Work Text:
Infatuation.
That is the word Sasara would use to describe his own behavior.
Infatuated with what?
Well, with Rosho.
Yes. He is hopelessly, irrevocably infatuated with the Math teacher.
Every single sentence Sasara breathes out somehow circles back to Rosho. Someone once asked where Hypnosis Mic truly begins. The answer is without a doubt: it begins with these two breaking up. Not with dreams of saving the world, and certainly not with a civil war fought through brainwashing microphones.
Both of them dreamed of becoming comedians. Unfortunately, Rosho’s comedy was… skeletal. Even tickling wouldn’t be enough to turn Cry City into Smile City. Sasara, on the other hand, was different. Having lived through pain, he wanted to create laughter for others. At the age of twenty-four, with forty-two years’ worth of experience as a clown, his talent was undeniable.
That very talent, however, crushed Rosho.
Sasara’s livelihood became the thing Rosho could no longer swallow alongside his meals, the thing that made every outfit feel ill-fitting. On stage, under the witness of bright lights, their comedy duo had only one person truly shining.
And so, the fateful day arrived.
Rain poured down as if trying to wash away all the pressure weighing on Rosho’s shoulders. He went to Sasara’s place and broke up with him. Sasara, foolish and naïve, thought an absent-minded “yeah, okay” would be enough. That Rosho would eventually reconsider. He never imagined Rosho would actually pack up and become a teacher.
Naturally, Sasara was devastated.
So devastated, in fact, that he quit comedy altogether and became a delinquent.
Pretending to understand that logic would be a disrespect, but it does show how severe the impact was. From someone who lived to make others laugh, Sasara spiraled after losing Rosho. Smoking nonstop for days, destroying the very throat that fed him. Anyone who’s been heartbroken knows: you smoke to fill the emptiness in your chest. He even mistook a delinquent for Rosho just because they had similar hair. It wouldn’t be surprising if his résumé said “applied for organised crime because I miss my Rosho.”
Which makes sense. Because Sasara is infatuated with Rosho. Eventually, he quit smoking, dressed himself properly again, and returned to his unfinished dream. Manzai comedy requires two people, but Sasara was skilled enough to write and perform solo in front of crowds. Still, you can quit cigarettes, but cannot quit Rosho.
He once said: “I perform alone because no one is as interesting as Rosho.”
Some time later, Osaka joined the Division Battle. Sasara received the invitation, and of course, he was smart enough to recognize it as his second chance. They say if you’re addicted but too shy to act, you’ll never get anywhere. Sasara’s skin is as thick as the walls of Chuohku, so once again, he invited Rosho to join his team. He even revived the name Doutsuitare Hompo: the same name their old manzai duo once used. (Rei was not in the plan, he was a... bonus.)
And against all odds, the teacher accepted. Thus began Sasara’s grand project: bringing Rosho home and hiding him away.
It started with Sasara having an entire keyring to Rosho’s place. Apparently, he’d had them for a long time; he just chose now to confess. The moment people learned this, the fact that he had already been living under Rosho’s bed was confirmed. His skill set? Stalking Rosho. And that’s not all, he even put a GPS tracker on him. No idea what exactly he wants, but only this truth is real: he never wants to lose Rosho again.
Sasara’s infatuation comes with a prescription. Now a famous comedian, one would assume Sasara would drag Rosho back onto the comedy stage with him.
Well, he doesn’t.
Because he respects Rosho’s current dream: guiding and teaching his beloved students. And Sasara supports that wholeheartedly.
New eras bring new dangers. Rosho’s students are either tangled up with delinquents or gambling rings. Who knows how his students study when Rosho ends up calling a comedian to clean up the mess of these problem children? That’s why Sasara often barges into classrooms mid-lesson, simply because he misses Rosho. He visits so frequently that the entire school probably thinks the two of them are dating. The first person to spread that rumor would be the principal.
At this point, who knows what address Sasara officially lists on paperwork, but if you want to find him, just go to Rosho’s place. He even lists Rosho as his emergency contact. Pretty sure when Sasara is hospitalized, the medical staff would call Rosho first. The only thing left undone is putting his name on the deed. Rosho’s parents are strict, but the moment Sasara’s birthday saved in Rosho’s speaker system, they’d be coming out soon enough.
Sasara once lived in loneliness, born from an unhappy family. Sasara once lost his way by hurting the person he loved most. Sasara once wore a mask of false laughter.
But now, home has Rosho. And now, Rosho stands beside him, performing comedy together, making Sasara smile as brightly as a lucky beckoning cat.
Sasara once whispered: “This time, I’ll definitely bring him to the top of the world with me.”
Everything will be fine. If, after the final Division Battle, Sasara really does become prime minister, the first thing he’ll do is legalize same-sex marriage. Just so he can officially take Rosho home. In an interview, he declared, “Only death will part us.”
Sasara’s home is wherever Rosho is.
End.