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In the dead of night, she allowed herself to think of John. When she's stuck looking at their baby who has his eyes. A baby she will spend her life lying to about their dad.
Jenna wanted not to miss the man she fell in love with, but she did. That man was a lie. John Dean was a lie that she brought far too easily.
They said he was dead, but she didn't believe it. He was probably out there somewhere making some other poor woman fall in love with him.
When he was tired of that life he'd kill her and start over. John was out there living his best life while she was stuck with dirty nappies and bills.
He should be rotting in prison. Still, at least his life insurance had paid out. No one could prove he was alive. The plastic bag of cash she had shoved into her pocket and managed to not get drenched when she dove into the water.
Jenna had money, she had a baby. Her parents supported her. But Jenna would swap all that to go back to the day she met John and make her past self run from him immediately.