Chapter Text
“Kids, please line up into two rows. One for boys, one for girls. We’re gonna be playing some sports.”
It was 8:30am in the morning, and today they were doing PE. Michaela had been going to school for over a year now but she still didn’t feel right doing sports so early in the morning. Neither did her friends, it seemed.
They were all sleepily stumbling into place as some kids rushed eagerly to the right line and others acted similarly to them. Whilst Michaela and her group of friends could be very energetic at times, so early in the morning on a Monday was not the time.
The teacher came by to check everyone was in the right space, but paused when it came to Michaela. “Michaela, I said to get in two lines of girls and boys. You’re in the boys line. Where do you think you’re supposed to be?” She asked gently. Despite the nice tone, Michaela felt personally attacked anyways. “I am in the right line, I’m with my friends.” She pouted, knowing it wouldn’t do her any good but wanting to express herself anyways.
“I know you want to play with your friends, but you’ll see them later. We can’t have you doing the same sports, boys are much stronger than girls, especially at your age, we don’t want you getting hurt. Okay, Michaela?” The teacher stared her straight in the eyes, and Michaela felt a little intimidated, but anger still bubbled in her stomach.
“But- but I play sports with them all the time! And- I’m strong, and I can be boy…ish enough for them!” She protested, trying to reason with the teacher as she clenched her fists tight, standing her ground.
“Yes I know but let’s just be safe here, okay, Michaela? C’mon.” The teacher held out a hand and Michaela slapped it away, but the teacher just grabbed on tight and dragged her away from her friends. “Unfair!” She screamed, “Unfair, unfair, unfair!” She protested, she tried to pull away from the teacher, but she still took her off to the side. “Until you calm down, you’ll have to sit out because you can’t play like this Michaela. Your safety is more important than playing with your friends right now.” The teacher insisted firmly.
Michaela tried to punch the wall. She didn’t like being different from her friends. She wished she were a boy like them.
Michaela didn’t like the new dress her parents had bought her, but she knew better to complain. It was blue, her favourite colour, and it wasn’t itchy on her skin or anything so it should’ve been a favourite, but… something just felt so awkward about the way she wore it, like it wasn’t made for her, which was stupid cause none of her clothes were made for her. That’s just how it works.
It was more like… her very skin, her body was itchy. She wanted to tear it off. Whether that meant the skin or the dress she wasn’t sure.
She didn’t complain anyway. She just pushed those feelings down because she knew all that would come of it was anger, another ‘tantrum’, and another time-out, inevitably.
So she suffocated under the dress.
Michaela was aware she and Will were very close, maybe ‘too’ close for a boy and a girl that were just friends. But they’d tried dating before, and that had ended… well…
”Michaela, I’m… I don’t… I don’t like girls. Like that. I felt like you deserved to know the truth.” Will had whispered, tears in his eyes, hands on hers shaky as though he was fearing rejection.
It annoyed her when people called her Will’s girlfriend. Not just because of their failed romance (Will couldn’t like Michaela. Literally. He was ‘gay’.) but because it belittled her down to a title. To a girl. She knew it was weird, that she hung out with just guys. Neither of her sisters did that, but… Will was her best friend. And just that.
Michaela couldn’t help but be jealous of El. Obviously, finding a girl in the woods had been concerning, and everything else about the girl too, but…
Her hair was so short, Michaela couldn’t help but eye it the way she noticed El eyeing hers. Why can’t I have that?
Sure Michaela probably wouldn’t want it quite that short, but… she’d been asking for shorter hair since she was young. She just wanted to look like her friends. Something about being so girlish disgusted Michaela, but it wasn’t like she didn’t like girls or anything! She liked El! She just didn’t want to be one herself…
Michaela was spending some much-needed time with Will. She had lost him for what felt like far too long, she still wasn’t over having him back, despite all of this. It was late, and both of them had had far too many sweets. Dustin and Lucas were at the arcade, but Michaela had turned them down for some alone time with Will.
With how close the two were, it was no wonder most the town thought they were dating. They’d tried as kids, but it hadn’t worked out at the time, nevermind the fact they didn’t even really know what the words ‘dating’ truly meant at the time. However, Michaela saw Mike as something more than any boyfriend could give her. He was special, and their friendship meant the world to her.
In this hazy moment of long-awaited relaxation, of lowered-inhibitions, Michaela found herself rambling about anything that came to mind to her dearest friend. “El’s the first female friend I’ve had in a while but I don’t really feel any differently about her than I do Lucas or Dustin… especially when we first met, I was just jealous because even she gets to have short hair while I’m stuck with this stupid long stuff.” Michaela opened up about stuff she’d never talk about otherwise, only when her and Will were left alone together. She was always more open with him than the others.
“I like your long hair. It’s pretty.” Will murmured, and Michaela groaned, “But I just wanna be like you guys, it’s unfair that I have to be a girl…” She sighed, “I wanna be a guy like you guys.”
Will hummed, “If you were a guy, what would you call yourself.” He paused a second, before suggesting, “Mike?” Michaela paused. It kind of sounded like Will was calling her Mike if she ignored the context.
Michaela hummed, “There’s probably more creative, but I’d like that… I’d like being called Mike…” she yawned and closed her eyes, feeling tired all of a sudden.
“I’ll call you Mike then.” Will smiled, she could feel it against her skin from where they were curled up together. “A nickname for you.”
That sounded nice.