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— (2002 Australian GP)

If some reporter walked up to him and asked Mark, he would shrug and give out his usual answer, the same old bullshit about how he never met his soulmate, and as much as he would love to get to know them, he wants to focus on his racing and his career.

If one of his friends or coworkers would have asked him, Mark would have sighed and said something along the lines of “mate, I don’t really care, as long as I don’t die alone.” and that was usually a satisfactory answer.

On the occasions where he would be laying in his bed late at night, however, when he was stuck with his own traitorous thoughts and sleep deprived enough to not even attempt to fight them, he would be a little more honest.

It was hard not to be head over heels for a person that he didn’t know when he spent his entire life devoted to them. It was the sports camps when he was little, looking at every kid running next to him, wondering if they would be the one. It was the time he spent karting, dragging his body and soul to the limit trying to get better, the only thing getting him up in the morning was the idea that someone was out there, waiting for him. And it was now, at the very start of his (hopefully long) racing career, getting into a car too small for him, driving with only one person on his mind.

But he couldn’t let himself truly acknowledge that.

He wanted to be a racing driver, and now that he finally (finally) got to drive in the sport of his dreams, even if it was just for three races, he is going to give it his all, prove to the team, to the world, that he was worth it. And that meant showing no weaknesses.

Unfortunately for him, his soulmates would be his biggest weakness of them all.

It was hard to race while constantly feeling someone else’s feelings. Reportedly, most fatal crashes were caused by a sudden wave of feelings reaching from your soulmate, catching the driver off guard, and sending his right into the barriers.

That's why most drivers opted to learn to block out some of the emotions coming from their soulmate, taking special training to be able to handle random shock waves and practice their instincts, basically forcing their body to ignore their soulmate as much as possible to make their racing more consistent.

But oh, no physical training will ever come close to hurting Mark as much as that.

He had to undergo that training of course, but it hurt. It hurt knowing that he won’t be able to share his one and only dream, his first race in Formula one, not just any race, his home race, his lifetime achievement, with the one person he cared for the most. It really did hurt, but-

But he had to, for the sake of his career and for the sake of his dream, he will have to spend his races without them, then he will instantly reopen the bond, soaking all their beautiful emotions back in.

Really, Mark must be the only person in history who managed to fall in love with mere emotions, but could you blame him? They were just so strong, so pure, so beautiful, nothing like Mark ever managed to feel on his own.

He was usually so… ‘calm’ would be the nice word for it (cold, heartless or unfeeling would describe it a little more accurately), having his bond that provided him with those strong emotions, bright like a flame, and behind able to latch onto them, well, it always grounded him.

Last year, just around the start of March, they spiked into heights he has never felt before. Mark remembers sitting in his home, watching the first race of the season, only to be hit with emotions so strong he could barely concentrate. He managed to focus back in time for lap seven, but-

Well, he couldn’t help but hope. Maybe they share the same hobby? Maybe, just, maybe… it would make sense, with how the emotions struck him every single race throughout the entire year with no exceptions. But no no, it couldn’t be.

He had to stop thinking about that, stop thinking about them, stop getting distracted so easily, he was a racing driver damn it.

With emotions so strong, Mark knew he had to undergo the training. If a wave like this hit him during a race (which it always did), he would crash for sure.

And so, staring at the car he is going to drive soon, he closed his eyes and concentrated on blocking the bond, grieving all the warm excitement that had been filling his mind as soon as it dulled out, tempted to undo the barrier the moment he built it.

“Ready to get into the car?”

Startled, too focused on the bond, Mark’s eyes shot open, and he turned to look at one of his mechanics, who was smiling at him softly.

Great, he made himself look pathetic in front of his mechanics already. He just hoped that he could slide it off as rookie nerves or something.

He nodded at his mechanic, before climbing into his too small of a car, wincing as he cramped his back in a desperate attempt to fit into the car properly.

“Sorry about that.” One of the people that were already strapping him down apologized, even though his face didn’t look apologetic at all, “The guy before you was this little spanish guy, the mechanics who built your car are used to much smaller sizes.”

Mark nodded again, not really sure what to say to the team. He knew his size would be a problem in this sport, he expected it really, but it still hurt to be told this bluntly that the car wasn’t made for him. They probably saw no point in changing it when he was driving with them for only three races, but he will show them.

He will show them that he was a good driver, that he was meant to be in the sport, they will eventually recognise his talent, maybe not after today, and maybe not even after the next race, but he will prove himself eventually, he will become successful in this sport no matter what.

He will make it, for his family who worked so hard to get him here, for all the hard work he put to get himself here, for everyone who doubted him, and for his soulmate, who may as well be sitting at home, watching him on their television, shaking with excitement about the race, maybe even staring at him.

Yeah, he will also do it for them. But that’s a thought for later, now, he had to forget all about his soulmate and concentrate on his race.

— (2003 Malaysian GP)

While Mark appreciated the extension of his and Mirandi’s contract, which let him race for the entire of the season instead of the intended three, it would be straight up lying to say he wasn’t relieved to leave.

It was a rough season for him, filled with back pains, disappointing races, complaining to his engineers about how bad the car felt and having to adapt to the new, harsh diet his performance coach was forcing on him.

With all that in mind, Mark didn’t hesitate to sign the contract Jaguar offered him in the middle of that season.

Barely half a year later, he couldn’t be more happy with his decision. Not only was his new car much much better, it was also more tailored for his needs, read, not breaking his back every other week, and with this set up, he felt like he could manage to get into the points (not only because of the new system!). But most importantly, he was having a much better time controlling the emotion channel between him and his soulmate.

Kinda.

Last year mostly consisted of blocking their excitement out, and while it wasn’t exactly the same thrilling emotions they were feeling the year prior, there was still a big risk of distracting him when their emotions were so strong, and no matter how much Mark wanted to drown in their feelings, he had to block them out.

This year, however, it was different.

For some reason, during the races, not only did Mark block out his soulmate, but they started to block him out as well. He realised it during his home race, after he managed to retire on the sixteenth lap, and when he reached out to his soulmate for comfort, wanting to forget about fucking up not only his home race, but also his first race with his new team, only to find the same barrier he was familiar with, but this time, on the other side.

When he retired again the very next race, he was met with the same exact barrier. Mark kept checking on it, but it stayed there throughout the entire race, until- the moment the first few cars parked in the parc ferme’, the barrier fell, sending a river of excitement, happiness, pride and exhilaration at him, hitting him with full force and no warning.

Hell, it was so strong Mark almost fell back from the chair he was resting on at how happy his soulmate was. Sure, they were always emotional, being the more ‘expressive’ one between the two of them, but this was more than usual, much much more.

He couldn’t help but feel like this was too much of a coincidence. The mutual blocking during the races, the drop of the barrier the moment the race ended and the post race emotions that were too strong to belong to a casual fan.

It was only the second race of the year, sure, and Mark hated speculating, especially when the topic was so big and so important to him, but-

He has retired both first races of the year, and really, he wasn’t that happy right now, even with a better car. He needed something to motivate him, a reason to practice for the next race and a reason to stand the fuck up from the chair he sat on in the garage and watch the race ceremony.

