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They had first drank together at 16. Togeice had woken up in the middle of the night to Desscaras trying to slip out of their shared dorm.
“What are you doing?” She had sat up quickly and Desscaras froze.They stared at each other in silence for a moment.
“Going on another magik hunt?” Desscaras tried, but Togeice saw straight through it.
“Alright then if you're going on a magik I’ll come with you.” She slipped out of bed quickly “Though I question doing a Magik hunt in bed clothes, but I don’t know you for your sane Magik hunts.”
She crossed the room and stood next to Desscaras, and crossed her arms. Desscaras rolled her eyes, and mutter something that sounded like “Hard ass”
“You first Desscaras.” She fixed Desscaras with her best daring you to move face, and Desscaras glared at her, but pushed the door open.
They began walking through the hallways, and stopped in front of the teacher’s lounge. Togeice fixed Desscaras with a quizzical look, and Desscaras smirked.
“Willing to get in trouble again, Toge?” Desscara's voice carried a hint of challenge, and Togeice was not gonna back down. Better Desscaras do something stupid where she could stop her if it went too far, than her doing it herself.
“In your dream’s Desscaras.” Her mouth settled into its own smirk, and Desscaras unlocked, pushed open the door, and immediately went to the back of the room.
“Here we are.” Desscaras opened a cabinet and pulled out a beer bottle. Togeice’s eyes went wide, and she rushed over grabbing it.
“Are you crazy! The teachers will-” Desscaras yanked the bottle back, and smirked more. Only now Togeice realized her smirk didn’t fully cross her face like it usually did.
“I’ve been doing this since I found out there was alcohol in here. They haven’t caught me once.” She said lazily and cracked the bottle open, and took a swig. Togeice grabbed her hand, and concern came replacing the shock.
“What the hell is driving you to this! Don’t you know how-” Desscaras waved her off.
“I know the risks of Togeice! Just fuck off and leave me in peace.” Desscaras turned away from her, and downing the rest of the beer.
“No I won’t! Just…tell me what’s wrong Desscaras…” She caught Desscara's hand again as she reached for another beer. They meet each other's eyes, and Desscara's eyes widened seeing the genuine concern in Togeice’s.
“Or….at least let me drink with you.”
They both went silent, and Desscara's eyes widened even more, but then a small chuckle came out of her and she handed a bottle to Togeice, and she took it, opening it hesitantly. Desscaras took another swig of hers. They sat down and Togeice took a hesitant sip, and her nose scrunched, and she gagged slightly.
“The taste…is…something.” Togeice looked over at Desscaras, who laughed.
“It takes some getting used to…but hey it gets the job done.” Desscaras leaned back looking at the ceiling.
“Get’s what job done?” Togeice gaze followed Desscaras, and Desscaras was silent for a moment.
“Makes me forget shit Toge.” The way she said it made it clear she didn’t want to talk about it.
They sat there for what could have been minutes to hours drinking, and just being silent. Eventually they walked back to their dorm. Both stumbling slightly, and leaning on each other, but even then they were silent.
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This became routine for them over the course of the next year, Desscaras would wake Togeice, and Togeice would come with her. They would drink in silence, sometimes Desscaras would cry and rest her head on Togeice's shoulder, but they wouldn’t discuss why. Desscaras clearly didn’t want to, and Togeice didn’t want to cross that line.
Desscaras appreciated it. Togeice and her clashed heads everywhere else but here…Togeice was just there for her. It sometimes made her heart race, but she refused to admit it to herself or out loud
Most of the time she’d wake her up cause her past came back. She still hadn’t told Togeice that, but her bad dreams would show the scorn of her family, her failing to keep her promise to Libro, and she’d wake needing to forget.
Was it healthy? Fuck no. She knew that, but in those moments it was her way to drown out the pain. Some nights though it was just for the company, and getting to just exist at peace with Togeice.
One night though when she woke Togeice up, and Togeice stopped her from leaving. Togeice had recently gone to her parents, and had snuck back some wine.
“We don’t have to sneak out, and we can limit ourselves.” She placed two glasses on their nightstand between their beds. Desscaras froze, and looked at Togeice, and then laughed.
“Why do you always start caring so damn much about me? When I'm like this…” she spoke softly but fixed Togeice with a look that demanded her to explain.
“No matter how much we butt heads your my friend.” Desscaras laughed.
“Right friend all we are…are you damn sure Togeice?” She moved closer to her, and Togeice fixed her with a look that was complicated, but so clear at the same time.
“No…I’m not you bringing up strange feelings Desscaras..but this isn't a conversation to be had right now…right now you have other things on your mind, and I don’t want to be just a distraction here.” She looked away, and poured the wine into the cups. Desscaras’s eyes fixed on her back, and she felt the storm of her mind calm.
“You know it’s always helped having you here when we're doing this.” her voice was small, but still audible, and Togeice turned smiling slightly, and handed her a cup.
“That’s good to know.” They drank in silence for a moment.
“I drink to forget my family.” she said it low, but Togeice’s eyes widened.
“What why?” Togeice's voice was shocked, and Desscaras looked down. “You don’t have to share It’s not my job to know-”
“They’re dead, I watched them die, and I was helpless to do anything.” Desscaras sat on her bed, and took another sip.
“Desscaras that must have been horrible-” Desscaras holds up her hand.
“I don’t need condolences, and all that. I’m over it. Just sometimes the memories become too much, and I have nightmares…” Desscaras finished her glass, and stood up. “I do again want to thank you for always being here even without knowing why.”
“You don’t have to thank me for anything.” Togeice said and filled Desscaras’s glass.
They sat in silence just drinking for a moment. Desscaras raised her head slightly, and looked across at Togeice, and her heart sped up. The light fell across Togeice's face in a…. well Desscaras didn’t quite know how to quantify it, but she knew Togeice looked gorgeous.
“You look as beautiful as the ice you create.” Desscaras felt heat rise to her cheeks, and she supposed in hindsight maybe drinking with the woman you were head over heels for was never the best idea.
“What?” Togeice’s head shot up and looked at Desscaras.
“You're as beautiful as the ice you create.” Desscaras looked away laughing. “Geez I finally said that…” Her eyes went back to Togeice who was red, but also had her jaw hung open in shock.
“Wa…Was that some sort of confession?” Desscaras laughed harder, she had finally managed to get Togeice embarrassed enough to stutter, and blush as red as can be. She moved to sit next to Togeice, and whispered teasingly.
“If it is?” Togeice looked at her, and Desscaras heard Togeice’s breath hitch. “Or maybe you want it more direct. I love you.”
“Desscaras…Can’t this wait till we're not drinking? We-” Desscaras kissed her, and silenced her. Togeice then sat jaw open in shock.
Desscaras and started to chuckle as Togeice's brain clearly kept resetting in shock. It quickly broke into full laughter until she was shut up by a pair of lips on hers. Which she happily leaned into. They end up forgetting their drinks, and just cuddle together in Togeice’s bed, and when they finally sleep…Desscaras had no dreams. Just peaceful silence.