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If Seungmin admitted the truth, he’d never been much of a reader. He wouldn’t have imagined, not in a million years, that he’d end up joining a book club the moment he got into university. He didn’t want to sign up for any extracurriculars at all. He guessed volleyball was his absolute limit. After all, it was good for his health and meant he didn’t have to pay for a gym membership.
That being said, Seungmin had been stubbornly ignoring the so-called ‘club fair’ scheduled for the third day of their classes, especially since attendance wasn’t mandatory. There was, however, one problem – a small one, always buzzing, and severely afflicted with ADHD. Jiseok, his best friend, clearly intended to go and naturally planned to drag Seungmin along with him. That left Seungmin with no other option but to awkwardly shuffle his feet while the elbow of his purple track jacket was being tugged forward.
“Dude, I need to do my homework,” he complained half-heartedly, still following Jiseok down the stairs without much resistance.
“Don’t play the nerd card, Oh Seungmin,” Jiseok snorted. “I’ve known you since nappies. You’re not fooling me.”
“Alright, alright, alright.”
At last, the two of them burst through the wide doors into the second-floor lobby. For the past two days, only students had occupied the place, lazily chewing on snacks while waiting for class. Now, though, four neat rows of tables stood there, all covered with identical blue tablecloths that shimmered in the daylight spilling in through the windows, looking like velvet or corduroy. Each one displayed something special that reflected the nature of its club – handmade decorations here, full-fledged paintings there, a globe somewhere else, and so on and so forth – and behind the tabletops, people were energetically calling out, trying to recruit new members to their teams.
Jiseok’s eyes probably ran wild the moment he scanned the room, and Seungmin was already bracing himself for the idea that they wouldn’t leave until well after dark, only after visiting every single table and, of course, asking a million questions, both stupid and not so stupid. His friend switched hobbies at a terrifying speed. Everything fascinated him, and everything bored him within a week or two. Seungmin, on the other hand, barely did anything besides school, part-time jobs, and regular workouts at the gym, and he’d remained more or less faithful to drawing. Now it’d even become part of his academic curriculum.
Seungmin trailed behind Jiseok like a lost puppy while Jiseok soaked up the sheer variety on display, charging himself to the limit and practically bouncing, not just from table to table, but even while standing in front of club representatives and chatting them up. It seemed like you could find companions here for even the most absurdly niche and pointless activities, like carving eggshells or ironing clothes under extreme conditions. Seungmin allowed himself a brief moment of interest in the sports tourism club but quickly realised that his wallet would never survive frequent trips, and prolonged absences from classes would probably wreck his grades. In short, he had to deny himself the pleasure of filling out the application.
After maybe half an hour, Seungmin’s gaze landed on a stack of books arranged neatly on the next table they were going to check. Then his eyes lifted and froze on the most beautiful face he’d ever seen in his life. Small, cat-like eyes looked back at him, slightly squinted because of the smile playing on plump lips, and Seungmin immediately felt the urge to kiss them. The guy standing in front of him, with round cheeks and a faintly curled black mullet, looked so stunning, so adorable, that Seungmin forgot how to breathe for several long seconds.
“Hello. Are you interested in books?” the boy asked in the gentlest voice, pouring into Seungmin’s ears like sickeningly sweet honey.
“Yes,” Seungmin replied quickly. “I am.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jiseok turn his head and stare at him with his huge eyes practically bulging out of their sockets. Honestly, the surprise made sense: it wasn’t that Seungmin merely disliked reading; he hated it. He’d never read a single school-required book. At least, not all the way through. He preferred movie adaptations or short summaries because either way, the teacher dictated the opinions they had to form about any given book and reproduce in essays. They despised any independent thought and cut it off at the root.
“Great!” The charming smile widened. “My name is Kim Jungsu. I’m the president of the book club.”
“Cool. Can I sign up?”
Jungsu’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ at such bluntness, and Jiseok, meanwhile, had drilled a decent-sized hole into Seungmin’s temple with his stare. Surprisingly, he stayed obediently silent, though something suggested that in a situation like this, he should’ve grabbed Seungmin by the shoulders, shaken him at the speed of a hadron collider, and kept yelling, ‘Who the hell are you, and what did you do to my best friend?!’
“Sure,” Jungsu finally said, putting the smile back on his face. “The club’s organisational meeting will be on March fifth, at six p.m., in room one-fifty-nine.”
He fished out a pristine white sheet of paper from behind the stack of books and handed it to Seungmin, who immediately started filling out the small form with enthusiasm. Thankfully, he didn’t have to blatantly lie about anything related to reading – there were simply no such questions. After all, Seungmin didn’t particularly enjoy being a liar.
“Would you like to sign up as well?” Jungsu asked, turning his gaze toward Jiseok.
“Me?” Jiseok pointed at his own chest. “Well, sure. Might as well give it a shot.”
Smiling, Jungsu handed Jiseok an identical sheet, and by that time, Seungmin had already finished his. He passed it back to Jungsu with great care, as if it were sacred scripture rather than something that, he suspected, would soon end up in the recycling bin. Then he locked his gaze onto the face across from him and didn’t look away. Faced with such invasive attention, Jungsu naturally grew flustered and dropped his eyes, but Seungmin had no intention of backing off, continuing to drive the poor guy deeper and deeper into a blush.
“Um…” Jungsu started, then immediately faltered, apparently because Seungmin was still staring at him like he was either about to confess his love or scoop Jungsu up and carry him home. “If, uh… if you’re not sure whether it’s for you or not, you can just come by and take a look. We won’t force you to stay. I promise.”
“Good to know,” Jiseok muttered as he finally shoved his filled-out form into Jungsu’s hands. “Thanks. Have a nice evening.”
“You too!”
Jiseok had to grab Seungmin around the waist and practically peel him off the tiled floor, where his life-beaten Converse sneakers glued him fast. Even when the two of them were already heading far away from the book club table, Seungmin still twisted around just to steal a few more looks at Jungsu, and only then straightened his neck.
“What the helly was that?” Jiseok asked as soon as Seungmin’s ass slammed into the wall. “A book club? Are you serious?”
“Yeah, why not?” Seungmin shrugged. “Isn’t it a perfect chance to finally be heard?”
“You’re fucking with me.” Jiseok squinted at him. “He bewitched you. That guy is a freaking siren, isn’t he?”