And if his reason was to ‘investigate soulmate matters’ it will make do. For now. Later he could forget all about it, as he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about this topic at all (actually, he was supposed to do the opposite, as it kept distracting him), but whatever works works.

He dragged himself towards the podium ceremony, only stopping when he got to the perfect distance, a respectable distance from the crowd but close enough to be able to look at the drivers.

His initial goal, really.

If, and only if, his soulmate was actually one of the drivers, again, only if, then it would make sense, in that other world, that they would only feel such a rush of positive emotions if they managed to score a podium, right?

There was no way in hell, Mark was totally pathetic for even trying, but he had to, for the sake of his curiosity, he just had to prove to himself it wasn’t any of them, then he could sleep peacefully at night.

So he started from his left, deciding to scan every driver, every possibility. It would be easier to cross them out one by one.

On the second step stood Barrichello, which was quite easy to rule out. He has been racing in Formula one much longer than Mark has, and he has gotten quite a few podiums in his career, surely if he was this excited every time, Mark would have felt it when he watched him win race after race just a year prior.

Next, he moved his gaze to look at the top step, staring at the winner. For a second, it made sense. It was Räikkönen's first win after all, it made perfect sense for him to be extraordinarily happy, but… well, from the one or two conversations Mark managed to score with him in a passing, he could already tell that this man wasn’t his soulmate. His soulmate was passionate and happy, they had that unexplainable fire in them that reached all the way to Mark, and staring at that (allegedly) unfeeling, ice cold Finn, Mark knew he could safely cross him out.

Okay, he was already doing great, two out of three out, maybe he could actually convince his traitorous mind that his soulmate wasn’t around. If anything, this wasn’t a distraction, but doing himself a favor! After this weird ritual, it would be so much easier to move on and stop getting distracted when thinking about the other person residing in his mind.

With that thought, Mark moved on to stare at the third and final step.

There, right there, on that podium, stood a short, beautiful man, practically vibrating with excitement, unable to stay still or keep his emotions underwrap as he stood on that third step, the biggest smile in the world on his face.

Fuck. um, uh-

Mark’s heart skipped a few beats while he stared at the Spanish driver, forcing him to look away eventually from fear that his heart would stop there and then.

What was he doing again?

Oh right.

This driver wasn’t his soulmate because…

Think! What do you know about him? Surely Mark’s brain will find something.

Right, Mark took his sit last year, and he was Renault's reserve driver until he started driving for them this year, this is his first podium, he is really hot and-

This is not helping.

How has Mark failed to look at him before? Sure he noticed him, but he hasn’t looked at him till now. Fuck, this was a mistake, how was he supposed to concentrate knowing that this was in the paddock? He had been staring at him for only a few minutes and his brain was already blank.

Is this Renault’s new strategy? Bring in the most beautiful person they could find to distract the other drivers? It was working on Mark, that’s for sure.

Okay, okay, concentrate.

Mark only managed to tear his gaze away when the ceremony ended, turning around and running towards his hospitality. He probably had some meeting he was late for or something, but his brain wasn’t really focused on that for now.

— (2004 French GP)

Mark tried. He really did.

He doubled his efforts during mental blocking training, he didn’t read any news that the press put out, he outright refused to acknowledge the overwhelming emotions his soulmate sent him (well, only on race weekends, and even that was too much for him) and he avoided the renault garage like the plague, making sure to turn his gaze the other way every time he saw a flash of blue or yellow at the corner of his eye.

Sure, he had some weak moments, but he was only human in the end, he couldn’t consistently block out the one person he has been mentally depending on for his entire life no matter how much he tried.

Like last year, just when the thirteenth race of the season ended, he found himself ignoring all of his duties and running to the first secluded area he could find, sitting on the dirty floor behind the Jaguar building, using the concrete walls as support for his back, and letting himself drown in the feeling of happy happy happy happy I did it I did it happy happy-

Or, more notably, during podium ceremonies (which weren’t that frequent, thankfully), in which he consistently broke his last rule of ‘no looking’ and let his eyes wander. It would be rude to not admire the podium winners like they deserved, even if he was only admiring one, it was still out of respect. Yeah.

And, well, in especially weak moments, like when he was forced to retire from the race or late nights when everything ached, he would let himself go a little, reaching out to his soulmate for comfort, closing his eyes and feeling their emotions, immediately forgetting his worries as that familiar warmth surrounded him.

So yeah, with podiums being his only exception and if he just let himself admit that everyone had weak moments once in a while, he could probably survive like this until he achieves his first podium and first win and maybe, one day, his first championship, and only then will he let himself think about a potential soulmate.

That was his plan, of course, until it all came down crumbling.

Finishing out of the points was starting to become achingly familiar to Mark, the car was just too inconsistent and no matter how much he pushed it, it didn’t seem like he was getting anywhere. It was just another race, but this time he was so close, one more position and he could have gotten that precious point, but he failed again, only managing to reach ninth place.

Not sure if he was disappointed in himself, or in the car, or in the team, or if he was just tired, he let the barrier down, hoping that feeling his soulmate would help him regain his composure.

He saw the results earlier, he knew that ‘that’ Renault driver go to second place again, he expected the overwhelming happiness he hasn’t felt since the start of the season, the same emotions he has been starting to miss, but-

Disappointment. It wasn’t the heavy disappointment of an engine failure or a crash, it wasn’t the disappointment that hit you when your family member was supposed to visit but canceled at the last minute, or the disappointment you felt when you accidentally overheard your coworkers bad mouthing you. No, it was identical to the disappointment Mark felt, he almost did it, he almost reached the points, the hope he had built up, thinking he could reach his goal, only to be crushed by the final result.

Mark zoned out while waiting for the podium ceremony, unable to stop his thoughts from wandering to places they shouldn’t. Alonso did get pole yesterday, maybe he was hoping for another win? It would certainly explain that familiar feeling of disappointment, and oh, Mark really did want to comfort his soulmate, who was only feeling worse and worse and-

No, no. He promised to himself he won’t, he is not going to back up on his promise now. He will stay strong and not think about his potential soulmate and his potential disappointment even though he is literally on the podium.

Eventually, Klien found his hiding spot and dragged him towards the ceremony, talking his heart out about the race while Mark did his best to listen. He really did like the rookie, he was a nice teammate and person in general, and the only person who actively seeked him out on track.

While Mark did get along with his colleagues and could comfortably strike up a conversation with most (some) fellow drivers, he couldn’t really call any of them his friends. Klien was nice, for sure, Mark really did appreciate the kid’s company, but a part of him suspected he was only looking for a mentor, not a friend.

So Mark found comfort in those little hiding spots he already spied out last year, hiding away from the constant business of the paddock, the intrusive reporters and the drivers he didn’t really want to befriend.

Well, no, he would love to be friends with a good bunch of his colleagues, but some of them… no, definitely not.

