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It started off with a simple conversation between two best friends. Shared laughter on the same couch they’d basically grown up on. Then came the mention of a new friend.
Mike would be lying if he said jealousy was the last thing that’d been pooling in his gut, because really, it settled in his uneasy stomach like acid. Don’t get him wrong, he was glad Will was finally able to experience the joys he was teared from by everything that transpired. Mike just wished he was what made Will feel this happy after everything.
In Mike’s perspective, Will had never talked about anyone that brightly, but that’s probably because Will hadn’t trusted him with his deepest secret yet. So it’d make sense that he’d start talking more freely about anyone now that Mike actually knew, he knows that. But it still hurts, for some reason. Mike thinks back to a year and a half ago, when Will had come out. He remembers his heart sinking and constricting in on itself after what Will said about whoever Will liked being his ‘Tammy.’ Who even is Tammy? What hurt the most is Mike realized in that moment, it would have explained everything. But he didn’t notice before, he didn’t notice before and he probably wouldn’t have cared before. Like the asshole he definitely was.
Mike and Will sat on the same couch, Mike buzzing about this comic he read.
“And then guess what he does? He- Will? You there?” Mike pauses, Will seemed so zoned out. Worse, he was making those heart eyes as if he was thinking about something—or, goodness forbid—someone. Mike had to snap softly in Will’s face to get his attention, which worked because he observed the renewed focus tainting Will’s pupils.
“Oh- sorry, Mike.” Will mumbled quickly, shifting his position to recollect himself.
“No, don’t apologize, why’re you so zoned out anyway?” Mike asked, though he knew why, and he honestly didn’t even want to hear it come out of Will’s lips, Will’s soft, rosy, tender lips that he wished he could press his against… Wait, what was he even thinking? Mike knows he likes girls, he knows he doesn’t like boys… At least he thinks.
“Oh no, the main character just reminds me of Carlton, and I guess I just zoned out thinking about him… sorry.”
Carlton. Will’s new boyfriend, who originally was ‘just a friend.’ (Will’s adamant ramblings paired with pink tinting the tips of his ears) But Mike always knew, even if he wished he didn’t.
“Really? How is he?” Mike asked, God why was he asking questions he knows he doesn’t want the answer to? Will seemed to visibly beam at the opportunity to ramble about his lover. Mike found it absolutely adorable, he hated the fact that deep down, a disgusting, vile part of him wished it was him Will would ramble about. But Mike knew that’d never happen.
“Oh y’know, the usual. Today though, he wrote me a letter. He’s so good with words, honestly I don’t know how someone can make me feel this way…” He droned on about Carlton, each word wearing Mike down to the aching hole in his chest, now it was Mike’s turn to zone out. “Mike? You listening?”
“Yeah, sorry.” Mike responded, his voice husky with barely repressed emotion. “No, yeah, he’s a great guy and all. I’m glad you found someone, Will.” He adds, to seem like he was at least paying some attention, which was partially true, because he was paying attention to know that if he listened further he’d crack. Will gave him a skeptical look, he’s always been able to read right through Mike, hasn’t he? Mike gave him a reassuring look in return, hopeful that Will would just leave it at that.
“No, you’re good, I realized it might be sort of boring for me to yap about someone you don’t even know, haha…” Will awkwardly chuckled, quieting down. Mike felt a bomb explode inside his chest. No! Why would Mike do that?! Now Will’s gonna stop talking!!! He’s such a damn asshole!!!!!
“Wait, just keep talking… I’m listening.” Mike exclaims, urging Will to keep talking more, but he doesn’t. Will knows Mike doesn’t want to hear more, Will knows whatever comes out of Mike’s mouth dictates the exact opposite of what he actually craves from the bottom of his soul.
Days were basically the same, Will would come over, Mike would bustle about whatever had happened that day, Will would give his share of what happened the same day, and they would watch a movie or play a game or two. That was until Mike sat in his basement, waiting for Will’s almost daily visit. Lately Will had started to visit less and less until he had gone an entire two weeks without even talking to Mike. But Mike knew it was because of Will’s newfound love for Carlton, maybe he was in town and Will started to visit more at his place, Mike doesn’t care. That’s Will’s boyfriend, and all Mike is to Will is a best friend, obviously Will would choose to be with his boyfriend at any given chance. Mike understands that, but he still doesn’t feel good about it.
Will’s long awaited visit finally came to be, but not in the way Mike wanted, or expected. Moreso, it started with Will absolutely broken on Mike’s couch, tears rolling down his cheeks. Mike, being the way he was only with Will, rubbed his back and whispered sweet nothings into his ear until all that was coming out of Will’s mouth was soft whimpers instead of loud sobs. Mike waited until Will calmed down a little before asking him to genuinely explain what the hell happened to warrant such a reaction.
