Work Text:
Noir had many secrets. Secrets he kept from his family, but also secrets he kept from his spider friends.
One of these secrets he didn’t keep hidden only because it was dark and horrible, but also because he hated it and was lowkey embarrassed by it.
Noir is very different from the other spiders.
He was very strong, just not as strong as the others. The others held back during fights to not accidentally seriously hurt a criminal. But Noir never held back. He had to give everything to make sure his city was safe. So when he saw his friend give a speech to Peni Parker, after she went a little too far in a fight, about how important it is to hold back when needed, the realization that the other spiders were stronger than they led on hit him. And the realization that his powers were very different soon followed.
For example, every Peter Parker he met had a bad eyesight and every Peter Parker he met had their eyesight fixed after the spider bite. Every Peter Parker except for him. His eyesight got worse. Now he was stuck with being forced to spend the money he saved for college on new prescription lenses for his goggles, because bad guys just had to aim for the face every time.
Bad eyesight and weaker strength weren’t the only things that he was unluckily struck with. His healing was worse too. He was covered in scars from past battles, yet some other Peter Parker's he’s met were completely scar free.
But the difference he hated the most were the damned fangs.
Not only were they annoying in the sense he tended to accidentally bite his tongue or lip on a daily basis, but also because it was a hard reminder that he wasn’t normal, that he was hardly human anymore. All that remained of him was a monster created and under control of a mythical being from above. At least, that’s how he saw himself. He hated how the scars, fangs and unnatural height made him look scary. So when he was at the spider society he made sure to keep the mask on, even if most of his friends already knew what he looked like.
In his own universe he also liked when he had the mask on. Sure it didn’t help much with how scary he looked, but that was useful when he was fighting goons. What he enjoyed the most was that some people in the city still believed there was a normal guy under the mask.
Not some freak of nature.
It was comforting knowing there were still some people out there who believed he was a hero.
Another thing he was cursed with was his weird pain tolerance that was constantly changing. Some days he just barely felt pain and other days he didn't feel pain at all.
This was one of those days.
While he was turning his leftovers into tolerable cat food, a certain impatient demon of a cat was digging her claws in his ankles. He didn’t even notice it until he looked down. He frowned and scolded Ding-ding while lightly pushing her away from his ankles.
“Calm down, you’ll get your lunch.”
He placed the bowl onto the ground and Ding-ding hungrily dug in. He stared at his scratched ankles and noticed a few drops of blood dripping down. He didn’t feel any pain. He sighed.
He decided that this day he would finally put an end to the last of a dangerous gang that had been currently terrorizing the city. But it was going to be difficult with his body not warning him of any bad wounds he might get, but waiting another day would mean another day of this gang hurting innocent people and he wouldn’t let that happen more than he already had. He just had to make sure to be extra careful.
Hours passed but he finally got rid of most of the gang with only a few minor injuries of his own. Only one guy was left. One guy holding a gun. Noir was holding his gun too, his steady grip compared to the shaky grip of the goon told him he didn’t have to be scared. It was clear that this goon wasn’t experienced or happy with what he was doing. It almost made Noir feel bad for him. Almost.
“Stay back! Or I will shoot!” The goon screamed. His voice sounded unsure. Noir didn’t stay back, slowly moving forward.
“Stay calm and I won’t hurt you,” Noir responded with an undisturbed voice.
The goon’s finger tightened around the trigger. Noir didn’t stop moving forward.
Right when Noir was close his spider sense went off, but before he could move the shot was already made. A familiar loud bang followed by the feeling of something hitting his side. But no pain. He saw blood start to spread on his side and felt it dripping down. But no pain.
Noir barely moved and tightened the grip on his gun. He kept it very still and aimed at the goon, who’s eyes were wide with shock and fear. “How? How are you still standing? I-I shot you!” He yelled. His voice sounded even more panicked than before and his grip on his gun loosened to the point he nearly dropped it.
“You’re a monster!”
There was that word. Monster. Noir had heard it many times by many different people. He hated it. He hated how it reminded him of who he was. Who he was always going to be.
