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@talktomekimk401 so my friend was out last night and texted me that she hooked up with Ilya Rozanov at a club… like, god, i see what you have done for others…
@hockeygurlie81 me when i lie
@talktomekimk401 wtf. go take ur pathetic obsession elsewhere
@rightnowitspucktime what city is ur friend in
@talktomekimk401 Ottawa
@rightnowitspucktime likely place for him to be
@metmymatches39 checks out
@myveryowngoal idk it just feels weird for us to be talking about when Ilya hasn’t been papped with anyone in a while. Maybe he wants to be like, private about it?
@hockeygurlie81 or he is in a committed relationship & wants us 2 know he wld never?
@myveryowngoal gurlie, you need to chill
@justmy8181 if Ilya was out partying last night then where are the pics? that man has appeared in more poorly lit cellphone pics than any other sports celeb. we the people deserve this.
@raiderfan0286 he was hotter in a black jersey 😩
@mirandaletsitgo so true bestie!!!
@no1hockeystanrozy honestly i think this latest “account” is fake based on photos from post game. some of the team posted from a nearby bar, but ilya isn’t in any of the pics
@ruethedai visiting team prob left right after to drive home, so not a lot of hangs
@rozyrozyoioi honestly, a mood. i can barely keep my eyes open after 9pm
@itsPOPnewz PLAYBOY IS BACK? ROZ COULDN’T KEEP HIS HANDS OFF GIRL FRIEND, CLAIMS SOURCE
@ottawacecile source: literally some tweet
@jedlikesstick i am also fucking ilya rozanov, fwiw #trustme
@hockeygurlie91 lol. me too i guess. i am spartacus
@spartacus4real I AM SPARTACUS
@talktomekimk401 yall are so weird and parasocial. no i don’t have proof. my friend hooked up with a curly haired russian guy who said he was ilya rosonov. fwiw she said he was just okay in bed
@ilyasthighsx this is conclusive proof imo. ilya would never be just “okay” in bed
@talktomekimk401 hockey fans are unhinged. fr.
@kookybutkute so my friend just texted me and she is currently having a threesome with ilya rozanov, leo dicaprio, and bono. #trustme
@itsottawabitc wouldn’t that be a foursome?
@kookybutkute i was born to shitpost, not do math
@hollandaze11 will someone pls tell Shane to come get his bff? he’s at my house proposing rn and i need to finish cooking dinner #trustme
Given that Ottawa is his hometown, Shane generally gets away with driving himself to Montreal games and spending the night when his schedule allows.
When he wakes up this time, he’s tagged in a bunch of tweets about Ilya, which gives him a moment of panic, but – no. Apparently Ilya went out last night, partied, and hooked up with some woman?
He looks over at his boyfriend, who is passed out and drooling unattractively on his pillow. “Ilya.”
“Нет. Уходи. Я мертв.” Ilya mumbles this, reaching out to pet Shane comfortingly. “Shhhhh.”
“There’s a thing on Twitter…”
“Is trending?”
“No.”
“Can wait.”
When they’d left the arena last night (separately, because they’d both driven and neither wanted to leave their car), Ilya’s team had invited both of them to go out. They’re friends, so it wouldn’t be weird, which Shane reminds himself whenever it happens. Ilya declined, however, citing pain in his shoulder, and Shane had left with apologies shortly after. They’d been at Ilya’s within fifteen minutes, and in bed about five minutes after that.
Shane is going to have to leave before lunch, probably, if he wants to get home in time to get all the things done he needs to do – laundry, dishes, picking out Ilya’s birthday present. He should go get his workout in, or maybe load his car ready for later. Ilya might not be up for while, and Shane can’t quite bring himself to wake him.
@ilyarozanov81 everyone is very concerned with me going out after game or not. should be concerned with imposter using my name to have bad hookup!!!!
@wyatthayesmlh kinda creepy there’s doppleganger out there
@HarrisDrover two of them???
@ilyarozanov81 NO. This other me is imposter!!!!
“You are making this worse,” Shane tells him, glasses on in bed as he looks into his phone’s bright screen. “You know that you are keeping this story alive, right?”
“Ah,” Ilya says, his head resting against his headboard, the phone too close to his nose. “But now it is not about me cheating on you.”
“I know you didn’t –”
“Of course you know this, but now everyone knows.”
There’s a long pause. Shane thinks before he speaks. “Ilya, they don’t know –”
“I know. Is not the point.”
Shane feels himself relax a little, his body’s attempt to counterbalance the stress in Ilya’s shoulders. “Okay. What is the point?”
