Work Text:
Maura blows out the candles on the large homemade cake that Jane has placed in front of her. Maura has two mothers now, but it is Angela, her best friend's mother, who made the cake.
The cake is slightly lopsided and has "Happy Birthday Maura!" written on it. It's pink with wafer daisies stuck to it because Angela had said, with an eye roll from Jane, that Maura was someone who would appreciate a girly cake. It's the best birthday cake she's ever had.
Jane gives Maura a knife to cut the cake and tells her to make a wish. Maura takes in the smiling faces of Jane, Jane's family, their colleagues and her own mothers and sister, and replies, "I don't need to," because it would be greedy to want more than this, when this is so much more than she had ever dared to imagine she could have.
She smiles warmly at everyone who is there to celebrate her existence, lingering on Jane who is looking at Maura with so much affection that Maura knows her smile must grow even brighter. Jane leans forward and kisses her softly on the lips, just for a second.
Jane's kissed her on the cheek before, a physical demonstration of love that Jane is unwilling to express verbally, but this is the first time that Jane has kissed her on the lips. It's momentous and at the same time it's small enough to be ignored if they want to, or more accurately if Jane wants to, because Maura doesn't want to ignore it. She tilts her head at Jane in question.
"Someone should kiss you on your birthday and better it's me than one of my brothers," Jane says casually, like it's insignificant, but she's blushing.
"Hey!" object Frankie and Tommy in unison and Maura smiles at them apologetically because Jane is the only Rizzoli Maura wants to be kissed by and she suspects the brothers have realised that by now.
She eats her cake at the dining table sitting next to Constance, whilst at Angela's insistence, the Rizzoli siblings wash up. Maura is pleased to see Jane directing her brothers into putting the dishes away in the right places, it means she won't have to reorganise everything later.
Maura turns her attention back to her mother. "Thank you for coming, I know you're busy," Maura says.
"Of course darling, I wanted to celebrate your birthday and spend time getting to know the important people in your life," Constance says and she sounds like she means it, even though Maura wouldn't have believed her a year ago. "I hope you don't mind me coming," Constance continues, "Jane was quite adamant that you would want me here, even though it was her, not you, extending the invitation."
"I'm happy you came, I didn't think you'd have time with your new exhibition opening," Maura says and her mother winces slightly.
"Well I'm pleased Jane asked me, I'm glad you have her to advocate for you," Constance says.
Jane is probably behind Hope and Cailin's presence here too. For most of Maura's adult life she hasn't had any family at her birthday and this year she has two mothers and a sister. Maura remarks as much to Cailin when she's sitting on the couch with her later. Cailin frowns and Maura wonders if she still resents Maura for taking a share of Cailin's mother when Maura already had an adoptive mother to herself.
"Every year on your birthday Mom would be miserable," Cailin tells her. "It was like I wasn't enough for her and I hated you for it.
"But this year Mom is only a little bit maudlin, and it turns out having a living sister is much better than having a dead one."
"I like having a sister, growing up I always wanted one," Maura says, mentally packing the comment Cailin had made about Hope away to process at another time. Her face must give away something because Jane catches her eye to check in from across the room where she's now talking to Constance and Maura nods that she's okay.
Cailin sees the exchange and demands that Maura comes outside to show her her flower beds. Maura suspects Cailin has about as much interest in horticulture as Jane, but she doesn't object, outside will give her a brief respite from the noise. She loves having all these people in her life, but the volume when there is more than one Rizzoli present is much greater than the sum of their individual volumes.
"What's the deal with you and Jane?" Cailin asks as soon as they're outside with the door shut. "She practically lives here and she's so protective I think she would kill anyone who hurt you," which is probably meant to be hyperbole, because as far as Maura is aware Cailin doesn't about Hoyt, "yet the two of you aren't even dating," Cailin finishes.
"We're best friends," says Maura. It doesn't adequately describe what they are to each other but she doesn't have a better label, not one that Jane would find acceptable.
