedy and thought he could have something that was never going to be his. He had played himself, going up against the world that never allowed Andrew to be happy.
“Andrew?”
He sucked in a sharp breath, not having realised he stopped breathing. The pulsing of his heart was rapid and loud in his ears. His eyes pricked painfully, an ache crawling up his throat, and he knew he was close to crying. Andrew caught Dennis’ gaze as the younger man sat up, cupping his cheek. “Are you alright?”
The man stared, intent on memorising the face so close to his. The curls that played across his forehead and brushing his ears. The way his perpetual eye bags disappeared every time he smiled. How his irises were layers of different hues of blue that Andrew could spend our exploring. He wouldn’t be able to keep Dennis. Why did he think that he could?
“When are you leaving?” Andrew rasped, leaving out the ‘me’ he nearly tacked on at the end.
Dennis frowned, a worried pull to his brows, “Not for a few more months. I haven’t graduated yet.”
Squeezing his eyes close, Andrew ignored the anger that flared in his chest as he leant in to rest his head against Dennis’ shoulder. The younger man held him close, hand stroking through his hair. It didn’t feel as soothing this time. Only a reminder that it was temporary. That Andrew was temporary in Dennis’ life.
Biting his lips to force away the whine that tried to break free, Andrew could feel the invisible count down begin.
“Do you have a brother?”
Dennis blurted this question out during a moment of quiet. Night shift was another beast compared to day shift in the Pitt, but it had him recalling fond evenings of a few hours escaping his shitty car he had been sleeping in during the last year of his rotations. A few hours of a proper bed, of a warm room, of food in his belly, and in good company.
Never would he be proud of how low he stooped for money, but Dennis wasn’t ashamed either. He survived in his own ways, and the fact that he never ended up as a murder statistic was a win in his books. So, Dennis did not recall his stint as a sex worker with any form of affection, barring the one customer.
His favourite customer.
His favourite customer who resembled Dennis’ current attending.
It was something that nearly had him crashing into a cart when Dennis first caught sight of a side profile that was so startlingly familiar, thrown back to months ago in California. Andrew had disappeared on him, never turning up to Dennis’ frequent haunting spots, never appearing on a crash cart in the ER, never seen on streets or the beach or anywhere. Dennis had searched for him everywhere.
Nothing.
Maybe he had been an idiot, becoming a cliché and falling for a customer. Or was it meant to be the other way around? Either way, Dennis had felt his heart break when Andrew up and disappeared. He must have said something, had done something, wrong to cause the man to flee. Maybe he got tired of Dennis.
People always got bored of Dennis. The only time they weren’t was when he sold his body to survive med school. But he had thought Andrew was different. Yeah, he was paying for Dennis’ time, but it wasn’t just sex. It was nights holding one another as they slept. It was gentle affection when one or the other was exhausted from their life.
It was love.
Or, it was love for Dennis.
He loved how singular he felt under Andrew’s unwavering gaze, how Dennis felt like there was no one else in the world but them. He loved the way Andrew would whine when they broke from a kiss, leaning back in and desperate for more. He loved how much Andrew handed over the proverbial reins when they had sex, even when Dennis could tell that giving up control was a terrifying prospect for the other man. He loved feeling safe. And Dennis was bereft without Andrew, heart aching for months since the man became a ghost. He did not regret leaving Oceanside. But he regretted leaving behind Andrew, never knowing and always wondering what had happened to his favourite.
Doctor Abbot stared at him. It was uncomfortably familiar. It didn’t have that same wild animal intensity, but it still felt dangerous. Finally, after a long moment of eyes locked and Dennis holding back the urge to squirm, he nodded, “Yeah. I got three. Four if you count the adopted one.”
“Oh,” Dennis breathed out, shoving his hands in his pockets so he didn’t so something stupid like bite or pick at them, “They alright?” He tried to go for causal and completely missed.
Doctor Abbot cocked his head to the side, straightening up from where he was leant over to type at the computer. With arms crossed, the man asked low and firm, “How do you know Andrew?”
Of course the man jumped to the correct conclusion. Dennis inwardly cursed as he struggled to keep eye contact. Andrew’s gaze was never this hard to meet. Maybe it’s because he was an open book of emotions to Dennis. Maybe it was because Dennis never felt scared around him barring their first meeting. Who knew. Certainly not him, because the man up and left Dennis like he meant fucking nothing to Andrew. Like the shared vulnerability and intimacy was inconsequential and didn’t change Dennis’ entire world.
