Work Text:
The floor of the plane is suddenly gone
As if it simply stopped existing beneath his feet
The body reacts first
Feet searching for weight that is no longer there
Fingers trying to close around air
As if there were still something to hold on to
Only then does the thought arrive
Too late
Unclear
There was no plan B
There was no way back
There was no rescue
Hands slide through nothing
Along the edges of chaos
The heart beats once
Twice
Three times
Too fast
He doesn’t scream
There isn’t enough air left in his lungs
He is angry
Angry at the hands that failed to catch him
Angry at the attack that pushed him from the plane
Angry at the Administrator for sending him on this mission
Angry that he is completely alone now
Angry that he can’t do anything
Angry at the world for failing him at this exact moment
The mind begins to catch up with the body’s shock
Tears the mask from his face
The only thing he hears is silence
But even it turns into an unsettling rush of wind in his ears
The sound of silence burns
His breathing breaks apart
Unable to find a rhythm
Maybe he can still save himself somehow
It is the only thing he thinks about
A sweet lie he still tries to believe
He tries to analyze his position
The angle of the fall
The distance
He tries to make a choice that does not exist
Because there is no rescue
There is no hope
There is no sudden miracle waiting to help him
He is simply falling
His aching body rushing faster and faster
As if trying to leave the thoughts behind
He checks his belt
Searching for anything that could help
Checks everything
But there is nothing
No weapon
No rescue
Only a small lighter
A thought appears
Fire is safe
Bright
Familiar
Fire is salvation
The thought disappears as quickly as it came
It makes no sense
Frustration fills his chest
The body knows what the mind refuses to admit
It has known it since the moment the floor disappeared
The body always knows first, while the mind tries to catch up
Tries to save
Tries to offer false hope
Tries to take a breath as the ground slowly draws closer
Then a brief thought appears
It will hurt
He sniffles and imagines his end
Images of a twisted body
He shakes his head
He tries to count his breaths, but the air refuses to be controlled
Everything slips out of reach
The weight of remaining in readiness for death
This has lasted too long
Far too long
As if the falling never wanted to end
Thoughts begin
Thoughts end
The brain is too slow for this weight
Thoughts without reason
Memories without meaning
Old scents he longs for
The sharp smell of fuel
The sleeve of someone’s jacket
A stupid joke from before the mission
Why does this return
Why now
He thinks of nothing specific
Only of those small, ungraspable details that haunt his mind
He does not think of great things
Yet the thoughts keep circling
Never forming anything that could be called a story
Then fear begins
And it tightens around his throat
He swallows
Thoughts of others try to break through
Their names and faces, too heavy to hold
Will they miss him
Will they even know what happened
Will they regret it
Will they feel sad at all
Maybe they will celebrate getting rid of him
Maybe they have been waiting for this
Maybe this is their chance to find someone more competent in his place
Or maybe they will feel nothing
Maybe it will be indifferent to them
Or maybe they will shed at least one tear for him
A tear for a lost life that will never return
For a presence that carried joy and is about to disappear
For support that will never come
For inconveniences
And he keeps falling
And stops feeling anything at all
He is tired
Fingers loosen from lack of strength
He no longer thinks
Thinking takes too much energy
He just wants to disappear
He does not wonder what comes next
There is no next anymore
There is only now
And now is drawing closer
Cruelly so
There is no final thought
There is no last sentence
There is no time for it
The awareness of the coming pain is enough
The colors are already close
Pyro closes his eyes