Work Text:
Like the sunshine…
A boy– a teenager– sits at the back of the classroom near the windows. His chin resting on his palm looked uninterested in everything. But under his eyes hidden beneath his long bangs were looking, or rather, staring at someone with dust of pink on his cheeks.
Totomaru Isshiki.
A well known socialist in their classroom. Friends with everyone, treats everyone fairly. The epitome of kindness and balance. His smile brightens everyone around him as he talks to his friends surrounding him. His voice lingering through the air reaching Ron's ears.
He's so cute today as well. Ron thought, his heart pumping against the muscles of his chest. It might take a little short while until he gets a heart attack.
Ron Kamonohashi.
A well known anti-social student in their classroom if not in the entire school. Although he excels in all of his studies and subjects to sports and extracurricular activities– no one tries to socialize with him. Though he knows the reason. He might be too intimidating to them, and he has a crappy personality.
Except for one person.
“Crap! I forgot my homework!”
“Hahahaha! The next period is our math right? Finish it now, bro.”
Totomaru hurried to take his notebook and pen from his bag, and began to write furiously in his notebook. Ron looked at the clock. 6 minutes left. Should he help?
The students around Totomaru left him alone, saying their good luck as Totomaru smiled at them with light annoyance from their laughter. His luscious brown hair was messed up as he cracked his brain to answer.
A finger entered Totomaru’s vision pointing at an equation, “This is wrong.” It was a cold voice. Totomaru looked up and saw Ron looking down at him, almost strictly.
“Ah.. Kamonohashi-kun…”
He didn't receive an answer as Ron continues to point at his mistake. Totomaru broke from the stare and erased the equation he made, “Ri-Right. Thank you… Hahaha… I'm too dumb for ma-”
“X should be placed here.” Ron's finger moved again, giving him directions. Totomaru inhaled and looked at Ron who leaned to his level as he started to explain how to solve the math, shocked that the other was teaching him.
“Kamonohashi-kun…”
Ron stopped his explanation and glanced up to meet innocent pretty grey eyes that almost took his heart out, “You're… explaining too fast…” Totomaru smiled sheepishly.
“Oh, Kamonohashi is teaching Isshiki-kun math?!”
“That's so interesting!”
“Wait, I'm having problems with this problem too.”
“What was the answer?”
Students slowly crowded Totomaru’s table, “What-” His eyes searched for Ron but the boy already disappeared in front of him, “Huh-!”
Away from the crowd that slowly drowns Totomaru.
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. He was so beautiful. He was too close. Too close!! I only meant to point out a mistake to help him out and walk away but he looked so goddamn cute. His eyes looked so sad I ended up helping him to solve the question. Ron slumped on his own seat, hiding around his arms. Heat creeping to his face and his body warming as his heart beats faster than a roaster running for a race. Remembering Totomaru’s eyes looking at him. He was too cute!!
For the rest of the day, Ron has to make sure his heart wouldn't explode at the sight of the brunette.
~~~
I have kyūdō practice after class. Ron thought as he looked at the teacher leaving the classroom and his classmates chattering about where to go.
Blue eyes glanced at Totomaru who is surrounded by friends asking him to join them to a karaoke. He stared a little longer than he intended to. Taking a breath like it's fresh air as if finding courage to do his best on his practice.
Deciding it's time, Ron stood up, took his bag and left the classroom to his club.
Klung!
That sounded ugly. Ron internally grimaces. He took another bow and aimed.
Shoo!
It hit the center. As expected of Ron Kamonohashi. He smiled with satisfaction and lowered his bow. Feeling the sweat on his skin, it was uncomfortable. One of the things that Ron hates is sweating. I wanna go shower.
He put back the bow on the rack and went to his bag. He blindly searched for something inside until it was not there, “Huh? My handkerchief…”
“Are you searching for this?”
Ron flinched and turned back in lighting fast to see the sun– Totomaru behind him with a smile. His sky blue handkerchief on his hand, “You just flinched didn't you…” Totomaru whispered.
“I-Isshiki-san…” Damn it. He stuttered. Way to go, Ron Kamonohashi.
Totomaru tilted his head in confusion, “‘Isshiki-san?’” then smiled, “Hahahaha I didn't know Kamonohashi-kun can be polite.”
He's laughing! Calm down, Ron Kamonohashi. Calm down! Ron internally held his heart. Being this close to Totomaru, standing in front of him, having a conversation all alone was his dream but this is killing him. He was so thankful he had his hair grow to his cheek, nobody will notice how his face is burning.
“Kamonohashi-kun?”
“Yeah?”
“Your handkerchief…”
“... Thank you.” Should we talk about how Ron's fingers are trembling as he reaches? Yes. Ron's fingers trembled as he reached for the handkerchief sitting innocently on top of Totomaru’s palm.
Damn it. His sweat feels like a stream of water on his neck to his back. Isshiki-san’s hand… Isshiki-san’s skin… Ron gulped as he picked up the top of the handkerchief, carefully not making any skin contact with Totomaru.
