Chapter Text
It had been a whole month since they had been “married.” Or as blackrock called it “legal certification of bonded connection between two or more inphernals, in which permanent separation would result in decreased productivity.” married was easier to say.
He felt nothing towards Hyperlaser. He was helpful, that was for sure, but not a friend. They had only gotten married because they worked ever so slightly better together. He had done some reading on it, something about how isolating yourself for weeks at a time wasn't very good for your health. It sounded stupid but the study was conducted in blackrock and pier reviewed.
He had allowed Hyperlaser to move into his mansion at the same time. It was big enough that half the time they didn't even have to see each other. The mercenary’s cat was a bit of an issue. It didn't understand the difference between a bedroom and a lab. The thing should have been dead by now wandering freely around open chemicals and sleeping on top of biografts. Though it wasn't all bad. Every few days or so, when subspace finally allowed himself a break, they would sit and watch TV together. Princess would sit on the top of the couch while Subspace and Hyperlaser would sit on opposite sides of the same couch. There were other chairs of course, but they always sat close enough.
He was content with his life. Work for a few days, break for a night, repeat. That was until today. A letter at the door with both their names on it.
"Hyperlaser, do you have any idea why we got a letter?"
"Hm? No I don't, can you read it for me?"
"Yeah yeah, probably from the higher ups if they're sending letters." he scoffed and ripped it open. He mumbled a few things about letters being useless before finally reading.
"Ah hem, due to a recent lack of new spawns we require all legally bonded parties to... Find or spawn a new inphernal..."
He stared blankly at the letter. Hyperlaser was silent.
"There's a bit more, all parties to receive this letter have been confirmed suitable and able to complete this task. Great, there goes my first way of getting out of this."
He placed the letter in front of Hyper.
"The rest is unimportant. I'm going to get us out of this, don't you worry."
The Mercanery nodded while skimming the rest of the letter.
"Well what do we... Subspace?"
The door had already slammed shut
Subspace was picking at his claws as he waited. It didn't take long to get appointment. One look at his name and he was let in. After his claws were preaned he moved to taping, then thinking of his next experiment, then to touching and inspecting the items on the desk, then back to his claws, then finally another inphernal came in.
They had tall muted teal horns that curved in a cork screw at the ends. They looked annoyed already.
"I heard you wish to get out of the newspawn program."
"Thats correct!"
"You got a letter correct?" he nodded and they typed something down.
"You're 'married' to Hyperlaser I see... Well now tell me why you feel you should be exempt."
"Both Hyperlaser and I are disabled and work for days on end, it would be nearly impossible to spend time caring for a child."
The attendant rolled their eyes. "Yep yep, you got yourself here and are a leading scientist so I doubt any disability is holding you back. And it says here you are only required to work 50 hours and you're working about 90 plus. Your partner, I will give you some credit for, but not enough to get you out of this."
Subspace started panicking, he couldn't take care of a child it would ruin his reputation! That was just if he adopted some inphernal not spawned one of his own! What would he lose if he did? He didn't want to think about it.
"There has to be something! I have to make new biografts not take care of a kid!! Is the population so low that I, Subspace Trip Mine, have to raise a kid!"
"I don't make the rules sir." They sighed, rubbed their eyes and turned back to him, "I do have some good news, if you and your partner do have a kid then you will only have to work part time, and can send them off to a school once they reach the age! Now our time is up, no I will not accept any last minute pleads, good bye."
They grabbed their bags and were gone. Subspace slunched down covering his face with his hands. He growled before getting up. The other inphernals in the halls avoid him as he left growling and mumbling to himself.
Back at home Hyperlaser had wandered off. He knew Hyperlaser wouldn't be all mad. He cared about anything he didn't have to kill, which much to his dismay, included him. He guessed it was only right that his 'husband' reminded him to take his meds, and that he hadn't taken a break in two days, and brought him a jacket when he knew it was getting cold. It was still annoying anyway. A child could keep Hyper occupied and not bothering him.
Searching around the house, he found Hyperlaser cleaning out an unused guest room. He called his name and startled him a little.
"They said no I'm guessing? I read the fine print and it said there was really no way out."
"This sucks. They want me to work work work but also abandon all that so I can raise a stupid kid!"
"You don't have to abandon everything Subspace, you over work yourself anyway."
"No I don't!! But I guess you're right I don't have to abandon everything... When do we have to have the thing anyway."
"The letter said as soon as possible. The deadline was by status, and us living here means we only have a few days."
Subspace sighed and began to help move the guest room into place. The room looked more fancy then it was supposed to be functional. He started by removing some of the wall decorations except for the ones where short hands couldn't reach. Hyperlaser had taken on moving the furniture. Most things including the bed were pushed against the wall to leave some room in the middle.
"Do we need to buy anything right now?" Subspace asked.
"I don't think so... Let’s take the time to research before we get there." Hyperlaser left for his office with subspace following after him.
Three days later the two found themselves at spawn. He had only been once after his own spawn. It was a simple request to observe a mutation a newspawn had developed. At the time he just walked right up but now there were walls guarding the place.
"When did they build this?" Subspace asked when they stopped for the line in.
"Um, the last time someone tried to kill every newspawn they could catch."
Hyperlaser said it like it was common knowledge, but Subspace hadn't heard.
