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Jason, Hazel and Piper took the next shift of defending the Argo II giving a chance for Niko, Leo, Frank and coach Hedge to sleep and rest for their next shift in twelve hours, like working an underpaid part-time internship.
But Leo didn’t want to sleep. So, when he was out of their sight, he sneak to the main engine room to do some maintenance. If he tried to fall asleep, his mind would play mind games on him, pulling a trap card like Gaia. It would give him images of Percy and Annabeth as they were falling on Tartarus. Into the unknown darkness, an expression of terror on their faces. As they both descended.
Leo work as a way to hide his feelings, as a way to avoiding thinking about it, thinking how he could have done things differently. If something happened to Percy and Annabeth, it’s gonna be his fault. Hazel did get best to comfort him, telling him that whatever happen wasn’t his fault. But her words made him feel worse. She would say the same if he had left Hazel and Frank perished, instead? What if they could take down the empousai and he was his fault for being here. Maybe they could take them down, just the two of them. What if they need the fortune cookie for something else and he just wasted? What if there was a bigger problem, he would also needed to solve it?
What if…
“Valdez?” said a low and raspy voice.
Leo jumped, his lips leaving a not so manly scream. Leo never understood the title “Ghost King” Niko had, until now. The son of Hades had the ability to appear and disappear like ghost, quite fitting for him, since he look like and ghost possessing a dead corpse.
He also made him uneasy, even more that Percy.
“Oh, Ancients!” he said, trying to ignore his heartbeat and turning the situation from terrifying to humor. “I didn’t realize the prince of the Underworld would grace my humble room with his presence”.
Niko shot him a look with his dead eyes (how could someone alive, look so dead inside?), like he didn’t appreciated his attempt at humor. Still, Leo could never understand how Niko and Hazel, two fundamentally different people, could be born to the same God. Forget about the split between Roman and Greek! Hazel was nicer and more approachable that her brother.
“Leo.. why aren’t you resting?”
Leo huffed at his question. “The same could be said to you buddy. Have you look in a mirror? Even the corpse bride is prettier” he said. Niko look at him like he didn’t understand the reference. Oh, yeah, he also forgot that just like Hazel he’s also from a different time period. Oops!
“No”, said Niko, after a while. “I can’t sleep, at least not for a few more hours… That was what I was doing when I got captured. I don’t know if I prefer being in Tartarus or in the jar”.
Both situation seem terrible to Niko. On the other hand, Niko possibly knows what on Tartarus and he could asked. On the other hand, Leo doesn’t want to know, the thought, that their friend in Tartarus could face a threat, they didn’t and he knows about it… he doesn’t want to think about it.
As for the jar, he doesn’t know what it fell being trapped in a jar. He tried to thought, what it would feel if he was a jam. Or maybe if he was Jerry and Tom was able to trapped him. The next moment, he thought that Jerry would be able to find a sort of cartoon logic to escape. Then he thought if Niko knew of Tom and Jerry or Felix the Cat, or the original Mickey Mouse. Then because his brain was weird, he thought Niko as a mouse. Just the thought was ridiculous enough and he almost laugh out loud. He manage to stiffen his laugh by biting the inside of his cheek.
“That’s fair” Leo shrugged and turned to return to his work. “If you want you could stay here” he said pointing to a few wooden boxes, he use as a chair. “You can sit there. Just be careful and don’t touch the vials of Greek Fire”.
Niko didn’t take a seat, like Leo hoped, he just stood awkwardly, fidgeting with his skull ring, lost in thought, like he was debating for something. In the end he took a deep breath and Leo was found himself fixing and changing the oil in the machine.
“She doesn’t blame you”
“Pardon?” asked Leo, still trying to open the bottle of mechanical oil. The cup gave a ferocious battle, that required more struggle than that of opening a bottle of Tabasco sauce. “Who’s doesn’t blame me?” It’s Hazel? Because, I swear I didn’t…”
“Your mother. Your mother doesn’t blame you for her death”, Niko said cutting him off.
That moment, it was as a light bolt had burned inside of Leo and he froze, stop fighting with the stubborn cup of the bottle. Him, the guy with the Fire bending, the one who I was purpose to fix the engine and keep everything running smoothly, froze.
How ironic. His hand laid motionless, just like the rest of him. There was some sort of white noise on his head that made it difficult to heard from his environment. Festus’s sense his distress and let out a smoke huff smelling like liquid smoke. His mechanical gears and springs moving in a soothing mechanical lullaby.
“How?” he muttered. His voice broken and low, like a terrified child. It talk before he could think.
“I don’t know the details”, clarified Niko, being alert of his reaction and unsure. “Hephaestus told me about her to find her and in the Underworld... your mother, Esperanza Valdez”.
Of course, Hephaestus knew. He was a god, he possible also knew when he was cheating on a test or he simply didn’t care. He also didn’t understand why the god wouldn’t want to visit his mother. Obviously, it was because of the how humans can't be fixed like machines. Or maybe, just like him and almost everyone with the ability of common sense, they were wary of anything from the Underworld.
Leo would like to bash Hephaestus with the hammer just like he did with Zeus, himself. But his mind had other plans. Thanks a lot for your cooperation, Brain, I could always count on you!
“How long did you know?”
“Almost a year” Niko admitted. Leo’s heart skipped a beat. “But it didn’t click for me, until I took a good look at you”. Leo couldn’t doubt his words. He was insignificance and possibly the most expendable member of the Seven.
“Did she said anything else?”
“No” was Niko’s short answer. “That was the only thing she would say. She seem desperate to reach you, telling you that it was okay”.
Leo, against his will, imagine his mother, desperate with fear on her eyes, trying to reach him, as a kid, as the family’s workshop burned to the ground, with her inside, with him being passed out and not being able to hear her.
Leo hanged his head low, his hand slumped over his forehead, covering his eyes. “Are you okay?” Niko asked, worried. Leo was tired and he needed to change the oil and continue the maintenance or else they would be stranded in an unknown territory with monsters and it would put them in danger.
“Listen, I may not know but my mother, also passed away, I was near and I couldn’t do…”
“Just… Just leave me alone, Niko” he said, his voice having lost his usual flare and lively it was characteristically all “Leo”. Now, it was dark and so so tired. He was never expecting that the first person that would heard it, without his cheer and joy would be Niko. Leo could almost feel his surprised eyes on him.
Niko took a step front, the wooden floorboards creaking under his boots before he took a step back. “As you wish” he said simply before he left his room.
Didn’t work.
Leo stood there for a long moment. His usual methods of distracting himself didn’t work. Niko thought that he would be able to help Leo, in a way. It didn’t bring any kind of relief like he was hoping. He would rather being near her to believe it, to hear it from his own mother, those words, those simply four words.
I never blame you.
I don’t hate you.
You are my son.
Could someone be forgiven for someone’s death since he was the one to set it on fire? Her final resting place? Maybe Gaia was the one who trapped her but Leo was the one who set it on fire. Leo couldn’t forgive himself. Him blaming himself was him making sure not to made the same mistake twice.
But if The rest of the seven knew his choice, he made to save Hazel and Frank, but dooming Percy and Annabeth. They would also forgive him?
He doesn’t know.
He did want to know. But he was terrified to find out.