A good example would be the person in front of him.

Standing on the podium, looking all beautiful and perfect, stood Fernando Alonso. As usual, like every time that specific driver scored a podium, Mark forgot that he was supposed to stay away from him, and let himself go, taking in the sight.

But this time, something was different. Mark expected this, he knew that the disappointment he was feeling earlier wasn’t a ruse, but still, seeing it appear on the Spaniard’s face felt so… wrong.

That smile, the same smile Mark has grown to adore in the past two years, it was clearly fake, even from such a large distance. And those eyes, which usually glinted in excitement, missed their usual spark, only seeming happy for the flash of the camera. And his hands that kept waving to the camera, they looked tense, not the usual post race tiredness, but the feeling you get when you are anxious and actively trying to hide it.

Mark was tempted to do something he hasn’t done in a while, to close his eyes and send any every calming emotion he could muster to the other side, try to ease his soulmate’s nerves and maybe, just maybe, when he opens his eyes, he would be welcomed with the sight of a real and even more beautiful smile.

Could it help? Mark knew he rarely felt strong emotions, he doubted that his soulmate (especially if it really was him) relied on Mark’s emotions as much as Mark relied on theirs, even if he tried to sooth them, will his water-downed, fragile emotions really make a difference?

“Mark?”

The Australian driver looked to his side only to see Klien staring at him. He looked around, shaking his head, only to see that the large crowd that stood there before was slowly dwindling, the fans starting to leave as the winners had left for their other duties and the ceremony had already long ended.

“Ah, you should go mate,” Mark nodded at his teammate, pretending to have it all under control, “I’ll be right behind ya’.”

The Austrian stared at him for a moment before shrugging and leaving, not even questioning Mark’s weird behavior.

Mark should follow him back to their garage, they probably had a post race briefing to attend to or something, and he shouldn’t just be standing there, in the middle of the paddock, waiting for something, anything, to happen.

After taking a few short breaths and concentrating on forgetting his soulmate, forgetting the disappointment and forgetting the podium winners, he managed to move his legs, urging his body to walk.

He let his legs carry him, not really concentrating on where he is going, only aware that he is going the opposite direction of where he was supposed to go, but that wasn’t his main concern when his soulmate’s ache was just growing stronger by the minute.

Finally, he ended up in a small area behind the Williams garage, trying to find the small spot he hid in last year. He knew he could utilize it to sit down and concentrate, sending calming waves to the other side until those devastating emotions will stop actively breaking his heart and will finally let him keep going with his day.

The downs of having such a strong connection with your soulmate, really, he was supposed to be focused on the race, or debrief with his team, or stare at the valuable data he gathered that day, not think about his soulmate and nothing else.

He bypassed the corner of the building, ready to settle somewhere on the floor behind it, only to freeze at the sight in front of him.

Right there, exactly in the spot he was hoping to take, on the dirty grass behind the Williams building, sat the most beautiful man Mark has ever seen.

Sure, he saw him a few minutes ago on the podium, but this was more… personal.

Alonso was sitting on the floor, with his hands hugging his knees and his head buried against his arms, still like a statue.

Mark wasn’t really sure what to do.

Should he comfort him? No no, they have never socially interacted before, and if Mark knew anything as a fellow race driver, kind words didn’t really mean anything in times like these. Should Mark tell him that he deserved to win? But Mark wasn’t one to lie about these things, and they both knew that the only person who deserved to win is the one with the trophy in hand. Should he sit next to him? No no, that would be too much, too intrusive for someone he barely knew.

Before he could make a decision, however, the Renault driver looked up, finally noticing Mark standing there, back going stiff the moment they locked eyes.

Feeling his soulmate’s surprise and confusion, and feeling his own heart skip a beat as he stared into those mesmerising eyes, Mark panicked, and said not what Alonso would want to hear, but what Mark would have wanted to hear if he were in his place.

“Congrats’ for today, you drove really well. You really pushed the car to the limit, you know? Pretty impressive.”

Alonso blinked, obviously shocked, as he stared at him, not responding.

Mark’s panic doubled at that, oh yeah, he definitely fucked up.

The Spaniard opened his mouth, maybe to tell him to fuck off, but Mark was too stressed to stay, opting to turn around and walk away before he was graced with an answer.

His stress was short lived though, because for the first time in a few hours, the bond buried deep in his mind stopped sending him negative emotions which meant… that his soulmate was finally happy again.

And if his soulmate was happy, Mark was happy.

— (2004 Chinese GP)

Mark was a little frustrated after finding out that his little hiding spot from last year was taken up by a bunch of media personnel who were on a break, having to walk around in hopes of finding a new spot instead of already relaxing in his old one.

He had three hours until qualifying starts, meaning he is not urgently needed in his garage for another two hours or so, which also meant he had plenty of time to find a resting spot well hidden from the crowds. With a sigh, he turned away from his previous hiding spot, deciding to go on a not so thrilling adventure to find a new one.

Just as he was about to take the long route around the Renault garage, he had to remind himself he wasn’t supposed to do that anymore, forcing his legs to keep walking in the same direction as before.

You see, after that fateful day in France, Alonso seemed happy enough to just… stick to him. They weren’t best friend material or anything (yet?), but he did get quick waves every time they locked eyes in the paddock, and between sessions, even if they both only had a few minutes to spare, Alonso would run up to him with that big smile of his and force him into a conversation, not letting Mark go until he was satisfied.

And oh, Mark knew this would happen. This was the reason he started avoiding anything coloured blue or yellow to begin with, he knew that the Renault driver will only serve as a distraction, that if he managed to make Mark melt with a smile, who knows what power he will hold over him when given more, that's why Mark set the rules to begin with, rules meant to protect him and his career, but here he was, letting the Spanish driver ruin him without a second thought.

Even now, instead of pretending he is in a hurry, or acting like he didn’t hear the smooth voice shouting his name from a distance, he turned around immediately, welcoming the sight of his short companion jogging towards him.

“Mark- Mark!”

Alonso stopped right in front of him, a wonderful smile plastered on his face, pointed right at Mark, and accompanied by the intense emotions swirling in Mark’s head, well it was safe to say that the Aussie was a little too dizzy to answer the younger driver with anything but an acknowledging nod.

Oh, Mark didn’t deserve him, he didn’t deserve his smile nor his attention, he was so thankful those eyes were even staring at him, why is anyone expecting him to act normally when he was thrown into a situation like this?

Maybe if he had a second longer, he would have calmed down and managed to conjure a dignified response, he has had a lot of practice recently with forcing his mind out of its daze so he could have a proper conversation with Alonso and not just stand there and stare at him. Thankfully, he was successful at least most of the time.

But Alonso never waited for anyone, not even for him, he was the sun, the universe itself, and Mark was just another planet, forced to follow the rules Alonso set without questions.

“Come, I need more opinion.” was the rule Alonso set that time, and Mark couldn’t do anything but follow.

The Renault driver led him to his own garage, not stopping his powerful stride until he reached a small room, his driver room, Mark recognised, where they were both greeted with the smile of a wild Jenson Button.

