Chapter Text
The cold floor was the only thing Severus Snape could feel.
Stone pressed against his back, and somewhere far away, he was dimly aware of the dampness seeping through his robes. Each shallow breath dragged more blood up his throat. His vision had blurred long ago, the world had narrowed to the rough ceiling beams above him and the faint flicker of candlelight that danced across them.
The children were gone.
Potter, Granger, and Weasley had fled the Shrieking Shack, leaving him behind. They likely believed he was already dead, or perhaps they had wanted to give him privacy in his final moments. Snape did not blame them. In truth, he was grateful.
He would rather die alone than in front of his students, those same children he had watched grow up year after year at Hogwarts. He had never wanted them to see him like this, broken and weak. Bleeding out on a filthy floor.
It was better this way.
His head lolled to one side. The pain was fading now, replaced by a strange heaviness that crept through his limbs. Snape had never expected a happy ending. He had known, for years, that his story would not end in redemption or gratitude. Death, despite all appearances, was likely the only mercy he had left.
Did he expect to die like this?
No.
But then again, had anything in his life ever gone the way Severus Snape expected? He could no longer feel his fingers. His breathing had become little more than a faint rattle in his chest. The edges of his thoughts began to dissolve, slipping away.
He did not know when the dark spots behind his eyes became total darkness. He did not know when he stopped breathing. But the final thought that drifted through his mind fragile and almost peaceful.
It’s good that it’s over.
A sharp, familiar laugh cut through the darkness.
Snape’s eyes snapped open. Light stabbed painfully at them, bright and overwhelming. For a moment, he could do nothing but blink, disoriented and confused.
“Leave him alone!” The voice rang out clear and furious.
Before Snape could comprehend anything, he felt himself hit the ground. Not cold stone this time, but soft earth and grass beneath his hands. Voices surrounded him. Some were laughing, others arguing or whispering.
His heart hammered wildly as he pushed himself up onto his elbows, blinking in disbelief. Instinctively, his hand flew to his throat. No pain, no blood, not even torn flesh. His fingers trembled as they touched smooth, unbroken skin.
“What...?” He whispered hoarsely. He looked down at himself and froze. He was wearing school robes. Old and worn school robes. His sleeve is freshly stitched. Snape stared at it as though it might suddenly transform into something else.
Slowly he lifted his head.
Hogwarts stretched around him, but not the Hogwarts he remembered. Not the battered, anxious castle of wartime. The grounds were bright and alive, filled with the easy chatter of students.
Students who looked… different. Yet painfully familiar. Snape blinked rapidly, trying to force his mind to make sense of what he was seeing. He was still alive, that alone was impossible.
Something was terribly, horribly wrong.
“Severus, are you all right?” The voice came from directly above him. Slowly, almost afraid to move, he lifted his gaze, and felt the world tilt on its axis. “L-Lily?” He breathed.
Lily Evans stood over him, red hair bright in the sunlight, green eyes filled with concern. She was leaning toward him, one hand outstretched as though to help him up. He could only stare at her. His mind refused to accept what his eyes were seeing.
A few meters away stood James Potter. Beside him were Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, both grinning in that arrogant, carefree way Snape knew all too well. Remus Lupin lingered slightly apart, watching with quiet uncertainty.
The Marauders.
His mind raced, scrambling to understand. This place, this moment. The grass beneath him, the robes on his back, the faces around him. No, it couldn’t be…
“Severus?” Lily asked again, crouching beside him. Her voice was softer now. “You hit the ground pretty hard. Can you stand?” He barely heard her. His thoughts raced wildly, trying to piece it together. He remembered dying. He remembered the cold, the blood, and the darkness that should take him forever.
So how could he be here? Had he been thrown back into the past? Was this some twisted illusion? A final torment before oblivion?
“Severus?” Lily pressed. “Talk to me.” Snape swallowed hard. Because somehow, against all logic and all reason, he was standing in the exact moment that had destroyed his life.