Seungmin dragged himself to room one-fifty-nine the moment his last class ended on Thursday. Jiseok had bolted home at one in the afternoon, so even if he was still planning to show up to the book club meeting, he definitely wasn’t hiding out in some neighbouring room. With that in mind, Seungmin didn’t bother looking for him. Grabbing something to eat was unlikely, too. There were only fifteen minutes left before the start, and Seungmin really didn’t want to be late and look rude in front of Jungsu.
The door to the right classroom was wide open, exposing its insides. From the hallway, Seungmin could see white walls with a warm undertone, a table (or rather several tables shoved together) in the middle of the room crowded with mugs and a large teapot, plus two saucers filled with assorted cookies. Right by the entrance, to the left, stood a metal stepladder, and when Seungmin poked his head inside, he found the club president himself occupying it. With his lips puffed out, Jungsu was intently fastening some kind of decoration to the doorframe.
“Need a hand?” Seungmin asked, looking up at him.
The suddenness of his voice, tearing through the near-funereal silence, made Jungsu yelp in surprise and jerk. The ladder wobbled under him, and Seungmin’s hands shot out instantly, gripping it tight and pinning it to the floor, not letting Jungsu crash straight down.
“Sorry,” Seungmin said.
“It’s okay,” Jungsu exhaled with visible relief as he pushed a thumbtack into the wall.
Now it was easy to see what he’d been so absorbed in; it was a cute garland with small triangular flags stretching from the far end of the doorframe and ending neatly right under his fingers. Still, Seungmin couldn’t spare the decoration the attention it deserved. He stayed focused on Jungsu instead, helping him climb down safely. Taking Jungsu’s hand in his own, he sank into the softness of his skin and found himself vividly imagining leaning in to press a kiss to that neat palm.
“Oh Seungmin-ssi, right? Am I remembering correctly?” Jungsu smiled, slowly freeing himself from the grip.
“Yes,” Seungmin answered. “Kim Jungsu-ssi.”
“You’re early,” Jungsu noted, then picked up the stepladder and carried it into the corner of the room. “I haven’t even finished setting everything up yet.”
“Well, that’s why I’m offering to help.”
“Could you go fill the kettle, then?”
“Sure.”
Seungmin took on the task with a level of responsibility that not even his schoolteachers had probably ever managed to squeeze out of him. He carefully wrapped his palms around the black teapot resting in the middle of the makeshift tabletop and lifted it off the electric base, then headed to the nearest bathroom and filled it to the maximum mark. He came back, put the kettle in place, and once again fixed his gaze on Jungsu’s profile as he was hanging up yet another paper garland. Jungsu was far too beautiful for Seungmin to aim his eyes at the window or pull out his phone. He simply couldn’t get enough of him.
“Anything else?” Seungmin asked, awkwardly dropping his backpack onto one of the chairs arranged around the table. “Do you always handle all this stuff on your own?”
“No, not at all,” Jungsu said, climbing down the stepladder only to shift it half a metre and scramble back up. “This is actually my first time organising a meeting. Last year, the most I did was bring cookies.”
“But you’re the president, right?”
“Well, yeah!” He let out an embarrassed laugh. “For five days now. Our previous president graduated in February.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Disappointed?”
“Not at all.” Seungmin shook his head. “If you were chosen as their successor, that means you deserved it and probably underestimate yourself. Or, well, there was simply no one else to pick. There was, right?”
“There was, there was, don’t worry,” Jungsu smirked. “We might not be the biggest club, but it’s really cosy here.”
“Well, tea and cookies are already a solid bribe.”
“And we have them at every meeting,” Jungsu tossed back and finally finished fussing with the decorations. He hopped off the stepladder, surveyed the result with his hands on his hips, nodded in satisfaction, and shoved the silvery eyesore under the teacher’s desk, standing alone in the corner. “Though I’m thinking of doing a themed evening for Halloween and switching up the usual menu a bit. But that’s a long way off, of course.”
“I hope that means there’ll be Bloody Marys.”
“Bingo!”
Jungsu broke into a grin, and Seungmin could only stare, devouring every single detail. He couldn’t make his own mouth curve into a nice answering smile and probably didn’t look impressed at all, but inside everything was pounding and ringing. His heart thudded in his ears, and he wanted so, so badly to just step closer, cup those round cheeks in his palms, and press his lips to Jungsu’s. Besides, they were alone…
“Heyo!”
Seungmin closed his eyes and let out a slow breath.
He’d missed his chance, and the room was steadily filling with people now. It wasn’t like he’d actually been about to kiss Jungsu, especially without asking, but a very real sting of annoyance settled in his chest all the same, because their quiet little idyll had been shattered. Being alone with Jungsu had felt really, really good – Seungmin would’ve said it was good to the point of trembling, except he wasn’t trembling.
By six in the evening, about fifteen people had gathered around the table, most of them girls. He didn’t mind their company (after all, as a graphic design major, he’d already made peace with being the only guy in the group). Still, he found himself wondering whether it was true that women read more in modern society. Did that mean they would meet like this and discuss romance novels? Seungmin wouldn’t have minded knowing what Jungsu thought about that.
Either way, Jiseok truly hadn’t ditched him. He showed up and settled right at Seungmin’s side. They sat across from Jungsu because sitting next to him meant Seungmin couldn’t stare at him, and staring at Jungsu had now become something like a basic bodily need. They slurped their tea and listened. Mostly it was Jungsu who talked – about the fees, the schedule, the meeting format, and the digital library. With all due respect, Seungmin didn’t find any of it particularly interesting. Like someone hypnotised, he watched the plush lips move, watched them touch the rim of the cup as Jungsu took a sip of tea, watched them close around a cookie, but not a single word Jungsu said actually stuck in his head. He would ask Jiseok later if he needed to. That was what best friends were for, right? Covering your ass when you were hopelessly in love.
Goodness, he was so fucking hopelessly in love, and he’d only seen Jungsu for the second time in his life.
What a silly boy he was.
Seungmin only started to worry when Jungsu gave everyone in their small circle a chance to introduce themselves briefly. The girls chirped sincerely about how much they loved reading and diving into fictional worlds, while Seungmin’s gaze darted nervously between their opening mouths. He repeated their phrases to himself and tried to rehearse his own little speech, hoping to sound just as convincing and not embarrass himself. Even if he couldn’t stand large clusters of letters on white pages, he couldn’t say that out loud, couldn’t let Jungsu see that side of him. To him, Seungmin had to remain, if not perfect, then at least somewhat educated and sharing his interests, right?