“You brought Webber?” The brit questioned Alonso, not even bothering to hide his shock.

Well, yeah, Mark and Jenson have never really interacted before, but he didn't need to show his discomfort that bluntly. Him and Alonso were friends after all, would he kick Mark out if his friend disapproved? Mark almost started to panic, is this the end of the short lived friendship he has been not so secretly yearning for for the better part of two years now? What if-

“Yes! Come, Mark.” Alonso nodded enthusiastically, not noticing the disdain in his friend’s voice, opting to nudge Mark onto the couch and claim the seat facing the two of them instead.

While his shoulder barely grazed Mark’s arm, he missed the warmth already, practically slouching into the couch in disappointment.

“Why?” Jenson frowned, only proving Mark’s doubts.

“Is neutral,” Alonso explained, “He lived in your country but is from Australia.”

“Ah!” Jenson’s all serious face lit up, and he turned to look straight at Mark, “I didn’t know you used to live in England?"

A little more relaxed, Mark gave him a short nod, not really sure what that had to do with anything, and why it made the Brit a lot more relaxed before, but he didn’t question it.

“Fine!” Jenson turned to look at the Spaniard in front of them, “I guess he is worthy of being our tie breaker.”

Alonso’s smile got even wider (and prettier) after witnessing the exchange.

“Yes, good good, now!” he pointed straight at Mark, “aren’t British food awful?”

…what?

Mark wasn’t expecting much when Alonso pulled him into his driver room, but if he had to guess, asking his opinion about British cuisine would be one of his last choices. The other two drivers, on the other hand, were both looking at him expectantly, as if he had the answer to everything. And Mark…

Well, he didn’t really mind British food. Is it up there on his list? Definitely not. But he doesn't think it sucks. If it was anyone else, he would've shrugged and say that it’s not bad, but just imagining the way that smile could potentially fall, and those beautiful eyes could close in defeat, well, Mark could only apologise internally to Jenson and to the entirety of the British population.

“As much as I love your country mate,” Mark said, aimed at Jenson, but his eyes were set on only one person, “I have to agree with Alonso here.”

Staring at that blinding smile and listening to that triumphed laugh, he decided that his minor sacrifice was totally worth it, anything would be worth it really, if he gets to see this.

— (2005, Brazilian GP)

Mark really likes Williams, they have been a great team overall and their car has been an improvement after last year, but this race has been awful already, there was no point in forcing him to rejoin the race twenty laps late, he would rather retire and just watch from the side lines at this point.

But no matter how much he wished to disobey, team orders are team orders, and he found himself putting on his mental shields, effectively blocking the little bits of excitement and happiness his soulmate was sending through and starting the car after an entire third of the race already passed. Wonderful.

Maybe if he had that addictive happiness filling his brain and an open connection to his soulmate, it would've been a little easier.

Another good thing about this season is his and Fernando’s growing relationship. Small chats and waves turned into hour long conversations, shared flights and evening hangouts, each and every smile directed at Mark only making him feel more comfortable with the word ‘friendship’, happy to finally have his first friend on the grid.

(So why is he not satisfied with that? He should stop aching for more, he should stop thinking about those eyes, he should stop getting distracted so much from something so insignificant like being called a friend-)

And, of course, the best thing about this year was the happiness. The overwhelming happy feeling that flooded him with every race finish, the overwhelming excitement that flowed through his and Fernando’s (yes, Fernando’s, he has been sure it's his emotions invading his brain long enough to stop denying the truth) bond with every podium finish he has gotten. The emotions that followed him race after race, country after country, the entire year, highlighting his best moments and elevating him at his worst, were becoming his favorite thing.

Even worse, they were becoming addicting.

He took notice of it first in Monaco, when he got his first podium of his career, standing on the podium, feeling that exhilarating feeling of achievement, his dream, his goal, he did it, he’s up here, all these people looking up at him like he was everything, yet… yet his mind only concentrated on one thing.

It only concentrated on the pride and admiration that his soulmate felt and the lack of warmth next to him. The moment he got off that podium, he practically ran to the Renault driver, who was waiting for him with open arms and soft words, crashing him with a deadly grip and whispering “I knew you could do it” over and over again into his neck, their mixed emotions overwhelming Mark’s senses, making him wonder what he did in the past life to deserve this wonderful fate.

Since then, well, he has been chasing that high with every opportunity he had. Every small touch, every smile, every spare moment, Mark reached out for the bond, hoping to feel the best feeling in the world. Sure, on bad days, he was affected twice as much, unable to put up his shield like he was supposed to and forcing himself to soak into Fernando’s bad emotions, sending as much hope as possible to the other side until the sadness faded away.

When he counseled with his performance coach, he was told the same nonsense as always, that he was too reliant on his soulmate, that it could affect his training and driving, that it could have serious repercussions if he kept messing with the bond, but…

But Mark knew that this would happen. He knew he should've backed off when he had the chance, but now, he was too far gone. He can’t imagine waking up in the morning and not reaching for those sweet emotions, he couldn’t imagine not finishing a race and immediately being washed over with overwhelming pride, he couldn’t imagine eating lunch or surviving a flight or falling asleep or breathing without that feeling, without the person who was making it all possible, he just couldn’t. Even if he has to face some serious consequences.

And face those consequences he will.

The moment he was stopped, twenty six laps behind the winner, he had to dig his nails into his own skin to prevent himself from dropping his shields like he was used to, looking at one of his engineers instead and asking him who won.

“Montoya got first, Räikkönen got second and Alonso got third, why-”

But Mark stopped listening. Because third, if he remembered correctly, third would mean-

He ran away, as fast as he could, knowing that it would look like he was frustrated after a bad race, when in reality, he just needed some space, preferably somewhere where no one could find him, so he could let his shields down and feel.

The moment he accessed the bond, he collapsed onto the ground, holding his head in his hands as the world around him faded into nothing, nothing but happy happy happy I did it I won I did it I won happy happy happy happy-

And he did. Mark’s soulmate, his everything, the love of his life, his entire world, has just won the championship.

Mark wishes, oh he so wishes, to be there for him, to hold him, to hug him and kiss him (kiss? Since when does he-), to give him the love he deserves, to show him how he feels, to worship him and give him anything, everything, he deserved everything.

But Mark couldn’t.

No matter how much he wanted, he couldn’t, because he didn’t deserve him, as much as he loved Fernando, he won’t ever be enough and-

And all he could do was sit on the cold ground, not knowing where he was or how long he was there, and marvel in those addictive emotions, praying that he would get to feel this again. And again. And maybe, hopefully, every day for the rest of his life.

Yeah, that would be nice.

— (2006 Turkish GP)

“So you are telling me you don’t believe in soulmates? One bit?”

His rookie teammate has been jabbing at the iceman himself for the past ten minutes about soulmates now. Sure he had the help of Jenson, who seemed incredibly shocked by the idea as well, but if you would ask Mark, that is a bold decision nonetheless.

