Work Text:
007n7 and c00lkidd arrive at playground
007n7: Okay, c00lkidd go play with your toys now
c00lkidd: *Excitingly plays by himself with drakobloxxer|🪣🥄|SADLY*
007n7: *Busy reading newspaper*
c00lkidd: I wish I had someone to play with 🙁
1x1x1x1 and 3 oi oisarrive at playground(???)
1x1x1x1: You guys () get only 2 hours to play. Hurry up while I go grab myself a beer
Oi oi #3⬅️(no. 3 if you haven't realized): *runs to playground happily while the other two are too busy getting half b*aten*
Oi oi #3: Wow I’m so happy to be here and make new friends (?)
*Oi oi #3 looks around very intently in B I G hopes to finding another person on the grounds*
Finally, Oi Oi #3 takes a gander at the sand pit and sees a fat drakobloxxer eating the sand. However, a “Cool Kid” sitting next to it minding it’s own business
Oi oi #3 : This might be my to make a new friend!
*Oi oi #3 walks very carefully over to the former sandpit to introduce itself (woke Oi ois) to c00lkidd*
c00lkidd : You know drakobloxxer.. Sometimes I feel like you’re my only friend… All the other kids make fun of me for being red like you
Oi oi #3 : H-hey there..! My name is Oi oi #3.. What’s your name?
c00lkidd: Oh! Hi.. uh..-
Oi oi #3: Oi oi #3
c00lkidd: Oi oi #3.. I’m the coolest kid here! Or.. c00lkidd. I’m okay with that too (I guess..)
Oi oi #3 : Is it okay if I play with you and your friend? I’m new here and I want to make friends myself!
*The two then sit in the big plastic bin and make sandcastles with the little sand that the bucket c00lkidd brought has*
Oi ois #1 and #2 finish getting berated by 1x1x1x1 and catch up with Oi oi #3
Oi oi #1: Oi oi #3! What are you doing?! 😡
Oi oi #1 and #2look equally as madat Oi oi #3
Oi oi #3: I’m making us a new friend :( (Not the btw)
Oi oi #1: Do you ever even listen to boss?! Look at him!! He’s RED❌❌
not GREEN⬅️✅
c00lkidd:
Oi oi #3: Ok…fine. I’ll go play with you guys again *is sad*
c00lkidd:
🪦(bum *ss drakobloxxer)
The Oi ois play with each other on the playground and ignore kiddc00l until 1x1x1x1 comes back
1x1x1x1: Oi ois, come grab your lunches now
Oi oi #1 and #2: Yes mama!! *Grabs lunches*
Oi oi #3: *Grabs lunch and sneaks away to C00lkidd*
Oi oi #3: C00lkidd! I’m so sorry about them. I still want to be your friend. Here, we can share my lunch
C00lkidd: Really?! You are the nicest friend ever!!1!!1
*The two enjoy a very delicious meal of a singularbeer and some together like no tomorrow.*
1x1x1x1: *Suspiciously eyes Oi oi #3 hanging out with C00lkidd*
(End of Act 1)
(Act 1.5)
007n7: Wow, who knew Elliot would make that much bank. I thought his business flopped 5 years ago when C00lkidd threw subspace tripmines into the building
1x1x1x1: *Angrily walks over to 007n7* Hey, get out of that seat. Your fat has sat here long enough with your.. Papers..
007n7: I’m sorry, what did you just say?
1x1x1x1: Oh gosh, you’re also deaf. Even worse
007n7: Do you got a problem sir? I don’t mean to come off as rude if there is
1x1x1x1: I think your presence here is already enough. Get up and out of the way before I make you. Geez.
007n7: Okay, Ma’am, if you maybe had asked nicer I could’ve gotten up and moved to somewhere else but because you’re now making a deal out of it, I don't think you deserve that kind of respect.
1x1x1x1: I don’t know what you’re thinking but this is certainly not a way to speak to someone who’s higher than you in every way possible. You’re merely a 3 dimensional being, what could you ever do?
007n7: *007n7 gets up but not to lend the seat* Okay, Sir, I may be “3 dimensional” even though I see no problem with that, I think you need to leave. I’m not one to say but you’ve got to be the most edgiest freak I’ve ever seen
1x1x1x1: Okay, now what the did you just say. Come closer so I can hear you
*It did not take long for 007n7 to jump 1x1x1x1 with his totally cool cloning powers and stuff even if it wasn’t a match to 1x1x1x1’s powers*
(End of Act 1.5)
(Start of Act 2)
C00lkidd and Oi oi #3 are lowk chilling in the pit. They soon hear shouting
1x1x1x1: KIDS!!!! We are going home NOW!!!
Oi oi #3: What?? But our two hours aren’t up yet…⬅️(Oi oi #3 currently trust)
*The two look up near the shouting as 007n7 and 1x1x1x1 are currently standing 🧍🧍their ground, facing eachother*
C00lkidd: DAD!!
C00lkidd watches as 007n7 fights 1x1x1x1(he’s not winning). 1x1x1x1 kicks him to the ground
1x1x1x1: Oi oi #3, hurry it up and get away from that freak. We’re leaving.
007n7:
Oi oi #3 and C00lkidd both scramble from the pit to their respective mamas; one out of fear, one in concern
C00lkidd: Dad! Are you okay!? You’re bleeding!!
007n7: I’ll *cough* always be okay.. Just use the coolguiand get out of here..
C00lkidd: No! That mean scary thing hurt you! I can’t let that thing go free!
1x1x1x1: What the hell is wrong with both you and your kid
C00lkidd: Shut your mouth you slimy !!!
007n7:(Language)
C00lkidd: (Sorry)
1x1x1x1: Okay my Oi oisgo distract before I turn all 3 of you into my gateway to killing this burger freak
Oi oi #1 and #2 : Yes sir !!
*However, Oi oi #3 cannot bring itself to do it. As they stare at their newly founded friend in fear.*
*The two first Oi ois lunge at the two of them with speed. No remorse to it*
007n7: Koolaidd!! Run!!
*C00lkiddthinks with the limited time he has left before deciding to get his own to fight*
Oi oi #3: C00lkidd!! I’m sorry!
*C00lkidd’s eyes light up like something in him awakens*
In the heat of the moment, the two stand there whilst the others fight it out to their demise.
007n7 on the floor trying his best to offer his own support with all of his strength
C00lkidd and Oi oi #3 lock eyes knowing that only one of them can live before the inevitable.
Oi oi #3: Just kill me c00lkidd.. It’ll be the only way or else you and your father will get **fed!
C00lkidd starts tearing up himself knowing the turn of the game will most definitely have to be his doing.
It didn’t take long for c00lkidd to dash forward and injure the 3 leaving Oi oi #3 to lay on the floor with their last bit of hope
Oi oi #3: *Oi oi #3 starts to slightly tear up* If we could be friends for longer.. I would’ve enjoyed that..
C00lkidd hugs Oi oi #3in it’s last moments whilst the other Oi ois turn into dust and perish because they’re lwky like, really weak now and uh yeah lmao, and Oi oi #3 has plot armour so it dies last.
007n7 gets up and whilst 1x1x1x1 is distracted takes his to finally bring 1x1x1x1 down off of his feet.
Chicken Shedletsky Forsaken suddenly appears in the background
Chicken Shedletsky Forsaken: So, the moral of the story? Don’t discriminate against red people or you’ll get your ass beaten. And, if you do defend red people, you’ll end up like Oi oi #3 (dead).
(This truly was our forsaken)