"But you are attracted to her?" probes Cailin. "You're into women and Jane's hot," she adds, like both of those things are statements of fact. Cailin is right on both counts but Maura's not used to people making correct assertions about her sexuality.
"Jane does have an aesthetically pleasing bone structure," Maura admits. Jane's angular face with a strong jaw and well defined cheekbones give her a powerful presence, one which is instantly softened whenever she smiles at Maura. Maura finds both versions incredibly attractive.
"So why isn't she using her aesthetically pleasing bone structure to bone you?!" asks Cailin. "If someone looked at me the way Jane looks at you I'd be having their babies."
"It would be sensible for you to finish school before you think about procreating," Maura says, "and for me to carry Jane's child would require significant scientific input." Maura's never really felt the desire to have children, but there is an appeal to the idea of combining her and Jane's DNA to make a whole new person.
'I didn't mean literally," says Cailin with an eye roll. "I just don't understand why you're not dating when you're both so clearly in love."
"I don't think Jane is comfortable with the idea dating a woman," Maura says. Jane spends a more than heterosexual amount of timing looking at Maura's breasts, but also treats the idea of dating Maura as a joke, one that Jane seems to need to make on a recurrent basis in order to reassert her heterosexuality and Maura's along with it.
"She kissed you on the lips in front of a room full of people," Cailin points out.
Maura is relieved to hear that someone else sees the kiss specifically, and their relationship more generally, as falling outside of the normal parameters of platonic friendship. Maura's struggles with the unspoken rules of social interaction mean that she doesn't always trust her own interpretation of a situation, especially with Jane's tenacious insistence that she is straight.
Despite the relief in hearing Cailin's perception of the situation with Jane, Maura is still about to downplay Jane kissing her, as Jane herself had downplayed it, when the back door opens and the woman in question joins them outside.
"What are you two doing out here?" Jane asks, briefly touching Maura's back as she joins them. Jane likes and gets on with Cailin, and her tone is friendly, but Maura suspects Jane is also making sure Maura is not being primed to donate her remaining kidney.
"Cailin asked me to show her my plants," Maura says, which is technically true so she is able to say it without breaking out in hives.
"I was telling Maura that she is brilliant and anyone with any common sense would want to date her," says Cailin, "Don't you agree?"
"I do," says Jane, "although none of the men she dates appreciates her like they should."
"Then maybe she'd be better off dating a woman," Cailin says without asking for Maura's input, like this is something that can be decided for her.
Jane opens her mouth to reply but closes it again without speaking, a rarity for Jane.
"On a completely unrelated note..," Cailin continues after Jane's uncharacteristic silence, ".. you kissed Maura earlier."
"I did," agrees Jane. "It's her birthday."
Maura wonders if Jane is taking advantage of Maura's poor social literacy to suggest that kissing someone on the mouth is a normal birthday convention, or if it is genuinely something that the Rizzoli's do, but either way she's disappointed that it seems Jane wishes to maintain that it was purely platonic. As much as Maura would like to pursue a romantic relationship she's not going to damage their friendship by pushing for something that Jane is unwilling to offer.
Cailin, however is happy to push, not being the one with something to lose. "You kissed her on the lips."
"I was aiming for her nose, but missed," says Jane.
"Why would you want to kiss me on the nose?" asks Maura, bemused, until she notice Jane's eyes sparkling. "You're joking."
"I am," confirms Jane, "although you do have a beautiful nose."
"There's nothing exceptional about my nose," Maura points out.
"Everything about you is exceptional," says Jane.
Cailin, pulls a face. "Your flirting is tragic, no wonder you're both still single."
Maura waits for Jane to deny she was flirting, to remind them that she is straight, but Jane just says, "Aren't you also single?"
"Yes, but I'm young," says Cailin with a shrug.
Maura, feeling emboldened by the lack of denial by Jane, says to Cailin, "Why are you criticising our flirting when you just said you think we should 'bone'?"
