Chapter Text
birds sung, cooed, and flew; covering the bright sun while they glided through the vast sky. its dull blue slowly transitioning into a beautiful cotton candy gradient as minutes went by—and soon, the admiration of the view ended abruptly with the sound of shoes landing on pavement, car door swinging shut with a satisfying sound at the end like slam! footsteps would become part of the ambience of early morning; dawn, alongside the cool breeze which made the girl's hair sway side-to-side for each step she took. frigid air meeting just-now-lip-balm-applied lips, erasing the lip balm's effect and immediately replacing it with the quick but sharp pain of lips that were definitely prone to cracking.
sounds of chatter from students nearby filled her ears. the day—today had just been born. eyes glanced over to her as she ambled, like she knew their gaze would be on her. she smiled hearing them greet her mid-sentence. waving her hand in a motion that screamed: i see you. look as much as you want before i'm gone.
her footsteps reached an ending point by the front gates of her school. her hand reached out only to pull back when the door was already held open for her by another peer.
"oh- thank you!" she chimed, walking in while turning her head to give them a polite smile.
without a second to spare, her eyes darted around. she was searching for the face that greeted her each morning warmly. like dew on grass—though that was a stupid comparison—it really did feel that way. she scouted in every direction upon entering. north, east, south, west; never eat soggy waffles, just where was she?
she bit the inside of her cheek. no way did this girl skip today. until—
"an! over here!" her pink-haired friend called out to her, waving at her with gleaming eyes.
an perked up in an instant. her footsteps quickened. she held onto the strap of her bag as she rushed over. "mizuki! where were you?" an beamed.
mizuki let out a dry chuckle before answering. "i was looking for you. turns out you arrived later than i thought though." her voice coated the words with a hint of playfulness.
"did i not send you a message about that?" she questioned. an turned that into a frequent thing. she'd tell her what time she'd arrive; though it was never that accurate.
the girl beside her checked her phone. "nope." showing an that she asked when she was coming, text unread.
an leaned forward, then pulled back with a sigh, "shit—i mean whoops! i forgot. my bad."
they both looked at each other before laughing, mizuki teasing an like always. this felt right. it felt like everything to her. though they were missing a certain someone.
"oh wait, why's akito not with you today?"
"li'l bro? he's with toya. i was gonna annoy him until he looked at me dead in the eyes- like this," mizuki's eyes shifted into a cold glare as if it were a warning. "i swear i nearly pissed myself."
an giggled, "i would've too. he's like a whole different person around toya."
"you think so?" mizuki grinned.
"well duh! i thought everyone could see it. especially you since we're really close with him." she rambled as they kept walking, "with toya he lets his guard down subtly. like, do you know what i mean?"
"'course i do. honestly, i already knew everything you said, i was just messing with you." the pink-haired girl stuck her tongue out.
she nudged mizuki with her elbow, "oh you— don't talk to me."
"don't say that- you're such a bully," mizuki faked crocodile tears, "teacher! an's being mean to me again!" the two laughed together.
"this is why our teachers don't and won't let us sit next to each other."
"it's because they'd probably have an aneurysm trying to keep two dumbasses together." mizuki added, causing both of them to laugh harder.
an's hand covered her mouth as she laughed. "probably? you mean they would. they hate me so bad."
"same with me! they'd gawk at my low-ass attendance. they hate us—not you only, not me only, but us."
"true that. they just hate two pretty bestfriends who wanna get off their asses and actually do something," the red-streaked girl cleared her throat, "something that isn't paperwork and getting early scoliosis."
the taller girl nodded. smiles on both of their faces that looked as if it'd last forever. the two of them continued to stroll through the hall, conversing about topics; about everything.
"—oh, an, we have like three minutes before we gotta go to class." mizuki noted.
an tilted her head, "you wanna go right now?"
both looked at each other, presumably waiting for one of them to make a choice already. mizuki hummed, glancing at the clock, then back at an: "might as well. everyone's already skedaddling to their classes, it'd be bad if we got slimed for being late."
"yeah," an smiled. "yeah. true. i don't want them hopping on my- our case any further so... see you later!" she parted from mizuki, eyes still focused on her. she waved her hand back and forth swiftly, walking backwards.
the pink-haired grinned, waving back as her heel lifted from the ground. "smell you later!" she walked away shortly after, an's eyes staying on her until she was out of sight.
the smile stayed on an's face while walking to her homeroom. though it was ironic because everytime she'd went, she'd scowl. it's not like she hated english. probably. english wasn't that bad of a class. she just couldn't get herself to care much for it: from sappy, corny, and overly cheesy poems to analyzing texts that sounded ridiculous and writing a prequel, a sequel, to them—it was repetitive. not much to take from it other than becoming a member of the grammar police, outdoing the birth of shakespeare's poems, and trying not to lose her head from sheer boredom.
it took only about a minute before she got to the door. she was about to twist the lever handle until another hand came into view, she thought: why the fuck does this keep happening to me? regardless, she shifted her gaze towards the other.
