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Today’s mission had not gone as smoothly as planned.
Sure, you and your team won the fight and succeeded in what you came for.
But after a foolish mistake you had made, one of your teammates that you had always been very close with got hurt.
Gaz had been trying to protect you, because you weren’t paying attention.
And he had gotten hurt in the process.
The flight back had been rough. At least that’s how it felt for you.
Your mistake was repeating itself in your mind over and over again. You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at Gaz who was being treated.
Price was scolding you. His voice was rough and harsh. It softened when he noticed you were barely paying any attention, but you still couldn’t focus on his words.
And when you all made it back to the base you immediately left to take a shower.
You took off your dirty, blood-stained uniform and loosened your hair, letting it fall around your shoulders.
When you got into the shower, you tried your best not to break down.
You tried to focus on your breathing as it sped up. The vision of Gaz getting hurt replayed in your mind.
You hadn’t seen Price’s face when it had happened, still your mind gladly filled in the caps itself. You could just imagine the shocked and disapproving look the captain must have given you at your mistake.
Your breath came in short gasps and you covered your mouth to try and calm it down. Your vision was getting blurry from either the water of the shower or tears, you weren’t quite sure.
As your hand found the shower handle you used it to adjust the temperature so it would become hotter. You needed to feel something to remind yourself where you were and how real it was. While holding the handle your mind wandered to how easy it would be to make the water even hotter.
To let it burn against your skin. It would be a simple punishment for your mistake, your stupid, useless mistake-
“Darling?”
Price’s voice called you away from your thoughts. You looked up, seeing his silhouette through the other side of the shower curtain.
“Love, are you alright in there? You’re taking a long time.”
Had you been in there for a long time? You hadn’t noticed time going by so fast.
The gentle voice he was using told you he stepped out of his role as your captain. Right now he is John, your partner.
“John, I’m alright. I’m sorry I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Well there’s no need for that. Mind if I join you?” You could just see his smile in your head when you heard his slightly teasing tone and it made you calm down just a little.
“I don’t mind.”
Price moved the curtain aside to walk in. Immediately softly cursing at the hot temperature and turning it down a little.
“Christ love, it’s a bloody sauna in here.” There was no bite or harshness in his words, just gentle concern.
His concern deepened even more when he took a look at your face. You were looking everywhere but at him and looked awkward, maybe even uncomfortable.
It wasn’t because you were both naked, no you had seen him without clothes many times. It must have been something else and he already had a suspicion what it might be.
He moved his large hand to your chin to direct your view back to him.
Maybe it was the gentle look in his eyes or the small concerned pout he had on his face, but as soon as you made eye contact with him you broke down.
He easily catched you in his arms and you leaned against his bare chest, unable to stop the tears from spilling down.
“What’s got my little doll so worried?” He asked gently as the hand that wasn’t wrapped around your shoulders to hold you upright moved to the shampoo bottle you always used.
He moved his arm away from your shoulder to put shampoo on his hands before slowly starting to move his hands in your wet hair. Massaging the shampoo onto your scalp.
“Today’s mission- w-what happened-” You really didn’t want to stutter like an emotional mess instead of the hard and cold soldier you normally were, but the sobbing made it near impossible and it just felt so natural to let your feelings out when Price talked to you like this.
You tried to swallow your sobs and continue talking despite it becoming more difficult to.
“What happened today doesn’t matter. We succeeded and everyone made it out alive.” Price spoke out softly before you could say anything else.
“But Gaz-”
“Is alright. He’s a strong man and wasn’t hurt as bad as it seemed. He’s alright and in no way is he angry at you for what happened.”
You felt yourself relax more and focus on the nice repetitive motion of Price’s hands in your hair.
“I know I was harsh on the flight back. I wasn’t blaming you, I was just worried. You could have gotten seriously hurt if Gaz hadn’t stopped it.”
He took a deep breath before continuing.
“But you’re alright and so is Gaz. Sometimes it’s difficult for me to remember when you need your lover or your captain. But that will never mean I will stop caring for you. I’ll always trust you to always make the right choices. Mistakes happen. To you, me and everyone else.”
He used his hand to move your gaze back to his.
“We’ll work on it together.”
He smiled seeing how you were calmed down and looking at him so lovingly.
“Now close your eyes for me, darling.”
You obeyed, closing your eyes and leaning against his chest again.
He grabbed the shower head and used the pleasantly warm water to rinse the shampoo out of your hair and you let your guilt and nasty thoughts rinse out with it.
That night you fell asleep in Price’s arms. Both of you were clean, the events of that day washed away.
You had had a long talk with Gaz before that, only confirming what Price had already told you. Gaz wasn’t angry at you. He didn’t even blame you for what happened. He was just glad everybody came out alive and mostly unharmed.
And now, as you were asleep in Price’s strong and reassuring grip, you finally believed them that at this moment, everything was alright.