Turns out, Will broke up with Carlton. It still didn’t answer why he was so sad because if it was Will that broke up then shouldn’t he feel relieved? But the cherry on top was that while he was just sitting in the park painting the scenery, he also planned on implementing the people from afar while they were passionately kissing because as a hopeless romantic, how could he not want to include that? While he was painting the man’s clothes, he noticed the sweater he was wearing looked like the yellow and blue sweater he had gifted Carlton, and the jeans looked like the same jeans he loved seeing on Carlton (they are perfectly tight in all the right places and hug his body in a way that made Will go insane.) Will found it odd but brushed it off as a coincidence as he began drawing the pretty woman, not that he’d think she’s pretty romantically but she was good looking.
That was when Will looked closer and realized that it was Carlton, he dropped his paintbrush and stormed over to confront him and in the fury of the moment, he ended things right there.
Mike was feeling all sorts of things right now, and guilty was a huge one. Guilty because he was so self absorbed to realize that maybe Will was going through something he couldn’t see past his wallowing in self pity, guilty because a disgusting, vile part deep down felt relieved that now no one can stand between him and Will.
“Look, he clearly isn’t a great man and never deserved you, Will. You’re awesome, I mean honestly he doesn’t know what he just missed out on and honestly he’s pretty stupid for not realizing. Like… honestly? If I were him, I would never let you go! Much less do any of what he did, honestly if I had you like that I wouldn’t even think about-”
“What? Mike- you realize what you’re saying, right?”
“No…. wait. Oh my God. No wait, I didn’t mean it like that!” Mike's voice came out panicked, gosh how could he slip up like that?! Will just laughed, and Mike felt a semblance of relief that he was able to make Will laugh after how hard he was sobbing before.
“Mike, you’re such an idiot. Just- just think before you talk, please.” Will laughs, despite his stammering. Mike just really hoped Will didn’t think he was weird or anything.
They left it at that, watching a movie or two, playing a few games, until Will had to go back home.
Will’s visits were a lot more frequent now, Mike was almost having trouble getting used to having a daily visitor again. Actually, Will would come multiple times a day, even visiting more than he used to. He even came at midnight and early mornings on weekends and times when Mike didn’t have to work early shifts at one of his part time jobs. Nancy actually joked about having to make a room for Will, because Mike would wake up, make him and Holly some cereal, and then see Nancy telling him to go into the basement because Will decided to come over at midnight and just sleep over the night even if he left in the afternoon. It was so frequent Mike would wonder why exactly Will would visit so often as if he lived in the Wheeler home.
“Will, why do you come over so often?” Mike asks one day as he sits on the couch in the basement next to Will, under the same blanket.
“Oh… I just like it ‘round here, y’know? The atmosphere is less heavy than in Hopper’s cabin.” Will responds, voice smooth. Though Mike notices the tiniest cracks, the forced casualness.
“Right… anyway, since you seem so okay with the idea of coming around here at 2am while I’m asleep I guess I should offer you my bedroom. It’s getting cold and we can’t exactly spend extra money on heating for the basement.” Mike explains, noticing the red tint crawl up on Will’s cheeks.
“I- I mean, if you don’t mind.” Will stammers.
The next night, Mike awoke to knocking at his bedroom door, he rolled over to check the time on his nightstand and groaned quietly, dragging himself up to open the door to a seemingly tired Will, an exhausted smile plastered on his face.
“Is the offer still up…?” Will mumbles, Mike can’t help but get this warm feeling in his chest as he chuckles and steps back, inviting Will into his bedroom. They sleep that night next to each other, the air tense but somehow inviting at the same time.
They wake up that morning, limbs entangled and blankets sprawled out all over the place. Will wakes first, turning a deep red once he realizes the pretty intimate position they’re in. As he tries to untangle himself from Mike, while trying to be as careful as possible to not wake him up, Mike wakes up, his eyelashes fluttering as he looks up at Will. Once Mike realizes Will is on top of him, he feels like he’s on cloud nine. Like this was a dream he wanted nothing but to stay asleep in, but once he realized what these feelings were pointing to, he pushed himself off Will.
“Oh- oh my God, I’m so sorry, I don’t even know what happened!” Will scrambled to get off the bed and on his feet, Mike gave him a tight smile and laughed nervously.
“Haha… it’s okay… I think? Uh- let’s just get breakfast, that’s what I really need right now probably.”
They settled next to each other at the table, eating cereal and sharing random topics. Until Mrs. Wheeler walked into the kitchen and laughed at the sight.
“I’m glad to see you two boys getting along again, I was starting to miss seeing Will eat breakfast with us practically everyday!” She beamed, and Mike was just glad she wasn’t annoyed by it. Because he sure as hell wasn’t, he was actually ecstatic at these new circumstances, it was like a year and a half ago, when he guiltily found himself happy at the dire circumstances they were in because it meant he would be able to see Will everyday.