"oh, sor—" she instinctively mumbled. the apology abruptly interrupted by what she saw next.
it was kohane.
azusawa kohane.
one of the top students of the school campus if not the one. the girl who teachers praised and showered with complete adoration, like she was a diamond that gleamed and glittered above all else. kohane, who others (including an) couldn't read because of her stupidly bleak expression. the thing that people could read though, was that she was perfect: perfectly on time, always adored, always getting perfect scores, perfectly prepared, she was the people's definition of perfection.
nobody could ever read her or tell what she was thinking though. not even an.
well, all besides one time. and only once for an ensured that it'd be the first and last.
it was a few months prior, almost a year ago even. it was when their old teacher, mrs. cecilio, had the daring idea of assigning the two to sit by each other.
an would lean back in her seat, would tap her pen against the desk, whisper tiny comments that slipped past everyone's ears. and wouldn't stop nagging kohane's ear off about how asocial; silent she was.
safe to say, things didn't go as planned.
it took about twenty unanswered questions and tons of witty comments wasted, gone to dust, until an started scheming a way to get a reaction from the well-composed girl.
"you're so boring," she dropped.
kohane's eyes broke contact from her paper to glance at an. her lips didn't move, didn't even tremble. an could've sworn she rolled her eyes at that. even her way of noticing was plain.
an's voice dropped to a condescending whisper. "i said you're boring."
mrs. cecilio continued teaching the class as if nothing was happening. she was focused on the board, elaborating on the subject.
the raven-haired girl tuned everything out other than the girl beside her. she was waiting. waiting to see her perfect-surface ebb away.
"you're just gonna take that?" she smirked, "i thought you had more self-respect."
kohane's pen drew to a halt. the girl's eyes sharpened. "i do."
an's lips formed a cunning smile. "you sure?"
"yes. now stop talking." the blonde coldly replied before giving the sheet of paper all of her attention once more.
without thinking it over, an's fingers tugged at the paper. sliding it over to her side as kohane gasped. "what are you doing?" she asked, voice faint with a hint of frustration.
"this, is just a distraction for you. to not think about my words," an's hand closed in on the paper, "are you gonna tell the teacher on me?"
kohane was taken aback. she glared at an, eyes staring daggers into her. she opened her hand, "just give it back. that's mine."
"i know it's yours, that's why i'm taking it."
her pulse jumped, other hand balling into a fist. she clenched her jaw. "are you that desperate for attention?"
an let out a chuckle, "so now you're letting your anger show?"
kohane's hands tried to grab the paper from an, ultimately missing when she lowered it beneath her side of the table.
kohane groaned. "gosh. you're annoying."
"it's called leaving an impression." an winked.
"sure."
"you wouldn't know about it."
"shiraishi. just give the paper back."
"do you girls have a question for the class?" mrs. cecilio's voice interrupted the two's banter. "shiraishi, why do you have azusawa's paper?"
kohane glanced at the woman and then around the room—everyone's eyes were focused on them. on her. "miss- she took it from me-" the words came out of her quickly, frantic.
"why didn't she give it back?" she asked.
"she refused to—"
"no. i was going to, but then she was calling me insults." an butted in.
kohane's head turned to her. "pardon me?"
"you called me annoying."
"but you were the one who started it—"
"ladies! that's enough from the both of you! detention afterschool. no excuses."
kohane's stern face broke. her stare which was usually unreadable, empty, and bereft of any real emotion, turned into a mix of shock and sadness. her eyes came close together, cheeks burning.
seeing this, an's lips twitched, curling into a smile of elation.
***
when the bell dismissed them, an headed to the library where kohane already was for detention.
there mrs. cecilio was, waiting and keeping a keen eye on both girls. she was crossing her arms and had that serious look on her face which always sent shivers down an's spine.
as she lectured the both of them, an laid her school supplies on the table. she drowned out most of if not everything she said. it went on for an awful long while.
after mrs. cecilio took her leave, an's eyes left her paper and looked around.
the afternoon light poured in from the windows. gold, like honey, but not too brightly. and the light directly shone on the blonde across her. it reached over to their notes as well, though the red-streaked wasn't focusing on hers at all compared to kohane.
she only remembered the last part of what happened. when she pressed too harshly on kohane's wound from earlier, resulting in them arguing.
she remembers their argument. kohane was right—as always—of course she was.
"—maybe, if you didn't cause this whole thing, then we wouldn't be here." came flatly out of her.
"that's because you were so fucking boring! all you do is just sit there in silence, give me the occasional judgy look, and then act like i'm invisible."
"and that's my fault? what about the things that you've done?"
"i tried to get your attention the easy way, but you just shrug it off and take it for granted. do you realize how stupid that is?!"
"you'll get over it when you quit obsessing over me!"
an's eyes widened, kohane didn't make it obvious but she was frustrated too. an's blood boiled, her thoughts telling her she shouldn't yet her mouth acted before she could stop. "obsessing? why would anyone obsess over a bitch like you—"
she clasped a hand over her mouth. kohane stared at her. her eyes softened for just a split second but an could see it. see the way how her lips quivered then reverted to being sealed shut. and she heard her breath hitch, before she closed her eyes, inhaling then exhaling, and glanced back at her notes.
"...kohane, i—"
the bell rung. an's hand reached out for her, but kohane flinched at that. pulled back. her eyes glared into an's. her hands swiftly gathered her school supplies before her lips parted.