“I, um…” Seungmin let out when it was his turn, then panicked as he realised he remembered absolutely nothing of what he’d so carefully composed in his head. “My name is Oh Seungmin. I’m majoring in graphic design. First year. And, well, I… really love reading!” he said, smiling and nodding for emphasis. “I’ll be happy to hang out with you guys here.”
“What’s your favourite book, Seungmin-ssi?” Jungsu gently prompted him. His intention seemed kind, judging by the expression on his face, but all it did was shove Seungmin deeper into frustration, making him stammer and hum under his breath.
“Well… I can’t pick just one,” Seungmin finally replied, clearly seeing out of the corner of his eye how Jiseok smothered a laugh in the edge of his palm. “I like a lot of different books, and I think each one is special in its own way. So… yeah. That’s why I always get lost when people ask me that…”
“I get it.” Jungsu shot him another sweet smile, and Seungmin couldn’t tell whether he should finally breathe out in relief or hold his breath. For a few seconds, he nearly turned into a fish thrown up on shore. “Alright, thank you. As for me, we’ve all crossed paths one way or another already, right? Still, just in case, I’ll remind you. My name is Kim Jungsu. I’m a second-year journalism student, and this club is my safe haven. I became the president this year, but honestly, that doesn’t really change much. I’m still just a guy who loves books and will be happy to talk about them with you…”
For the first real meeting, not the organisational one, they voted to read ‘The Vegetarian’ by Han Kang. Even clueless Seungmin knew it was gaining traction lately and had apparently won some kind of award or whatever. He genuinely meant to read it, at least well enough to string two words together later, and ideally to show off in front of Jungsu, who confidently claimed the novel could be finished in a single evening. That sounded highly questionable. Still, Seungmin had tracked down a printed copy after combing through the library and now carried it everywhere with him. Mostly, he just stared at the cover, wondering what the hell the point was of putting two trees on it.
Right now, the book was pulling at his gaze again as it lay to the left of a tray with an empty plate. The break wouldn’t end for another half hour, but Seungmin had already demolished his lunch (thanks to being let out of class early), and Jiseok had classes in a different building today. Also, Seungmin wasn’t close enough with the girls from his study group yet to bother them during downtime, so maybe it was finally the right moment to read. Over the course of the day – on the morning underground ride and during the break between second and third periods – he’d clawed his way through ten pages. It might not have sounded impressive, but by his standards, it was already a win.
Before grabbing the spine of the book, Seungmin scanned the cafeteria. He didn’t really know why he was doing it. Maybe to make sure no one was staring at such a bizarre exhibit as ‘Oh Seungmin Reading,’ or maybe to gauge how many people would take him for an intellectual. And there were plenty of people around; all the warriors who had bravely survived the line for their bowl of rice were now occupying tables and yapping nonstop.
Amid that flood of unfamiliar faces, his gaze snagged on one that was very familiar, albeit lightly disguised by round glasses that Jungsu had never worn around him before. He was holding a tray and looking around with quiet despair, clearly seeing not a single free table. At last, his eyes landed straight on Seungmin, and he seemed to recognise him instantly, brightening as he headed over. Seungmin, meanwhile, panicked, yanked the book up into the air, opened it blindly, and buried his face in a completely random spread.
“Hi, Seungmin-ssi,” came the sweet voice along with the soft clatter of a tray hitting the table. “Hope you don’t mind if I eat here?”
“No, I don’t mind,” Seungmin replied, lowering the book just enough for Jungsu to see only his eyes. “Enjoy your meal.”
“Thanks!” Jungsu smiled, freeing his chopsticks from their paper sleeve. “And you, um… reading?”
“Yes,” Seungmin said confidently. “For our club.”
“The book’s upside down.”
“What?” He gawked and slid ‘The Vegetarian’ farther away, finally actually looking at the letters scattered across the pages. “Shit… Well, in that case, I guess no, I’m not reading. Sorry.”
“No worries,” Jungsu chuckled. “It’s cute.”
Seungmin should’ve blushed at least a little and let his cheeks flare bright enough to signal to Jungsu that he liked that, that Jungsu should use words like ‘cute’ on him more often. Instead, his face stayed astonishingly cool. Blushing was not Oh Seungmin’s thing. Even if his heart was threatening to leap straight out of his throat and land in Jungsu’s lunch, still, he only calmly closed the book and set it on the table, tapping neat fingernails against the cover.
He shamelessly stared at Jungsu, resting his cheek on his fist. He didn’t usually make a habit of watching people eat. More often than not, it wasn’t exactly a pleasant sight. Though Jungsu… Jungsu looked adorable, scooping up bibimbap in small little clumps and stubbornly keeping his eyes glued to his bowl. Seungmin’s attention seemed to fluster him again. Was that a bad thing or a good one? Seungmin really wanted to know.
Shit, all Seungmin could do was stare, and he was certain there were no cartoon hearts blazing in his eyes to give away even a hint of what he wanted. He needed to act. For example, ask Jungsu out on a date. Damn, no. He couldn’t call it a date. What if Jungsu freaked out? Then what? And where would they even go? The library? They wouldn’t be able to talk properly there. Books needed to be completely removed from this equation.
“Listen, Seungmin-ssi,” Jungsu suddenly said, snapping him out of his thoughts. Seungmin blinked in surprise and lifted his gaze, realising it had been fixed on Jungsu’s soft lips. “I know it might still be a bit early to ask something like this, but I’d like you to at least think about it, okay?”
Oh god.
Was he about to ask him out himself?!
Seungmin nodded and bit his lip, not letting the corners of his mouth spread into a wide grin from the anticipation that was punching the air out of his lungs.
“I talked to the student office, and they allowed us to put up posters on the boards on the first and second floors,” Jungsu went on. “We do have an old template, of course, but it feels a little… bland? And since you’re studying design, I thought maybe you could take a look and make something of your own. I’m sure you’d come up with something pretty and eye-catching.”
“You… want me to draw a poster for you?”
“Not for me, for the club,” Jungsu corrected shyly. “And obviously, any work should be paid. I won’t make you do it for free. We can agree on a price?”
