Work Text:
Pomni‘s face lit up as she spotted the little white, round mushrooms behind a mossy, fallen log, scrambling towards them. She kneeled down to twist a couple until they came loose and added them to her woven basket. Sitting down on the log, feet dangling as she compared her findings to the pictures in the book Caine had given each of the circus members, she ensured she wasn‘t mistaking them for something poisonous. She was only missing one more kind of mushroom now, maybe she actually stood a chance of winning this!
The adventure Caine had picked for them was quite relaxing compared to what he typically liked to come up with, at the request of Zooble who had won their last adventure. Caine had visibly slumped at this but conceded nonetheless, as he had promised the winner could influence the next adventure, just happy that Zooble had participated for once. Thus, they were given a basket, a mushroom hunting book and a recipe book, tasked to pick a recipe and find all the necessary fungi needed to make it, with the twist that he had hidden poisonous doubles they would have to watch out for. If they picked an inedible one, they were disqualified.
Pomni checked the page for the devious double of her button mushrooms, raising a brow at it. She highly doubted any actual mushroom possessed sharp teeth for gills. Shrugging at Caine‘s antics, she moved on, enjoying the sound of the dried, crunching leaves beneath her feet, even if their existence hardly made sense in the monoculture pine forest they were in.
She had gotten separated from Ragatha and Kinger upon getting distracted in her search for the portobello mushrooms her recipe, dumplings, required, having found the two nowhere to be seen by the time she had gathered them. Knowing there was no real threat this time, however, she wasn‘t too bothered, enjoying her quiet nature walk, her only company the sound of birds chirping in the distance.
Searching to fill the silence, she began to hum a tune she didn‘t remember the words to, but something told her she had quite enjoyed the song back in the real world. The foggy woods had unsettled Gangle, but Pomni was appreciating their moody atmosphere.
She stopped in her tracks and stayed as still as she could when she heard a rustling noise that wasn‘t her. A few deer emerged, and she was watching them look about for threats before they decided the area was worth staying in.
Pomni was always a fan of deer. She remembered that they could eat a lot of different kinds of mushrooms… Caine probably didn‘t bother to actually code in which ones they preferred, but she hoped he included a mechanic that allowed them to eat. Thinking about all these logistics admittedly made it more difficult for her to pretend she wasn‘t stuck in a fake world, but she had to find the little joys she could get.
She took one of the freshly picked button mushrooms, holding it out in front of her as she slowly moved towards the closest deer. It noticed her immediately, ears flicking at the sound of her steps, impossible to keep quiet on the uneven terrain, but it didn‘t run. Instead, much to Pomni‘s delight, it hesitantly approached her. The creature was taller than her, which left her breath hitching. They weren‘t last she went to a wildlife park, and the dissonance left her hesitant.
She recovered her bearings as the deer sniffed her offering, its cute wet nose almost making her coo, but she held herself back in fear of disturbing it. Eventually, it decided the mushroom was worth eating, taking it from her hand and leaving it just as covered in deer spit as she remembered from before. It was admittedly gross but made her giggle.
The deer sniffed her hand again and moved on when it found it empty, but Pomni was delighted, continuing her search with a pep in her step after she wiped her hand on her costume. Aside from spending the nights in her room, which she didn‘t exactly enjoy being in as it felt childish and garish to her, Pomni didn‘t get a lot of time to herself in the circus. She didn‘t particularly mind, having come to quite enjoy most of her fellow captives‘ company, but she found a certain relief in not being watched for once.
The signature scent of mushrooms was hitting her once more. She had noticed it come up every time she was close to a mushroom cluster, likely implemented in order to make the search easier for them, but Caine had left them all smelling exactly the same: like how she remembered the mushroom section smelling at the grocery store.
If these were shiitake mushrooms, she would have everything she needed! As the scent grew more potent, she looked around at the different tree trunks, having seen them depicted growing on wood in the guide.
Lo and behold, there they were, just a few steps away from her, littering the tree like little half moon shelves. Caine had said that finding the last correct ingredient would automatically teleport them back to where the adventure had begun to wait for everybody else, so she readied herself for the uncomfortable sensation as she picked the mushroom and dropped it into her basket.
