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It was a nice morning in the fabled "Delusional Office", roughly about 8 in the morning or so.
Zero had already prepared herself breakfast, which is a nice grilled cheese with ham. She wasn't really a grilled cheese person, but she had to eat SOMETHING after all.
Delmon woke up and arrived at the kitchen a bit later after Zero sat down to eat. Delmon wasn't exactly a morning person, so you'd expect to see them in a heavily [and i mean HEAVILY] sleepy state.
000: Morning, sleepyhead.
Delmon: Morn'.
Delmon then poured themselves a bowl of cereal, which wasn't very easy due to her barely awake eyes. Zero could only giggle as she keeps on accidentally missing the bowl.
Eventually, Delmon sat down at the same table Zero sat at, and began eating. The quiet-ness didn't last long, however, as Delmon thought of a interesting topic to talk about.
Delmon: Yo, Zero.
000: Hm?
Delmon: Have you ever realized that cereal is actually... a soup?
Zero then put down her grilled cheese with ham, quite confused about Delmon's question.
000: ...What on earth are you talking about?
Delmon: What?
000: Cereal isn't a soup...
Delmon: Yeah, It is! The Delusi-Os I'm eating right now is a soup!
Zero gave Delmon a deadpan stare.
000: Delmon, you can not be serious.
Delmon looked at Zero confusedly, not understanding if she disagrees with their opinion or if she simply just doesn't like Delusi-Os in particular.
Delmon: I'm not? Delusi-Os is my favourite soup!
000: Delmon, Delusi-Os isn't a soup... It's a CEREAL.
Delmon: Well duh, no shit it's a cereal, but it's also a soup.
000 then facepalmed themselves hard enough it could probably leave a bruise.
000: How in the actual FUCK could you possibly think that CEREAL is a SOUP?
Delmon: It's quite, as the kids say, "shrimple", really:
Delmon: Soup, is a liquid dish with optional ingredients inside, such as tomatoes, carrots, blood clots, etc.
000: blood clots??????
Delmon: In this scenario, milk is the liquid, and the ingredients are Delusi-Os, so it's a soup!
Zero started to get a bit more interested in whatever Delmon was talking about. However, she wasn't convinced.
000: Wow. Truly a observation. There's one small issue, though.
Delmon: And what could that be, Zero?
000: A soup has to be BOILED you dumbass. And it's got to have some meat or vegetables or something like that.
Delmon: That's where you're wrong, buddy. It DOESN'T have to. Cold soup exists, and cereal is a cold soup.
Zero became even more baffled. She felt like Delmon was just ragebaiting her at this point.
000: Are you stupid or something??? All soup is BOILED!
000: Name me ONE type of soup that is served cold.
Delmon: Well, from what I've seen, theres this thing called "Gazpacho". I haven't tried one myself but from what I heard, it's a soup that is typically served well-chilled.
Delmon: So yeah, there you have it.
Zero thought about it for a second. Delmon actually brought up a good point.
000: Huh, guess I didn't know that.
000: But STILL, cereal is not a soup! Look it up!
Delmon: Yeah, yeah. Give me a second.
Delmon then quickly pulled out his phone and searched up "the definition of soup". She then showed what the phone said to Zero.
Delmon: See? It says it right here: "A liquid dish, typically made by boiling meat, fish or vegetables, etc. in stock or water."
000: None of this describes cereal! It doesn't have any meat, fish or vegetables in it!!
Delmon: Obviously, but it doesn't say it HAS to have any of that to be classified as soup. It says TYPICALLY, not ALWAYS.
Zero gave Delmon another unamused look.
000: Well then, what about the stock, huh? A soup needs a broth.
Delmon: The milk IS the broth, dumbass! It adds more flavor to the cereal, and it makes it easier to eat! Just like any other type of soup!
Zero was starting to get tired of this conversation. She felt like she was fighting an unwinnable battle, so she decided to just let Delmon be.
000: You know what? Fine. You win. Believe what you want to believe.
Delmon closed his eyes and smuggingly crossed his arms with full pride.
Delmon: Exactly.
000: However, if we follow your logic, what if all cereals are soups then, hm? Have you thought of that?
Delmon's attention was immediately drawn to Zero's argument, and looked at Zero deadpanningly.
Delmon: Don't be stupid, Zero. It's the same thing as how all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares.
Zero was slowly starting to lose her patience. She then started to raise her voice.
000: What the fuck are you talking about???? That makes like, zero sense whatsoever!
Delmon then slammed their hands on the table, starting to lose her temper a bit aswell trying to negociate with Zero.
Delmon: IT DOES MAKE SENSE, YOU FAGGOT!! ALL SQUARES ARE RECTANGLES BECAUSE A RECTANGLE HAS 4 SIDES, SO ALL SQUARES FIT THAT DESCRIPTION! HOWEVER, NOT ALL RECTANGLES ARE SQUARES, BECAUSE A SQUARE HAS TO HAVE 4 EQUAL SIDES, WHICH RECTANGLES DON'T HAVE.
Delmon: SO IN THE SAME SENSE, ALL CEREALS ARE SOUPS, BUT NOT ALL SOUPS ARE CEREALS.
000: THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!!
Delmon: YES IT FUCKING DOES!!!!
Even more bickering then ensues between the two, which felt like hours, even though it only took about 45 seconds. Eventually, both of them decided that this argument was useless.
They were both supernatural deities, yet they spend their morning arguing about... cereal. They decided to fully settle down, as this was getting them nowhere.
Delmon: Okay, okay, Zero, Zero, listen.
Delmon: This shit has gone for long enough, let's just stop. I'm getting kind of tired of going through cereal psychology.
Zero took a deep breath.
000: Fine.
Delmon: Good, now let's just finish our breakfast. Your grilled cheese with ham is probably cold now as we speak.
000: Oh, that's not a grilled cheese with ham.
Delmon gave Zero a confused glare.
Delmon: what
000: It's a ham sandwich with melted cheese. Big difference, y'know.
Delmon: ...
Delmon then got up and left.
000: Delmon? Where are you going?
:3