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It all started as a simple joke. Just it. One lab session, Peter started whining to him that he really wanted to go sledding with Ned today.
Tony raised an eyebrow at that. That’s the problems teenagers have nowadays?
“Then why are you here?”
Peter bangs his head on the table and continues to whine, deliberately refusing to elaborate and just acting like a drama queen he is.
Tony loved this side of Peter, when he could just act childish, like an average kid his age would act. This boy went through so much shit, so much loss and still kept the light inside him alive. So Tony eagerly absorbed every second that Peter acted like a kid, he overly enjoyed every whining, every single pouting because he knew how special it was.
Tony looked up from his holograms and looked more attentively at Peter again. “Use your big words, kiddo.”
Peter mumbled something, but the table muffled all the sounds.
“Kid, I don’t hear you.”
“I said..My last sled broke under me. Apparently aunt May bought it for me when I was 3 and they weren’t made for 15-year-olds to ride on asphalt.”
Tony snorted loudly.
“Is this the reason why you are so depressed today?” Tony couldn’t believe that. Does the kid know he has a billionaire best friend? Tony looked up at the ceiling.
“Friday, order the best sled you can find.”
“Mr.Stark, you don’t have to…”
“The sled is ordered, sir. Will be delivered tomorrow afternoon, around 13:00-14:00.”
Peter almost jumped up, his eyes were sparkling with the love and a deep, raw appreciation is readable on his face.
"Oh my god, Mr. Stark, you didn’t need to-"
Tony stopped him with a careless wave of his hand, that was still a little bit stained in a motor oil.
"Kid, I can buy you a thousand sleds, you just say one word."
Peter sheepishly blushed.
"I don’t think that 1000 is like necessary…"
Tony grinned.
"Are you sure? Because with your record…"
“Mr. Stark!!”
After that and a small pokes here and there, the conversation died down and it was only Peter happily infodumping about the new research about Spatio-temporal metabolic alterations in cachexia, until he received a loud notification. He rushed to open a message and after reading it, he frowned again and his brows almost caricaturely frowned with him.
Tony didn't like that. At all.
"What’s this time, kid?"
Peter, as if only now noticing that he was being watched, deliberately forced a fake (creepy, because this kid can’t lie for the life of him) smile on his face.
“Mr. Stark, it’s really nothing..”
Tony hushed him again.
“Kid, let me be the judge of it.”
Peter heavily sighed.
“Ned said he wanted to go sled today because as he found out, tomorrow afternoon, he will be going riding to California with his parents. So..”
“The sled won't arrive in time.”
“Right.”
“Right.”
The man was quiet for a moment.
He put down the screwdriver he only seconds ago took in his hand. While he wiped the remains of oil off his hands with a really old rug, his mind gears started to work hard, spinning at the speed of light.
He could probably just build Peter a sled…he will need approximately 2-3 hours.. or… it dawned on him. He quickly glanced at the corner of the room where he hoped he left something.
As Peter would say: This is gold.
“Take Steve’s shield,” Tony smirks at him.
Peter almost choked on air. “What-”
“Take Steve’s shield.”
Peter has already seemed to recover and just rolled his eyes at the joke of his mentor.
“That’s really funny, Mr. Stark, ” but Tony was looking at him seriously and Peter’s eyes almost bulged out.
“Mr. Stark, I can’t…” Peter audibly swallowed.
Tony rolled his eyes and decided to finally use his authority for good.
“You are taking the shield or God help me, I am banning you from watching Star Wars for a month.”
“MR. STARK!!”
***
Tony was really proud of himself. It wasn't often he said that about himself, but here he had some pretty freaking good reason.
Peter happily jumped and ran around the room with a shield in two hands. “OMG, MR.STARK, NED WILL TOTALLY FREAK OUT!!”
Suddenly Tone felt warmer than he had before.
His hand ruffled up Peter’s hair, making him squawk and pretend to be annoyed even though Tony knew Peter secretly enjoyed it, even more than him.
“Don’t forget to dress warm, I’ll check. You don’t want to appear in front of me without a hat, scarf or a thermal underwear, sir. Go dress up and meanwhile I will call Happy, he’ll take you two munchkins where you want.”
“Okay, Mr.Dad,” echoed sarcastically through the hallway.
Tony was ready to pay hundreds of dollars just to see Steve’s panicked face when he would realise that the shield was stolen. And also maybe to hear the phrase “Mr.Dad” just one more time. Just for laughs. Totally for laughs.