Nothing happened.
Pomni frowned. Maybe she needed more?
Heartrate beginning to pick up, she took more mushrooms until her basket was entirely full.
Still nothing. She must have made a mistake.
She removed some of them until she could grab one of each type to compare to the guidebook again, and cross referenced the recipe once more to ensure she had picked the right species. Everything was correct. So why was she still here?
Pomni looked about uneasily. She had not bothered to try and remember how to make her way back to the spawn point, relying on Caine to bring her back like he said, either when she succeeded or failed. The massive expanse of the woods sprawled out into all directions, no paths present for her to try. She drew in on herself, suddenly feeling utterly small among the towering pines.
Anxiety leaving her restless, she turned around for the direction she thought she came from, needing to do something. Her steps became quicker, more desperate, stumbling over stray rocks and branches as she hoped to find anything she recognised on her way there, but Pomni had spent her leisurely stroll distracted halfway through, trusting she would be able to smell when she was close to finding something. And so, she recognised nothing. She was lost.
Still, she continued on, on and on until her legs grew sore and she could have sworn the trees were delighting in her suffering, sneering at her from above. Exhausted, Pomni finally stopped, breathing ragged and uneven as she rested her hands on her knees.
A deep buzz was beginning to fill the air, Pomni initially attributing it to her own panicked state until it grew louder, closer, creeping from behind her.
The sound had become deafening, Pomni left to cover where her ears would be as she cowered in pain. She was knocked forward, falling towards the mossy ground and catching herself on her forearms as the sound, the shockwave, passed her.
With a groan, Pomni picked herself back up, head pounding and a high pitched ringing invading her mind for a few seconds. She let herself fall to the ground again, sitting there with her eyes blankly staring ahead, but she did not process what she was looking at.
She was cold. The fog crept closer, making it difficult to see further than a couple trees ahead. Had Caine lied? Had he made this adventure into another way to torture them after all, lulling them into a false sense of security before pulling the rug out from under them, laughing at them from his safe office as he saw them suffer?
Something in her knew that wasn‘t true. She still felt discomfort run down her spine in a shiver at the thought of him watching her, but something was off. Caine wasn‘t subtle. When he wanted to scare them, he threw all his horrible ideas at them to see what would stick.
The woods had become hauntingly quiet. No birds chirping, no insects buzzing, not even the wind blowing past her. It was dead.
She was struck by the realisation that she should not be there, clamping her eyes shut until she saw spots. But when she opened them, and looked up, all she saw was the darkened, starless sky mocking her. Maybe, if she looked long enough, she could pretend she was looking at the night sky of the circus. It was a futile attempt.
She was alone. She could traverse the entire map and she would still be alone. They weren‘t here. Tears began to well in her eyes as she continued to stare upwards, the position beginning to hurt, but she couldn‘t find it in herself to move even as her shivers went from mild to violent, shaking her whole small body.
Her heart skipped as she watched one of the tree canopies blink out of existence for a second, reemerging as if nothing had happened. Was she beginning to hallucinate?
She was finally able to move, glancing down at her shaking hands with great effort. She wasn‘t supposed to be here. Everyone else had left, back in the safety of the circus, and they had left her behind.
What happened to these places when the adventure was over? Did these worlds stay behind when they left, continuing on without them?
Pomni wanted to hope so, but she couldn‘t. Caine didn‘t care in the slightest for the NPCs he created, even when they grew a consciousness. Gummigoo was proof of that. What was the use for him to keep these places around? They had gone on so many adventures by now, she couldn‘t imagine there was a system out there that could manage to leave them all running simultaneously and smoothly. No, Caine probably froze these worlds when they were not there, Pomni reasoned.
Unless… She had played video games before getting stuck there. It was why she had been curious to try the cursed headset on in the first place. And when she left an area in those games, they ceased to actively exist until she returned back to them.
Caine liked to reuse NPCs every now and then, but he- they didn‘t remember her. Like they had only just begun to exist anew, any memories except for the ones they were coded to have gone. They couldn‘t lay dormant. They ceased to exist until Caine decided they may be useful once more.