Killing babies was a little under his moral scope. It was mostly because there was no reason to, older experiments were much more insightful. It was also made strictly illegal after blackrocks population plumitied.
The line moved quickly as there were only about 3-4 inphernals in front of them. As they got to the desk another inphernal did a quick background check before they were free to go. The inside of the spawns walls held a garden like area. It was probably the most peaceful place in all of blackrock. There was only one newspawn prancing their way around. Subspace had forgotten how cute they were. Chubby little bunny-like bodys, round horns, and the smallest flat little faces. Hyperlaser tapped him on the shoulder.
"Do you want to wait or just spawn one of our own."
He was still watching the other one now playing with a toy that had been left out.
"Subspace? Are you listening?"
"Yes, yes! Let's just spawn one of our own. It can't be that bad."
Hyperlaser grabbed his hand and guided him towards the spawns fountain. He didn't look particularly happy or sad just walked slowly to the water. He sat down on his knees and tugged on subspace's arm to follow. Hyperlaser dipped the both of their hands in. It was still for a moment before the water started glowing. The light got brighter and brighter as something formed under the water. A gear appeared, seeming to be a flashbang, around it a small fluffy newspawn. They lifted dry from the water and softly landed next to them.
The baby had four bright purple smooth horns. The bottom set was like Subspace's while the top came out to the side and curved up. He quickly scooped it up and cradled it.
"Look at it!!! Look at our kid!! Hyperlaser this is the cutest little thing ive ever seen."
Hyperlaser stared at him before he replied concerned, "I've never seen you act like this... Are you ok?"
"Yes I'm just excited! Aww!!" Subspace had seemingly gone crazy, of course other newspawn were quite cute but something about this little version of him was perfect.
Hyperlaser sighed, "let's go."
Subspace held tightly to the little bean and took one last look at the one prancing around. It was clear now why no one had claimed them, they were missing an arm.
Hyper paused at the gate and waved over a guard. He hunched over so Subspace wouldn't hear, "my um 'partner' hates everyone and everything but suddenly likes our baby, any explanation?"
The guard took one at him and nodded. "Happens all the time, the spawn will sometimes cause inphernals to grow more attached to their offspring. It fades after a while."
"Thanks." he turned back to Subspace.
"Is there a problem?"
"Um nope, just asking when they renovated." hyperlaser chuckled nervously. They were stopped one more time to record the baby's gear then back home.
Subspace hadn't put it down in over three hours. He, of course, went about his regular activities but held it near him the whole time. Flashbang didn't seem to care. They mewed and babbled but didn't whine. Hyperlaser had offered to take them several times now and subspace refused. It was frankly concerning.
It was later in the afternoon when finally the new spawn started to cry. It mumbled its attempt at language not getting its point across. Subspace was confused, nothing had changed in that last couple of minutes, why would it start crying. It was fine for a while but the crying got old fast.
"Shush shush, I'm sure your dad can help you."
He found his way to Hyperlaser who was making himself some soup. He noticeably flinched when he heard the crying.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know, I brought it to you for help!"
"Oh... Maybe It’s hungry?"
"I guess. Why would they need to eat, that already seems annoying.”
“It’s a newspawn, it’s weak, look at its tiny little horns.”
“I guess, I don’t have to eat and I’m doing fine.”
“You should but that’s beside the point. I’ll give it some of my soup.”
Subspace sighed and brought Flash bang to the table. Hyperlaser brought over three bowls of soup. Subspace ignored the silent attempt to get him to eat and started feeding Flashbang.
They quieted down quickly happily eating even if it had covered its face in soup.
“That other bowl is for you.”
“I’m not hungry.”
Hyperlaser sighed but didn’t push. Subspace wiped the soup off the newspawn face as it reached for more food.
“This thing’s so strange, it’s whiny and clumsy and just utterly clueless.” Subspace commented as Flashbang slipped out of his hands and stuck its face in the bowl.
“I’m sure you were like that too as a kid,” Hyperlaser chuckled, rewarding him a glare from Subspace.
“I’m sure I was but you don’t have to bring it up! I bet you were dumber than my newspawn.” Ironically Flashbang was inching to the edge of the table, Subspace pushed them back without mentioning it.
Hyperlaser didn’t take it personally but “accidentally” stepped on his tail when he got up.
“Ow. Anyway, did you ever get a crib?”
“No, it doesn’t need one.”
“I can’t just put it on a normal bed, it'll fall right off!”
“Just sleep next to it.”
“I have things to do, I can't stop and take a nap!”
“Calm down, I guess I could take them for a bit.”
Subspace hesitated for a moment.
“Never mind, I'll just take a nap.”
He left for his room which luckily was a short walk down the hall as Flashbang was getting fussy. He didn’t like his room. It was decorated fine but sleeping felt like a waste of time; He slept exactly the amount his doctor said too and not a second more.
He set the new spawn next to him, careful not to squish it. He shushed its whines and cuddled it till it fell asleep.
“I wish I was better at this,” he whispered to himself, “I hope you end up somewhere better little me.”
He sat for a long time, silently, sleeplessly. Flash bang seemed restless as well. They twitched every few minutes and had already woken up once crying. It would continue to sleep for a bit then find some reason to wake up again. After a while both had finally fallen asleep.