“No,” Seungmin cut in, and when Jungsu visibly deflated, he hurried to add, “I mean, I don’t need money, especially if you’re planning to pay out of your own pocket. But there is one favour you could do for me in return.”
“What kind of favour?”
“Go somewhere with me.”
“Huh?”
Jungsu even tilted his head slightly to the side. His face showed pure confusion, his eyes rounding a bit, his mouth falling open stupidly, and his thick brows drifting up under his fringe.
“Well, you know,” Seungmin drawled. “I’m a freshman. I don’t really know anyone yet. I’m lonely. I wanna make friends here.”
“Oh!” Jungsu nodded slowly. “Yeah, I get that. Do you want me to introduce you to others, too?”
“One person at a time, I’m begging you.”
“Alright,” Jungsu smiled. “Then I’ll pay for the food or the tickets, and we’ll call it even. Can you save my Kakao?”
Seungmin waited obediently on the front steps, waving off clingy coils of cigarette smoke and watching the sun lick the roof of the building across the street. He’d been an impatient kid, so he’d talked Jungsu into not dragging things out and meeting today, right after classes. Besides, they finished at the same time, but the professor apparently coddled Seungmin’s group again and let them out a bit early. Jungsu, on the other hand, was running late.
Seungmin had already started thinking that Jungsu had simply forgotten everything and bolted home. He was about to send a couple of crying dog stickers to his KakaoTalk, but didn’t get the chance as someone gently tapped his shoulder, and when he turned around, there was Jungsu. Half his face was wrapped in a blue knitted scarf, and a warm, half-transparent layer of breath had already fogged up his glasses.
It actually took a titanic effort to just shake his hand instead of pouncing on him with suffocating hugs and squeezing him until he begged for mercy. Cuteness aggression was off the charts, clenching Seungmin’s jaw until his teeth ached. Oh, please, just let him not look genuinely feral, for God’s sake. Seungmin had never been good at showing what he felt on his face, and for most of his life, he’d felt like a goddamn stone…
“Sorry, the prof kept us,” Jungsu muttered guiltily. “Have you decided where we’re going?”
“Well, kinda…” Seungmin shrugged. “There’s a movie theatre nearby. You down to watch something and then grab food together?”
“Yeah, sounds great,” Jungsu nodded confidently, and the two of them headed bravely toward the university gates.
They walked in gloomy silence for a couple of minutes, and Seungmin couldn’t figure out what he should say. He’d heard plenty about how Jungsu loved books and how much the club meant to him, had even memorised a couple of his favourite authors… but who was he outside room one-fifty-nine? Did he have any other hobbies? Did he only like girls, or did Seungmin have a chance to lodge himself as a thin splinter in his heart…?
“Are you from here, or did you move?” Jungsu suddenly asked when they stopped at a red light, and Seungmin silently thanked the heavens for making him speak first and at the same time prayed the conversation wouldn’t die in five seconds.
“Moved,” he answered. “From Suwon.”
“Oh, nice,” Jungsu chirped, probably wearing the cutest smile. Seungmin really wanted to turn his head and look, but didn’t dare. Instead, he stared straight ahead and stepped onto the crosswalk. “I was there in February.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, they organised a small practice trip to a football match,” Jungsu explained a bit awkwardly. “It was fun. Do you think we might’ve crossed paths without even knowing it?”
“Unlikely.” Seungmin shook his head. “I’d definitely remember if I’d seen you. Even just in passing.”
“Oh, is that so?”
“Yeah. You…” Seungmin chewed lightly on his lower lip, considering whether he should finish the sentence. After a couple of seconds, he decided to go for it. “You’re beautiful. Really. You’ve got a memorable face.”
“Mmm…” Jungsu managed. “Thanks.”
Seungmin could’ve sworn Jungsu’s cheeks flared up with a bright blush, but he couldn’t prove it. The air charged with Jungsu’s embarrassment, and honestly, that was probably for the best. That was a good reaction, right? If he let a boy shower him with compliments, that meant there was something to work with.
“We’re here!” Jungsu exclaimed cheerfully, suddenly rushing toward the glass doors of the mall and pulling one open. He held it wide, bowing his head slightly and gesturing inside with his free hand. Put on a whole gentlemanly show over nothing, even though a perfectly functional revolving door was literally ten centimetres away, with a mum and her kid walking through it. The little girl stared at Jungsu and Seungmin as if she’d just seen live dinosaurs. Oh, yeah, there was definitely something to work with.
Seungmin smiled to himself and slipped inside. He unzipped his jacket and padded toward the escalator. Hopping onto a step, he turned back and locked his gaze on Jungsu, who was unwinding his scarf. His face really did have a faint rosy tint – maybe from the cold outside, or maybe because of Seungmin. The second option was, of course, preferable.
Jungsu looked back at him, and they stared at each other without breaking eye contact for a good five seconds. Tension kept lashing across Seungmin’s spine, sharper with every millimetre that the corners of Jungsu’s eyes lifted in a smile.
God, they should’ve just kissed.
Seungmin swallowed audibly and turned away as he stepped off the escalator. For the first time, he felt something that made him act like he was embarrassed, like he couldn’t lift his eyes to Jungsu anymore. Though it wasn’t embarrassment at all. He was scared he would lose control and actually go in for a kiss. It wasn’t time for that yet. He couldn’t kiss a guy he liked whenever he felt like it. Especially in public. Even if Jungsu’s lips were tempting him with their lushness.
In the end, they bought tickets for the nearest showing, and Seungmin didn’t bother remembering the movie title. It wasn’t that important. What mattered was that Jungsu would be right next to him.
They got a cup of cola each, discovering that neither of them cared much for popcorn. Didn’t wait long outside, either, and were let in almost immediately. The ads ran for maybe fifteen minutes, but by the time the movie started, there were no more people coming in. It was just the two of them and some random guy sitting a couple of rows closer to the screen. Well, pure romance, isn’t it?
For the entire hour and a half while bright scenes kept flashing by, Seungmin thought about how close Jungsu was sitting. At one point, he glanced at the armrest where Jungsu’s hand lay and reached out, hovering hesitantly above it. He wanted to just let his hand drop, touch Jungsu’s soft skin again, but chickened out at the very last moment. Decided it was still too early. Seduction was a long game, especially with someone who loved three-hundred-page romance novels.