He might die on the spot.
Then he heard a giggle. Ron clutched on the handkerchief and looked at Totomaru’s bright expression, breathing it in, memorizing it in every corner of his mind.
“Kamonohashi-kun, you're so weird.”
“H-Huh?”
Grey eyes sparkled at him, “Everyone talks about how cool you are but whenever I talk to you, you always have an awkward posture.”
Oh my goodness gracious… Oh my god… Isshiki-san… Isshiki-san… He's looking at me!!!! He was noticing me!!! Ron felt his head on the atmosphere, floating into nothing.
“I have a place to be now. So I'll see you tomorrow, Kamonohashi-kun.” Totomaru waved at him and left the dojo.
Ron stood there, clutching on the handkerchief to his heart. He already left… A little disappointment boiled inside his heart before he turned off the heat inside his body.
Awkward huh…
Blue eyes looked at the wrinkled handkerchief. Ron stared at it for a little while before bringing it to his face, sniffing the scent. There wasn't really, only his detergent. But the thought of Totomaru holding it makes his brain go insane.
He will not wash this handkerchief ever again.
To be damn with his sweat.
~~~
It was his second year in high school when Ron transferred to this high school in Japan. He and his mother originally lived in England but because of his mother's job that assigned her in Japan, they moved to this country.
The first day of his second year was the first time Ron saw Totomaru, and was his love at first sight.
“Excuse me.” Ron never intended to be friends with anyone nor be in any contact. They sure will be moving away anyways when his mother's job is done here. And he doesn't like being social, he believes it's just a waste of time befriending with anyone below his level.
For some reason, there was the warmth of the sun lingering behind Ron's back. He turned his head around and saw Totomaru Isshiki.
A member of the student council. A diligent student with determination and balance in life. His brown hair gives you the impression of his bright and cheerful personality. His grey eyes which holds trust– almost naive and pure left an impression on Ron.
“Your student ID. You dropped it.”
He was holding onto his clipboard. He was smiling in a friendly and welcoming manner. But for Ron, it was bright and warm, “Uhm?” He gave Ron a questioning smile.
Ron absentmindedly took his ID, “Thank you.”
“You're welcome. Be careful.” Totomaru gave him another smile. But this time, it felt like flowers were blooming around him.
A true definition of spring.
That was Ron's first interaction with Totomaru Isshiki.
He was so cute… and he's becoming even cuter… Ron thought as he hugs his pillow, laying on his bed staring at the handkerchief Totomaru returned.
Ron groaned against his pillow. I want to see him smile again. He stayed like that for a little while before laying his cheeks on the pillow, eyes looking so far away with yearning, “I want to see him already…”
Ron groaned loudly again, burying his face on the pillow. Why am I acting like a high school girl in love!!? Maybe because he is? Just a boy actually in high school.
“Ron! I can hear you having a midlife crisis. Come down stairs and have dinner already!”
The teenage boy got up and did as he was told.
His mother– Romi– is waiting for him already at the dining table, “So what's the problem of a teenage boy?”
“Nothing, mom.” Ron sat on the opposite side and happily started his dinner, his mom did the same.
“You know… it's that time like you know… high school love or something.” His mother chuckled.
“It's not.”
Romi hummed, “Ron, you really need to start socializing. I don't want you to grow old alone.”
“Is that even important?”
“Of course it is! One day, you'll get lonely in life. I know you can handle yourself and that you prefer being alone, but one day, you'll get lonely… It really brings happiness when you have someone by your side.” Her voice softened at the end.
Ron heard her, but didn't reply; ot wanting to hear another story of her mother and father. He looked at his dinner, thinking of it. He does want to be alone in life. He already decided on what to dedicate his entire life to.
“Kamonohashi-kun.”
Heat raised onto Ron's face before he shook his head, eating his food faster. Of course this didn't miss the sharp eyes his mother has, “Oh ho…”
“Mom, shut up.”
“At least introduce her to me, Ron!”
“Her?”
“Eh?”
Silence.
“Oh…”
They ate their dinner in silence after that with unsaid understanding and support from his mother.
~~~
To say that Ron Kamonohashi is shy would be the biggest lie. This man has the confidence and ego of an adult elephant. He knows who he is and he knows his worth, and he absolutely knows what he can do and his abilities. He can insult you and he can actually back it up that you can only believe everything he says about yourself.
He always ace his exams, even if it's just a small one. He always answers on the board. The teachers likes him but some of them doesn't really like him because of his attitude. The same goes for the students. Some are envious of him, some are amazed, some are intimated. Ron doesn't care.
Ron isn't shy at all and he doesn't care what people around him say.
Except for one person.
Ron isn't scared or shy to talk to Totomaru. It's exactly the opposite. He wants to talk to him, he wants to be at his presence, he wants to be blessed by his smile. He isn't scared of Totomaru. He is scared of how Totomaru affects him.