“Run. Get out and never get involved with a dangerous gang again,” Noir said sharply. He lowered his gun to emphasize that the guy had to run while he still could. He didn’t run. He was stuck in place, his body tense and his eyes glued to Noir’s side that was still rapidly bleeding. His eyes were still wide, filled with disbelief as Noir still didn’t move.
Judging by the goon’s look, the wound must be bad. Noir had to tend to it as soon as possible.
He waited for the goon to finally regain control of his body and run away. As soon as he was gone, Noir put away his gun and immediately started looking for something to press against his wound and stop the bleeding.
The best (and pretty much only thing) he had to press against it was his coat. He took it off and bound it around his middle tightly so it was pressing against the wound. Again, he felt no pain. He started to quickly make his way back home. He tried to stay in the shadows as much as possible. The last thing he needed was to be spotted by someone else. After a while he finally saw his apartment in the distance.
He climbed through the window of his apartment and took off his mask and coat.
Ding-ding circled around his boots to see what was going on. It looked like she was worried for him. Noir tilted his shirt a little bit to see the damage. He winced when he saw how bad the wound was. Though the wound was luckily still minor for a bullet wound, it was still bleeding a lot and needed to be treated immediately.
The easy way was to go to the infirmary in the spider society, however Noir was stubborn. He believed that with his experience he could easily deal with this alone.
He stumbled into the bathroom where he had a cabinet with medical stuff and a first aid kit. Ding-ding followed him, meowing with concern.
When he opened the cabinet he was met with barely anything. He cursed to himself. Last fight he had used up the last of his bandages. At the time he didn’t have enough money to get new ones and since then he had forgotten all about it.
He stared at Ding-ding who was still staying close to his legs.
“Your owner is an idiot.”
It looked like he wouldn’t be able to do this himself after all. He reluctantly reached for his interdimensional watch. He wanted to avoid scaring the kids so asking them was out of the question and like hell was he going to text Miguel. It wasn’t like Miguel wouldn’t help him but he would be stuck with an hour long lecture.
He also doubted Ham would have the bandages he needed.
That left Peter B or… Patrick O’Hara.
Him and Patrick had been dating for a little shorter than a month. You would expect people to start growing closer to each other after they start dating, but with Noir it was the opposite.
He doesn’t want to scare Patrick away like he did with Felicia. He really likes Patrick. But if Patrick found out who he truly was, a monster, Patrick would hate him.
Patrick would leave him. Everyone would leave him. He would be alone again.
The smart choice is to ask Peter B for help. He’s older and more experienced. Besides, if he found out about Noir being a monster, Peter B leaving would be, though still painful, less painful than Patrick dumping him.
But his heart didn’t want to listen to reason. He wanted to see Patrick again, a lot. No matter how much he tried to stay away and not seem clingy, he basically begged to hold Patrick in his arms again. He was holding the watch so long that he heard Ding-ding meow louder like a reminder that he was bleeding to death.
Fuck it.
He searched for Patrick’s contact.
-
Patrick had accepted a bounty earlier in the day. He hoped this bounty would earn him enough money to buy him and Widow a place to stay for tonight.
Judging by the oncoming gray clouds it looked like it was going to storm pretty badly tonight and he would rather not deal with rain soaking all his stuff and a terrified Widow flinching at every lightning bolt.
Luckily, if he succeeded, this bounty would give him enough to spend.
However, to succeed he first had to catch this criminal. Hours passed and he still hadn’t found any trace of this criminal, except that he was somewhere in this town.
The night was getting closer and if he wanted a nice place to stay he really needed to catch this guy. Widow was on high alert too. She was looking around with her ears moving to every sound.
Right when Patrick was getting worried about sleeping outside tonight, he finally saw him. A tall man who's look matched the drawing on the wanted poster that Patrick had been given.
Patrick tried to act nonchalant and act like he had no idea this man was a wanted criminal. Something he’s done must have given away his true intentions, because the criminal started to make a run for it.
Not on his watch.
Patrick and Widow quickly took chase. Their stealth was now ruined, but that was what Patrick was used to. While running, the man tried to reach for something in his bag.