Jenson showed up to their garage three weeks prior and demanded to give the rookie a ‘proper welcome’, better read as, ‘a driver’s outing’.

Mark didn’t mind coming, because he actually started talking to some of the other drivers on the grind, and more importantly, Fernando promised that he will be there, and well, could you blame him for not wanting to miss out on a night with Fernando? Nico himself immediately agreed, bright and happy at the proposition of a party in his name.

The Brit managed to convince a few more drivers to join, making it a full pledged unofficial drivers meet up in some random Turkish bar he found, Nico’s name inevitably forgotten in the mix.

Said rookie, however, didn’t seem to care much for the lack of attention, opting to sit at the far left side of the table, between Mark (who was much more comfortable sitting at the edge) and Jenson, quietly sipping on his drink.

That was, until, of course, someone made the mistake of mentioning Kimi’s soulmate.

“Think about how they will feel when you wake up tomorrow with a hangover!”, to which was reciprocated, as usual, with disinterest, “Who cares.”, and then suddenly the rookie remembered he has a voice again, spiraling into a fifteen minute conversation that Mark didn't really care for.

Why would he mind what's going on to his left when the most important thing in the world was sitting right in front of him?

Fernando was already downing his third drink of the night, a small smile spread on his face as he watched his friends bickering from the corner of his eye, not sparing a single bit of remorse for the Mclaren driver, only opting to giggle as another impossible question was shot at Kimi.

“What if your rejection will hurt them? Are you just willing to live with their pain knowing damn well you are the one who caused it?”

In the year Mark has known Nico, he has never heard him this desperate, as if he couldn’t understand the lack of excitement, like the concept of not wanting your soulmate as badly was foreign to him.

“Tell him! Soulmates are important right!”

And Mark… Well, Mark agreed. Even now, in their comfortable little dinner, when he wasn’t stressing over anything and he was relatively happy, he still clung onto the soft hum in the back of his mind, the sheer calmness that Fernando was feeling served to be his anchor, even when he didn’t necessarily need it.

“-right? Mark?”

Finally noticing the silence around him and the multiple pairs of eyes staring at him, Mark blinked a few times, realising that the last question was aimed at him, but he was too preoccupied staring at Fernando, his favorite pastime as of late, to notice earlier.

“Uh-” he cleared his throat, suddenly feeling the pressure, “I mean, yeah, who cares really.”

“WHAT.” Nico stared at him, exasperated and betrayed, as if he expected more from him specifically.

Fuck that’s not how he meant to phrase it. He needed to explain it fast before Nico, or even worse, before said soulmate, would get him wrong.

“Like,” he tried to keep his stare on his teammate, but his traitorous eyes slid over to look at Fernando, remembering all of his precious grid girls and the one night stands he won’t stop talking about, “my soulmate can do whatever they want. If they love me, they will love me, if they want someone else, I won’t fight them for it.”

Nico sighed next to him, obviously frustrated, murmuring something to himself. Mark would have probably been more interested if not for the sudden disappointment hitting him.

Disappointment? Why-

He blinked and turned his head forward, now fully scanning the Spanish driver that was sitting in front of him. Fernando was looking at his drink, mindlessly hitting his fingers against its side, obviously feeling down.

Fuck, Mark was too busy answering Nico’s stupid questions to fully focus on his soulmate, and he probably missed something, something so important that Fernando went from feeling content to sad in just a few seconds. Mark fought the urge to drop everything and try to comfort his friend, not really caring about anything other than that smile, and these beautiful emotions, he wanted them back, he needed-

“And you? You keep judging us but can’t really prove anyt’ing.” Fernando spoke up before Mark had the chance to, now looking directly at Nico.

Okay, okay, that’s good, right? He wasn’t as upset as Mark initially thought, it was probably nothing! Fuck, Mark really needs to get his shit together, he can’t be as affected by every single move Fernando does, it’s borderline unhealthy.

He forced himself to look away again, now staring at his teammate, who went from frowning at Mark’s answer to shining like the sun.

“My soulmate? Glad you asked!” Nico was absolutely vibrating from joy, undoubtedly excited to talk about his soulmate, “He is the best person ever, I can’t wait for you all to meet him when he joins Formula one!”

“When?” Fernando snickered, obviously doubting the kid.

“Yes,” Nico nodded enthusiastically, “He will join the grid very soon, you’ll see! And I am sure you all will absolutely adore him.”

— (2007 summer vacation)

“I hate him!”

“So I've heard.” Mark sighed half frustrated, half fond, staring at his friend, who was too busy pacing the room to take notice.

“The team is just terrible and he is using that! All he do is smile and they give him priority just like that! It’s not fair!”

Mark nodded along, not even bothering to answer knowing that all Fernando needed was a listening ear, not actual advice, and as a fellow driver (and a down bad idiot) who could definitely relate, Mark provided him with exactly what he needed.

“-do everything and they just, they just don’t listen and-”

But oh, as much as Mark would love to keep standing by and listen to the love of his life ramble, he couldn’t keep standing by and doing nothing any longer. Because he felt just how devastated Fernando was, he felt every bit of pure frustration that Fernando couldn’t put into words bleed through their bond, echoing in his heart and hurt Mark much more than it should.

“They sabotage me on purpose! Everything for their precious golden boy and nothing for-”

“Fernando. Look at me.” Mark practically begged, unable to keep his emotions at bay.

Fernando paused, finally ceasing his pacing and turning to look at Mark. He stared straight at him for a moment, making Mark hyper aware of his surroundings, especially focusing on how the room felt a little warmer than it should, before his eyes widened.

“Ah, I was rumbling too long, right?” Fernando seemed embarrassed, a rare occurrence really, moving his hands in the air in a desperate attempt to explain himself, “Am so sorry, I only meant to tell a little about the situation but got swept away, am a really bad host!”

Mark snorted at that, because of course this is what Fernando was focusing on. He has been invited to his house more often than not, the two constantly sharing meals together, or watching a movie, or just hanging out, most notably a few months prior when the Monaco grand prix took place, Fernando even let him sleep over. So yeah, the last thing Fernando was was a bad host.

“This is not what I meant, nando,” Mark sighed, before petting the spot beside him, “I just think you should sit down, mate, all that walking around is making me go crazy.”

Fernando blushed at that, nodding slightly before quickly taking his spot right beside Mark, barely leaving an inch of space between the two despite his comically large couch.

Adorable.

Shaking his head a little, Mark turned his body a little so he could face Fernando, before taking his hand in his own, slowly caressing his knuckles with his thumb.

“Nando…” he sighed, focusing on his friend’s flushed cheeks, “I get your frustration, believe me, but you should take a break, it's called summer break for a reason, just look past it for now and enjoy your life, yeah?"

The sadness hit Mark like daggers, taking all of his strength to not flinch at that. Fuck, he said the wrong thing, didn’t he?

“No no, Mark! You don’t get it!” Fernando sighed with frustration, before reaching out and clasping Mark’s hand, effectively occupying both of his arms, “It is all I think about, it might be not good, but it is all my brain can think about! I can’t rest like this!”