"don't. just... apologize to me when you've fully changed."
then turned her back, picking up her pace as her head lowered. and an heard her quiet breaths that came out unevenly.
even though her voice sounded assertive. even though she maintained her composure, and seemed unbothered, those shuddery breaths told an everything.
she fucked up.
"apologize to me when you've fully changed."
those words echoed in her head like rain droplets. the memory was still embedded in her mind. even though it was so long ago, an remembered it as clear as day. truthfully, she'd never be able to forget about it. and right now, kohane's beside her. next to her. fuck was this awkward.
"shiraishi," the tone of her voice was polite, sounding smooth and collected. "the door?" it was annoying how maintained her voice was.
nonetheless, it sent a ripple through her thoughts, bringing her back to the door that they were awkwardly standing in front of.
she looked around, and then, as if the interaction couldn't have gotten any more awkward, an's eyes met kohane's. it was out of pure accident, a stupid habit that formed with others she talked to. but it didn't change the fact that her eyes landed on the other girl's.
she made a quick mental note to herself—kohane's eyes were brown, but light, like that of a monarch butterfly's wings. like honey swirl in her irises. her gaze was warm unlike her being. and worst of all: it was a good look on her—no, stop thinking about her eyes, jackass. the door.
"right." an muttered, breaking eye contact after the millisecond she realized they'd looked at each other.
looked into each other's eyes. a bit too long for her liking.
inhaling then exhaling, she swiftly turned the handle, and stepped foot into the classroom. her classmates greeted her warmly, distracting her from the awkward moment.
but seeing kohane walk past her, not even sparing her another look, as if her brain went on autopilot and searched for her seat, caught an's attention.
an's eyes followed her through peripheral vision, she still hated kohane. definitely so. yet she couldn't stop thinking about her stupid eyes. how they were full of coldness but painted with warmth. her head shrugged it off as it just being common occurrence for things that happened out of the blue. not much else to think of it.
"an? you good?" one of her classmates asked. an's eyes immediately stopped scanning kohane, turning back to her peers (that she was definitely not paying any attention to willingly).
"'course i am." an followed, "why? your eyes deceiving you? you might wanna look closer then." she joked, winking playfully. her classmate giggled in response, smiling as her reply would stumble. classmates then bickered, crowding around an, wanting her attention as well.
same old, same old. this was the average morning routine for an. the only amusement she'd get was messing around with other classmates when mizuki had to go.
not to mention, ragebaiting kohane. but that was rare. her homeroom teacher knew better sadly.
that wouldn't stop an from pulling whatever strings she could find loose though. it was always the best form of entertainment for her when she could damage kohane's perfect shell. seeing her brows furrowed, lip bitten down harshly, and that icy, cold stare coming from her ironically warm eyes made an nearly burst out laughing. it's like every english period slowly lost its real purpose and instead began turning into a game to see how far she could push kohane.
an looked out of the corner of her eye again subconsciously hoping kohane was watching. but she wasn't, rather burying her head in her book—it looked like she was making out with it. an wouldn't be surprised if she did that. she'd do books over parties, books over people, just books over everything and anything.
as expected of the school campus' princess. the raven-haired girl thought. rolling her eyes, she shifted her focus back to the crowd surrounding her.
only for that to last for a hot minute, as her ears picked up on something interesting.
"is azusawa always like that?" an overheard a student ask another. "she doesn't even look up when her name's called."
she perked up, mind fixated on eavesdropping. their conversation continued: "i don't know. i'm kinda glad she doesn't. it's good for sneaking looks at her. you catch?"
his words drifted to an end with his voice sounding oddly sultry. an's gaze locked in on the two.
"yeah. just wish she talked more though. mysterious chicks aren't usually my type," his friend dropped casually.
"no way. dude, are you into her?" he covered his mouth with his hand, eyes creased.
the guy shrugged it off before shaking his head many seconds later. odd pause, an noted.
"shit bro, shut up. i'm not. wasn't even saying anything that could possibly mean that. dumbass."
the bell rung after the words left his mouth. an blew the chicken coop of her classmates a half-assed kiss before returning to her seat. her mind now pondering about the conversation the guys had with one another.
it's not like she actually gave two shits about it, giving a single fuck about it would be like a charity donation anyway. it'd leave her mind after a few minutes of thinking. she was never the type of person who gave things much attention, always pulling away once it bored her. which was often the case for most things in her life. this was indubitably one of them.
was.
and fuck saying that it was indubitably, it certainly wasn't anymore.
because when she turned to the side, what was in her sight was that of the guy who spoke to his friend about kohane. his jet black hair obscured her vision from seeing the blonde. and he was actively looking at her, gazing at kohane.
noticing this, an used it to her advantage: "ooh, kohane's got your eye, huh?" her voice mumbled quietly, tone deceptively coltish.
his head turned towards her. "whuh? no she doesn't. she's just pretty as hell. why the fuck does everyone keep thinking i'm into her?"
"i don't know, maybe open your eyes. you're really not as slick as you think you seem..."
"i wasn't trying to be slick. it's nothing. damn, you're invasive." he aggressively rebutted.
an raised her hands up mockingly. "okay, nobody's out to get you, chill. i just got curious, 's all." then, out of impulse, smirked as her lips parted. "from the way how you're reacting though, i think it's safe to say i'm right."
"you're not but sure. go ahead. why does this bother you anyway? it has nothing to do with you."
