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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of I can’t decide AU
Stats:
Published:
2026-01-31
Updated:
2026-02-09
Words:
11,436
Chapters:
11/?
Comments:
35
Kudos:
27
Bookmarks:
5
Hits:
367

I can’t decide

Summary:

Shadow milk hates pure vanilla
He really hates everything about him
Doesn’t he?

Hi :D I’m Roguefort and I’m here to give you all yaoi
I’m new to writing fan fiction, but with the help of the huzz I hope to give you all something enjoyable to read!! :]

Notes:

Please don’t mind any typos I’m on a small phone
Anyways enjoy :D

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1 “hatred.”

Chapter Text

Friend. That stupid word that pure vanilla had used. ‘Ohhh shadow milk! let me be your friend.’
And yet he couldn’t get it off his mind, that stupid word that stupid stupid stupid cookie. He hated pure vanilla, he really did, he hated that cookie more than he hated anything else.
And still that damned cookie wouldn’t get out of his head
He had to do something about this.
He had to find pure vanilla.
He knew what he had to do.
And so with a snap of his fingers he made a portal through his other-realm, and he stepped through. It still had a few of those damned golden eyes that pure vanilla had somehow spread throughout. It infuriated him how he still lingered everywhere he looked, it was almost like pure vanilla was still watching him. He wished he could get rid of every single lingering piece of him, and yet he knew that would be impossible, not when shadow milk had changed the spire just for pure vanilla. No. No no no. He changed the spire so that pure vanilla would trust him, trust him enough so that he could get his souljam back
That’s all he wanted
All he wanted was his souljam
He finished walking through the portal, emerging near the vanilla kingdom. He didn’t dare get closer, he just watched the palace, the cookies bustling about. Fascinating, truly fascinating how everyone still just went about their day as if pure vanilla hadn’t just returned from beast-yeast. Shouldn’t they be celebrating him or something?
His eyes drifted over the crowds again, before looking up at the palace, he looked over everything till his eyes landed on the balcony on one of the higher floors. He wondered who lived in the room attached to it, although he didn’t have to wonder for long as he saw the door open. It was pure vanilla cookie. Of course it was that stupid stupid stupid cookie. He knew pure vanilla couldn’t see him, not when he was still just out of sight. Though it still felt like pure vanilla was staring right at him, like they were still in the spire, like pure vanilla was still the Truthless recluse. Oh how he missed the recluse, he’d been so… perfect. No. He couldn’t dwell too long on this, not when he had a mission. After all why go out of his way to come here only to waste his time staring at his enemy, at the cookie he hated the most, at the worst cookie on all of earthbread.
He knew what he should do.
He should do what he came for shouldn’t he? It was so simple
Go up there.
Get his souljam
Leave
That’s all he had to do
He’d done harder tasks in the past, so it shouldn’t be this hard
And yet his found himself practically glued In place, still watching the spot.
That is until pure vanilla turned his head, he didn’t see shadow milk? Did he? He couldn’t. It was impossible
Simply impossible.
Pure vanilla was mostly blind, wasn’t he? So he surely couldn’t see shadow milk when he was all the way down in the trees.
He didn’t stay any longer, he could come back any other day
Some other day when pure vanilla wasn’t looking so- so- no. He couldn’t finish that thought right now, he had to focus on getting out of there before anyone saw him. Really coming here in broad daylight was stupid
Maybe he’d have a better chance tonight.