That probably wasn’t a good sign.
Patrick slowed Widow down a little bit so they wouldn’t be too close yet and reached for the holster of his gun.
The criminal luckily didn’t pull out a gun, but he did pull out a sharp looking knife. At least it was easier to deal with than a gun, but Patrick still had to keep a close eye out.
They keep running for what feels like forever. Patrick could easily fire a web bullet to get it over with, but he didn’t have a lot of web bullets left and would like to keep a few for later battles, besides he would like to see how long this man could keep running.
Obviously, Widow was way faster and only kept a distance to avoid the knife.
Patrick had it perfectly calculated. They were running towards a dead end that the criminal didn’t seem to notice. Once there he would try to capture him with regular rope, which might get tricky with the knife the guy was still holding.
Just as Patrick calculated, they reached the dead end. Even from the distance Patrick could hear the frustrated groan coming from the criminal.
“Alright, time to give up,” Patrick spoke, moving closer, slowly. Once close, he jumped off Widow so he could get even closer to him. The man had a nasty expression on his face.
He didn’t look too happy about Patrick being here. “Don’t get involved in these things you shouldn’t get involved with, pal,” he spoke bitterly, his grip on the knife tightening ever so slightly.
Patrick wasn’t impressed. He reached for his rope. “Let’s make this quick, ‘aight? Still have to check my horse into a stable.”
Patrick just barely finished his sentence before his spider sense started yelling at him to move. He quickly moved aside, the knife that was once in the hand of the criminal now moving past him, missing him by a hair. He scoffed.
“That ain't very nice.” Patrick was silently glad that the knife was now gone, he could catch him a lot easier now. However to his unpleasant surprise the criminal reached into his bag again, pulling out yet another knife. Patrick groaned. Why could it never just be easy?
This time he started aiming the knife at Widow, like hell Patrick would let that happen.
“Alright, that’s it.” Patrick quickly reaches for his gun and fires a web bullet. The force of the web causes the criminal to fall and drop his knife. Patrick swiftly wrapped the rope around him. “Nobody threatens Widow, got that?” Patrick grinned when he saw the scowl on the other’s face.
Now that the bounty was taken care of, Patrick earned himself a fair amount of money.
It was already starting to rain and Patrick was glad he didn’t have to spend the night outside. After a reassuring pat on her shoulder, he handed Widow over to the owner of the stable. A nice gal that always took very good care of the horses. If he had to trust someone else to take care of Widow this stable was one of the best choices.
He could feel Widow’s relaxation now that she was no longer out in the beginning storm. Now Patrick just had to find a place for himself to stay. The small but nice hotel that was located in this town would do. He had stayed there once before and though it could be cleaner, it was a good place to rest for the night.
He checked into a one-person room and made his way up the stairs. The first thing he did when he entered the hotel room was take off his clothes to take a quick shower.
While in the shower he noticed the bright gray moon outside the small bathroom window.
He couldn’t help but let it remind him of Benj.
He wondered how Benj was doing. They hadn’t spoken for a while.
It was probably just because he was busy. Being a private detective was probably far from easy. Still, Patrick wondered every night when he would see him again. When he would get to see those beautiful gray eyes again, that shined brighter than the moon itself.
Benj didn’t take his mask off often, but when he did it made Patrick want to look at his face forever.
It always amazed him how someone could look so strong yet so stunning. He wished Benj could see himself the way Patrick saw him.
The unwelcome thought that Benj was avoiding him on purpose sometimes swirled around in his head. He had to keep in mind that Benj was a very complicated person. Even more complicated than himself or any other spider he’s met.
He shouldn’t immediately jump to the worst case scenario. Still, the thought that Benj wasn’t happy with their relationship always stayed in the back of his mind.
Even so, he would want Benj to be happy.
Even if it meant if he was happy without him.
Once dry and dressed, Patrick stepped out of the bathroom and almost immediately noticed his interdimensional watch lighting up, meaning he got a message. It was probably Miguel to tell him about another mission. To his surprise, it wasn’t Miguel, it was Benj.
