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The thing is that Midora doesn't even like apples.
Oh, it's easy enough to get them — all she had to do was find an apple orchard and write some human into collecting them all for her in a nice big bucket — but she just doesn't get the appeal. The hype. Seriously, what's the point of it all? There's so much mess involved: the weird liquid that runs down her chin, the hard crunch-crunch-crunch that bears on her teeth, the skin doesn't even taste good…
Well, at least they get her in good favor with everyone else up here. She leaves the Shinigami king's waiting room with a much lighter bucket and a new notebook tucked under her elbow.
Mm. Well. Ryuk's not the only one who can drum up some entertainment.
-
The human (name: Shizuka Endo; total lifespan: 24 years, 2 months, 11 days) doesn't talk to her much. It — he? she? something else? do human pronouns even work the same way, Midora's never thought to check — mostly writes names and orders anime figurines and cries.
Urgh. It's a nice change from being up in the Shinigami realm, sure, but from Ryuk's stories she'd expected a little more… shock and awe. The most she's ever gotten out of Shizuka was a scream during her first entrance, but once Midora explained she wasn't here to put the kid down, Shizuka went right back to ignoring her and just writing, writing, writing.
Midora tries asking about the names; asking about how Shizuka plans to avoid the police (Ryuk had made it seem very difficult, but no one's knocking down their door yet, so her human must be doing something right); asking about the old hag who was Shizuka's first kill — that does get a reaction, finally: an anime figurine hurled at her and a fresh bout of silent crying.
"Uh," Midora says, blinking.
"Oh god, I'm sorry," Shizuka chokes, grabbing for a tissue. "Fuck. Did that hurt?"
"Nope." It'd passed right through her, actually, which Shizuka would have seen if not for having immediately doubled over with guilt. "That's the most interesting you've been in ages."
"I don't want to be interesting! I want—" Another pause for sad wet noises. "I wish I never got this stupid notebook."
"You can always give it back," Midora offers hopefully. This really hasn't been much entertainment; she could throw it somewhere else if the human would let her.
"No!" Shizuka scrabbles for the notebook with both hands. "I'm helping!"
"Helping?"
A long silence. Then, steadier: "Nobody should have to suffer like Gran did," Shizuka says, looking off into the middle distance all noble-like even with tears still glittering in brown eyes, and suddenly Midora does see what Ryuk meant. "Or Mom. S-She's happier. Now that she doesn't have to take care of Gran all the time. I can tell. She won't say she's happier but she is."
"Uh-huh," Midora says, doing her best to nod encouragingly. This is the most Shizuka has spoken in weeks. "Yeah."
Shizuka whips towards her suddenly. "You can tell too, right?"
"Wha?"
"That she's — doing better, I mean, she eats now. You know she eats now. You steal her apples."
"I didn't realize you noticed so much about me," Midora says, sort of touched.
Shizuka laughs humorlessly. "I thought you were gonna kill us all those first few weeks, so."
Awww. The human thinks she's competent! Motivated, even!
"Mom's doing better," Shizuka presses.
"Yeah," Midora lies. She doesn't pay enough attention to know. "Totally."
Shizuka's eyes narrow. "This isn't a ploy for more apples?"
"I don't really like them."
It occurs to Midora that this is the first time she's admitted this aloud.
"…Right, you don't take those anymore," Shizuka realizes, frowning. "What do snakes eat? Do you like eggs — Miia from Monster Musume likes eggs…"
"Who?"
"My wife," Shizuka says factually, plucking a figurine off one of the many shelves of them to show off to Midora.
"Your…?" Midora stares down at the plastic snake lady reclined in Shizuka's palms. Has human marriage changed so much since the last time she was down here?
"Agh, never mind." The figurine goes back on the shelf. "What do you like to eat?"
"…I don't know," Midora says.
"Right." For the first time Midora has ever seen, Shizuka smiles, wan. "Well. I can get you an egg."
-
Raw eggs suck for all the reasons apples do. Boiled eggs are a little nicer. They run through a gamut of human food before Shizuka hits on bananas.
"These are so much better," Midora enthuses. The softness! The sweetness! The consistency of flavor all the way through! Her poor teeth are practically weeping in joy. "Except the peel…"
"You don't eat the peel."
"Oh."
-
She almost wishes such a perfect food hadn't come to their attention so early, though, because her human goes right back to ignoring her after that.
-
Shizuka, Midora is starting to realize, needs problems to solve, and seems to think the notebook is the only way to solve the biggest one. It's weird watching some scrappy youngster write down more names in an hour than Midora's done in a century. Humans really do get addicted to the thing.
Well, if it's problems Shizuka wants…
Midora starts dropping banana peels on the floor when she's done with them. In a week she's already formed a small mountain. It stinks, the way all rotten fruit does.
No one comes to knock on the door. Shizuka doesn't seem to even notice.
-
"You're nothing but a murderer," says the television, and—
-
Boring, Midora thinks. So boring. What was the point? What was the point of any of it? All she's done is watch someone die, and not even in a way that gets any extra years onto her lifespan.
The mom is mouthing silent prayer at the urn placed in front of the butsudan when Midora finds her, apparently unaware her kid keeled over an hour ago. Midora holds up an apple she got from the kitchen cabinet and dangles it back and forth in front of her. She promptly passes out, god, boring, everyone here is so damn boring.
Midora phases back into Shizuka's bedroom. Shizuka's slumped over the desk; it looks like every other time she's watched her human sleep, except for the lack of name or lifespan or anything at all over the head resting on Shizuka's folded arms. Midora slips the notebook out of the kid's grasp and tucks it into the folds along her body; she does the same with the apple.
For a second, she considers taking the bananas with her.
Nah. Let them rot.