Growing up with little emotions, Ron is foreign to the feeling of love which he now knows he is feeling towards Totomaru.
He easily gets flustered around Totomaru and couldn't speak well, and it's embarrassing for him. He actually confess that he's so pathetic but he will never say that.
“Amazing, Kamonohashi-kun!” That bright smile he wanted to see is in front of him again.
Ron holds an exam paper with a big 100 red above. He aced another test, “100 on another exam.” Totomaru smiled at him, eyes sparkling.
Ron doesn't know when, but Totomaru started to talk to him a lot now after that interaction at the dojo (the handkerchief is inside his drawer and all alone in that drawer). However, he's not complaining.
If any gods heard his desires, he is sending his gratitude. He might even start praying to that god from now on.
“It's really nothing.” He just smiled. Just a little. His usual confident smile.
He's praising me! He's praising me! Please praise me more! He was blowing up inside though. Secretly holding his chest, he inhaled deeply, “What did Isshiki-san got?”
He already knows though. He was staring at him the whole time while the papers were being distributed and caught a glimpse of Totomaru’s paper before it was hidden.
“Ah… Hahahah…” It stabbed Ron. It wasn't Totomaru’s usual laugh, rather a sad and disappointed tone, “I failed…” His eyes didn't met Ron.
“Oh…”
A strained smile, “Well then. I'll be taking my leave…”
No. No. Wait. Don't leave with a smile like that. I'll kill myself. I'm sorry for making you sad.. Isshiki-san.
“Wait!”
Totomaru inhaled sharply as a warm firm hand gripped around his sleeves, “Huh? Kamonohashi-kun?” Confusion swirled inside his head looking at Ron who suddenly touched him.
His hand is quivering. Nervous? Totomaru thought as he tilted his head to the other side, “I…”
Totomaru waited for him. He looks so hesitant. His mouth opened then closed. Totomaru patiently smiled. Ron stared at him before finally talking,
“If you want… I can tutor you…”
Ohmygod I just touched him! I touched his sleeve! I touched him! This man will soon explode if he touches Totomaru longer but his fingers won't budge.
There was an unexpected silence between them before Totomaru smiled and clapped his hands together making Ron’s hand unclasped on his sleeve, “Really???” His eyes sparkled at the offer. He's really thankful that Ron will teach him. Because he really needs it.
Ron nodded, sweat dripping from the back of his neck. He kind of regretted suggesting that because his heart was about to explode and also from touching Totomaru but seeing Totomaru’s smile, he gave up. He can do it. It's not like he will explode or die, right?
“Thank you, Kamonohashi-kun!”
Oh how wrong he is.
The next weekend, Totomaru and Ron decided to meet at their local library. Ron actually likes going to this library because there is a cubicle for people who want to study in silence and alone.
And that is also his cause of death right now.
All alone! Ron gripped the book in his hand. Someone help the book, it's going to die soon.
Totomaru sat in front of him writing in his own notebook. Ron didn't need to write his notes, he already had all of it inside his head… or maybe. Maybe he needs to review again later.
Because all inside his head now is that Totomaru is in front of him, all alone together. He, Ron Kamonohashi, has all of Totomaru Isshiki’s attention and his presence blessing him all day.
Ron really needs to know the god who heard his prayers. He'll be a devotee from now on. Thank you. He prayed to no one.
“Kamonohashi-kun, how do you solve this?”
He can pray all he wants later, but right now, his beloved Totomaru needs his help and Ron will gladly give his everything if Totomaru asks to.
Isn't this too close…
There is only a small table between them, just enough for their notebooks, books, and pen.
Ron glanced at his side and saw how close his arm above the table is to Totomaru’s own arm. Just an inch and he will be able to touch Totomaru’s elbow.
The library is air conditioned yet Ron can feel the sweat on his back forming. Too close. He looked forward and met Totomaru's fluffy brown hair. The light from the window just hits it right making it somehow glowing.
Then grey eyes looked up at him.
Skreetch!!
“Kamonohashi-kun?!”
Totomaru worriedly whisper-yelled as Ron backed to the wall with his chair, “A-Are you okay..?” His expression worried, “Uhm… Am I too close?”
Ron clutched on his chest, feeling his heart almost bursting when Totomaru suddenly attacked him with those eyes. Too close! Too much!
“You look red… Are you okay…? Is it too hot?” Totomaru stood from his own seat, planning to go out of the cubicle, “I'll ask the librarian to-”
“I-It's fine… Isshiki-san…” Ron exhaled, “I'm fine..” His eyes twirls as he try to calm himself.
Though the worry on Totomaru’s face didn't cease, he went back to his seat. Ron also came back to his own place, calming himself.
Totomaru looked at Ron, “I'm sorry for making you tutor me, Kamonohashi-kun… I know you don't like being near people.”
Just you! Just you! Ron thought, “It's fine, Isshiki-san. I'm the one who suggested it.” He smiled to himself. I wanted to spend time with you too.