Now, with a heart broken and still clinging to hope, he was faced with an attending who did not look like he was going to accept some brushed off statement. Did Dennis tell the truth? Skirt around it? Lie?
“I was in Oceanside, for college. Or, well, a town over, but yeah…” He trailed off awkwardly, already telling that wouldn’t be enough.
“And you met Andrew.” Doctor Abbot stated, dry and disbelieving, “Do I need to worry about any robbery or drug dealing in you history?”
“What? No! God, no!” Dennis exclaimed, hastily explaining, “I never did any of that! I mean, I kinda knew he was doing some shady shit, but never actually mentioned it.”
Sort of. Andrew had turned up with bruises and aching limbs. He was always pulling cash out of a wallet in an age of cards and apple pay. He never worked but sometimes had to turn down meet-ups because he had ‘a job that night’. It was suspicious, but Dennis decided that unless Andrew was actively caught murdering a person, he was fine not knowing. However, what Doctor Abbot just implied gave some closure to the mystery that was Andrew.
Did that mean Andrew’s last name was Abbot? That was kind of a shit deal...names with an alliteration only worked a handful of times.
“So, if not through work,” The attending slowly responded, eyes narrowed suspiciously, “Then how?”
Neck hot, Dennis ducked his head and finally took out his hands to pick at the skin around his thumb nail. “Just...casually.”
“That doesn’t explain shit, kid.”
Exhaling hard, Dennis looked around, before shuffling closer to quietly state, “Sex work.”
There was a very long, very heavy pause. Dennis recalled how his last few shifts had gone, where he believed everything was looking up for him. Such hope. Maybe he should return back to Broken Bow and become a farmer like his parents had wanted of him, because he was obviously going to be fired-
“Christ, kid,” Doctor Abbot groaned, rubbing at his eyes, “Seriously?”
“Look,” Dennis started, shoulders drawn up tight, “I don’t talk about it for obvious reasons, but things were hard and I couldn’t get help from my family because they have their own financial issues. It was just to get by before moving here. I met Andrew, and he was...nice to me.”
Scrubbing a hand through his hair, Doctor Abbot pursed his lips as he stared at Dennis like he was trying to solve a problem. Dennis hated that he was now a problem for his attending. He liked Doctor Abbot. Always really good at letting him try things and feel confident that if he was going to do something wrong, the man would jump in and help.
“Andrew is fine.” Doctor Abbot said, Dennis brightening at the news immediately. It felt like a tossed out life line, like they were going to be able to politely ignore the fact that the attending’s intern had been a prostitute. What a kind man. Dennis knew he liked Doctor Abbot for a reason. “He’s actually planning to move, said he needed to get out of Oceanside.”
Grinning, Dennis couldn’t help the relief in his voice as he replied, “That’s great! He didn’t say much, but I kinda figured he was going through a rough patch.”
The other man let out an amused snorted, “Try a rough life. But yeah, I’m glad he’s leaving too. Need me to give you his number? You two could chat-”
“Oh, God don’t.” Dennis begged, face completely hot. The thought of calling up Andrew, the man who had left him heartbroken and waiting around like a fucking idiot, only to hear that the man wanted nothing to do with him? Mortifying. A humiliation ritual. “He completely disappeared on me one day, I figured I had done something wrong. I just wanted to check that Andrew was alive and well.”
Hands landing on his hips, Doctor Abbot raised his brows doubtfully, “You sure?”
Dennis nodded quickly, “Yeah, I’m just...I’m just relieved he’s okay.” And the smile that played on his lips was one he couldn’t help. It was small, tentative, and sad. Andrew was alive and getting out of Oceanside. That information would be able to tide him over for weeks. He left Doctor Abbot after that, allowing Doctor Shen drag him into a trauma to distract himself from thoughts of Andrew.
‘Hey Andrew, it’s Jack. Just calling to ask about your moving situation. I’ve got a spare room at my place for you to crash in, if you want. I also met a friend of yours. He asked how you’re doing, told him you’re fine. I gotta know though, man. What made you think hooking up with a med student sex worker was a bright idea? I mean, yeah I guess he’s cute, but Andrew, what the hell? Anyway, if you decide to come this way, let me know. I’m sure Dennis will be happy to see you too.’