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When Chase and Ryan are both in their six-year-old headspaces, it can be a bit overwhelming for everyone around. They get antsy if left to their own devices, often resulting in little squabbles over toys or games. Neither of the boys is good at sharing, especially when a toy belongs specifically to one of them, but they both like playing with it. Their tussles can sometimes be rectified without outside mediation, but often a caregiver or big brother has to step in and help the two compromise.
If these little spats only affected Chase and Ryan, their caregivers would probably be a lot less strict when responding to them. But often, their brothers get caught in the crossfire of these arguments, whether physically or verbally. There have been many times that Austin has tried to help mediate only to get called a “stupid-head” or some other equally elementary insult. Of course, name-calling is a big no-no in their family, so the boys never get away with it, but once it’s said, even an apology can only soothe the burn, not take the words back. And when Chase and Ryan roughhouse, rolling around on the floor while they yell and whoop, Austin just has to duck and hope their flailing arms won’t hit him.
Chase and Ryan do their best to keep their regressor tussles contained. They don’t want to hurt their brothers—they don’t even want to hurt each other, not really. But sometimes emotions overflow, and when you’re six years old, that overflow tends to manifest physically. When Austin and Alex were their only brothers, it was less of a worry, because both of them regressed old enough to understand that the tussles weren’t about them, even if they were targeted by stray frustration in the moment.
With Carson, it’s different. He’s a baby when he’s regressed; he’s a toddler. There’s no way to tell him that Chase and Ryan’s arguments have nothing to do with him. All he knows is that his older brothers are upset and loud and angry, and he can’t fix it.
1.
The first time Chase and Ryan realize how their fights affect Carson, they’re fighting about whose turn it is to play as the Lightning McQueen Hot Wheels car. Chase runs into the living area of his bus, holding the toy over his head as Ryan stomps after him.
Carson is sitting on the floor, quietly suckling a pacifier as he stacks his silicone blocks, absorbed completely in his little game. The moment his brothers burst into his space, he startles, knocking his tower over and bursting into tears, his pacifier falling out of his mouth as he flinches away from the loud stomping of his brothers. Chase and Ryan both freeze, turning to look at their baby brother in horror as he bawls, hand crumpling one of his blocks in a tight fist as if trying to self soothe.
Alex leaps up from the kitchen table where he’s been drafting emails, crouching next to Carson while making shushing noises in an attempt to calm the boy down. Carson unsteadily climbs into Alex’s lap, sniffling as he shoves his pacifier back into his mouth. He tucks his face into Alex’s chest and regains his composure, wiping his tears with uncoordinated fists.
“You boys need to pay attention to your surroundings. You almost ran over your brother!” Chase and Ryan both blush at Alex’s rebuke, mumbling apologies to Carson.
“Scared me,” comes Carson’s voice, small and stilted. “T’ought you were gonna stomp me.”
Chase’s eyebrows knit together as he frowns. “I’m really sorry, Carson. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ll be more careful, ‘kay?” Carson acknowledges Chase’s apology with a nod and tentative smile, turning slightly in Alex’s lap so that his brothers can see his face.
“I fo’give you,” he murmurs. Chase and Ryan both look relieved. When Alex nods for them to continue playing, they retreat to a corner to quietly play through the plot of Cars, silently agreeing to remain quiet and calm while Carson is in the room with them.
2.
Race weekends are hectic, and oftentimes, all the boys end up crashing rather inelegantly into littlespace after the races are done. They spend time recovering, soaking up the time in littlespace, and then bounce back for Monday morning meetings. These late night hangouts are chaotic even when everyone is tired, because the brothers tend to get adrenaline rushes when they are around each other—and Chase and Ryan often become even crazier when they are sleep-deprived. It’s a crazy cycle, often resulting in frazzled caregivers and snoring littles, but they all love it anyway. There’s nothing better than spending time with the people who are your safe space.
The thing is, when the caregivers are stretched thin with five regressors all wanting attention, things slip through the cracks sometimes, especially when some of them don’t have a personal caregiver. (It’s just Carson who doesn’t have a caregiver, but of all the boys to need one, he’s probably at the top of the list). Carson isn’t supposed to get left alone while in babyspace, but every once in a while it happens. Usually, someone notices and rectifies the situation before anything can happen.