Totomaru stared at Ron's soft expression, his eyes creating a sheet of reflection before looking down pursing his lips, “I really appreciate it, Kamonohashi-kun.” Then raised his head, smiling brighter than before, “I'm going to try my best and score high on my exams!”
~~~
“Exams are near so I will give this period for you to study your materials! So, good luck, everyone.” The teacher smiled as the students cheered.
Ron looked around and got a little irritated by the bees buzzing around him and stood from his seat. Remembering his class schedule, he has at least 3 and a half hours of free time including lunch time.
Blue eyes glanced at Totomaru a little longer before leaving the classroom, not seeing Totomaru turning to his direction watching his back leave.
First World… Second World… Third World… Ron scribbled on his notebook, sitting on the corner of the library where no one is really staying. A packet of a known brown sugar syrup on his lips.
“Wowza… So even Kamonohashi-kun studies.”
Ron's hair stood as he felt warmth on his back, “I-I-Isshiki-san!?” He turned around to see grey eyes looking at him with happiness, “Kamonohashi-kun is really studious.”
Ron felt heat go above his head, “Wh-What… Why are you here..?” His eyes looked around, not really daring to look at those shining and innocent interested eyes.
He heard Totomaru’s melodic giggles as the chair beside him scratched the floor. Totomaru sat beside, body facing him, “I saw you going somewhere so I got interested.”
Interested!?
The packet of brown sugar syrup was all forgotten now on the table it fell on.
Totomaru’s hand rested on the back of Ron's seat as he leaned to Ron, “So what are you studying?” His eyes are practically sparkling.
Ohmygodohmygod too close! Too close! My heart is going to explode! Someone! Isshiki-san is too close! Ron felt his brain short circuit. He felt his body back up yet the scent of vanilla citrus scent seems to be alluring him forward. He felt his heart beats so fast he's so sure Totomaru is hearing it right now.
I'm going to die!
“E-Economics….”
Thankfully, after further staring at Ron, Totomaru finally freed Ron from the torment called being down-bad and love. He opened his own bag and placed his own school supplies on the table, “I'll study with you.”
“Huh?”
“Seeing Kamonohashi-kun study…” Totomaru smiled at him, “It motivated me too.”
If there was an explosion, surely it was not Mt. Fuji.
Huh? Huh? What does that mean?? For someone wanting to be a detective, he sure is dumb.
Ron felt like the time of the world stopped as he felt another human's warmth beside him. He didn't even realize he stopped breathing. Okay was he even breathing all this? Or was he breathing, he just didn't realize it because he was too busy sneaking glances at Totomaru beside him.
He always sits across or 2 rows away from Totomaru. He just realized that the brunette is actually smaller than him… and that he has a broader shoulder than Totomaru. Redness bloomed across Ron's face as he scribbled on his notebook.
He isn't even sure what he is writing anymore. Ron glanced again at Totomaru. His focus expression is so cute. Of course he always thought of that whenever they are together for tutor sessions but from this angle, Totomaru looks so cute.
His cheeks look so round. His dopey eyes reading each word of the material looks so adorable Ron found himself looking at him longer than he thought. Totomaru caught him.
Ron immediately whipped his head to the other side avoiding the curious eyes. Why are you not good at hiding! Ron cursed himself.
More minutes of torture went on. Ron went to the school library because no students came in, meaning he is all alone and can focus but nothing has entered his head the moment Totomaru arrived.
Ron pursed his lips as if searching for any will, praying to any gods for whatever he can't even form words about. All in his mind is how Totomaru is beside him, the warmth of his body surrounding through Ron's skin.
He was so occupied with his thoughts that he didn't even notice Totomaru’s small glances as their chairs got closer.
“Kamonohashi-kun.”
Ron held back a flinch. He looked down and saw Totomaru’s face so close to his own, “Uhm.. I don't really understand this. Can you help me?”
Another explosion.
“Eh? Ah.. Su-Sure…” Though his eyes are practically swirling in the pupils.
Ron questioned how he was able to survive that day.
What just happened today… Ron stood at the gate of the school, staring at the sunset sky. He didn't even remember what happened. His heart felt so full yet his body was so tired, his mind was spinning with things he didn't even studied.
“Kamonohashi-kun.”
“Kamonohashi-kun!”
Ron almost broke his neck turning around to see Totomaru with his bike beside him walking towards him, “I-I-Isshiki-san???” His voice was high, almost a squeak.
“Let's go home together.”
“Eh? But-”
“I realized our way home is the same way. Isn't it fun?”
Seriously?! Ron could literally be yelling right now but he can't, “I-I see…”
Going home together!
“And so like…” Ron listened to Totomaru talking on their way back home. His soft and bright smile blessed Ron's heart as if it was just about to explode earlier or that his body was so drained of energy.
So cute… Ron thought with a smile.