Ilya’s eyebrows furrow, and Shane knows he’s seeking the words. “Someday, they will know this – that I love you. And there will be some that say ‘ah, but both of them, they date other people, and Rozanov, he is so handsome –’” Shane bites down his smile. “ – and maybe they think that this person is me, and they think I am cruel to you.” Ilya licks his bottom lip. “I do not like that they think that.”
Shane wants to get this right. Ilya preparing for a future where they’re public isn’t new, but the idea that he’s defending their relationship in advance feels – good, he guesses, but it also hurts a little. The idea that Ilya might carry regret for the years before they were able to talk about it, it makes Shane itch to defend him from himself. From an invisible future internet who thinks Ilya could ever do anything like that to him, now that they are this.
“Hey, when people know –” Using the when is big for him, still. He always thought it would be an if. “Whatever shit people say about us, about who we were then… they weren’t there.” It’s not great. Obvious. He tries again, clearing his throat. “Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov have been in an exclusive relationship since mid-2017. They appreciate your respect of the privacy they value in their life together.” He clears his throat. “Or something like that.”
Ilya’s smile is small, but real. “Is good.”
“Mom wasn’t kidding about drafting a few statements, in case you couldn’t tell.”
“I knew this.” Ilya’s hands fidget with his phone for a moment, then the picture stabilizes. “Ah, I feel…insane with it sometimes. I want them to know how much this is for me, but also keep their filthy hands away from – it is stupid.”
This is, Shane realizes, not entirely about them coming out. It’s this hard-won ease, Ilya’s delight in the depth of their chemistry, at odds with the desire to hold things close and keep them safe.
“That’s pretty much how I feel all the time,” he says truthfully. “Only I’m less used to the sharing part.”
Ilya raises an eyebrow.
“Sharing information, god.” This whole conversation is so out of his comfort zone, and Shane feels the edges of what he knows could have been panic. “The point is: I know you, okay.”
Ilya breathes. “Yes. мой Красавчик…” His lips look entirely kissable. “я тебя люблю.”
“я тебя люблю,” Shane repeats, the most familiar words in the world. I love you. I love you.
From there, it’s easier.
***
It all culminates, this time, when Rose does a ridiculous lie detector test as part of the promo tour of her new movie. She’s asked about which costar was the best kisser, which role was her favorite, and then the interviewer trots out shots of a bunch of well known hockey players. Shane is watching, because she told him to and because he is a good friend.
“Please tell me you aren’t going to make me rate them,” she laughs easily.
They aren’t. It’s a thinly veiled PG version of Smash or Pass, called Kiss or Miss. She opts to kiss Shane (“we’re best friends,” she says with a smile, “so on the cheek. Really!),” kiss Scott Hunter (“with his boyfriend’s permission!”), and then Ilya’s face comes on screen. She quirks her lips, thoughtful. “Miss, I think. No offense, but he seemed like kind of a [bleep]boy.”
Rose has been trying to shed a little more of the child-star wholesome image, post x-squad blowup, so this in itself is not surprising. It may give her agent a blood pressure spike, but mostly people seem to think it’s cute, and done out of love for her ex-boyfriend.
Ilya, of course, has other thoughts.
@ilyarozanov81 I have looked up this word, fuckboy. Always nice to know new slang. 😜
@ilyarozanov81 @roselandry Next time you are in Ottawa I will take you to nice coffee shop in downtown. Is very good cappuccino. My best friend @shanehollanderhockeyplayer and I will buy you fries with weird cheese gravy.
@roselandry omg I would love that! fry dates are the best, no kisses required 🍟
@omgrosie are u really hitting on your “bff”’s ex? fuckboi indeed
@ilyarozanov81 polite coffee invite. word meaning is different with i at end instead of y?
@shanehollanderhockeyplayer Stop it.
For Shane, the most unbelievable part of all of this is the claim that Ilya has never heard the word fuckboy before.
“Dictionary says these boys are disrespectful to women!” he complains as they work out in Ilya’s home gym, the picture of early morning moral outrage. “I think is very wrong, to be like this.“
Shane is not willing to pull the pin on the grenade of analyzing early twenties Ilya’s treatment towards women – Shane loves his boyfriend, but he has also, like, met him – so he goes for the path of least resistance. “All I’m saying is that you can just… not respond when people say this shit.” He ignores Ilya’s throaty chuckle, finishes his set, and kisses the menace off of his boyfriend’s face.
***
Six years later, the screenshots resurface. Ilya takes it well.
@ilyarozanov81 Fuckboys are still not good. I think they should aspire to #fuckmen
@shanehollanderhockeyplayer jesus christ
@ilyarozanov81 whatever gets them there
@shanehollanderhockeyplayer I am divorcing you
@ilyarozanov81 😫😭💔