Seungmin walked out of the theatre, remembering absolutely nothing about the movie, and ten minutes later, he was already sitting with Jungsu at a food court table, breathing in the smell of hot pizza. They’d ordered a small one for perfectly rational reasons, but the moment Seungmin sank his teeth into the tip of a triangular slice, he thought he could eat until he fucking died. Yes, it was that good. As the cheese melted over his tongue, mixing with the mild heat of the pepperoni, goosebumps ran down his lower back, and he closed his eyes and let out a satisfied moan.
“Damn, moving to Seoul was one hundred percent worth it just for this,” he said with his mouth full. Sauce had gathered at the corner of his lips, and a thin strand of cheese hung down toward his chin. He must’ve looked absolutely awful. For a split second, he even felt ashamed, but then he looked at Jungsu, who was watching him with nothing but a fond, amused smile, and the feeling eased instantly.
Huh, so he liked watching Seungmin eat like a bear? Jiseok would’ve already smacked him for bad manners, even though in their duo, Seungmin had always been considered the more cultured one. And Jungsu now looked like he was one step away from pulling his phone out of his pocket to snap a picture and later show it to their kids, chirping, ‘And this is how I met your dad.’
Well… in South Korea, that could only mean one thing.
Jungsu found him attractive and charming, and Seungmin didn’t doubt it for a second anymore. So on the way back to the dorms (yes, apparently they lived in the same building), he leaned his cheek against Jungsu’s shoulder. He settled into the soft wool of his coat and pretended to doze off, and Jungsu didn’t object at all. He only squeezed Seungmin’s hand gently and gave it a light shake when it was time to get off.
That small victory kept Seungmin glued to his laptop screen until nearly morning. He started working on the poster the moment he got back to his room, because Jungsu had said something along the lines of ‘the sooner you finish, the better.’
The ‘template’ Jungsu had mentioned earlier turned out to be nothing more than a basic Word document, so beating expectations was almost laughably easy. Still, Seungmin pushed himself, going all in with Illustrator, cranking out version after version until, finally, he felt satisfied.
By around nine in the morning, he was standing in front of Jungsu’s door with a MacBook tucked under his arm. He knocked and waited, listening to the rustling and muffled panting on the other side. A moment later, Jungsu opened and stared at him in pure disbelief. A pinkish pillow mark bloomed on his cheekbone, his dark hair stuck out in every direction, and a hastily thrown-on T-shirt slipped halfway off one shoulder. His glasses were crooked too, tilted toward the left, and Seungmin once again felt the overwhelming urge to grab him and squeeze those round cheeks. It took everything he had not to.
“Um, good morning?” Jungsu asked, tilting his head slightly. He looked like he genuinely couldn’t tell whether this was a dream or reality.
“Morning,” Seungmin said. “I’ve got amazing news. I made the poster you asked for. Brought it for you to check.”
“That fast?”
Seungmin just nodded in response, and Jungsu hesitated for a second longer, then opened the door wider and let him in. The slippers politely stayed by the entrance, and even before Jungsu flopped back onto his bed, Seungmin knew exactly which half of the room was his. It was definitely the one where the shelf was practically collapsing under the weight of all those books. Oh, this was serious.
Luckily, Jungsu’s roommate wasn’t there, and Seungmin shamelessly slid in close beside him. The second the laptop lid opened, Jungsu rested his chin on Seungmin’s shoulder, and Seungmin leaned in as well, tilting his head and brushing his cheek against Jungsu’s hair.
“Oh, this is just incredible,” Jungsu whispered as he examined the results of Seungmin’s meticulous work, and the very next second, he wrapped Seungmin’s slim waist in a tight embrace, forcing a broken breath out of him. “I need to take you out once again. This clearly deserves more than just a movie and pizza!”
“Well, if you insist…”
Seungmin smiled, a little dazed, and let Jungsu fully vent his joy on him. He squeezed him harder, rocked him from side to side, and rubbed his cheek against the sensitive patch of skin on Seungmin’s neck, making the short hairs at the nape stand on end. With every passing second, it became more and more obvious that the way to his heart ran straight through the book club.
“And that’s it?”
Jiseok nodded with confidence and leaned back against the wall. He’d just finished retelling Seungmin the entire plot of ‘The Vegetarian,’ because of course, Seungmin had failed to get through it to the end. At some point that week, life had gotten way too busy all at once: doing homework, scrubbing the dorm room, going out with Jungsu…
Either way, Seungmin had expected it to take Jiseok much longer, but Mister Genius had wrapped it up while they were hobbling from the university lobby to room one-fifty-nine. Now they still had a good ten minutes to kill before the club meeting started, and Seungmin could already predict what an excess of free time in a half-dark hall would lead to.
“It’s a short book; you could’ve just read it,” Jiseok scolded him, letting a grin slip into his voice. “Why the hell do you even need this club if you don’t read, huh?”
“I wanna start,” Seungmin shrugged.
“Well, so far you’re doing a spectacularly shitty job.”
“I know.”
Jiseok hummed thoughtfully, puffing out his cheeks and tilting his head.
“So you like him?” he asked. “That guy? Jungsu?”
“No.”
“You’re lying.”
“Yeah.” Seungmin smirked when his friend only snorted in response. “I think he likes me, too. Just not as much as books. That’s why I’m here, trying to make an impression.”
“Brilliant plan, bro,” Jiseok tossed out, rolling his eyes. “He’s not an idiot. He’ll figure out you don’t read. If he doesn’t kick you out, he still won’t be impressed that you’re hovering around and lying like a middle schooler.”
“What if I get into it and turn into a pretty little bookworm?”
“I don’t buy it.”
“You should.”
Jiseok snorted again, and then the sound of approaching footsteps echoed down the hall. A moment later, Jungsu appeared, a keyring in one hand and a bag in the other. It was hard to see much in the dim light, but the second he smiled, Seungmin could’ve sworn the entire space lit up at once, like on a warm summer day. Jungsu really did resemble the sun so much that Seungmin couldn’t help feeling even dumber than he already was.
“Hey, you’re early,” Jungsu purred, heading for the door of room one-fifty-nine and deftly turning the key in the lock. Then he pulled the handle toward himself, stepped inside, and flicked the switch, flooding the small classroom with yellow light, while Seungmin and Jiseok trailed in after him.