"sue me for wanting to know a little and guessing. damn is this world tragic."
"what, do you like her?"
an's voice lowered, "no. where'd that even come from?"
"that's literally what you're doing to me, fucking hypocrite. get a taste of your own medicine. who cares if i stare at her. or make a move. you don't even like her. said it yourself." his eyes bored into an. he leaned closer to her ear, and she pulled back as subtly as possible. "get out of my way while you're at it."
she thought that her angel fangs were piercing—jabbing into the soft flesh of her lips, but it was just her teeth that were doing so.
"asshole." she cursed under her breath.
an wasn't sure what it was that frustrated her so much. like she even knew what was the underlying cause in the first place. all she knew was that it was annoying not having things go her way. and having someone else who noticed kohane, who sounded and acted like they were gonna get to her—not that an cared about them taking interest in kohane romantically, she couldn't care less about that. but getting to her before an had an opportunity? absolutely not.
for the whole period, as their teacher, ms. renderos would teach, an scowled. the room's atmosphere was humidifying; breaking a sweat from an's annoyance which scorched.
the red-streaked girl knew from an objective standpoint that kohane was attractive. hell, even she herself found her attractive too. but the kohane everybody else saw was just a persona. a disguise. an's been the only one to see it falter, break, crack, and fracture. it was the one thing that an looked forward to about kohane. only thing, actually. and it was hers to keep. like her twisted definition of propinquity.
surely he meant nothing by it, and neither did his friend. nobody would seriously be into her underwhelming presence. besides, the guy seemed like a total dick, an noted that first thing. he seemed too much of a poltroon to commit to her regardless.
but from the way how he snapped at an, let his anger burst, and cursed at her—an fleered. if he was being serious, which she reached the conclusion that he genuinely was, it was gonna become her favorite reality tv show.
"get out of his way while i'm at it? it's more like my way if anything." she snickered to herself.
an continued to stare daggers at him the whole period. occasionally glancing looks at kohane, who expectedly, never returned her glances.
whatever this was—a game? a challenge? an obstacle? an gave a daring smirk. you're on, dickhead. let's see the look on your face when i kick your ass into next tuesday.
for the next classes that an had, she was barely able to focus. not like that changed much. she just couldn't stop thinking of telling mizuki and akito about what happened. so, when the bell finally rang, she let out a war cry of victory.
“mizuki, oh my god. you have no idea how badly i yearned for lunch today.” an groaned exasperatedly. she poked at the food on her lunch tray.
mizuki laughed, “what happened this time?” she glanced over at an whose face looked like it was about to set ablaze, “girl. come on, spill. you actually look like you’re about to have the worst braeakdown of your life.”
“that's because i am. i don’t even know where to start,” an’s hand cupped her cheek, sighing, “like, okay- you know when we both left to go to our classes?”
the pink-haired girl nodded, listening intently. an continued, "yeah. so, not even a minute later, i go to class, and all of a sudden, wow! kohane’s conveniently there. and guess what?” mizuki’s lips mouthed a what as she sipped her banana milk. “she- we- i, i um. i looked at her." she started choking.
“an, holy shit, an. slow down. what?” her voice struck with disbelief.
an’s eyes were big. big and wide. staring into mizuki’s like if she broke eye contact with her, she’d be considered the world’s biggest liar. “yeah. i know. unbelievable. and- and we just looked at each other. stared."
the words were stranded in a bubble of silence. like both girls needed time to process what an just said. even an herself couldn’t believe it. there was more to tell, more to share, more to say. so much more. yet it was the first time an found herself at a loss for words.
"i told myself to let it go, to stop and not think about it anymore like everything else. but it just keeps coming back and it's annoying the shit out of me," she added on. warmth slightly brushed her cheeks. her hands curled into fists without realizing.
“no, wait it's okay. that happens. but um, an, so, to recap: kohane, like, the girl that every teacher fawns over–who hates your ass, made eye contact with you?” mizuki’s words came out slowly. her finger moving in the air like she was swiping towards a next set of events.
“yeah. exactly that. i looked at her on accident, then she looked back at me.” she bit into a piece of her food.
“and this really happened?”
she paused chewing. “mizuki. i'm being honest. like on everyone's soul besides our trio. why would i lie about anything that involves kohane? especially something as crazy as this."
“nono, it’s not like i don’t believe you! it’s more like i just. can’t… believe that this actually happened.” her banana milk was set back down on the table.
“i know. can’t and don’t want to either,” the red-streaked girl grumbled, lips frowning.
the other girl sighed, patting an’s back reassuringly with a slight smile. switching the topic to something more uplifting, she asked, "did anything else happen?”
“she certainly left me at a loss for words. wasn’t supposed to happen. ever. but it did somehow today.”
a dry chuckle left her, “okay, you know i’m asking for more than that. what else happened, grumpy pants?”
an elbowed her teasingly before replying. “i overheard these two guys talking about her. and obviously i eavesdropped on them, but what was really interesting was that i’m convinced one of them is into her.”
mizuki’s eyes widened. “did they openly say that or?”
an paused, thinking back to it. “'mm. you could say that. probably? prolly not–well, when his friend joked about it, he got all defensive. bell rung, found out i was sitting next to him, and i did the same for fun. he exploded on me the moment i brought her up.”