What happened when a game didn‘t realize a player was still there?
She noticed more trees flickering in and out of existence, at a rapid pace that left her dizzy, the very ground floor she was sitting on temporarily replaced by a purple and black checkerboard pattern she recognised as a lack of a texture to apply onto the asset.
Pomni scrambled backwards at the sight of it, chest rising and falling as she gasped for air. They had left her in this disintegrating forest. On purpose? Deciding they had finally had enough of her and thinking that waiting for her to hopefully abstract one day would take too long?
Or was she not even worth abandoning on purpose. Had she simply been forgotten.
She should have known. They had only been placating her. Jax‘s words invaded her mind like tar crawling up her body and close to her mouth, threatening to suffocate her. I would move on, and probably forget about you.
Kinger rarely remembered much anyways, even if she knew he cared when he could. Zooble and Gangle had seemingly warmed up to her, but she saw how they looked at each other. They didn‘t need her. And Ragatha-
Her chest ached at the thought of her forgetting her too. They must all be better off without her. She had thought her and the older woman had become closer, hoped she could call her a friend, that what she had initially interpreted as her infantilizing her had just been her clumsy way of trying to show she cared.
But maybe she really had thought that little of her.
Unable to keep it in any longer, Pomni crumpled, dissolving into a shivering mess. They would leave her to die in a world that was falling apart, left a prisoner of her mind until then. If she would be given the kindness to die. With her luck, she would be left to float alone in the void until she succumbed to her weakness at last, left to be thrown into the cellar. There would be no funeral for someone like her.
---
Ragatha picked the last mushroom she needed, bracing for the teleportation that followed right after, just as Caine had promised. Everyone else was already waiting for her, even finding Kinger there, who had been disqualified for eating a poisonous mushroom. It hadn‘t even looked like one he was supposed to be looking for, he had simply been curious, and Ragatha noticed too late to stop him.
Clearly, she hadn‘t won, but she was alright with that. The adventure had been relaxing, though she had missed Pomni when they got separated. She scrutinized the people around her, subconsciously searching for a certain blue and red hat, and frowned when she came up empty. She thought she had taken a while, was Pomni really still looking?
Before Ragatha could go towards Gangle and Zooble to ask if they had seen her, the scenery changed from the clearing they had been on to the overwhelming colours of the circus, Caine immediately going on about how Gangle had been the first to find all the needed ingredients, and how Kinger, Jax and Zooble had all been disqualified. That must mean Pomni had finally been done too after all, and Ragatha hadn‘t seen her before Caine brought them all back.
She looked around for her again, eyebrows drawing together in confusion as she still came up short.
„Caine?“ she asked, loud enough that he paused his rambling.
„Yes, Ragatha?“ He looked confused as to why he had been interrupted, hands on his hips as he floated above them.
„Where is Pomni?“
That caught Zoobles attention, now looking around too before throwing their ringmaster a glare. „Caine,“ was all they said, an impatient, angry tone to their voice.
He looked uncomfortable at the negative attention, scrambling to make their scrutiny stop. „No need to worry, she‘s right-! There...“ He trailed off when he too came up short, snapping his fingers in order to summon her.
Nothing happened.
He snapped again, again, again. Still nothing. „I-I, uhm...“ Caine was fidgeting with his hands, averting his eyes from their gazes.
Zooble was the first to speak up. „Where is she. Caine, what did you do,“ they said, sounding as though they were gritting their teeth. Ragatha had never gotten the impression that Pomni and Zooble had been close, but the two got along perfectly fine, and apparently, that was enough for Caine to gain their ire.
He finally spoke up. „Did you… see her at the clearing?“
They all considered his question, shaking their heads.
„Oh dear.“
„What did you do?“ Zooble repeated, incredulous.
„If she wasn‘t with you all at the clearing, then she must still… be there.“
„In the woods?“ Ragatha asked. „Alright, then go and get her back.“
„I… can‘t,“ he said, sounding uncharacteristically quiet. „I didn‘t need that map anymore, so I deleted it. I do that after every adventure, I only keep the assets I used. I can‘t keep everything I make around...“
Horror was dawning on Ragatha. „You deleted her?“ she asked, voice tiny and disbelieving.