A warm feeling went through his chest, but that feeling quickly turned into concern when he read the messages.
My moon ❤:
Can u bring bandages
An medical tpae
tape
kinda urgent
dont if ur busy
Though typing mistakes weren’t uncommon for Benj, that along with asking for medical things made some worry rise in Patrick’s chest.
Through their riders sense Patrick could feel Widow wondering why he was worried. He tried to calm her down while quickly looking in his bag for all the medical junk he always kept for emergencies.
Once he got all he needed he put on his watch and opened a portal to the gray world of Benj.
-
Noir saw the portal opening and felt a little nervous. Why? He wasn’t sure.
Maybe because it was a while since he saw Patrick. Or maybe because his mask was off.
As soon as Patrick stepped through, Noir’s worries left for just a moment.
But once he saw Patrick’s eyes dart to his side and widen slightly, the worries returned.
“Sorry for the bother, got the bandages?” Patrick laughed quietly but it was clearly filled with concern.
“Only you would act so casual about a bad wound.”
Noir tensed a little. What did that mean? Did Patrick saw him as weird? Patrick must have noticed something about Noir change, because his face softens.
Noir forgot how expressive his face could be without his mask.
He wished he had his mask.
Patrick moved closer slowly. “It’s a joke, darlin', I’m just saying you’re real tough.”
“Right, uh, thanks, can I have the bandages?”
Patrick’s eyes darted to Noir’s side again. “You don’t plan on dealing with that yourself, are you?”
Noir stayed quiet.
“Benji… come on, lemme help.”
Patrick gently pushed Noir to the couch. Noir wanted to protest, he really did, but something about Patrick always made him want to listen to him.
Once Noir was seated, Patrick grabbed the supplies and started to reach for Noir’s shirt.
“Mind if I lift this, Benj?” Noir shook his head, trying to talk as little as possible.
Partly to regain the energy he lost, mostly to hide his fangs from Patrick.
Patrick slowly raised his shirt. Though he tried to hide it, Noir noticed the way Patrick slightly winced at the sight.
Patrick grabbed the supplies he brought with him. “I’m glad I brought stitches… you don’t mind if I stitch it, do you?” Noir shook his head again. Patrick hummed and started to clean the wound. He stared at Noir’s lack of a reaction. “This don’t sting to you?” Noir didn’t know what to say. He could take the easy way out. Lie and say that it does hurt he’s just good at hiding.
But he couldn’t directly lie to Patrick, it just didn’t feel right.
“I just have a high pain tolerance.”
It wasn’t lying. But it wasn’t the full truth either. “Hm, impressive,” Patrick said while grabbing the stitches. Normally this would be the part Noir hated the most, but this time, once again, he couldn’t feel the pain. He barely even felt the needle as it kept entering and leaving his skin. Patrick didn’t say anything, but he kept gazing over at Noir every now and then and it made Noir wish even more that he was wearing his mask.
He felt too watched like this. Like every movement of his face would be analyzed and used against him. That's what he always did when he was doing his detective work.
“Stitches are done,” Patrick said, cleaning the wound one last time before stretching his arms for a moment and grabbing the bandages. “I’m gonna wrap it up now.”
Noir stayed still and silent. He saw Patrick’s gaze slowly turn more and more concerned every time it landed on him.
“You alright? You’re dang quiet over there. Are you feeling any pain?” Patrick had a softer, friendlier tone to his voice as he said it. It almost made Noir want to open up to him. He hated that being so close to someone made him want to be honest and vulnerable.
Spiderman was not allowed to be vulnerable.
“M’not feeling any pain.”
“Then what’s going on? ‘Can’t help ya if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
Noir knew Patrick was on to his feelings. He needed to work on controlling his expressions.
“I’m fine, Pat. Thanks for helping me.”
Patrick’s eyes widened and Noir realized too late that he made no effort hiding his fangs.
Immediately his mouth closed, but judging by Patrick’s expression it was already too late. A wide grin slowly made it's way onto Patrick’s face. “Darling, mind opening your mouth for me?” Noir narrowed his eyes and placed a hand in front of his mouth.