Snape felt as though he could not breathe...again. The world around him was too bright, too loud, too real. Every voice, every movement, every familiar face pressed down on him at once. Why was he here? Why now? What cruel twist of fate had decided to drag him back to this moment of all moments?
Hadn’t he suffered enough?
His thoughts spiraled wildly. He could still remember the cold stone floor, the taste of blood, and the feeling of life slipping away. That had been real, he knew it had been. So why was he suddenly alive again? For a moment, he feared he might truly be losing his mind.
A gentle hand settled on his shoulder.
“Severus... look at me.” Lily’s voice cut through the chaos in his mind like a lifeline. He forced himself to lift his head, and Merlin help him, there she was.
Exactly as he had tried to remember her for years, bright green eyes, fiery red hair, a face untouched by grief or age. Beautiful and full of life.
Snape felt something in his chest tighten painfully. His vision blurred, and for a moment, he feared he might truly collapse again. “Lily...” He whispered. The sound of her name on his tongue after so long felt almost unreal.
“I’m here.” She said softly. “You’re safe.” He shook his head weakly, words tumbling out before he could stop them. “I’m so- so sorry. I-I didn’t mean- I never-” He broke off, choking on his own voice.
Sorry for what? For this moment? For everything that would come after? For the years of bitterness, for the choices he had made, for her death? How could he possibly explain any of it?
Lily frowned, clearly confused. “Severus, you don’t have anything to apologize for.” She said gently. “You were the one attacked.” From somewhere behind her came a lazy, arrogant voice.
“Are you all right, Snivellus?” James stood a few meters away, arms folded, a lazy smirk on his face. Sirius snickered beside him, Peter hovering nervously at their backs while Remus watched with quiet unease.
Lily’s expression changed in an instant. She straightened up, stepping protectively in front of Snape. “Leave him alone, Potter!” She snapped. “All of you! Do you have any idea what you could have done to him?”
James opened his mouth to reply, but Lily cut him off before he had the chance. “He could have a concussion right now! Or worse! But of course, none of that matters to you, does it? As long as you get a laugh!”
Snape flinched at the sharpness in her tone, even though it wasn’t directed at him.
The memory crashed back into place then. Of course… this day. The lake, the crowd of students. The Marauders deciding to make him their entertainment for the afternoon. Being dangled upside down, robes falling, laughter ringing in his ears.
Humiliation so deep it had burned into his soul.
He swallowed hard. He became suddenly aware of the stares around him, students whispering, pointing. Slytherins watching with narrowed eyes, some with open disgust at seeing him so close to a Gryffindor Muggle-born.
He ignored them, none of that mattered.
His hand moved without thinking, gripping hers tightly as though she might disappear if he let go. Lily blinked in surprise but didn’t pull away.
Behind them, Sirius let out a mocking laugh. “Oh, look at that, Prongs. Snivellus needs Evans to hold his hand.” James grinned. “Pathetic, really.” Lily spun around, fury blazing across her face. She drew her wand in one smooth motion.
Before Snape could even process what she was doing, a sharp flick of her wrist and a burst of magic shot forward.
James was flung several meters backward with a startled yelp, crashing straight into Sirius and Peter. The three of them tumbled into a heap on the grass while Remus, who had been hovering uncertainly nearby, winced.
A few onlookers gasped, others laughed. Lily lowered her wand, glaring at them all. “Grow up.” She snapped. For a moment, Snape could only stare at her, he had forgotten how fierce she could be.
Then he felt her hand wrap firmly around his sleeve. “Come on, Sev.” She murmured, much more gently now. “Let’s get you away from them.” He allowed himself to be pulled along, his legs unsteady, his mind still reeling.
Their footsteps echoed against the stone floor as they walked deeper into Hogwarts. Snape barely noticed where they were going. He let Lily guide him through the familiar corridors, past suits of armor and flickering torches, until the noise of the grounds faded completely behind them.
“Honestly, the nerve of them...” Lily muttered as they turned another corner. Her voice was still tight with anger. “To do something like that... and in front of everyone, too. As if humiliating you is some sort of sport.”