And oh, he couldn’t be more wrong, because if there is anyone out there who does get it, it’s Mark.

Recently, he decided to stop denying himself and started reaching out for those emotions constantly, too addicted and too far gone to have any hope to go back, but… now days, he feels the frustration in the morning when he wakes up and he feels it when he goes to sleep, it's a constant bother in his mind, breaking his heart again and again, making him wish he could just do something, anything, only to find he couldn't.

But now… he could.

He stared down at Fernando’s hands, both tucked comfortably in his own, and thought about how as of late, Fernando has been starting to find comfort in his touch. Their hugs became more and more of a common occurrence, rather than the rare treat they used to be, their hands finding each other wherever they were close, they started giving each other half hugs in the paddock without thinking, just a deep, foreign instinct pushing Mark towards his soulmate, one he has long given up on fighting.

More notably, however, was just how Fernando didn’t seem to fight it either. He replicated every touch, initiating it more often than not, sometimes seeking out Mark after a rough race only to sink into him, not caring at how non-platonic the act felt.

And oh- Mark couldn’t be happier.

Now, however, sitting on Fernando’s couch, he felt a little more hesitant, not knowing if he was overstepping with his actions, but the urge to comfort the man he loves was much stronger than his doubt.

He let go of one of Fernando’s hands, only to sling his arm around Fernando’s shoulders, slowly pulling him closer until the two were sitting so close they were practically chest to chest.

Surprisingly, and thankfully, he found no resistance. Fernando quickly melted into his touch, letting out a sigh of relief as he settled against him, cuddling closer even as he made himself comfortable.

Not really sure what to say, Mark stayed quiet, scared that if he would move even an inch it would break the fragile atmosphere between them.

Fernando, on the other hand, seemed too content to even think about being stressed, and only sighed as he reached out to grab the tv remote from the table, before immediately settling against Mark again, not bothering to ask him whenever he wants to watch something before opening his favorite movie with a sly smile.

The earlier frustration was quickly forgotten, all negative emotions melting as they stayed as close as possible, opting to spend the afternoon away.

It took a little while for Fernando to fall asleep against him, which was Mark’s cue to try and do the same, who is he to say no to a nap? As his eyes closed and unconsciousness took him, one last thought invaded his brain, why can’t every afternoon look like this?

— (2010 Abu Dhabi GP)

Pain.

Unbearable, overwhelming pain.

Fucking up hurt, the moment he rejoined the race in position fucking sixteen, he knew it was doomed, the championship he has been dreaming about for so long, that was finally in his reach, it was almost his, he almost had it, but-

But he had to watch it snatched away from his grasp, his probably only chance to write his name in the history book, the thing he has been tearing himself apart over for god knows how long, it was just… gone.

And-

Well, he knew there was a chance he wouldn't win, hell, he has been preparing himself for that ever since he knew he had a chance, so in his mind, he prepared for the disappointment, he prepared to lose it, but in every scenario, he prepared to lose it to Fernando.

He would have been happy if his soulmate got his third, he would've went to whatever party Fernando dragged him on, he would watch him laugh and smile and find his mouth curving upwards as well, he would celebrate him all night long and when he would finally go to his hotel and fall on the bed, he would reach for his bond and drown his own sadness and disappointment with happiness. Then he would cry, cry for as long as it took until he would realise that he doesn't mind as much as he should, because losing is worth it, as long as his soulmate is happy.

But in the cruel world Mark lives in, that didn't happen.

In the cruel world he lives in, neither side of the bond is happy, in this world, he had to watch the championship get ripped away from both of them at the same time, in this world there was no happiness, he only felt pain.

Overwhelming, endless, unforgiving pain.

Realistically, Mark knew that he shouldn't be doing this, he should have found a random corner to swallow himself in, to do exactly what he did three years ago and pretend that everything is fine even if his soulmate and his sorrow was just a minute walk away, and hide somewhere, anywhere, until his bond stopped dripping pain into his heart and go back to the normal happy emotions Mark was head over heels for.

But unlike the last time, today, Mark was selfish.

While he gave up on trying to convince himself that he wasn't in love with his best friend long ago, he has been trying, at least, to hide it to the best of his abilities. He held himself back from asking Fernando if he was okay every time any hint of negative emotion dared to attack him through their bond, he tried his best not to run to the red garage every dnf or bad result, he stared at their open chat on his phone for hours and hours on end, almost every evening, forcing himself to close it without writing anything, because-

Because Fernando deserved better, Fernando had his beautiful girlfriends and all of his loyal friends and no matter how much he wished otherwise, Mark knew that he was just one more person in his life, he knew that realistically, he won't get, hell, he doesn't deserve everything he wants from Fernando.

So yeah, he shouldn't be doing this.

But today, just this once, he believes that he deserves to be selfish.

He pushed through the crowd, not caring for the stares he was getting, not bothering to feel out of place as his dark blue cardigan stood out against the sea of red surrounding him, too focused on his goal to stop now. He walked forward, bumping into another Ferrari mechanic, not stopping to apologise as he turned left into a vaguely familiar hallway, a little thankful Fernando dragged him into his drivers room just a day prior.

He knew that his fellow (ex)championship contender would be the last person Fernando would want to see, that the most he could expect from Fernando at the moment was a door slammed into his face, there is no world in which he would be welcome, but-

But he needed to do it. The pain bleeding from their bond was too much to bear, and he couldn’t stand by any longer, no, he had to do something, he had to help, he had to-

He paused in front of the door to Fernando’s driver room, knowing that he was supposed to feel doubt, that he should back off and spare himself the embarrassment, and really, he was thinking about doing just that, when his ears picked up a muffled sob coming from behind the door, its sound echoing through his body and their bond, effectively breaking his heart in the process.

Completely desperate, driven forward by pain, Mark put his hand up, practically smashing it against the offending wood that was standing between him and his soulmate.

Another wave of emotions hit him instantly, and Mark’s knees almost gave up on him, fuck, everything hurt so much, he needed-

The familiar click of a lock being turned snapped Mark out of his thoughts, and before he could turn around and run away, the door he was standing in front of for the better part of ten minutes finally opened.

Mark stared at his soulmate, eyes wide, all the words he intended to tell his best friend dying on his tongue. Fernando looked wrecked, gone, his eyes swollen with tears and his lip turning red from how much he bit it, Mark didn’t need the bond to know how shattered he was.

They stared at each other for a few more seconds, Mark opening his mouth multiple times only to close it, unable to find the words to convey just how much he wants to help, and Fernando simply stared back, looking at him with those big sad eyes of his, somehow breaking him even further.

Eventually, though, Fernando broke the silence, probably unable to stand their tension any longer.

“Come in.” he whispered, small, too small, nothing like the usual intensity Mark felt from him.

Before Mark could say anything else, however, Fernando turned around, already walking into his room, and Mark, well, he was too weak to do anything but follow.