Jane flushes and Maura worries that she's pushed too hard, but Jane just asks Maura, "Why are sexual euphemisms the only ones you know?!"
"Your mother teaches them to me when we watch television together," Maura replies.
Jane makes an overly dramatic gagging noise. "I knew it was a bad move letting you take her in."
"She made me a birthday cake, no one has ever done that for me before," Maura says in Angela's defense.
On the occasions during Maura's childhood when her own mother was around for her birthday Constance would buy her an elegant but small cake from a patisserie, one that was intended to be a single adult portion, because Constance disapproved of waste.
Jane smiles at Maura softly and Maura knows she understands the significance of the cake, even though all she says is, "Fine, my mother can stay, but you do realise she's going to be interfering in our business?"
Maura doesn't care, especially not if 'our business' means what she hopes it means. She decides it's time to find out.
"Cailin, would you mind giving Jane and me time to talk," Maura asks her sister.
"Sure, if talking's what you want to call it," she says with a grin and disappears inside before Maura has a chance to reply.
Maura tries to work out how best to broach the topic with Jane.
"You kissed me," is what she finds herself saying, stupidly. She's a genius with an extensive vocabulary which surpasses that of most of the people she knows, and yet she has only managed to utter three words which are a statement of fact and mirror what her sister has already said, words that will do nothing to progress the conversation.
"Do you know how many people have pointed that out since it happened?" Jane asks, which at least offers the prospect of a different perspective on the matter.
Maura gives it some thought. "Four?" she suggests, "if you're including Cailin."
"It was a rhetorical question!" says Jane, which is a shame because Maura would like to know how accurate her guess was.
"Does that mean you don't want to talk about it? Would you like me to act like it never happened?" Maura offers, although it's not what she wants.
"No!" says Jane vehemently, sounding offended.
"What do you want?" Maura asks in a tone which she hopes is more measured than she feels.
"I don't need people pointing out to me that I kissed you, like they're wondering if it was a mistake," Jane says. "It wasn't planned but it was intentional, I've been wanting to do it for a long time now."
"Why didn't you do it before now?" Maura asks.
"I was scared," says the woman who regularly chases down suspected murderers and once shot herself in the stomach in order to protect Frankie and Maura.
"Why did you do it today?" Maura asks.
"It would have been impossible not to," says Jane, which doesn't really explain anything, so Maura raises an eyebrow to encourage her to continue.
"You looked so happy you were glowing," Jane elaborates, "and then the way you smiled at me, the way it made me feel, I can't explain it," - Maura doesn't need Jane to explain it because she suspects it is very similar to the way Maura feels when Jane smiles at her - "I just had to kiss you."
"You said it was because it was my birthday," Maura points out warily. It sounds like Jane is finally ready to acknowledge what has always been there between them, but there have been too many occasions when Jane has made a joke of the idea of them being a couple for Maura to entirely trust that it won't happen again.
"That's true too," said Jane. "You should get to be kissed on your birthday and I'd have hated for it to be by anyone else."
Jane hesitates and frowns, "Is that okay? Or am I just like my brothers, hitting on you when you don't want me to?"
"It's more than okay," says Maura, "it's the best thing that could have happened on my birthday."
"In that case you don't need the present I got you," Jane says. She had given Maura an envelope containing details of a weekend away - a boutique hotel with a vineyard tour for the two of them. "I'll cancel it, it's not too late to get my money back on the hotel," Jane says with a grin, back to teasing now Maura's confirmed the kiss was welcome.
Maura raises a stern eyebrow at Jane.
"You didn't thank me properly for it when you opened my gift," Jane tells her, ignoring Maura's non-verbal warning, something she only ever does when she's teasing Maura.
Maura, who had hugged Jane and enthused about the present, waits for the punchline, but Jane just grins and says nothing. Maura opts not to utilise a sterner look, not when the way in which Jane's eyes are crinkling with childish mirth is infuriatingly endearing, and instead plays along with Jane's game.