At that, even Jax‘s eyes widened at her words, and Gangle‘s mask, which had somehow stayed intact until now, was breaking apart.
„No no no no!“ he hurried to appease them, waving his hands around in front of him. „I can‘t delete humans, even if I tried! I just don‘t know how to… get her.“
„But… can‘t you see everything?“ Gangle asked hesitantly.
„Yeah,“ Zooble piped in. „Even if you can‘t just bring her here, you should be able to know where exactly she is. Maybe we can get her.“
Caine looked even more uncomfortable now, shoulders hunched up as he spoke. „No, I can‘t see her. Deleting the adventure also deleted my… eyes there.“ Caine snapped his fingers again, this time summoning a large, circular portal behind him, the edges of it distorting the space between the circus and the forest visible within it.
It was dark, much darker than Ragatha had remembered it being. Simply looking at it made her feel cold. Something was wrong with it, the very silence emerging from it seeming to creep into the circus tent, infecting it with its deafening lack of sound. They shouldn‘t be seeing it at all.
Apparently, the others had gained the same feeling as her from it, avoiding directly looking at the portal after taking it in.
After swallowing thickly, Ragatha managed to ask: „How is the forest still there if you deleted it?“ She didn‘t know how she was staying so calm. Part of her refused to register that Pomni was stuck there.
„I‘m not sure,“ Caine conceded, still looking like he would rather be anywhere else. „I have to assume a human still being there messed up the process. Some things are certainly not there anymore.“ Ragatha caught the trees they could see from the corners of their eyes twitch violently before disappearing for a few seconds. „And I doubt the rest will stay around much longer.“
„We have to get her!“ Ragatha was growing more anxious with every passing moment, fighting off the creeping images of Pomni being infected by the damaged place she was in.
„No!“ Caine shouted, making all of them flinch in surprise.
She couldn‘t believe what she had heard him say. „No?“ She said, voice low. Zooble blinked at her. „How dare you suggest we leave her there to abstract.“ Anger replaced her nerves, beginning to bubble up within her like hot oil, threatening to spill over and burn him if he said another wrong word.
„Do- don‘t get me wrong, I‘d love to get her back! I just don‘t want one of you to get stuck there with her!“ His voice was growing high pitched and frantic. „I don‘t know what that place could do to you right now!“
Ragatha glared at him. „I don‘t care. I‘m not losing another friend to your carelessness, Caine. I‘m going.“ She had been so glad to finally be able to call Pomni her friend. Even if part of her wanted to be greedy, wanted to hope for more. But Ragatha was not a lucky person, she had learned that by now. She could be ok with that. She would still treasure that which she could have.
„I‘ll go with you!“ Kinger said excitedly. She didn‘t think he knew what exactly they were talking about, and her heart broke a little for him.
„Kinger, I would… like for you to stay here.“ She went to him, giving him a tight hug that he easily reciprocated. „I don‘t want anything to happen to you too,“ she said quietly, but he heard her. Some part of him seemed to understand.
She turned around to the others, considering them all. She didn‘t want any of them to accompany her. „I will go alone.“ Ragatha wanted to pretend she was being selfless, but truthfully, she simply couldn‘t bear the idea of having to hold yet another funeral. If it was her who went and failed, at least she wouldn‘t have to suffer grief once more. She wouldn‘t have to suffer the guilt once more of knowing she failed them.
Zooble seemed to understand that she couldn‘t be argued with. „Alright, but there has to be some way we can help you from here.“ They looked to Caine. „Can you summon a rope? As long as you can possibly make it.“
The ringmaster didn‘t respond, merely snapping his fingers, at which a simple rope began to fall from above them, falling into a tall, perfectly coiled pile on the checkerboard floor.