All the caregivers are wrapped up in other tasks when it happens. Bubba is trying to force Chase into pajamas, Gianna is helping Ryan get a popsicle from the freezer, and Joey is cuddling with Austin while the younger man info dumps about horseshoe crabs. This leaves Carson alone in the living area of the bus, a few toys abandoned next to him as he crawls over to Chase’s toy bin. It’s partially open, a few plastic soldiers wedged into the gap between the lid and the bin. Carson grabs one and, as babies are wont to do, promptly sticks it into his mouth.
The toy soldier isn’t a major choking hazard; it’s big enough that if Carson did almost swallow it, he’d probably be able to pull it right back out, but in babyspace, he doesn’t have the same reflexes. Life-saving instincts don’t come as naturally to him as they do when he’s not regressed. His brothers know this, accustomed to looking out for their baby brother when he’s small, knowing he can’t always do it himself.
That’s why, when he walks into the living area and sees Carson sticking a plastic soldier in his mouth, Chase panics. “Carson! Get that out of your mouth right now!” He bolts towards Carson, who quickly flings the toy soldier away from himself and starts crying. Bubba is a few steps behind Chase, his view of Carson blocked by his little.
“William Clyde Elliott! Why are you yelling at your brother?” The stern reprimand in Bubba’s voice does not discourage Chase from crossing his arms and saying,
“He had one of my army guys in his mouth!” Bubba seems flabbergasted by Chase’s strong reaction, still unsure why this is such a big deal.
“And is that an excuse to yell? Aren’t we working on sharing your toys?”
Chase realizes that Bubba doesn’t understand the severity of the situation, grabbing the toy Carson threw and shoving it at his caregiver. “I had to yell to get him to stop! It was one of my tiny army guys. He could choke! I didn’t want him to get hurt!” He looks back at Carson, who is still crying, now wrapped up in Ryan’s arms. Gianna is holding Ryan’s half-eaten popsicle, unfazed at the blue liquid dripping onto her hand.
Bubba takes the soldier from Chase’s hand, studying it carefully before placing a comforting hand on Chase’s shoulder. “You’re right, Chase. This is pretty dangerous and small for Carson to be chewing on. I understand why you felt the need to get his attention and stop him.” An expression of relief blooms on Chase’s face as he gladly accepts Bubba’s offered hug, burying his face in Bubba’s hair.
It takes a few more minutes to calm Carson down all the way and make it clear that no one is mad at him, but once he’s settled down, he spends the rest of the night clinging to Chase, pacifier firmly clamped between his lips in hopes that it will stop any other small toys from making their way into his mouth.
3.
Chase and Ryan love pranking their brothers. Whether it’s jumpscaring them or sending them on wild goose chases, their love for mischief tends to manifest in the way they show their affection for their brothers. Austin finds it annoying, but he always plays along—he understands that the pranks are a way to say I love you when it feels like the words are too scary to say aloud. Alex always laughs when they prank him, his goodnatured, big brother attitude the perfect target for their jokes. They’re so used to Austin and Alex’s reactions to their pranks that it doesn’t dawn on them that Carson might react differently.
It’s not just the fact that Carson regresses so much younger, though that’s definitely part of it. It’s also the fact that Carson is the newest addition to their family, and much more liable to feel left out or alienated if their intentions are misunderstood. But the boys are too caught up in their prank-planning to understand the implications of the pranks themselves.
When they jump out from behind a doorway in plastic werewolf masks and shout “Boo!” at a happily crawling Carson, they don’t expect him to jolt so badly he loses his balance and hits his head on the way down. They freeze the moment they hear the thunk of a skull against the laminate flooring, the room deadly silent for a breath (inhale, exhale) before Carson's face screws up and he starts wailing loudly.