Snape said nothing.
He could hear her, but the words seemed to drift past him without fully sinking in. “Like you weren’t even a person- I swear, one day Potter is going to push too far.” She continued. “Thinks he can get away with anything just because people laugh at his stupid jokes-”
Snape swallowed hard.
“Lily, I-” The words died in his throat. He wanted to say something, anything, but his chest felt too tight, his thoughts too tangled. How could he explain what he was feeling when he barely understood it himself?
Lily stopped walking and turned to face him. Her expression softened immediately. “Oh, Sev…”
Only then did Snape realize his face was wet. He blinked in confusion. When had that happened? How long had the tears been falling without him noticing?
She guided him gently toward a nearby bench and helped him sit. “It’s all right. We’re alone now. You’re safe.” Her hands rested lightly on his shoulders, warm and steady, as though she feared he might fall apart if she let go. “Just breathe, okay?”
Snape stared at her, confused by the tenderness in her voice. He couldn’t understand why she was acting like this. Why she was looking at him as though he were something fragile, something that might shatter at any moment.
“Wh- what...?” He managed weakly. Lily’s expression sharpened with understanding. Without hesitation, she placed one hand gently over his heart and took his trembling fingers with the other. “Slow breaths, Severus.” She instructed calmly. “In and out. That’s it.”
He looked at her helplessly. He shook his head faintly. “I don’t- I don’t understand-”
“You’re having a panic attack.” She said quietly. “It happens sometimes. Just focus on me.” The words startled him. A panic attack? He opened his mouth to protest, but no sound came out.
Lily met his eyes, calm and certain. “Feel that?” She asked. “Your heart’s racing. You’re breathing too fast. Just follow me, slow breaths. In and out.” Little by little, the tightness in his chest loosened. The air returned to his lungs, shaky but real.
“That’s it.” Lily encouraged quietly. “You’re doing well.” Her voice was gentle, careful, as though any louder sound might break him. Snape turned his head slightly and caught sight of his reflection in the glass of a nearby window.
He looked awful.
Pale skin, red-rimmed eyes. Tear-streaked cheeks, hair messier than usual, falling into his face. He looked... fragile, weak. The sight made him flinch. Lily must have noticed.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” She said gently, following his gaze. “You went through something awful today.” Snape let out a shaky breath. He supposed she was right.
And then it struck him. Lily had never seen him like this, not once.
Not when they were children. When he was just a little boy who went to play with Lily after his father punished him again for something he couldn't even control. Not at Hogwarts. Not even on the worst days, when the Marauders had torn him apart in front of half the school.
No wonder she looked so frightened.
“Okay... there we are.” Lily said after a moment, letting out a relieved breath. She released his hand and pulled a small tissue from her pocket, carefully dabbing at his face. Snape froze. “L-Lily, I-”
“Don’t even think about saying you’re fine.” She interrupted firmly. His mouth snapped shut at once.
“I’m so sorry, Sev.” She whispered as she continued cleaning his face. “I should have been paying more attention. I knew they were up to something today”
“It isn’t your-”
“But you’ve been so busy lately.” She went on, as if she hadn’t heard him. “Always studying, always with your housemates, and I thought...”
Snape stiffened.
“They’re not my friends.” He said suddenly. The words came out sharper than he intended. Lily paused. “What?” Snape looked away, his shoulders tensing. “They’ve been... trying to recruit me lately.” He admitted quietly. “Into their ideology.”
The word felt bitter on his tongue. Lily’s expression changed at once, confusion turning to alarm. “They started asking about my notes.” Snape continued, his voice tight. “Congratulating me on my work in Potions. Saying they admired my perseverance.” He let out a hollow breath. “But it was all lies.”
Lies he had once been desperate to believe. Lies that, in his first life, he had clung to because he’d had nothing else.
“Oh, Severus...” Lily whispered. “I had no idea.” He shook his head. “It’s not your fault. I didn’t want you to know.”