The orange sun highlights Totomaru’s creamy skin as his hair ruffles from the winter air. Every time he talks there are small puffs of white air coming out of his lips, “Grandma said that…”
Despite it being winter, Ron’s cheek sure does feel warm. His blue eyes never left Totomaru's face, hopeless and in love. I wish I could look at him forever.
Ron's heart ached a little.
“Kamonohashi-kun?”
“Mmm?”
They both walk as Totomaru stares at Ron. His lips open and close as Totomaru breathes through them creating a white fog every time.
Ron's eyes lowered and stopped at Totomaru’s lips, soft and pink, “Are you okay?” His eyes flickered up to Totomaru's eyes, innocent and worried.
Heat rushed to Ron's body. The cold of winter is nonexistent anymore, “I… My house is this way so goodbye, Isshiki-san!!”
With that, Ron disappeared leaving a trail of snow storm behind him.
What. Why did I think of kissing him!?! Aggghhhhhhhhhh!!! Ron screamed at the top of his lungs as he ran around the neighborhood.
“He ran away…” Totomaru mumbled.
~~~
To say that Ron is absolutely in heaven during the weekends would be not a lie. Even his mother noticed it but didn't say anything, just cheered in silence for her son. Usually at school, Ron and Totomaru could barely talk to each other but during the weekends, he has Totomaru all to himself.
Am I being selfish? Ron seriously thought.
During their tutor seasons, Ron learned so many things about Totomaru who couldn't keep his thoughts to himself. Ron finds it so endearing whenever Totomaru talks out of nowhere. He's so cute.
And today is one of those days as well,
“This is so hard…” Totomaru groaned as he slumped on the table. Ron gave him a mock exam today, and the boy is reading a detective novel in front of him. In secret, he is actually looking at Totomaru's cute expression under those long bangs.
“Kamonohashi-kun, do you like detective stories?”
Ron is sure Totomaru is creating a distraction for himself. He is strict when it comes to their exams but decided to indulge the brunette this time. Isshiki-san is so cute when he's interested.
“Not really.”
Totomaru hummed. His curious eyes bore onto Ron who held his breath, not sure if he could meet those grey eyes.
“Hey, Kamonohashi-kun. What do you want to be in the future?”
That got Ron's full focus, “... Why do you ask?”
Totomaru chuckled, “Everyone says Kamonohashi-kun is mysterious and cool, I want to know something about you too. I feel like I'm the only person who got this close to you so I want to be a good friend.”
Friend? Oh right… We've been spending time together, like friends. That's what friends are doing right? Friends…
“I feel like Kamonohashi-kun knows everything about me. So I want to know something about you too!”
I don't really know that much, Isshiki-san. I just know you are 17 years old. Your birthday is March 1 (he saw the class record). Your height is 165cm, weight is 55kg (he saw the class record). You live with your grandparents (he overheard). You're an only child (information from Totomaru). You hate math and studying (through observation). You love mandarin oranges (he always looks at Totomaru who eats mandarin oranges at lunch). You like savory food more than sweets (once again, he looks at Totomaru during lunch time). You ride your bike from home to school (observation). You like being surrounded by people but sometimes you feel lonely (through observation). You want to be a police officer (overhead). You hate people who act bad and don't apologize (observation). You watch talk shows and find magic amazing (heard from Totomaru). You like cats (observation). You like detective stories (once saw Totomaru looking at one of the shelves). You prefer spring than winter (heard from Totomaru).
“I will be a detective in the future.”
Totomaru’s eyes shined. Then he smiled, “Kamonohashi-kun is really confident. I want to be a police officer in the future. Like my grandfather.” Totomaru said in a dreamy tone.
“I see.” Ron smiled, “Good luck, Mister Police Officer.”
Totomaru's lips twisted into a pout, “Are you teasing me right now?”
So cute.
“Of course not. I believe you can do it.” Ron isn't lying.
There was silence before Totomaru’s face softened. Blue eyes dilated with a shine, eyes reflecting Totomaru.
“I see. Thank you, Kamonohashi-kun.”
~~~
“He fell asleep…” Ron mumbled, looking at Totomaru who's softly snoring at the table, his mock exam forgotten underneath his arms.
Blue eyes fell on Totomaru’s lips. Ron gulped and shook his head. No. No. No. Pull yourself together, Ron Kamonohashi! Ever since that day, he couldn't stop thinking about it. He feels like a damn panther in the middle of a desert with no water at all whenever he looks at Totomaru's li-
He shook his head again.
Ron looked at the window and saw the sky already turning orange, the snow absorbing the light. Such a warm color. Ron turned to Totomaru again. Should I wake him.. But he looks so cute… He wanted to take a picture but held himself back.
He lifts his hand, planning to wake Totomaru until they halt mid-air. Ron realized something.
He hasn't touched Totomaru all this time at all. And right now, he was planning to wake him up by touching his shoulder. Can he do it? Can he really touch Totomaru? Of course, there was that time when he touched his sleeves. But that was just his sleeves and Ron already felt like his heart was going to explode. His heart began to beat faster.