"What would thanking you properly involve?"
"A kiss, of course," replies Jane with a cocky grin. It's not dissimilar to the way Tommy used to smile at her when she first knew him, but Tommy was not as irresistible as he thought he was, whereas Maura has no interest in trying to resist Jane.
Maura places her hands on Jane's shoulders, stretches up on tiptoes and kisses Jane... on the tip of her nose.
As she returns her heels to the ground Jane gives her a look of mock outrage.
"You have a beautiful nose," Maura says with a wink, and Jane smiles at her joke in the same proud way that parents of other children in her class when she was at kindergarten would smile at their child's clunky piano recital. Maura is sure that if Cailin was witnessing this interaction it would reinforce her belief that they are bad at flirting, but Maura doesn't care.
"You have a beautiful mouth," Jane replies and bends her head to kiss it. The kiss is tender, an affirmation of the affection and love that has existed between them for years. Maura is so happy this is finally happening that she can't help grinning, which makes kissing difficult, especially when Jane also starts smiling.
Maura pulls away laughing now and Jane is laughing too. Jane is captivating when she laughs and Maura wishes she got to see it more often. The back door opens whilst they're laughing and Angela steps out into the yard.
"People are wondering where you two have got to. Cailin told me I'd be interrupting something if I came out here, but you're just standing about giggling like teenagers!"
"See, I told you she'd be in our business!" says Jane, which makes Maura laugh harder.
"Don't be long girls," says Angela, and heads back inside.
Jane rolls her eyes but says, "We'd better go back in." She holds open the door for Maura and follows her into the house, joining Maura by the kitchen island and sliding and arm around Maura's waist, which Maura leans in to.
Cailin grins from her place on the sofa and nudges Hope, who looks over and smiles at Maura.
***
After all the guests have left Maura asks Jane as they're wiping down the kitchen surfaces, "Do you think it's a good idea, our mothers going out for drinks together? I am not sure what they'll find to talk about."
"They'll be fine, my mother was plying both of yours with alcohol before they left. It's the citizens of Boston you should be worried about!"
Maura frowns, she hadn't thought to worry about the other people they'll encounter.
"I'm kidding!" says Jane. "I asked Constance and Hope to take my mother out so we could have an evening without her."
"Oh," says Maura. She opens the door to the refrigerator, studies the insides and starts taking items out.
"What are you doing Maur, isn't the way I organised things good enough?!" Jane asks. It is true that sometimes the way in which Jane puts things in her fridge is not exactly as how Maura would arrange things, but Maura decided a long time ago that relaxing her standards is a worthwhile exchange for ensuring that Jane feels at home here.
"My refrigerator is due a thorough clean, it's been some time since I last did one," she explains.
Jane stands next to her and peers in. "I can't see any dirt," she says.
"Bacteria aren't visible to the human eye," Maura points out, "and Listeria monocytogenes can multiply even at low temperatures if adequate measures aren't taken."
"I'm sure you take adequate measures," Jane argues.
"I do," confirms Maura. "Which is why I want to clean my fridge now."
"It's your birthday!" Jane protests. "At least wait until tomorrow."
"I'd rather do it now," Maura says.
"If you leave it today I promise I'll do it tomorrow," Jane says. "I'll let you give me precise step-by-step instructions and you can even supervise to make sure I do it properly if you want," Jane continues, making her eyes big to plead with Maura whilst gently taking the items Maura is holding and returning them to the fridge.
There are many things Jane would willing do for Maura, she killed Hoyt when he threatened to rape her, and she has demanded both of Maura's mothers be better parents, but Jane has never before begged to do Maura's housework.
Maura gives in and allows herself to be steered to the couch. "I am going to hold you to your promise to clean my fridge," Maura tells Jane as she sits down next to Jane.