He stepped up to the nearest table and set the bag down, the thin plastic rustling unexpectedly loud in the hush of the evening campus. Seungmin decisively headed the same way and, mid-stride, slipped one backpack strap off his shoulder, tugged the bulk of it closer to his stomach, yanked the zipper open, and plunged a hand inside. He pulled out a crumpled packet stuffed with candy, cookies, and some kind of wafers in bright wrappers – basically, everything his eye had latched onto in the store the night before.
“Here, for tea,” he said evenly, almost businesslike. His face stayed stony, composed, and nearly detached; from the outside, he probably looked like he had zero doubts about how appropriate this was. Still, the very second he lifted his gaze to Jungsu, questions began slipping into his head: what if Jungsu bought all of this with club fees? what if he’d explained that at the organisational meeting, and Seungmin, like a total idiot, had been floating in the clouds, missed everything, and was now publicly outing himself, guts and all?
Jungsu looked at the not at all modest by student standards offering, and his lips spread into a smile.
“Seungminnie,” he began softly. It was stupid to even pretend the shift away from the formal ‘-ssi’ wasn’t driving Seungmin a little insane; the diminutive nickname sounded far too good in his ears. “This is the second time you’ve come early, you helped me out so fast with the poster, and now you’re bringing sweets too. If you keep doing this, I’m going to start thinking you’re the most devoted member of the club.”
“That’s true,” Seungmin declared boldly, nodding. “I am the most devoted member.”
He didn’t add that his devotion had a much more specific focus than random books picked for reading and discussion, and that this wasn’t really about literature or even cookies and tea, but very simply about the person standing in front of him. The time for a confession hadn’t come yet. He needed to prep the ground. Show off a little, put his best traits and interesting things about him on display, even if not all of them had grown out of a sincere love for the cause. After all, Seungmin hadn’t lost his hope that he might fall for novels the same way he had fallen for Jungsu.
A distinct snort came from the side. That was Jiseok, who had instantly and flawlessly clocked the half-truth-slash-evasive bullshit, as always; he knew Seungmin far too well. Jungsu, on the other hand, seemed to have bought it and only smiled wider. The only thing missing was a fond ruffle of the hair. It honestly looked like he wanted to do so.
After that, the three of them quickly pushed the tables together, set out chairs, arranged the sweets Seungmin and Jungsu had brought onto plates, and placed mugs that had been hiding in a small nook behind the lecturer’s desk. By the appointed time, people began trickling into the room, and Jungsu pulled the book, a pencil, and a sheet of paper from his backpack. From the glimpse Seungmin caught, it looked like a list of key questions planned for discussion that evening. A strange feeling immediately settled in, as if the old walls of a school classroom closed in around him, and any second now Lim-seonsaengnim would appear and scold him for being a moron who couldn’t understand why the curtains on page one hundred sixteen were blue.
Shit.
This was kind of scary.
Still, Seungmin had always gotten a solid B in literature, despite barely reading anything at all. And here, as he’d been assured, there were no wrong answers whatsoever and no punishment for mistakes. He should be fine, yeah?
“Alright, let’s get started,” Jungsu said, clapping his hands. “I’m really glad everyone’s here. Thanks for coming.”
He carefully slid the book up by its top corners and set it upright on the table, holding it with both palms with the same tender reverence women usually reserved for children. The yellow-and-black cover now faced the group proudly.
“Just a reminder, today we’re discussing ‘The Vegetarian’ by Han Kang,” Jungsu continued. “I hope you at least had time to flip through it.”
The moment those words left his perfect lips, guilt stabbed Seungmin straight in his clenched ass. He hadn’t read much, hadn’t even made it through the first part, and Jiseok had mentioned, very casually, that there were actually three of them. Still, Seungmin kept his face perfectly neutral. This had always been his number one survival rule in literature class. If you didn’t show obvious signs, didn’t twitch, and didn’t look nervous, no one would ever guess you’d spent your time doomscrolling and liking random Twitter posts instead of reading. Yeah, maybe he’d been lying a little when he told himself he’d been swamped with things to do.
“Let’s start with something basic,” Jungsu said, laying the book back down. “What kind of emotions did it leave you with?”
His gaze slid along the two rows of people, as if he were deciding who should speak first, before stopping squarely on Seungmin. He tilted his head slightly.
“Seungminnie?” he asked gently, and it immediately felt like he couldn’t possibly have chosen anyone else. He had to ask the most devoted member of the club, even though that very devoted member was faking it, desperately trying to blend in with a bunch of book lovers.
Seungmin, however, didn’t allow himself a single second of fuss or panic. He simply leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers over his knee.
“It wasn’t very pleasant to read,” he said evenly, recalling how the male narrator had described his wife as if she were a piece of furniture, not a human being he’d chosen to build a life with. Then he briefly thought of what Jiseok had summarised for him and realised that it only got worse as the book went on.
“That’s true, there are a lot of uncomfortable moments in it,” Jungsu nodded. “What bothered you the most?”
“The husband’s attitude toward Ye… Yeonghye,” Seungmin answered. “I think if you genuinely love someone, that person can’t be completely unremarkable to you. What’s the point of choosing a partner who only attracts you because they’re compliant and cater to your whims? You should be looking for someone whose oddities you actually like, not ones that disgust you so much you want them erased.”
As he spoke, Seungmin kept his eyes locked on Jungsu’s and didn’t look away even when a collective, softened sigh rippled through the room. He didn’t really care what the girls thought of him or what kind of knight they were already casting him as. The only opinion that mattered belonged to the guy who was now smiling shyly, completely unaware of just how many pages Seungmin had left unread.
After that, the discussion seemed to roll forward on its own, quickly picking up speed. The girls talked a lot, often cutting each other off, venting with an almost righteous fervour that Seungmin found slightly intimidating and deeply respectable at the same time. They raged about the injustice and cruelty the main character faced, and Seungmin nodded along now and then, noticing how strangely well their words echoed his own feelings.
Jiseok occasionally tossed in his two pennies as well, and even with all his jokes and smartass comments, he fit into the conversation far more naturally than Seungmin had expected. Jungsu, meanwhile, held the reins with ease, gently steering the discussion one way, then another. He asked clarifying questions, politely and seamlessly pulled them back to the text when needed, though he didn’t seem opposed to letting the conversation wander somewhere completely different.