A mix of panic and embarrassment flew through his mind. Heavy on the embarrassment with Patrick looking at him like that.
“Come on, I want to see them.”
Patrick started climbing onto the couch. Noir tried his best to ignore that his legs were pressed between Patrick’s knees and that Patrick was a few inches away from sitting on his lap.
Patrick proceeded to pull his hand away and try to pull his lips apart. “Come on now-“ Patrick froze as he succeeded in opening Noir’s mouth, revealing his two pointy fangs.
They might be smaller and less sharp than Miguel’s, but they were still weird in Noir’s opinion. Patrick on the other hand started to have an amazed expression. “Well would you look at that. Benj! How come you never told me you had fangs?”
Patrick’s excited voice and look was not what Noir had expected. He had expected disgusted and angry yelling by now. “I uh… never found a reason to tell you.”
“I’m surprised I hadn’t noticed, we kissed!” Patrick smiled. “I think they look great.” He finally pulled away from Noir. “You think they look great?” Noir asked with a tone of disbelief. To which Patrick nodded “Why didn’t you think of telling me?”
Noir stayed quiet for a moment then sighed. “They make me look like a monster.”
Patrick’s expression softened and he frowned slightly. “You’re not a monster, darlin.”
The phrase shouldn’t have hit him so hard. Shouldn’t have made him tense with an intense feeling of relief.
Patrick didn’t see him as a monster. But how long would it take before he did?
How long before Patrick found out that he was nowhere near normal.
“Oh, Benj…” Patrick said softly, noticing his expression. “Don’t think of yourself that way.”
“Patrick, I am.” He said coldly.
He didn’t mean to sound so harsh, he was more harsh to himself than to Patrick.
“I wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider. I was bitten by a mythical spider. I'm different.”
“And you’re also strong, handsome, caring and yes, different. Different in a good way. Which is the reason why I love you,”
“You love me?”
“Benj, we’re dating, of course I love you,”
A small smile formed it's way onto Noir’s face. “I love you too.”
Patrick’s expression changed to what looked like a look of relief, which made Noir start to feel anxious that Patrick thought he didn’t love him. Had he been neglecting their relationship?
“You do know that, right? That I love you?” Noir asked softly.
Patrick nodded, but Noir could tell that he had been unsure about it by the way he was avoiding his eyes. “Pat…”
“Of course I know! but with how distant we’ve been…”
Noir rested his forehead against the other’s. “I really love you, Patrick. I’ve only been distant because I was afraid of myself and how you would react.”
Patrick smiled again and then moved in closer.
“Is it a bad moment to kiss ya?”
Noir managed to stop himself from snorting.
“No, I'd be delighted if you kissed me.”
And that’s exactly what he did. It felt amazing to feel Patrick’s lips against his again. The cowboy stayed gentle because of his side and it stayed at just kissing because of it. But that kiss was already enough. It was everything that Noir had needed without even knowing it.
And to Patrick it was finally the confirmation he had needed. That Benj did like him. That he loved him.
Patrick’s tongue slipped into Noir’s mouth to lightly touch his sharp fangs. It should have made Noir feel nervous or embarrassed at the reminder that his teeth were different. But it didn’t. It made him feel loved for every part of himself. It made him feel good.
After they were done they both sat on the couch. Ding-ding laid dramatically across both their laps.
Noir didn’t feel the need to hide his fangs anymore.
“So I assume the lack of pain is part of those differences too?” Patrick didn’t sound judgmental. He sounded interested.
“Sometimes I feel some pain, a lot of times I don’t at all.”
“Sounds pretty handy.”
“Not when you’re bleeding without even noticing it.”
Patrick made a ‘hm’ sound in understanding.
“Well in that case I’m extra happy you called me over. Don’t hesitate to do it again when needed.” He looked over at Noir with a hint of seriousness in his expression. It was very important to him that Noir stayed safe.
“Only if you promise to do the same if you ever need help.”
Patrick looked at him with a soft smile which Noir mirrored.
“I promise. It would be a nice excuse to see ya more often.”
That triggered a chuckle out of him. “Of course, I would love to see you more often too.”