“classic an,” mizuki joked, causing both of them to laugh.
“honestly? i find it hard to believe he even has a chance.” an stated confidently, “he’s too defensive. like a rabid dog. and when he isn’t angry, he’s more of a pussy than he seems.”
her friend continued sipping her drink all the while agreeing with her. “i don’t know much about kohane, but from what i’ve heard, it’s hard to get her to open up. so… sucks for him.”
an shrugged. “that’s exactly what i thought. but he genuinely believes he has a chance. told me to ‘get out of his way while i’m at it.’ you wanna know what i thought about that?” her voice trailed off playfully.
jokingly, she rolled her eyes. “oh god, should i mentally prepare myself?”
“maybe.” an grinned, "but anyway. i thought about it for a little longer before deciding. i'm gonna steal her from him.” she declared, announcing it as if it was with all of her heart’s pride.
silence.
just really awkward silence–occasionally broken by other kids screaming their heads off in the cafeteria.
but other than that, complete and utter dead silence.
while mizuki was staring at her for a good five seconds, akito arrived shortly after. with a lunch tray in his hand. he looked at the two of them. brow raised.
“...what’re you two talking about?” he asked, leaning down in his seat.
“li’l brosef. li’l bro. dude. you’re not gonna believe what an just said.”
“what did she say this time?” his fork lifted a piece of his pancakes from the tray.
the pink-haired girl facepalmed, dragging her hand down her face. “an just told me about this guy who wants kohane. and we agreed he doesn’t have a chance. but then–”
“but then? just get to the point."
“i said i’m gonna steal her from him.”
the piece of his pancakes fell back onto his tray as his mouth went agape. “huh? you- an. what?”
"w-what? why are you guys acting like it's the end of the world?" an stuttered, seeing the faces of her bestfriends that were both in shock and disbelief.
"you realize that idea is crazier than you think, right?" akito replied straightforwardly.
mizuki cartoonishly gulped, "i might have to side with li'l bro this time around... sorry an."
"awh, come on you two. i thought that idea was like killing two birds with one stone. don't you guys see the vision?"
"no. definitely not—hold on, there was a vision?" his pitch slightly rose at the end. mizuki giggled at akito's reaction, and so did an.
"well yeah. of course there was, i thought you guys would've hyped me up!" an pouted jokingly, "it's like taking both of them down. he's not gonna get her, and i'm gonna mess around with her. it's like the universe is telling me something with how this whole day's been about kohane."
"i'm pretty sure we knew about how you wanted to shut both of them down, but an, how are you gonna execute it?" mizuki asked, genuinely curious to know more about an's absurdity.
"piece of cake. i'll just have to turn things in my favor. so i'll get in his way and ruin his path until it's carved into my own. plus, kohane's going to notice me. i'm an annoyance to her. she loathes me, but that means she'll have to see me in order to hate me. so that's that."
eating her food with a content look on her face, an cocked her head to the side. "any objections? questions? oppositions that i don't know about?"
akito and mizuki turned their heads to look at one another, like a tacit agreement clicked between the two of them: she's beyond saving.
"this is complete idiocy," the ginger suspired, "i thought for a moment you were messing with us. you're actually serious about this?"
the red-streaked girl nodded, getting up with her tray in hand. "as serious as i'll ever be." she smirked before leaving to toss her finished lunch.
mizuki leaned closer to akito's side, covering the side of her face with her hand whilst she whispered, "this is way too crazy. how much are you willing to bet an's totally gonna fall for her along the way?"
the boy lifted a brow in mixed bewilderment and amusement. "huh? we're really betting off of her dumbassery?" mizuki nodded. after a hefty sum of persuasion and convincing, akito sighed. "well... i'll give it 2–3 weeks i guess. 20 bucks."
"oh, now that's a deal. 20 bucks says that she'll start falling around the second week. you owe me if my word's right."
"and when exactly did i agree to that proposal?"
"i'll get you the cheesecake from the bakery nearby tomorrow if you agree."
"...deal. you're on."
when an returned, she asked the two of them why they were looking at her with such dorky, smug-looking smiles.
"you know, i'm still wondering why you guys were smiling all freakishly like that." an brought up whilst the trio walked towards their next class.
"'s nothing really." akito shrugged. "honestly, if i received pennies for each time you've asked, i'd have too many to count."
the pink-haired girl careened towards akito's side, "you'd so buy pancakes and cheesecake with them."
"would not. i'm not some glutton who just eats pancakes and cheesecakes for all his life," the ginger grumbled.
"akito. we've gone to cheesecake factory on most of if not all of your birthdays." the red-streaked girl held in her laugh, "not to mention how my contact name for you is literally 'pancake monster'."
the three of them laughed, though akito specifically tried to hide his laughter. they were jumping from topic to topic, using the minutes during passing period to their advantage. the atmosphere was convivial. their voices blended in with other students chatting with their friends. an had a grin on her face the whole time; her whisker dimples were a guaranteed appearance around the two of them.
"ooh, i just remembered, isn't kohane in our class?" mizuki mentioned, voice curious.
"hey. you might want to see the look on her face." the words left him in a dry chuckle, looking at an and then gesturing mizuki to do the same.
she followed, moving to an's side, and looked at her. she was surprisingly deep in thought—rare occurrence, both of them agreed silently.