Ron gulped. Will he be fine? Won't he die? He's already dying whenever Totomaru is close to him. Will he survive touching him?
Ron can feel his body trembling as his arm moves forward, “Isshiki-san…”
“Mmm..”
Ron froze.
His fingers never reached Totomaru.
Sleepy eyes opened and turned to look at him, “... Kamonohashi-kun…”
Ron immediately took his hand back to himself, “I-Isshiki-san… the sun is already setting so…” He really tried not to wiggle out of his seat from embarrassment.
Daze grey eyes stared at Ron.
The poor boy can feel the pressure on his back as he feels another blush race to his face. He didn't even notice Totomaru’s hands rising in the air.
Until a warm touch felt his forehead.
“Kamonohashi-kun… Do you know you have really beautiful blue eyes?”
Blue stared at grey.
“Huh?”
Badum… badum… badum…
Ron snatched his back and books and dashed from their cubicle to the door of the library in a record of 5 seconds leaving Totomaru all alone with no goodbye.
The brunette boy was left in confusion as the warmth of Ron's skin stayed at the tip of his finger. Totomaru froze there for a moment before his palm touched his cheek,
“...... No way…”
Remembering Ron's expression. Flustered and so… so… his eyes.
A faint pink dust of realization appeared on his face.
“.... No way…”
Ohmygodohmygodohmygodwhatwasthat what was that!!? Why why would he touch my forehead like that!? Ron screamed inside his head as he ran aimlessly around the town.
Was he trying to kill me??!
“Do you know you have really blue eyes?”
I know! I know! But was he trying to kill me!? OhmygodohmygodgoddamnitI didn't expect him to do that! He's so innocent of my feelings it's actually going to kill me! Calm down calm down!!!!
Ron stopped somewhere and placed his hand on the wall, panting.
Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.
Totomaru's dazed yet honest innocent face appeared on his face. So beautiful, blessed by the sunset as his lips moved. The touch on his forehead and hair lingered longer than he actually wanted… or maybe he wanted.
Ron puts a hand on his lips before sinking down, crouching in the middle of the road hugging himself, “Hahhhh…. Isshiki-san…” Please stop killing me.
He doesn't even know why he wanted to cry.
~~~
Scribbles against paper filled the classroom as the students took their exams.
Ron glanced at Totomaru. He hasn't talked to him since that happened but he hopes Totomaru will pass his exams… he was really studying hard for it after all.
“Finally it's over!” One of the students rejoiced, “Isshiki, let's go party!”
Chatter immediately overwhelmed the room. Except for Ron Kamonohashi who wrapped his scarf around his neck and picked up his bag. He passed by the group of students planning how to celebrate their freedom.
He didn't even notice the familiar grey eyes following his back.
“Hah…” Ron pulled his scarf as his breath became one with the visible air, “February is really cold in Japan…” He shivered. He should have brought a coat today.
He placed his hands inside his pockets to warm them up.
“Kamonohashi-kun!”
Ron stopped on his tracks and turned his head around like there was a helicopter behind him. It was Totomaru running after him, his bike being dragged on his side rather than riding it.
“Isshiki-san?”
“You walk so fast…” Totomaru pants as he stopped in front of Ron, parking his bike on the side, “Is it because you have long legs…”
“Why did you leave already?”
Ron sweated, “Well… everyone is already planning on going to a party and I don't have any friends there. And I just wanted to sleep already.”
Totomaru frowned. His cheeks puffing on his scarf, “You have me, don't you?”
“Eh?”
“......” Totomaru leaned closer to Ron, almost coquettishly tilting his head, his innocent honest eyes looking through Ron, “We're friends, aren't we?”
An attack!
Heat warmed Ron's neck to his cheeks as his mouth hung open.
As Ron stood there, Totomaru took something out of his backpack.
A box. A sky blue box with red ribbon wrap.
“Uhm…” Unlike his innocent ambiance, this time, he looked embarrassed as he held the box with both hands, “I wanted to thank you for tutoring me this semester. I don't really know if you'll like it.”
Blue eyes flickered between Totomaru and the box a couple times. A hint of blush slowly appeared on Totomaru’s cheeks before he took Ron's hands and forcefully placed the box on his palm,
“Just accept it already!” He yelled.
Then took his bike, dashing away from Ron who was still there frozen like a showman confused in the snow, “Huh?”
Totomaru’s breath became white air as he ran. He pulled his scarf, feeling his neck warming, “Stupid, Kamonohashi-kun…”
Ron stared at the box on his hand with a blank mind. For someone so smart, he seems dumb standing there for minutes.
“HUH!?”
Really, what just happened.
A gift!? From Isshiki-san!?
Ron fell again and crouches on the ground feeling the cold snow underneath him. Why is he is always things bad for my heart… . Lord… .
“Haaahhhh……” Ron exhaled deeply. His lovestruck eyes looked at the box he was holding oh so dearly.