Zooble grabbed one end of the rope and walked up to her, waiting to gauge her reaction. Ragatha stayed still, and they took that as a sign to continue, tying to rope around her waist. „If you lose your way, you can tug on the rope, and we will pull you back. If you take too long, we will do so anyways, and don‘t you dare untie it. I‘m not letting you go otherwise.“
Ragatha had always found Zooble difficult to read, but if she had learned one thing, it was that they were a well meaning person, that they were kind. Even if they weren‘t close, she could appreciate that it was enough for them to want her to be safe. She didn‘t like their last demand, but she yielded, understanding why they would make it. „Alright. But please, give me enough time. How about this, two tugs will mean pull me back, and one tug means I‘m ok.“
„I can work with that.“
She nodded at them, approaching the portal while trying her best to look as certain of her choice as she could. For Pomni.
The portal felt strange to her. Almost like jelly as she lifted her hand into it, watching the portal ripple around it like waves. She took a deep breath, bracing for the odd sensation and going through.
---
The forest floor was soft beneath Pomni‘s hands as she lazily drew circles in the dirt. She really was stuck here, wasn‘t she? It was such an… empty world compared to where Caine usually left them. She had found herself entertained enough when she was still enjoying her stroll through the woods, blissfully unaware of what was to come, but now, its apparently repetitive endlessness was freaking her out. More so, it left her seeing no point in continuing on. Everything looked identical.
What would she even do if she found a way back to the circus? The thought of the others hiding a sneer at seeing they hadn‘t gotten rid of her after all was nauseating, the thought that they would look at her like dirt that had clung to their shoes and had accidentally been brought home. She was becoming convinced that they had left her there on purpose, that she had been separated from the others on purpose, that they had only been waiting for an opportunity to make it look like an accident.
But that it would be Ragatha of all people? She must have read her wrong. But she would have thought that, even if she didn‘t like her after all, she would at least… tolerate her. A part of Pomni hoped she had been pressured into this, but her silly little dreams serving as band-aids to her pain were beginning to fail her. She had hoped to be able to call her a friend, at the very least.
Another quiver ran over the forest, shaking the ground and trees and forcing Pomni out of her lethargy. The shaking of the very ground she kneeled on left her teeth chattering. She lifted her hands to her head and held it, trying to stop the sensation of her brain being shaken about in her skull without avail.
A ripping sound came from the direction she was facing, one unlike anything she had known, forcing her to her feet as she stared at where she heard it, wide eyed while her pupils remained small and scribbled.
Darkness emerged from the distance, the tall pine trees being shoved to the sides from a central line being formed by it, jagged, approaching fast. The forest floor itself was being ripped apart, a black void waiting beneath it while some of the trees buckled under the force of the moving earth and fell into it with a slow finality, taking some of their brethren with them into their hopeless fate as they crashed into them.
The forest‘s hungry maw was opening ever closer, and finally, Pomni turned and ran.
This wasn‘t like that white void she had stumbled into on her first day, it wasn‘t like the bottom of the map she glitched into with Gummigoo. This left her feeling like the prey of something fuelled by nothing but the need to take and consume.
The ripping noise never grew less loud as she scrambled her way over fallen branches and around pitfalls, continuing to run despite her hammering heart falling to the bottom of her stomach when it looked as though the floor of the forest disappeared entirely before blinking back into life, but the ground had not given out beneath her.
A moment of clarity entered Pomni‘s brain, telling her to pivot to the left and go with the nature being pushed to the side instead of hoping to outrun the growing gap, which was surely impossible.
She made a sharp turn, watching as the canyon violently ripped apart the ground on which she had just been standing, and continuing on far into the distance.
Pomni‘s chest was heaving, aching as she pushed her back onto one of the trees in hopes of stabilizing herself in the face of the still shaking woods being pushed farther from the ever growing gap.
She was still here, she was still here, she would stay here. It wasn‘t up to them to decide her fate.
She whipped her head around, peeking past the tree. She thought- It couldn‘t be true. She thought she heard someone call her name.
„Pomni!“ It came more loudly now, the voice distinctly feminine. Was she hallucinating after all?
Barely, she could make out a shape in the distance, revealing itself to be ever more human the closer it made its way to her.
It was Ragatha.