"I wouldn't expect anything less," Jane says, "Now spill." But neither of them have a drink and even if they did Maura wouldn't want the contents of it on her couch.
"Tell me what's going on in that big brain of yours," Jane adds, "I can see you're overthinking things."
There are a lot of concerns and questions competing for attention inside Maura's head, and she's not sure where to start. She opts for saying, "I still don't really understand why you kissed me today and not before now."
"I can't give you a better answer than I've already given," says Jane with an apologetic smile.
"What stopped you doing it before?" asks Maura.
"I told you, I was scared," says Jane.
"What happens if you get scared again?" Maura asks.
"You're worried I'm going to screw things up?" says Jane.
"No," says Maura, she wouldn't have stated it that bluntly, anyway. "I just know how you were with Casey, the more available he was the less you were interested in him."
"That was Casey!" says Jane. "You're you."
"What do you mean by that?" asks Maura.
"You're my brilliant best friend, I love spending time with you, us dating wouldn't change that," Jane says. "But I get it if you don't want to date me. You know what I'm like at my worst, I wouldn't blame you if you want someone better."
"I also know what you're like at your best," says Maura, "and there is no one I want more. Your worst is not what I'm worried about. Besides you know the worst of me too. You know that my father is a killer, you know I am no good at the kind of small talk that seems to be innate for everyone else."
"You're nothing like Paddy, and your fact sharing idea of small talk is not you at your worst. At your worst you're a bitch."
Maura doesn't understand how Jane can possibly think that insulting her like that is conducive to them starting a relationship when Jane adds, "But you're hardly ever at your worst. I'm a bitch way more often than you."
"You are," Maura agrees.
"But that's not what you're worried about?" Jane asks.
"No," says Maura.
"You're worried I'm going to change my mind," Jane says. Maura nods.
"I won't," Jane says, like it's that simple.
"You can't blame me for being worried. For so long you've only ever treated the idea of us dating as a joke," Maura says. "Something that would never happen because you're straight, something that would never happen because you insisted I'm straight. Which I'm not, by the way."
"Good!" says Jane. "It would be a little awkward us kissing if you were straight!"
"So now that it suits you I'm allowed to be bisexual?!" Maura says, furious that Jane has switched from making the idea of Maura being bisexual a joke to making the idea of Maura being straight a joke.
"I.." Jane starts, but Maura doesn't wait to hear her answer.
"And what about you Jane, are you finally ready to admit that you're a raging dyke?" Maura is enraged enough to be the bitch that Jane has said she can be.
Jane doesn't say anything, she just shoots forward, takes hold of Maura's face and captures Maura's lips with her own. Maura kisses her back, channelling years of pent up frustration as she bites on Jane's lower lip and moans into her mouth.
Eventually Jane breaks away and releases her hold on Maura. "You're right," she says.
"About...?" Maura asks.
"All of it," Jane says. "Although perhaps you could paraphrase 'raging dyke' when you're talking to my mother."
"Many women choose to call themselves dykes to reclaim the word from people who use it as an insult," points out Maura, even though she herself had chosen the word in order to antagonise Jane.
"Maura!" Jane whines.
"How about lavicious lesbian?" Maura offers.
"No."
"Ardent homosexual?" is Maura's next suggestion. Jane doesn't grace it with a response.
"Spirited sapphic?" Maura says. "'Sapphic' doesn't exclude you from also being attracted to men."
Jane wrinkles her nose. Maura's not one to draw premature conclusions, but Jane's expression certainly doesn't contradict Maura's hypothesis about Jane's lack of enthusiasm towards men. However now may finally be the time to seek information directly from the object of her hypothesis.
"How would like me to describe you?" Maura asks Jane.
Jane rolls her eyes. "For now you can call me your best friend, and hopefully one day soon you can call me your girlfriend. Does that satisfy your desire to label me?"
"It does," says Maura with a smile, and leans forward to kiss her soon to be girlfriend, saving discussion of the timing of the upgrade for a later conversation.