Should I open this?? Maybe I should just put it in my drawer and stare at it? No, he may ask about it.
Ron shook it gently, as if it's the most precious thing ever, “Something's inside…” It's not that heavy or light. Just perfect for the size of the box.
Should I open it here… Ron looked around and decided not to… in case he cries or dies. He gently placed the box inside his back, his eyes lingered on it before zipping his back.
He runs back home with a stupid smile on his face.
Romi was cooking dinner when she heard the door of the house open and footsteps hurrying upstairs. She knew it's her son. Looking at the calendar, she smiled inwardly,
“Must be love.”
Ron sat on his chair with a straight back, looking at the gift box as if it's some kind of threat or something. Of course he trusts Totomaru. There won't be anything funny.
He's nervous because he's not sure if his heart will be able to bear whatever is inside the box.
Gathering all his mental strength, Ron's nervous fingers pulled the ribbons carefully, not wanting to ruin anything. He took a deep breath as if he just deactivated a ticking bomb.
Next is opening the box, the gold light welcomes Ron– just kidding. There was something dark inside the box. Ron's move caught a sweet scent.
“Chocolates?” Blue eyes widened as Ron realized, “Brown sugar syrup chocolates…” His voice trailed as he inhaled deeply.
“I don't really know if you'll like it.”
Ron's chest flutters with emotions as he picks up a deformed shape of chocolate.
“But why chocolates…”
He popped one into his mouth and the sweetness of his favorite syrup flooded into his mouth. The brown sugar syrup and chocolate is completely off balance.
Did he made these?
Ron felt his heart stop beating as he thought of Totomaru making the chocolates himself. Cheeks smeared with chocolate as his aching arms creates these cute chocolates, along with patience and determined eyes. Warmth entered his body as he ate another chocolate.
Isshiki-san must have worked hard.
“... It's delicious.”
Romi smiled in front of her silent child as they ate dinner, “So, you got a chocolate?”
“Huh?” Ron suspiciously eyes his mother. His eyes saying how'd you know.
Romi laughs, “Oh my son… you're so smart but you're so clueless.” She gestured to the wall, to the calendar.
February 13.
“It's Valentine's Day tomorrow! I'm sure you got chocolates today since tomorrow is a weekend! So was it delicious?”
Huh…?
Ron's chest started to beat fast. Remembering Totomaru’s chocolate gift for him, how shy he looks. Valentine's Day…
“Huh!?”
Romi watched as her son internally panicked.
Wait wait… wait.. Wait! We're in Japan. They give those gratitude chocolates right? Maybe it's just a gratitude gift. Yes. Yes. It's just a gratitude gift. Ron Kamonohashi, it's just a gratitude gift. Don't get excited. Don't get your hopes up. It's just a gratitude chocolate. Gratitude chocolate. Gratitude chocolate.
She really finds it interesting how her nonchalant son who never cared about anyone panics about love. Romi smiled as Ron groaned against the table holding on his hair.
Love sure is in the wind today.
It's just a gratitude chocolate. It's just gratitude chocolate. Ron really wants to cry again.
~~~
It's my class duty today… Ron thought as the students slowly leaves the classroom. Normally, he would be one of the first to leave because of club and because he wants to go home. He'd be second to leave if he admired Totomaru longer than he intended to.
Ron sat on his seat as he write on the class notebook. Japan has these weird rules or duties by students. He'll never understand it as a western but he'll have to adjust here to not have the teachers’ hate.
His mother did say he might get killed one of these days because of his attitude. Maybe? No one will know. Will someone even be sad when he dies? His mother is one for sure… other than that, no one else.
Scaaa Scaaat
Ron lift his head and looked at the door to see Totomaru standing, “... Isshiki-san?” Ron stood from his seat, slowly walking towards him, “Did you left something behind? I can help you find it.”
Totomaru looked around. His hand behind him secretly locked the door.
Ron looked at him with confusion, “Isshiki-san?” It unusual to see him being so silent.
“Kamonohashi-kun…”
“Yes?” For some reason, Ron feels so nervous. The wind indeed feels cold but that's only outside because the school has its own heater.
“Does Kamonohashi-kun like me?”
“Eh?”
Totomaru pursed his lips and looked at Ron's eyes without a waver, “Does Kamonohashi-kun like me?”
There was no mistake. Ron didn't just heard things. Totomaru asked him if he likes him.
“Huh? Why- huh?” Ron took a step back.
“You may think I'm naive but… Kamonohashi-kun… others may not notice it but I do… it's you after all.”
Ron's mind stopped working. He doesn't know what to do. He absolutely had no intention of confessing his feelings to Totomaru. He didn't even wished for them to be friends. He was already fine with what they have and he didn't wanted to ruin it because he confessed. He didn't want Totomaru, your average Japanese boy, to be uncomfortable around him and avoid him just because of his stupid feelings.
“So Kamonohashi-kun… Do you like me?”
Maybe he was just hallucinating. Yeah. He's just hallucinating the hope on Totomaru’s voice when he asked that.