Hope soared through her chest, soon replaced by doubt and confusion as she narrowed her eyes at it. It looked like Ragatha. But who was to say she wasn‘t currently abstracting, and her frenzied mind was supplying the vision to soothe her before her certain demise?
She must have spotted Pomni, as what might be Ragatha quickened her pace, face washing over with relief. But Pomni didn‘t trust it, hiding once more despite knowing it was a futile effort.
She listened carefully to the rustling of the leaves on the ground, crunching with every step taken, until her vision of Ragatha slowly made her way in front of Pomni. A look of recognition crossed her eye, relief replaced by sympathy.
„I‘m so sorry you had to deal with all of this, Pomni,“ she said, voice laden with sorrow and regret. She kept her distance, likely trying her best not to make Pomni feel caged in, but she could see how Ragatha was struggling to stay upright without something to lean against. „I promise we didn‘t forget about you. None of us meant to leave you here.“
Her vision was trying to comfort her. It was tempting to let her, but Pomni remained weary, as alluring as the words were to believe. But something about the shaking in Ragatha‘s words, how it seemed as though she was fighting to remain calm, left Pomni a little more doubtful that this was only a figment of her imagination. She blinked at Ragatha, struggling to find the right words.
She didn‘t expect her to say anything, showed no signs of impatience, and Pomni was grateful for it.
„Listen,“ she started carefully, and it threw Pomni off a little. It made her feel fragile. Then again, she shouldn‘t blame her. She probably was fragile at that moment. Besides, what point was there in worrying about Ragatha seeing her as fragile when she probably wasn‘t even real?
„Can you… take my hand? I can bring you back,“ Ragatha continued, holding out her hand.
Pomni was hesitant. This was it. Either taking her hand would work, in which case she must be real, or it wouldn‘t. And she could no longer pretend she wasn‘t alone.
Ragatha averted her gaze for a moment, eyeing their surroundings. „We should really go before this place falls apart completely.“
Shakily, Pomni extended her own hand, hearing her heart beating as she braced for it to grab nothing- only to feel her hand be taken gently yet firmly. She would recognise those soft hands anywhere. „Ragatha?“ She looked up at her, disbelieving.
She smiled at her. „It‘s me, darling.“
Pomni tried to blink the collecting moisture out of her eyes. She didn‘t forget her. She didn‘t mean to leave her. She came back for her. Pomni felt as though boulders had been lifted from her, letting out a wet chuckle before dashing forward to throw her arms around her. She wasn‘t usually one for hugs, but she was just so glad.
She could feel Ragatha stiffen for a moment, Pomni freezing herself until she felt Ragatha‘s hands find purchase on her back, rubbing it soothingly as she rested her own head on Pomni‘s after giving it a little kiss. She hadn‘t realized how long it had been since someone just… held her and cared for her.
Pomni could have sworn she felt herself begin to float from joy, clinging onto Ragatha as she allowed tears to leave a stain on her dress from finally being able to find an escape for the pressure that had been building within her.
She looked up at her when Ragatha lifted her head, surprised at how bright she looked. How bright everything was.
Pomni yelped, clinging onto her more closely. They were floating. The entire forest had disappeared, and with it the darkness, replaced by the blindingly bright void she had seen before. Crap. How were they supposed to find their way out now?!
It was only then that Pomni noticed the rope tied around Ragatha‘s waist, extending into the distance into what looked to be a portal, which they were somehow being pulled ever closer to.
Ragatha removed one of her hands from Pomni‘s back, lifting her face by her chin so she would look at her instead of the void. „We‘re almost back. Everyone will be so glad to have you back.“
„You think so?“ Pomni asked, voice shaky from how long she had not used it.
„I know so.“ For once, her tone promised that she believed what she was saying.
She wasn‘t used to seeing Ragatha so confident. Typically, she would be quick to backtrack on her words, ready to fawn for their approval. But something about actually, successfully helping her seemed to bring out a different side in Ragatha. She had been bold to go after her, and Pomni couldn‘t be more grateful.
„Thank you, Ragatha. For not giving up on me.“
„I would never dare to.“