—

While Mark made some desperate attempts to comfort Fernando, the other man seemed adamant on doing anything but talk about the championship results. Sure, both of them were too tired to hold a real conversation anyway, but Mark liked to think he could match Fernando’s stubbornness, as he was insistent on helping in one way or another.

It was easy to lay down on the not so comfortable couch ever so present in Fernando’s driver room and open his arms and have his embrace returned instantly, a warm body laying against his, both of them familiar with the years old routine.

After countless nights of falling asleep on the same couch mid-movie night, sitting too close in press conferences and going as far as sharing hotel rooms, you would think Mark is used to this… right?

But no, just like a teenager who is handling a crush for the first time, Mark’s face heats up as Fernando buries his head against his neck, hesitantly wrapping his hands around the other driver as if he has never done this before. Pathetic.

They laid there for god knows how long, just pressed against each other, basking in the simple silence and warmth between them. Mark took that opportunity to feel for the bond, relieved to find soft comfort greeting him back, it wasn't the usual intense enthusiasm he was hoping for, but it was something, definite proof that maybe he was doing something right for once.

Just as Mark settled down, however, finally comfortable and no longer as anxious, a small sound left Fernando, not quite a sob, but equally as distressing as one.

He froze, suddenly hyper aware of his body, snapping out of the wonderful haze he has been in for a while now and realising just how wet the side of his neck was getting, and how the body that was so relaxed against him just a second prior was trembling.

Oh, fuck, oh no, no no no, it’s not supposed to, no, this is not-

“Nando…” Mark whispered against Fernando’s head, trying his best to maintain a steady voice.

Fernando only shivered at that, refusing to respond as he buried his head further into Mark’s neck, probably seeking the comfort Mark couldn’t provide.

Or could he?

He knew that if he did this, if he revealed himself, there would be no going back. Hell, he might lose the little privileges he has been getting lately, the little touches he has grown so addicted to, maybe even the emotions he needs to feel more than he needs to breathe air, but it was fine, it was worth it, as long as Fernando stopped crying and started smiling again.

He reached for the bond, an action he has been growing familiar with after years of obsession, yet now felt foreigner, like it wasn’t something he did daily, but a new dangerous action that he needed to be careful with.

Fernando’s emotions hit him like a tsunami, so mixed he could barely pick a specific one out, he knew the pain was there, he could feel it in his bones, but there was more, a lot more, comfort, happiness, sadness, need, desperation, hope, hurt-

It was too intense, too much. Mark wanted to drown in it.

But he couldn’t, because he needed to use his god given right and improve Fernando’s mood with a tactic he and only he can use. To hell with caution, this was the worst race of his life and he was so tired of the pain echoing in his brain, of the sorrow holding him down, he just wanted to sooth out the frown that has been constant on his soulmate’s face recently and watch as those beautiful lips curved up into a big beautiful smile, preferably directed at him.

With a deep breath, he sent out as much comfort as possible, using his right hand to draw shapes on Fernando’s back in the process and whispering soft words into his hair, hoping that this would be enough. Because if it isn't, he has nothing left to give.

Thankfully, it seemed like what he was doing was somewhat productive.

Fernando slowly melted into him, the tension leaving his shoulders as Mark’s hand pressed against them, his quiet sobs stopping entirely and his breath evening out.

Mark sighed in relief.

Okay, everything is alright. Not only is his soulmate feeling better, he also didn’t notice that it's Mark’s doing. Okay, maybe he was worried for nothing, Fernando didn’t notice and didn’t say anything so Mark is probably safe and-

“You knew.” Fernando murmured into his neck, his voice shaky with… something.

“Hm?” Mark hummed in return, too focused on the fact that Fernando might be feeling better to understand what he is implying.

“You knew,” Fernando spoke slowly, as if carefully picking what he is going to say next, “about- the bond, I thought you didn’t know.”

Mark blinked once. Then a second time. What?

He couldn’t help but notice the way Fernando spoke about their soulbond so casually, sure, he might be going insane, but if there was one thing that he was knowledgeable about, it would be the Spaniard’s mannerisms. If Fernando truly found out just now, he would maybe scream, maybe panic, maybe gasp or (most likely) murmur to himself random phrases in Spanish before doing all of the above, in that order. The calm reaction and the sweet, uncharacteristic hesitance, well, it screamed guilty, as if…

As if Fernando knew as well, maybe not all along, but long enough to accept it.

“You did too.” Mark concluded.

As if everything that happened just moments ago was irrelevant, Fernando shot up, now sitting on Mark’s legs and staring at him with wide eyes, all prior sorrows forgotten in favor of pointing accusingly at Mark.

“You don’t even deny! Why did you never tell me!” His tone was playful and accusing, but also genuinely frustrated, the sheer disappointment flooding Mark’s brain accompanying it made the Aussie panic a little, not really sure how to respond.

“You didn’t either!” he retorted eventually, deciding to fall back into the familiarity of teasing, hoping that's the direction the conversation was going in.

“Hey!” Fernando shouted again, digging one of his hands into Mark’s chest as he leaned forward, his tone not as offended as Mark knew he intended it to be, “I gave you hints, right? Me? I got nothing! I was crashing against the barrier trying to figure you out!”

“Sue me if I’m wrong…” Mark started slowly, “but we are literally cuddling on a couch? And not for the first time either!”

Inwardly, Mark was panicking as he quickly went through every single interaction they have had in the past few years. He might be pointing out their cuddling in full confidence, but it's not like he stopped and tried to read into it either.

“Could be… friend cuddling.” Fernando’s intense eyes refused to look away from him, giving Mark a first seat, wonderful, clear view of his red cheeks and wide, hopeful eyes.

“Could also not be friend cuddling.” Mark whispered, strangely confident, not daring to move.

Fernando leaned forward even more, now close enough for Mark to start counting his eyelashes if he wanted to, “yeah? What cuddling is it then?”

Mark sighed out, realised that he was just teasing him now. Fine, Fernando can have it his way, “How about lover cuddling?”

Fernando lit up at that, eyes widening even further somehow, his overwhelming happiness hitting Mark like a train (oh, just how much he missed that-). They stared at each other for a few more moments, both not daring to move, only feeling each other’s emotions as they calculated their next move.

Eventually, Fernando recovered first, smiling widely at Mark before hesitantly leaning forward and finally (finally) closing the gap between them.

— (2012 Monaco GP)

Mark was in a great mood. He was incredibly happy due to his pole, it was always nice to know that he is going to start first in the coming race, a good start and hopefully, a good result, that might push him towards his well deserved championship.

Unfortunately, though, it seemed like his good mood wasn't meant to last, because the moment he set out to find Fernando, he was ambushed by two of the most effective mood destroyers on this planet.

Mark found himself dragged off by two, short, German devils to the other side of the paddock, literally as far away as possible from the Ferrari garage, which Mark didn’t really appreciate. He did promise his soulmate a few days ago to try to be a little nicer to his teammate, but he is already thinking about going back on his promise, because if things stay like this any longer he is going to start ignoring Seb again.