“woah! would you look at that, is our an really thinking for the first time?” mizuki poked an’s cheek teasingly.
an pouted, being brought back to reality. “wh- hey! i think all the time. i’m just… thinking about the plan right now.” her sentence trailed off with a mischievous tone.
“you’ve definitely got a knack for coming up with the strangest things.” akito sighed.
“i’m starting to worry about how extreme she’s gonna go,” mizuki looked over to akito while her finger spun near her head, “it's like a mythical sighting seeing her lost in la-la land. should we be worried for kohane?”
“yeah. we should warn azusawa before this turns catastrophic..." the ginger nodded in agreement.
the red-streaked girl’s eye twitched. “there is no way you guys aren’t doing this on purpose when i’m literally sandwiched between the two of you.” her deadpan tone caused both of them to laugh. she flipped them off before ultimately giving in to their contagious laughter.
“—oh. guess we’re here now,” akito pointed out.
the two of them walked in before her. she smiled, ready to enter the classroom after them. just as her legs were ready to move, to step in—
she paused.
what the fuck? again? her thoughts cursed. as out of the corner of her eyes, she saw that sandy, blonde hair with a peekaboo of sapphire blue. she could recognize it anywhere and everywhere. of course. just when i'm not even inches away from the entrance.
kohane was looking up; forward. eyes straight. lips pressed together. it was nothing new yet—her hand stilled near her chest. whatever. cool. it's cool. this is just the girl that you hate. a whole lot. she hates you too. and it's just the two of you again, but this'll pass the moment you stop thinking about it. the words would chant in her mind like a mantra.
once she finally got herself together, she prepared herself. she was about to look away. ready to strut past kohane like she didn't matter. like she never saw her just now.
but right as her eyes left kohane; averted her gaze, she saw it.
a glimpse of kohane looking at her.
those stupidly pretty brown eyes of hers staring for a split second before pulling away as she pretended like she wasn't looking at her.
before an could react or even process what just happened, she was met with the sight of kohane's back turned to her. her wavy hair swayed perfectly, walking in.
"...typical." an muttered. she didn't know whether to be frustrated, upset, or perplexed. frustrated that kohane was the first to look away. upset that the look in her eyes wasn't admiration nor was it longing (though an knew it'd never come to be that way). or perplexed that she even looked at her in the first place.
she scoffed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "wow. 'kay, fuck you too then." the words came out of her lips quietly, though they expressed what she felt more than loudly.
walking in, the hand near her chest clutched tightly at the fabric.
shit. this was bad.
it felt like butterflies were swarming around in her stomach. and her heart acted as their wings—fluttering; fleeting. it felt as if her cheeks were starting to bloom into the rosy hue of flowers they'd latch onto.
as hard as she tried to forget about it, to forget about kohane—she couldn't this time. just like last time.
though she'd never admit it. she wouldn't dare.
an would look at kohane's back one last time before finally entering the classroom.
"now, what i want to touch on before i hand things over to you guys, is the upcoming project. this is not optional. it's mandatory. and i've," the woman unfroze the projector screen to display a slide full of names. "assigned everybody a partner."
an groaned. her head sunk onto her desk. as much as she loved mrs. hanigan and history, assigned partners made her want to claw at her teacher's face.
"you may get a closer look at the board to see who you're with." mrs. hanigan instructed. before students began to crowd around the board, she called out:
"one last thing! you may not however switch your partner. if i see you complaining, you'll be talking to not only me but also the partner i've chosen for you. that's all i'll say. now find your partner and get a headstart!"
her lively voice boomed throughout the room. it was hard not to be somewhat affected by her energy. an sighed as mizuki and akito approached her table.
"an, come on! let's see who we're with." mizuki excitedly chirped. an felt much better seeing the girl's bright smile.
as she got up, she couldn't help but notice kohane leisurely walking towards the board. she then scolded herself internally for paying the blonde any sort of attention. "oh, yeah, alright—okay! let's go."
the three of them got through the hurdle of students surrounded by the projector. the whole time, an could hear and see classmates that were disappointed they didn't get paired up with her or their friends, she smiled to herself. it felt good not having to reject her classsmates one-by-one.
"hmm... oh. i'm partners with toya." akito noted to himself, though the smile in his voice was evident as ever.
mizuki playfully taunted him while he turned to face toya. "get a load of this guy." an giggled with her as the two of them looked down the list of names.
"have you found yours yet, mizuki?" an asked, eyes continuing to scavenge for their names.
the pink-haired girl shook her head slowly. "not yet... you?"
"no luck here for me either. i'm just praying i don't get paired up with..." her voice trailed off as her eyes landed on the row where her name was typed out.
"hm? with who- an? you good?" mizuki tapped her on the shoulder lightly. only for an to redirect her gaze onto the board where she saw it too.
shiraishi an. partners with azusawa kohane.
an glanced at mizuki. then back at the board to inspect it, ensuring she wasn't misreading anything. and then turned to mizuki once more.
"mizuki. oh. my. god." her hands tightly grasped onto the girl's shoulders. "holy shit. no way in hell did mrs. hanigan betray me like this."
mizuki let out a comical gulp, telling an with hand gestures to look in a certain direction. "an. you can't make a fuss about this. remember?" her hand clasped over the other girl's, "i wish i could help you with this one. like deadass. but we can't switch partners. i'm really sorry."