At some point, he picked the book up again, flipped through a few pages, and read a fairly long passage aloud. Seungmin caught himself hanging on every word, letting them settle deep inside him, and for the first time all evening, he truly wasn’t letting anything go in one ear and out the other. He thought he could listen to Jungsu forever, no matter what he was reading out loud: love-soaked anguish, violent descriptions, or dense philosophical treatises.
When the meeting finally came to a close, and they placed a neat full stop at the end of this long, all-consuming discussion, everyone started packing up to head home. Seungmin managed to stand, stretching lazily to work the stiffness out of his back after sitting for so long, and sling his backpack over his shoulders when Jungsu suddenly called his name. Turning around, Seungmin caught sight of a strangely guilty smile tugging at the other’s plush lips.
“Could you stay for a minute, please?” Jungsu asked carefully, lacing his fingers together and staring at the floor. In that moment, he looked like a flustered high school girl. The mental comparison made Seungmin swallow audibly, and it felt like his heart skipped a couple of beats as he nodded in response.
Before stepping closer to Jungsu, he shot a quick glance toward the door and spotted Jiseok’s narrowed gaze. Jiseok waggled his eyebrows in an almost cartoonish way, and Seungmin visibly shrivelled in on himself. He really wanted to flick the bastard on the nose before he pulled something else (like sticking his index finger through the little ring formed by the fingers of his other hand), but instead chose to firmly ignore every filthy hint thrown his way.
Left alone with Jungsu, Seungmin had no idea what to expect. Jungsu could just as easily tell him that showing up to book club without actually finishing the book wasn’t okay as he could shower him with praise for his contribution to today’s meeting. Or maybe he simply needed help tidying up the classroom. It was impossible to guess.
Jungsu cleared his throat awkwardly, bringing his fist to his mouth, then fished something out of his backpack, wrapped in purple paper and tied with a thick blue ribbon. He held the gift out to Seungmin without a word, eyes darting shyly to the side.
Goodness, what was it, and for what reason?!
“Is this… for me?” Seungmin asked in disbelief, lightly digging his fingers into the wrapping. Huh. Judging by the size and feel, it was almost like… “Wait. Is this… is this a book?”
“Yeah,” Jungsu laughed softly, scratching the back of his head. “Thought you’d like it.”
“Uh… do you give books to all the new club members?”
“No, not at all.” He shook his head. “But pretty often to my… friends. If I come across something that feels like it’d be their thing.”
“I see,” Seungmin murmured thoughtfully, once more studying the small bundle in his hands. “Thank you.”
He dipped into a slight bow, stretched a smile across his lips, and silently prayed it came out warm and pretty; he wanted to look genuinely grateful, not intimidating, not like he was about to pick a fight. He wasn’t sure he would manage to get through the book, but if Jungsu had insisted he would like it… then Seungmin was going to do everything in his power to reach the final page. It’d probably take him a while, considering he also had to read for the club, but still.
He didn’t linger in the classroom for long because Jungsu assured him he could handle putting the place back in order on his own, especially once Jiseok came into view, still hovering barely half a metre from the door. In truth, Seungmin wouldn’t have minded helping. It would’ve brought them even closer, right? But he also couldn’t exactly shoo Jiseok away right in front of Jungsu, so he simply bowed again in thanks and trudged off, pressing the gift to his chest.
“Well, looks like there’s been some serious progress,” Jiseok whistled once they were far enough away that Jungsu couldn’t hear them, flicking his gaze at the coil of purple paper. “So? Already seduced the boy?”
“Well, I did say he likes me,” Seungmin shrugged. “You could say we’ve basically been on two dates already. We just haven’t had the guts to call them that.”
“So when are you gonna confess?”
“I don’t know.” He let out a heavy sigh, his head drooping as his eyes glued themselves to the porcelain tiles sliding past beneath his Converse soles. “I don’t wanna rush it. I wanna give him a bit more time to get to know me properly. A month after the meeting is okay, right?”
A week later, Jungsu casually asked whether Seungmin had read the book and if he’d liked it. By that point, Seungmin hadn’t even opened it. He’d only studied the cover closely, read the blurbs on the back, and taped a tiny note above his desk that said, ‘Hope you like it. –Jungsu.’ His tongue just wouldn’t move to confess any of that.
“Yes, a lot,” he lied instead.
Jungsu looked faintly dissatisfied with the answer. His lips puckered into a little bow, his expression dimmed. It felt like he’d wanted a more detailed review, but Seungmin, to his own shame, couldn’t have given one even if his life depended on it. Maybe later, once he actually finished the book, he would corner Jungsu, and they would spend an hour or two unpacking everything that had happened on those pages. For now, though, Seungmin’s thoughts were clinging to a far more urgent problem.
He burnt through another week trying to come up with and organise the perfect confession scene. The issue was that he was catastrophically broke and had no money for flowers or decent chocolate. Most of his scholarship this month had gone into feeding his poor stomach something that at least vaguely resembled meat (and yes, he’d been chugging bubble tea with enviable dedication, which he now deeply regretted). The idea of asking his parents for, say, fifty thousand, while conveniently failing to mention that his ‘chosen one’ was actually a guy, immediately landed in the category of near-impossible missions. Dragging things out another week or even more to take on some freelance gigs wasn’t an option either. He was already dying to tell Jungsu those cherished words and hear ‘I like you too’ in return.
In the end, Seungmin arrived at a painfully obvious, yet no less terrifying, conclusion. He would have to win over the heart of the book club president with something made by his own hands. Jungsu had appreciated all the work he’d done on the promo poster, right? So if Seungmin cooked up something creative again, more or less, there was a chance it would be received warmly.
That was how the idea of making a bouquet of paper flowers was born.
Admittedly, Seungmin had zero confidence in his origami skills. He’d been drawing practically since he was in nappies, but he’d always steered clear of crafts. All he could do was hope the result wouldn’t turn out as horrifying as it very well could, given his chronic bad luck. In the worst-case scenario, he would at least pour his whole soul into it, so he really wanted to believe that would be noticed and, ideally, appreciated.
He got to work on Sunday, right after waking up. Hyeongjun, his roommate, glanced over his shoulder a couple of times but didn’t ask a single question. He seemed genuinely and profoundly uninterested in why Seungmin was drowning in scraps of colourful paper.