***
There they were, sitting in the living room, watching “The Walking Dead” when Steve bursted into the living room, hair disheveled, eyes shockingly wide.
“Stark-Stark, u said that u left my shield in my room, right?”
Tony smiles internally but on the outside he was as stoic and serious as ever and just raised an eyebrow at the sight of panicking Cap.
“Is Captain’s eyesight failing, that he didn't notice the huge shield in the middle of the room?” he joked ironically.
A whine almost escaped through Steve’s mouth.
He almost picks his hair out of his head but chooses rather to run his arm anxiously through his hair and starts nauseatingly pacing around the room in circles.
“Stop this, Cap. You’re making me want to throw up,” asked Clint only half glancing at Cap, his whole face was concentrated on the tv show that was on.
“Tony, I-I can’t find it. I was searching everywhere, I swear. Maybe someone stole him?” Steve muttered under his breath, thoughtfully thinking about this possibility.
Tony snorted.
“Cap, this is one of the most protected buildings in the whole world with the most brilliant technologies, who the heck could’ve entered your room and stole your shie-“
At that moment, like in some budget friendly movie, the elevator doors open and Peter bursted into the room, his nose and face all pinkish. He was breathing heavily, but his eyes were practically glowing and the smile on his face could probably radiate so much light, it would safe the whole New York in case of a blackout.
“Mr. Stark, it was the best day eve-“
His voice died down when he saw Captain America in front of him, eyes watching him in amusement and borderline shock, mouth opening and closing without any words coming out.
Clint snorted behind them.
“Stark, did u really let your kid use Steve’s shield as a sled?”
Natasha smirked.
“Peter, you better start running before Steve has killed you.”
Steve agreed, he was eagerly watching every movement the kid made, the expression on his face is unreadable.
“Listen to Nat, Peter, you better start running before I kill you.”
It was like a breath was knocked out of Tony, but nobody seemed to notice.
“Ops,” with a sound similar to squeak, Peter disappeared in the hallway, sprinting to his room.
But Tony sat still. It felt like an ice started circulating through his veins.
This familiar coldness in Steve’s voice..
“You better start hiding too, Stark. Because when I find you, I’ll kill you too together,” jokingly muttered under his breath Steve, expecting to hear some snarky reply from the man.
But it seemed that at that moment Tony’s heart stopped. He felt like instead of the usual floor, a hole appeared under him and was ready to swallow him whole. He couldn’t focus, couldn’t see, the only thing he could register behind his eyes is Steve talking away his child and killing him. Steve slamming his shield into Peter’s chest. The blood pouring out of crashed chest. Peter, having trouble to breathe. Peter, all covered in blood, looking at Mr. Stark, the fear and pleading is so prominent in his eyes.
“Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good…”
Tony couldn’t move. The only noise in his ears was the sound of Peter's blood rushing through his veins and how his heart was slowly giving up. He can see the blood pouring out of the chest wound faster and faster. He can already smell the blood and it feels like the smell will be forever imprinted in his nostrils.
The terror started creeping in Tony’s limbs and he couldn’t move. He just couldn’t move. His kid is being tored down by his ex friend and he couldn’t move.
Abruptly his lungs stopped to cooperate with him and he wasn’t able to take a breath. Suddenly everything stopped.
***
Rhodes was the first one to notice that something was clearly and awfully wrong. He didn’t pay attention to the words that came out of Steve’s mouth, he was sure it was another not-so-funny-and maybe a-little-bit-offensive anecdote from 1940s, he was just enjoying the whole atmosphere, rarely giving his input to the conversation.
It changed when he heard the shallow breathing near him. Tony’s breath was shuddered, eyes unfocused and he looked like he just got crushed with something so heavy no one could get him out of there.
Fuck.
He immediately turned to his friend, trying to calm him down and to get him out of whatever dark hole he was in.
“Hey, Tones, try breathing for me okay? Follow my breathes.”
But Tony’s unfocused eyes told him that he can’t hear him anymore.
Everyone starts to suddenly be aware of what’s going on and immediately they were being crowded by the Avengers trying to understand what was wrong with Tony.
Rhodey gritted through his teeth. He knew that it wasn’t their fault, but for the love of god, give the man some grace and a little bit of space.
“Everyone: Out,” Rhodey tried to tell them as calmly as possible while brainstorming on what could have triggered Tony.
“But we just wanna help,” Steve unsurely tried to get closer but was stopped by the firm touch of Rhodey’s hand.