"no, it's okay, not your fault. just... fuck, i wasn't mentally prepared for this. oh my god." the words left her in a flood, one coming after the other.
her jaw tightened, drawing in breath before losing her cool. "okay. no, i'll make this work. don't worry about me. find your partner, yeah?"
the uncertainty in mizuki's eyes hurt to see. "are you sure? should we try to-"
an's finger pressed against her lips before she could utter another word. she softly smiled, "this'll make the plan easier to follow through. i'll get through this. no biggie."
silence cradled the two before mizuki caved in. "fine, but if something happens, let me and li'l bro know all about it before anything, okay?"
"yeah, 'course!" an gave her a playful wink.
the two parted ways, an rolling her eyes before trying to look for kohane. never in her life would she have thought she'd actually try to look for the school campus' princess.
"shiraishi. i'm here." the blonde demurred. though her voice sounded oddly louder than everyone else's to an.
"oh. cool, hi to you too princess. think you could be a little quieter when—" an's words were abruptly cut off when she turned around to face kohane.
it only struck to her now that kohane's voice being close-sounding wasn't her raising her voice, but rather that she was close to an. and realizing that, the two were definitely too close to say the least. close as in an could get a good look at her. for the first time ever. which was already a huge red flag. distance required. stat.
"i'm not here to argue for unnecessary matters. this is required." she flatly stated. thanks for repeating the directions she literally just went over, an wanted to say, but refrained from so. "i'll do my part, you'll do yours. clear?"
"yeah." the raven-haired dryly replied.
"okay." kohane said in follow-up. each word that came out of her sounded like the ending of a sentence. an was about to head off until kohane continued, "do you know what the subject's even about?"
"seriously? of course i do. we're basing our projects off of ancient civilizations."
"okay. which one? specifically."
an was at a brief pause. she didn't even mention it to her, how would she know?
"weren't we supposed to pick with our partners? you didn't even bother to ask me." she quickly retorted, crossing her arms.
kohane's maintained composure didn't even react to her sass but rather grew even more stoic. "that's what i'm asking you."
an's eyes narrowed. "you sound more like you're questioning me instead of asking me."
"can you not? i told you: i'm not here to argue. i don't plan on doing so unless you really haven't changed at all."
those words hit her harder than she thought they would. she could feel her nails etching crescents into her skin. whatever. no use in arguing.
"good. now are you gonna choose one?" her monotone voice asked once more.
"okay, what the fuck? first. don't 'good' me." the red-streaked girl's shoulders tensed. "second. i don't know—how about you surprise me princess."
an could see a slight crease between kohane's eyebrows. "how about you stop calling me that. fair trade." before she was met with the familiar sight of kohane's back.
she stuck her tongue out seeing the girl discuss with mrs. hanigan. she already despised being forced to work with her. this was awful. an thought it was equivalent to medieval torturing methods if not worse.
eventually, kohane came back with a paper and rubric in her hand. she glanced at the floor, at the ceiling, everywhere besides an.
"we're doing ancient greece. aoyagi's group took it first, but we concluded with a compromise. i negotiated with them." a slight smile appeared on her face which was rare.
and strangely, an found herself unable to quit looking. her mind refused to detach from the image.
"ancient greece? woah, you really managed to steal it from akito and toya?" an fought back a chuckle imagining the look on akito's face.
the smile remained on kohane's face. it was dumb how an couldn't stop staring at it. the corners of her eyes crinkled as she spoke, "as surprising as it comes off, yeah. it was quite simple actually. anything and everything is worth it for ancient greece." she rambled deadpanned.
an was trying her best not to giggle at the girl's ridiculous sentence. "is absolutely not but sure."
"is."
"not."
"okay. list five things you know about ancient greece." kohane's lips pursed.
an cocked her head to the side. "what is this? five songs i know from nirvana but replaced with ancient greece?"
"that's not five things about ancient greece."
"you want me to actually guess?" the blonde nodded to which an groaned. "ugh. well. i don't know- greek yogurt?"
"...pardon?" her voice seemed to express genuine emotion rather than come off as the usual flat tone an was expecting.
"what? greek yogurt. it's an actual guess." though she didn't speak about it openly, she noticed kohane's voice. noticed the way how her pitch slightly rose at the end, and how her lips curled into a small, barely noticeable smile.
"shiraishi," she said her name. but this time was different. it wasn't in the usual polite tone she'd use for her composed surface. not in a serious way either. but just—right. right in a way that was frustratingly hard to describe. because she didn't want it to sound right to her, yet it did against all odds.
kohane set the paper down on a nearby desk as her smile grew. "actually, greek yogurt doesn't even originate from greece."
an could've sworn her jaw dropped. "what? but greek is literally in the name!" she flailed her hands around. "you're telling me i spent all my life until now convinced greek yogurt came from gree—"
the words came to a pause when the sound of her soft laughter filled an's ears.
her eyes when she smiled; laughed, giggled—when she was genuinely happy, sent an at a loss for words.
that was the first time she saw kohane express emotion. not out of force, not due to an act, but purely natural. and it was because of her. of an.
her heart raced. the butterflies surrounded her again. curse this damned project. no, curse kohane—no. curse mrs. hanigan—actually. curse all three of them. an screamed internally.
it only lasted for about a few seconds before kohane returned to herself. well-composed, stern, and stoic. she was reading the objectives written on the rubric sheet, but an tuned out the words.