“Why not?” Her hand found his again. “Because.” Snape said quietly. “I didn’t want them to drag you into it. I didn’t want you anywhere near their nonsense.” Her expression softened. “Sev, you don’t have to protect me from everything.” She said softly. “We’re supposed to look out for each other, remember?”
Snape closed his eyes. If only she knew.
If only she understood how much those words meant to him now.
“Well, it’s settled then.” Lily announced suddenly, straightening as though she had just made an important decision. “We’re going to tell Professor McGonagall about this.” Her voice was firm, leaving no room for argument.
Snape’s head snapped up. “What?” He asked, startled. Lily nodded, her expression hardening again. “Potter and his friends haven’t faced any real consequences for their actions in a very long time.” She said sharply. “They think they can do whatever they want just because they’re popular. Well, not this time.”
Snape blinked at her, caught between disbelief and panic.
“I don’t care if Lupin is a prefect.” Lily continued, pacing slightly in front of him. “He neglected his duties, and Potter took advantage of that. Professor McGonagall needs to know exactly what happened today.” There was something almost triumphant in her tone, as though she were already imagining the lecture the Marauders would receive.
“Please, don’t tell Min- Professor McGonagall about this.” He corrected himself hastily. The name had almost slipped out. Lily turned back to him in surprise. “Why not?” He looked away, suddenly unable to meet her eyes.
How could he possibly explain?
The name alone stirred memories he was not ready to face. Minerva, standing in Hogwarts. Her face when she realized he had killed Dumbledore. The hatred in her voice, the betrayal.
Snape remembered holding her as she wept over Albus’s body. He remembered wanting desperately to tell her the truth. Wanting to confess everything he and Albus had planned and hidden from her.
But he never had.
Would she ever have forgiven him, if she had known? Would Harry even have looked at his memories after leaving the Shack?
Snape could only imagine Minerva's anger as she screamed at Albus's portrait, accusing him of keeping such information from her. If, of course, the war had been won and if Harry had the chance to share it with her before he was likely buried in his grave.
The uncertainty gnawed at him.
“Severus?” Lily’s voice pulled him back to the present. “I just...” Snape began quietly. “I don’t want to make this worse.” Lily studied him carefully. “Are you afraid it will cause more trouble?” He hesitated. “Yes.” He admitted at last.
She sighed softly and sat beside him again. “Severus, I know you don’t like drawing attention to yourself, but telling a teacher about this doesn’t make you weak.”
“I can handle it.” Snape said suddenly. The words tumbled out before he could stop them. Lily raised an eyebrow. “I mean...” He added quickly, stumbling over his thoughts, “After what you did out there, they’ll think twice before trying anything like that again.”
He attempted to sound confident. He didn’t quite succeed.
Lily gave him a skeptical look. “Severus…”
“Really.” He insisted. “It’s... unnecessary to involve McGonagall.” For a long moment, she studied him in silence. Finally, she sighed. “All right.” She said reluctantly. “How about this, then.” Snape tensed.
“If Potter and his friends so much as touch you again.” Lily continued, poking him lightly in the chest. “You will come with me to Professor McGonagall. No arguments. And we will tell her everything that’s been going on.”
Snape hesitated. He didn’t like the idea...But he disliked disappointing Lily even more. “Very well.” He agreed quietly.
Then she pointed a finger at him sternly. “If they attack you again, you have to tell me. Immediately. No hiding it, no pretending you’re fine.” Her eyes softened. “You don’t get to shut me out of this, Sev. Understood?”
Snape felt something warm and unfamiliar settle in his chest. The protectiveness in her voice was painfully familiar. In another life, he had pushed it away. Rejected it, ruined it. This time, he would not make the same mistake.
“Yes.” Snape said softly. “Understood.”
“Good.” She lowered her hand, still watching him closely. Then Lily nudged him gently with her shoulder. “Now come on.” She said, standing up. “Let’s get you to the Great Hall before lunch ends. You look like you could use something sweet.”
Snape nodded, and despite everything, a faint smile touched his lips. He had been given a second chance.
And this time, he would not waste it.