“I know, but you can’t. Please, just go the heck away,” the manners started to go away and through the unpolished cracks, the rudeness started to appear, as though his instincts were screaming at him to protect his friend. Because his friend was struggling and he couldn’t help. Because there were too many people, too many eyes to witness Tony’s weakness.
They seemed to have understood his plea, because the next second it was a complete silence and just the ragged breath near him.
“Tony, hey look at me,” he took the man’s face in his arms but Tony jerked intensely. “Tones, it’s just me, Rhodey.”
There was some clearness in his face but apparently not enough because the jerking was stopped but panic only seemed to increase.
Rhodey grabbed one of Tony’s hands and pressed his trembling palm to his chest and took a deep exaggerated breath.
The next second someone appeared next to him.
“Mr. Stark, what’s wrong?” Peter rushed to them examining his mentor with pure panic in his eyes, his lip is almost trembling.
It doesn’t feel right.
But the appearance of Peter, to whom Friday most likely told that the boss was in distress, seems to have helped Tony.
He still wasn’t with them but he went from jerking to sitting still and looking at the void. Another thing to mention, he has also stopped hyperventilating. So Rhodey would say they have made a huge progress.
“Mr.Stark, can you name something that you see?”
“It won’t help him.”
Peter snapped his head and looked at Rhodes.
“Those grounding exercises, it doesn’t help him. Especially if he’s too deep. Like now.” Rhodey tried to explain to him.
Peter nodded seriously and slowly crouched near Mr.Stark and just sat in the lotus position.
“Did I ever tell you how when I was a kid I wore an Iron Man suit for the whole week?” Peter laughed quietly, not particularly looking at Tony, just at the floor.
«It was my birthday and moreover than anything I wanted to have anything related to the Iron-Man. I don’t even know where May has found it but it was the most magical thing I have ever seen. And then I refused to take it off. One time I even tried to take a bath with it on.”
“No freaking way!” Rhodey started laughing quietly.
Peter send him a hint of smile.
“Yes, I was so obsessed with Iron-man, I was actually sleeping with Iron-man plushie and in this costume for the next 4 years until I eventually outgrew them. Even though every 3 days May needed to wash it and I was running in some kind of T-shirt until I could get my hands on my costume again.”
Rhodes just shook his head in disbelief. This kid..
Rhodes slowly sat on one side near Tony and attentively listening to Peter's story, sometimes adding his own snarky comments or just straightforwardly barking out loud.
Rowdy was 99% sure that if it weren't for Tony's sake, this story would never have seen the light of day. Kid would be too embarrassed to tell it, even now, he blushed almost down to his neck but still stubbornly continued to tell the story.
He doesn't know how Peter seemed to know that talking might help, maybe it was just a coincidence? But nevertheless Stark's breathing slowed down and his vision became clearer.
“Well, you haven’t heard how Tony accidentally peed in front of everyone when he was 15.”
“WHAT?”
Well, not only kid was about to embarrass himself, right?
***
As though behind the veil he started to hear familiar voices. First, very slow, but they started to get more clear and clear.
Slowly, Tony started regaining some sort of consciousness.
The first thing he heard was a high pitched laughing.
“And then when no one was seeing, Tony stole the lizard. Five policemen were running after him but he didn’t give up and at the end—“
“How-how much did you manage to embarrass me in these 5 minutes?” Tony asked with a hoarse voice, still adjusting and looking around, blinking hazily,.
“Well, I couldn’t just let those stories die, am I right? they must be passed down from generation to generation,” Rhodes declared triumphantly, trying to glance at Tony as casually as possible.
“I don’t think this story should be particularly passed down,” his breathing was beginning to even out, that’s good, right?
„You don’t get it, it’s one of the funniest. Not to forget the one where you peed on-“
Suddenly Tony regains control of his limbs and covers Rhodeys mouth.
Peter is just straight up giggling. No shame!
“Mr.Stark, it’s not fair!!”
“Kid, don’t let the false stories Rhodey’s telling to corrupt your mind.”
Did this kid just, honest to God, pout at him?
“Since when am I the one, who is corrupting the youth?”
He didn’t answer. He sent a tired smile to his friend and then slowly, carefully and too gently, stretched out his arm and Peter didn’t need to be invited twice, he immediately rushed to Tony, burrowing into his side, head slowly thunked against his shoulder with ease.
Tony absentmindedly rubbed his thumb over kid’s shoulder and at that moment Tony realised that white noise in his head was completely gone and was replaced by giggling and funny stories and the need to hold his underoos closer to his heart.