“I swear to god, if this is not worth it I am going to put holes in both of your cars tomorrow.” Mark snarled as Nico pushed him behind one of the FIA buildings.

“You’ll get it when we get there!” the Mercedes driver retorted back, obviously not caring for Mark’s discomfort.

“Shut up!” Seb, who has been leading the group, turned around and shushed the two, “you guys are being too loud!”

Sighing loudly just to spite his teammate, Mark kept walking, already resigned to his fate, better to go along with their weird antics and pray that they will free him sooner.

“There!” Seb whispered loudly. He paused just at the edge of the wall, hiding his entire body behind it and only peaking out his head as if he was a spy in some weird crime move. Nico quickly joined him, moving into an almost identical position, immediately gasping dramatically as he saw what Seb was looking at.

Exasperated (and honestly, a little curious), Mark stood right behind them, not bothering to cover himself with the wall, openly staring at the sight in front of them.

Right there, in a small deserted area next to the FIA building, stood three drivers, deep in conversations. Mark’s eyes didn’t even linger on Kimi nor Lewis, immediately attracted like magnets to his lover, who was standing next to Lewis, brows frowned with concentration as he listened to whatever the Mclaren driver was saying.

Huh. Maybe he shouldn’t have been that annoyed with those two, as they brought him to his intended destination in the end anyways-

His arm was yanked harshly, causing him to step to his side until he was hidden from plain sight. As Fernando was out of his view, he had to look down at his offender, who for some reason, decided he wasn’t deserving of staring at the most beautiful sight this world had to offer.

“What are you doing!” Seb whispered angrily, letting go of his arm, “they almost saw you!”

Ah. Mark’s eyebrow twitched as was hit with the realization why they dragged him all the way here.

“You brought me all the way here… to stalk your crushes?”

Satisfyingly enough, Nico’s mouth dropped at that, whatever he had to say dying on his tongue, and Seb, who usually refuses to take any insult, went so red Mark wondered if he was getting a fever, looking away as if he was burnt.

Bingo.

“First of all!” Nico recovered first, “he is not my crush because we are literally dating. Second,” he suddenly smirked that evil smile of his, “we are indeed stalking both of your crushes.” he said triumphantly, as if he beat Mark in whatever contest they were having in his mind, highlighting the ‘your’.

Right. He and Fernando didn’t really tell anyone about them dating, they liked their lives nice and private, they didn’t really want to get into all that drama, especially not with their coworkers. While it had a lot of bonuses, it did get Mark into situations like this one, how embarrassing.

“Sure.” Mark rolled his eyes, amused enough, “and you thought that will do literally anything because…?”

“They have been meeting like this for three races straight now!!” Seb perked up, trying to act like he wasn't blushing wildly like a teenage girl, “I thought that if you would see that they are having these… weird meetings, you will get all jealous or something! Then-”

“He wants you to distract Fernando so he could have a chance to talk to Kimi again.” Nico cut his friend’s embarrassing jabber off, his eyes twinkling with pride.

“Couldn’t you just do that with Lewis?” Mark pointed out, more interested than unwilling. He was planning to drag Fernando into a hidden corner anyways, for his well deserved prize as the pole position winner, but they didn’t need to know that.

“Yeah but I did it last time,” Nico retorted, “I can’t interrupt them twice, it will look suspicious! And I have the chance to play cupid for two couples now, two birds with one stone!”

Little fucker. Mark rolled his eyes, now that he remembered his plans for the day, he really wanted to get this conversation over with, “Fine, as long as you two leave me alone.”

“Thank you Mark! You are the best!” Seb whispered-cheered at him, before pushing him towards the same corner they were hiding behind a minute prior.

Finally relieved of their antics, Mark casually walked around the corner, instinctively reaching for the bond and letting Fernando know that yes, he is close and yes, he is very happy to see him.

Fernando’s head snapped up and he quickly turned away from Lewis (who was still talking) in favor of staring right at Mark, a big smile instantly planting on his face as he spotted him.

“Mark!” he waved at him, getting the attention of both of his friends who also turned to look at him (maybe? Kimi didn’t move an inch and thanks to his sunglasses, Mark had no idea if he even noticed that he was here).

“Fernando.” he smiled back, placing his hand on Fernando’s shoulder the moment he was close enough to him, his body practically begging to be close to his soulmate, “Thank god that you are here, If I had to hear that little imbecile mention his crush one more time I will absolutely lose it.”

Mark stared at Fernando (because he spoke to him, of course), happy to be able to witness the change in his expression as surprise reached Mark through their bond, before it changed again to realisation. Nico is not the only one who could play cupid around him, and if anything, that's payback for forcing him to be involved in this weird operation.

“What! Who?” Lewis immediately perked up, catching Mark’s bait.

“Oh, you know how Seb is,” Mark sighed as if he was an overworked parent complaining about their child, “the moment he likes something he can’t shut up about it, I have to hear him talk about his crush all day long! ‘Kimi said this’, ‘Kimi said that’, ‘where is Kimi’, you know?”

“AHA!” Lewis pointed at Kimi, who didn’t utter one word, now very obviously looking at Mark, his mouth twitching, “I KNEW IT! All these meetings weren’t for nothing!”

“Meeting over then.” Fernando huffed out, the other two not even bothering to acknowledge him, too busy pondering about the new information Mark provided them.

Perfect time to escape then.

Fernando grabbed onto Mark’s hand and took off, walking way faster than he should, making it difficult for Mark to match his pace. While Mark has been complaining about being dragged around earlier, there is one person in the world he is willing to be manhandled by.

If they stayed around a little longer, they may have been able to witness Lewis and Kimi accidently running into Nico and Seb on their way back to their own respective garages, and maybe even get to overhear Kimi ask Seb about everything Mark mentioned earlier, but they had more interesting things to do.

Like sneaking around the paddock and off into Fernando’s driver room, too tired and impatient to drive to one of their hotel rooms.

“You have no idea what-” Mark started speaking the moment they settled down, wanting to tell Fernando about how ridiculous their colleagues are, and ask him about the weird meetings he was having with Lewis and Kimi, only to be cut off when Fernando’s lips pressed against his own.

It has been over a year and a half since they got together, and Mark still felt like he was exploding every time Fernando even got close to him. Their mixed emotions both perking up at the feeling, the bond opening up entirely and making Mark feel twice as happy.

It was everything, and not enough, he wanted more yet he doubted such a thing existed. It was perfect.

Fernando pulled back, Mark instantly mourning the loss, and sighed, “Sorry, you were so cute earlier and I was waiting all day for this, what did you want to say?”

Mark smiled at Fernando’s words, he has been waiting for this all day as well after all. Was he saying something? He doesn't remember, and he doesn't really care either, all he cared about at the moment was Fernando.

“I don’t remember.” He smiled sweetly, which made his soulmate laugh that sweet laugh of his. The happiness immediately echoed through their bond, making Mark laugh as well, before he leaned in a second time, claiming those beautiful lips with his own.