Ron breathed through his mouth before taking a step forward, “I'm sorry… I…” He was about to pass by Totomaru when a hand caught his wrist.
Ron looked at Totomaru who's eyes looked angry. He tried to shook his arm but the grip was to strong on his. He tried using his other hand but Totomaru caught it too and now both his wrist are held by Totomaru who pushed him back as he try to strangle.
“Let go of me!”
“Not until I hear the truth!”
“There is no truth!”
Totomaru frowned deeply and gave more force, “I just want to know how to feel about me!”
“I feel nothing!”
“Do you think I don't notice your glances at me at school!?”
Ron froze, his eyes widened looking Totomaru.
“You're always so cool but you always get so awkward around me! You always look at the window beside your seat but you always look at me too! You always help me on your ways! They are awkward and sometimes not really helpful to me but I know you are trying to help me! I know that you always try to talk to me that's why I took the initiative to talk to you instead because you looked so hopeless!” Totomaru yelled at him as he push Ron who got weak at every words he said to the wall of the classroom.
Clutter!
“Huh? Someone's inside the classroom?” A student from the hallway question as they heard a sound inside the classroom.
“Must be a cat? We have lots of cats in the school right?”
“I guess… Let's go play basketball!”
“Mmm?” A young girl from the fueled looked up at a certain classroom. The window is open as the curtain sways with the wind but no one is there.
“Hayami, what is it?”
The girl looked at her teammate, “No… it's just I heard something from a classroom.” Her teammate followed her gaze, “Maybe a cat? The students who will use that classroom tomorrow will clean anyways. Just leave it me.”
“You're right.”
Inside the classroom, Ron died. His heart stopped beating as he look at Totomaru above him as the chair fall to the ground hitting the table while falling. The pen he was using earlier rolled on the ground where Totomaru’s legs are tangled with him.
Both of his wrist as locked on the ground as Totomaru holds him. Grey eyes looked at him from above, as if the god looking at him with knowing eyes. It's not Ron is weaker than Totomaru, he just didn't want to hurt him.
“Tell me… Tell me how you feel.”
“What-”
“Tell me what you feel!”
Ron flinched when Totomaru shouted.
“Tell me what you feel so that I don't feel stupid for loving you too!”
Ron’s eyes widen as he inhaled sharp.
“Don’t play stupid with me! I'm not stupid! I know you love me! When will you confess!? When he graduate? In 10 years? When I watch you die?? Why not right now!? I love you too! I love you! I'm being honest with you right now so don't lie to me!”
Totomaru grabbed Ron’s collar hard with both hands, “Don't be a coward and tell me you love me! Don’t make me a fool! I know you love me! Don't even deny it! Tell me! Tell me, Kamonohashi-kun! Confess to me-”
“I love you.”
Totomaru stopped yelling and looked at Ron with shock stopping his breathe, his muscles loosing their strength.
Blue eyes looked at him with honesty.
“I love you… since the first day of school… I have always love you. It was love at first sight. At first I didn't believe at it but the more I see you everyday, I fall in love more and more. And everytime we are together I become more greedy and I want more than just spending time and being friends. I want to hold you, I want to love you, I want to kiss you. I love you.”
A warm hand touched Totomaru’s cheek, “So… Isshiki-san… Don't make that expression…” A hurt and desperate face. It doesn't suit you…
Totomaru held his breath before slowly losing his strength, leaning his forehead on Ron's chest. The air of the snow melting as the spring blooms entered the room, “Me too… I love you too.”
~~~
“It sure brings back memories! Just imagine if I didn't confess and forced you to confess that time!” Totomaru Isshiki, 23 years old, smiled with satisfaction as he sipped on his chocolate milk.
“Stop, Toto… It's so embarrassing…” Ron Kamonohashi, 23 years old, buried his face on Totomaru’s shoulders. Arms wrapped around the other's waist as Totomaru sat between his legs.
“Sorry, Ron. The snow just reminded me of that moment.” Totomaru chuckled. He placed his cup on the table near them. His hand touched Ron's cheek softly, “But you were so cute that time, Ron.”
His eyes squinted with adoration as Ron pouted with those adorable blush on his cheeks, clinging on to him, “Am I not cute today?”
Totomaru’s heart squeezed, “Of course you are cute today. Even cuter.” He pressed his lips against those cheeks.
Ron held his hand from his cheeks, and kissed him on the lips, “Stop teasing me, Toto…” Ron whined as his arms turned Totomaru to face him and gave another kiss.
Warm large hand envelop Totomaru’s own as they kiss. The arm around his waist pressing him against Ron.
“I'm not teasing you, Ron.” Totomaru breathes as they part. Staring at Ron's daze and wanting eyes filled with love, Totomaru smiled and gave him another kiss.
Ron wrapped both his arms around his waist and pulled him closer deepening their kiss as they both opened their lips for the other.
It sure is going to be a warm winter.