***
"—that's about it to get a proficient grade."
an was playing with her hair, curling it around her finger. "'kay. thanks princess."
the two were shelled in an awkward bubble of silence again. the convivial atmosphere from earlier completely gone. like a distant memory.
kohane stared at her as she was distracted. just as she was about to say something next, the bell rung.
"an!" the red-streaked girl turned to see her friends approaching her. she waved excitedly towards them, smiling like usual.
for a split second, she turned in kohane's direction out of curiosity. she thought she was still beside her. only to be proven dead wrong as she saw the girl walking towards her desk to gather her belongings. her friends surrounded her desk, and an watched her talk to them.
right. she wasn't one of an's friends. why did she even bother to see if she'd stay beside her?
her eyes quickly pulled away from the sight. an. get your shit together. she told herself. she's done enough staring at kohane for her lifetime. none of this meant anything. not to kohane and definitely not to her.
after all, this was completely nothing. this was just a project with assigned partners and an was unlucky as shit. their eyes meeting not once, but twice? pure accident. and the butterflies that were lingering inside an? they weren't real nor everlasting.
kohane was just a game. somebody for an to mess with. the girl she hates more than anybody else. the girl who hates her.
that's how things were meant to be.
for she's not an ordinary classmate, not an acquaintance, not a friend, and most certainly: not a crush. never will turn into one.
kohane was her enemy; an was kohane's enemy—they were each other's enemy.
and they'll stay that way.
coming home, an headed towards her room with a heavy sigh. her head ached, vision fading in and out every few seconds. worst of all, her heartbeat rung in her head like it was trying to alert her of something she clearly didn't want to hear.
vivi, her cat, was grooming herself until she perked up hearing an's footsteps. she purred and looked intently at the door—watching the doorknob twist with haste until an came into view. "oh- vivi!" she gasped, eyes softening. an held out her arms, kneeling on her carpet flooring, reserving the space between her arms for her beloved vivi. "come here you little cutie."
the silver-furred cat nuzzled affectionately against one of an's fingers, purring all the while.
an smiled. not in a crazy, manic, or over-the-top way, but in a way that the corners of her lips rose slightly. "i missed you," the words left her lips naturally. "today was ass. i hated it." she quietly murmured. vivi purred while clumsily reaching for an's hand with her paws. she giggled, fingers gently scratching the kitten's chin.
"you wanna know what happened today?" the raven-haired girl asked. it wasn't like her cat knew and understood human language and could actually respond back, but she didn't care. she continued petting vivi. "i saw kohane—" vivi paused leaning into an's touch and meowed. "i know. but i saw her. and we," an stuttered, "we just... looked at each other. and it was crazy as hell to me because- can i tell you something, vivi?"
vivi's paws took ahold of an's fingers and bit down playfully, not actually hurting, making an giggle.
the smile on her face stayed; stayed until her lips parted. and the look in her eyes softened, "vivi, that was the first time i got a good look at her eyes."
her sentence left her silent for a few seconds. like she was in disbelief that she even said that. that she could possibly say the words, "i got a good look at her eyes" in a way that doesn't sound like she wants kohane dead; didn't hate looking into her eyes.
yet the words didn't feel wrong coming from her mouth. it felt strangely natural. for her to come home after a long day of school, ramble to vivi, except this time she was ranting about a girl: kohane.
vivi's purrs broke the silence, bringing an back to reality each time she meowed. the silver tabby licked the red-streaked girl's fingers. "and also the first time that, i... saw her laugh. smile. for myself."
warmth enveloped her cheeks, spreading across her face. "it was because of me. she's, oddly into ancient greece—oh, did i tell you about that yet sweet baby?"
for the rest of dusk, an would find comfort in vivi's presence and talking to her.
when twilight came, an did her daily nightly routine before tucking herself comfortably in the cozy sheets of her bed.
opening her notes app, she clenched her jaw, fingers hesitating for a moment before typing out:
' i didn't realize before how light of a brown your eyes were. i kind of | '
backspace.
' i didn't realize before how light of a brown your eyes were. i hate| '
her fingers paused, just stilling by the sides of her phone. then, seconds later, started tapping again.
' i didn't realize before how light of a brown your eyes were. i hate that i noticed.
i can't tell which i hate more. noticing your eyes or noticing you first. '
her jaw was clenched even tighter, her brows furrowing. she saw it in her phone's reflection. saw what kohane was doing to her.
' fuck you kohane| '
then backspaced again. because an, knowing herself, would rather erase her name as a pathetic attempt to forget about her. ultimately, it'd fail. she knew. always had known deep down.
but it was better than saying her name and letting it linger bitterly.
so, she closed the app after one final read-over, and turned her phone off. the candles in her room being the only light source; cozy, dim, and comfortable. she should close her eyes and sleep now.
amidst her head arguing with her heart to just let everything go, to think about it another time, to drop it even—words of enormity left her mouth:
"do you hate me like i hate you?"