Footsteps come pounding down the hallway as Alex pushes past Ryan and Chase to gather Carson into his arms, the two pranksters frozen with guilt at the havoc they’d just caused. Alex looks up at them with a glare,
“What were you two thinking? Jumpscaring the baby, really? We want Carson to feel safe with us, not constantly on edge because he might get pranked at any moment! It’s different with me, the youngest I get is ten! But the baby? Really, boys?” Chase and Ryan don’t even try to argue. They know he’s right. Looking back at their plan now, it’s clear to both of them how dumb it was to prank their baby brother. Alex sighs, “I need to get ice on this one’s head; I see a goose egg starting. You two need to do some thinking. Fifteen minutes in time-out, okay? Pick different corners. You can sit down if you want, but no playing and no talking.”
Neither boy argues as they trudge to different corners in the living room, knowing that as far as punishments go, this one was quite mild. If their caregivers were here, it might have been harsher. Alex hefts Carson into his arms and carries him to the kitchen, the younger man sniffling as he buries his face deeper into Alex’s chest. Alex grabs an ice pack from the freezer, wrapping it in a paper towel before maneuvering to the couch. He settles into the cushions with Carson sprawled across his lap, sucking his thumb intensely as if trying to soothe the pain in his head. Alex gently rests the ice pack against the bruise forming above Carson’s left temple, hoping to stop the swelling before it gets bad enough to affect the fit of his helmet.
When Chase and Ryan’s fifteen minutes of time-out finish, Carson is blinking slowly, eyes heavy with exhaustion, but he’s still awake enough to accept their apologies by kissing them both on the cheek, mumbling “fo’give you” quietly. Alex is pleased to see that there’s only a small bump on Carson’s head, and Chase and Ryan both look relieved at this, too. It takes both of them a few hours to let go of their guilt, convinced they’d hurt Carson, but with enough gentle reminders from Alex, they both accept that it was an accident—one that they will make sure not to repeat.
+1.
There’s been enough instances where Ryan and Chase have scared Carson that Alex figures Carson probably deserves a chance at giving them a taste of their own medicine. Sure, some of them were accidents, but even if that’s the price you pay for having rowdy brothers, Alex is sure that Carson would find it hilarious—and he’s absolutely certain it would make Chase and Ryan’s days, too.
He explains his plan to Carson one day when they’re all planning on hanging out, Chase and Ryan set to arrive at Alex’s bus later that afternoon. Carson isn’t in babyspace today; rather, he’s about six, and Alex knows that it’s the perfect age for the prank he has planned. He also happens to know that Ryan and Chase aren’t regressed, which means they’ll definitely take the prank well and think it’s the cutest thing in the world. (He can’t wait to see Carson “getting his revenge” on the boys; it’s going to be absolutely adorable).
Carson eagerly agrees when he hears Alex’s plan, cackling so hard at Alex’s overdramatic explanation that he chokes on his own saliva. After fetching his baby brother a glass of water, Alex continues explaining his plan, but tones down the dramatics a bit, just in case.
When Chase and Ryan arrive, one of them knocking on Alex’s bus door, Alex motions for Carson to hide behind him. He opens the door to an unsuspecting Chase and Ryan, and before they can come inside, yells, “Attack!”
Carson leaps out from behind him, Super Soaker brandished as he sprays his brothers while cackling hysterically. Alex nails Ryan in the face with his own water gun, chuckling at Carson’s absolutely gleeful expression as they soak Chase and Ryan.
Chase and Ryan both seem to catch onto Alex’s plan without him having to explain, playing up their reactions with loud wounded cries and dramatic yells of “I’ve been hit!” Alex smiles gratefully at Chase when they make eye contact as Chase overexaggerates his “death,” falling to the ground with a mournful sigh. “You got me, Carson,” he shakes his head with a wry grin.
Ryan nods from his own spot sprawled on the ground, “You got both of us good.”
Carson thinks this is the funniest thing ever, exclaiming, “I got you guys back! I got my revenge!”
“You sure did, bud,” Alex grins, high-fiving his baby brother as Carson shoots the last of his Super Soaker’s water onto a resigned Chase.
It’s not just Carson’s mood that’s elevated for the rest of the day. Alex, Chase, and Ryan are all feeling the effects of Carson’s joy, their little hangout boosted by their baby brother’s good mood.
It’s the exact feeling the brothers want to foster in their family—safety, belonging, and a zest for life that threads through every little moment they share, no matter how small.
The feeling of knowing you’re exactly where you belong.