For the first time in hours (but it probably were just minutes) he could finally breathe in peace.
Ten minutes later and Peter was already snoring on Tony's shoulder, his nose resting on his mentor’s neck. Tony inhaled the kid’s scent and threw his head back wearily. He’s safe. He’s okay. He’s just sleeping. Tony was hoping that if he tried to say it like a mantra, then maybe possibly his mind will kind of believe him?
“You wanna talk about it?”asked Rhodey, trying to say it as carelessly as possible. He knew that way Tony was more likely to talk.
“It’s nothing, it stu-“ he stopped himself because it was not stupid. Because he still feared for the kid, even though he knew Steve wouldn’t hurt him purposely but it still didn’t ease his mind. It was his kid they talked about.
“It just, Steve said, he joked that if Peter didn’t come clear he would..he would,” Tony’s breathed hitched again, just at the reminder of those words.
He looked at the kid again, hugged him tighter and looked at Rhodey, who was attentively and patiently waiting for him to continue.
“He said that Peter should run or he would kill him and I know, I know,” hastened to add Tony but Rhodey’s eyes grew wider, “that it was just a joke, but my mind didn’t wanna let it go and created the worst scenario in the head.”
Tony never understood that saying, that Clint once told him. “Having a kid it’s like having your heart walking outside of your body”. But now he understood it. Understood it, too well for his own liking. After Steve’s words, Tony felt like someone thrusted a hand into his chest to claw out his heart. And they didn’t even need to physically tore his chest open, no. They needed to target Peter and that alone crashed him because this kid has Tony’s heart.
“What kind of scenarios?” asked Rhodes. Very quietly, no louder than a whisper, the undercurrent of concern beneath those quiet words. Rhodey already knew the answer, Tony basically said it to him, but Rhodey wanted to make Tony talk.
Pained expression featured on Tony’s face. He let our another shaddered breath.
”He thrusted his shield through the kid’s che-chest,” Tony whispered, with a sharp notes in voice, covering his face with the one hand he wasn't holding the child with. “God, Rhodes, he thrusted his shield through my child’s chest,” Tony started laughing hysterically but then abruptly stopping, looking at the kid.
It was not the kind of laugh you would hear when he’s with him or Pepper, or Peter, where he just laughs genuinely. No, it was a terrifying laugh. The one of a hopeless man that saw in his mind his child dying. One bittersweet laugh, where through the sound you could see genuine tears in the prick of his eyes. That was terrifying, Tony almost never cried.
“Tony, you’re..”
“And I could do nothing to stop it… I am the one to blame. I dragged both Spider-Man and Peter into this story. He can get hurt because of me. I made him choose sides. He's only 15, Rhodey. God, he’s still a kid, he goes to 9th grade. I corrupted him. I will break him, and I will eventually destroy him..He needs to be free from me until I-“
Rhodey stopped him, taking his hand in his.
“Stop this bullshit, Tony. Do you honestly believe so? This boy would have been a Spiderman with you or without. With this fight between us, you were there for him and you didn’t expect it to get this serious. It was not your fault. And stop thinking about what could’ve gone wrong. Think about now, think about the future. This kid loves you, you’re almost his dad. He needs you. The only way you can destroy him is if you actually try to pull away. And do you wanna cause Peter almost irreversible pain?”
Tony inhaled sharply.
“No.” he answered fiercely.
“That’s your answer,” Rowdy kept looking at him seriously.
“And about Cap..he should have known better. It’s not like you can almost kill your friend and then make that kind of jokes. And especially about said person’s kid. Damn, sometimes Cap just doesn’t think.”
“It’s not his fault,” tried to weakly protest Tony.
Rhodey stirred him with a look.
“It’s not, but if he’s your friend, he should have known better.”
They just sat in silence for another hour or realistically it was just another couple of minutes.
Tony knew that ideally he should have stand up, woke up the kid so they could go to the bed and sleep like a normal human beings. But he just couldn’t find it in himself to separate from Peter and his tiredness started to settle into his bones.
He slowly started to drift away. When he heard some noise around them, he instantly pressed Peter closer to him. But then something warm and soft ended up on his body and something slipped under his head until he was no longer conscious to realise what was that.
***
Rhodey spread the blanket over Tony and Peter an got up from his knees.
“I swear, if you ever touch this kid or this man again, I will find you and personally kill you, Captain America,” muttered Rhodey under his breath, almost like a vow, laying on the couch next to his favourite people. He won’t let them get hurt. Ever.