By lunchtime, Seungmin’s desk had been taken over by a whole army of tulips, irises, and roses. Unfortunately, most of them fell short of perfection and stubbornly pushed him toward the thought that maybe he should’ve limited himself to just one piece – modest, but pretty. Still, a single flower, especially a paper one, would probably look kind of pathetic. A full bouquet inspired much more confidence, so Seungmin mercilessly gathered every last ugly little monstrosity, wrapped them in kraft paper, and tied it all together with a pink ribbon.
When he was done, he aimed his phone camera, caught some halfway decent lighting, and snapped a photo of the bouquet. He hesitated for a second, wondering if he should take another one, but ended up sending the picture to Jiseok as it was. The reply came almost instantly and stated that it looked like something a kindergartner had made.
Something under Seungmin’s ribs prickled, just a little, but noticeably. Still, the hurt quickly morphed into self-justification. If you really thought about it, ‘kindergarten-level’ meant pure and innocent, and that was exactly what his feelings for Jungsu were. Maybe that was the whole logic behind the gift, huh? Or maybe the logic was that, if it came down to it, he wouldn’t actually find it that hard to call Jungsu ‘mummy.’
Ahem.
He set his phone aside and finally got himself together. The stretched-out home T-shirt and shorts went over the back of the chair, making room for a jacket and a proper pair of trousers. Seungmin picked up the bouquet carefully, as if it might crumble from a single wrong move, which it probably could, and stepped out into the dorm hallway.
He walked toward Jungsu’s room without any obvious trembling in his knees. Jungsu liked him, and that was practically a proven fact. His confession would be accepted either way; no one was going to shove him away. His mind clung tightly to that logical chain, solid and reassuring, while his heart, traitorous bastard, was pounding as if what awaited Seungmin wasn’t a normal conversation but a blind jump from a height with no safety net. He quietly hated that stupid organ for stubbornly ignoring the obvious.
At last, he stopped in front of the right door and knocked three times, with a carefully measured pause between each knock. His hand flew up to his hair on its own, and Seungmin smoothed down the sticking-out strands with a slightly embarrassed gesture. It probably wouldn’t help much, given how catastrophically capricious and unruly his mop was, but in a moment like this, he still wanted to look at least half a point more attractive for Jungsu than usual.
A moment later, the door creaked open softly. Standing in the doorway was not Jungsu at all, but a guy with long blond hair that tangled and clumped together in uneven wisps; a comb would have been a real blessing for that disaster. Thick eyebrows and a square jaw gave his face an inherently unwelcoming expression. His gaze slid down without any shame, lingered on the paper bouquet, then slowly climbed back up.
“Who the hell are you, and what do you want from me?” he asked bluntly, skipping any preamble.
“Uh…” Seungmin lifted the bouquet to his chest, as if it could double as a shield. “Can I see Jungsu?”
A chorus of reproachful voices instantly bloomed in his head, screaming that he, idiot that he was, should’ve texted Jungsu beforehand and asked if he could stop by. One short message could save him, and right now it’d have been Jungsu opening the door, not this weird guy with a judgemental stare who was, apparently, his roommate.
“He’s not here,” the guy informed him without much sympathy. “Left about three hours ago.”
The door slammed shut right in Seungmin’s face. If manners had allowed it, he probably would have groaned out loud and dropped to his knees, but instead he just let out a noisy breath and pressed his lips together, once again mentally cursing himself for not bothering to warn Jungsu about the visit. He stood in front of the cursed door for a few more minutes, staring blankly at its surface and fighting the intrusive urge to bang his forehead against it for preventative purposes.
Then footsteps sounded to his right.
“Seungminnie?” a familiar honeyed voice called out unexpectedly, and Seungmin spun around sharply, crashing his gaze straight into Jungsu. His cheeks were flushed from the cold, his scarf hanging loose around his neck, and his beige coat slightly open, revealing a pretty shirt underneath.
Seungmin didn’t dump his cartload of questions on him. Instead, he simply held out the bouquet.
“I…” he began. “I wanted to say that I really like you.”
Jungsu’s mouth fell open in a stupid way, his face completely confused as his eyes stared, unblinking, at the offered gift. After hesitating for a moment, he carefully took it, turned it over in his hands, and then let out an awkward laugh. When his gaze returned to Seungmin, there was a noticeable dusting of reproach in it.
“You…” Jungsu said. “You haven’t actually read the book I gave you, have you?”
“What?” Seungmin asked, baffled. “Of course I have! I told you I really liked it!”
Jungsu’s brows knitted together, his lips puffed up in an offended pout. He plucked one iris from the bouquet and, without ceremony, lightly bonked Seungmin on the top of the head with it. Not a single one of the scenarios he’d been marinating himself in all day had accounted for this kind of reaction.
“If you had read the book,” Jungsu declared, “you would know that I confessed to you two weeks ago!”
“What…?”
Jungsu exhaled irritably and looked at him like he wanted to laugh and grab his own head at the same time.
“There was a note in the book, Seungmin. With my confession. God,” he shook his head, “I thought you’d rejected me. And you just… didn’t even bother opening it.”
Now it was Seungmin’s turn to laugh nervously as a high, helpless chuckle burst out of him on its own.
“Alright,” Jungsu suddenly said and stepped forward. His fingers caught the edge of Seungmin’s jacket, pulling him closer. “Come here.”
That stupid paper bouquet was still sticking out between them, rustling and getting in the way, but Jungsu didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. Without any warning, he crashed his lips against Seungmin’s in a desperate kiss, and Seungmin’s knees traitorously went weak. Heat flooded his face; his cheeks and ears flared as if someone had splashed them with boiling water. His breath stuttered almost immediately, pulled out of him in short, helpless bursts, and his hands rose on instinct, fingers sinking into the warm give of Jungsu’s cheeks. All of Seungmin’s careful self-control and calmness shattered in a fraction of a second, leaving behind nothing but lightheadedness and a faint strawberry taste on his tongue.
Jungsu’s mouth moved softly but insistently, lips fitting against his with surprising certainty. The kiss stayed chaste, yet something electric raced under Seungmin’s skin, fireworks bursting in his veins despite far dirtier experiences before. None of those had ever left him shaking like this. He guessed the answer was embarrassingly simple; it was all because of Jungsu and how much he liked him.
When Jungsu pulled back, he looked at him differently, his gaze serious, even a little strict, while Seungmin’s hands lingered on his gentle cheeks.
“But you still have to read that book,” he said, and Seungmin quickly nodded in response, again and again.