“Thank you Mrs. Wheeler, I love being here.” Will laughs, and Mrs. Wheeler gives him a kind smile and walks away after eating some scrambled eggs she made for herself. “Well, behave, you two, I’m gonna be working overtime today.” She yelled out before leaving the house. Mike hummed in response and took a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.
Will watched Mike as he ate, obviously Will had his entire facial features mapped out at some point but during Carlton, he had forgotten how pretty Mike really was. Plus he had changed a lot since a year and a half ago when Will really paid attention to his face, he’d even counted every freckle at some point during many of the abundant sleepovers they tended to have. But now that he was really looking at Mike, he realized that he doesn’t think he’s seen a prettier person. Not even Carlton. Will ripped his gaze away once Mike met his eyes.
“Do you have any errands to run today? Or a job to get to?” Will mutters, probably to make an attempt at glossing over the fact he was caught staring longingly at Mike.
“I mean yeah, but it’s not much. I just have a late shift tonight, but it’s pretty short.” Mike responds.
Their soft words were interrupted by the harsh ringing of the phone, Mike immediately stood. “I’ll get it.”
He nears the phone and puts it to his ear. “Wheeler residence, whose calling?”
“Hello, this is Joyce Byers. Is that you Mike?”
“Yes, Ms. Byers. Is anything the matter?”
“Uh… do you know where Will is? I haven’t seen him since yesterday.”
“Oh he’s at my house, should I tell him to come see you?”
Will overheard that and sighed to himself. It was probably his mom, but he can’t do anything about it because he’s barely home nowadays, it’s just Hopper’s cabin is sort of stressful to be in and it’s more comfortable at the Wheeler house.
“No, it’s okay. Just tell him to come home soon, okay?”
“Yes ma’am.”
He hangs up the phone and looks at Will. “You should go home soon, your mom is worried.”
“Okay. Sorry.” Will instinctively apologizes, but he doesn’t really know why. He just feels guilty.
“Why’re you apologizing?” Mike tilts his head.
“Sorry, I’m just here constantly, you barely get any space to yourself…” Will trails off, blinking and looking down at the table, drowning in the tension that had increased by tenfold now.
“Don’t say sorry for that! I enjoy your presence here, all the time.” Mike exclaims quickly, sounding almost offended Will would think that he was being a burden by staying over so often. All Will could focus on though was how gentle Mike has actually been with him, it was kind of odd because most people would describe him as an asshole or a way too edgy troubled teenager, but he seemed to act differently with Will.
Will did not want to get his hopes up and feed into delusions he knew would never become a reality, not even in another universe. But the thought was so disgustingly, sickeningly sweet. He couldn’t help but yearn for the kind of reality he only saw in his daydreams.
The two boys spent their time as two best friends who missed being together like this. They missed the sense of normalcy that echoed through hangouts, where the air wasn’t full of fear of the world hidden underneath that nobody really understood. But it was over, they were finally allowed to feel safe. They spent their time watching a movie, but that quickly became abandoned once Mike found himself focused on memorizing Will’s features as if after tonight, he’d never see them again. He’d never see the vibrant colors to his dull writings again. Now that he actually got time to think about everything, he’d realized that in his writings where he yearned for El. Every single word he wrote that transcended the barriers of friendship and platonic love. All of it painted an image in his mind, an image of a person. A boy. A boy who looked far too much like Will.
Will caught Mike’s gaze, and instead of awkwardly giggling and looking away trying to de-escalate the situation, he just stared back, looking into Mike’s dark irises, as if he were trying to memorize the exact shade of brown so he could paint a picture of his eyes with the exact shade of brown later on.
Something in Will’s body urged him to lean in, move closer, be so close that he could feel Mike’s body heat, yet so far that the distance between them resembled that of the distance between continents, between galaxies. But something in Will’s body also kept him stiff in place, unable to move farther or closer.
Mike felt so… right. Even if this whole situation was wrong. Even if it was wrong that he was a boy, and Will was a boy. If it was so wrong, why did it feel so right? Why did he finally feel like this was who he was, why did he feel like his future was Will?
Mike knows he’s done a lot of bad things, made a lot of poor choices. But something in him urges him to lean in, to close the gap between them, to do what he believed could only be in a crazy fantasy that nobody would probably understand. Something tells him this is a good choice, that more good will come out of this than bad.
Will leans in, despite how much he feels he’ll regret this later, he knows he’s jeopardizing the best friendship he’s ever had. But part of him doesn’t care, part of him knows what he wants, and knows that he can’t live with this burden anymore and needs to know. Will needs to have some closure, and as unconventional as this method may be, there’s no way it won't work.
Mike feels Will’s body heat grow stronger, feels his increasing closeness. He doesn’t know if he should push Will off and then have an extremely difficult conversation, which will end everything. Or if he should do what he really wants, and lean in. Close the gap.
He chooses the latter. He leans in and closes the gap.
For a second, everything is perfect. Eyes closed and lips pressed against each other, and everything just felt so right. So natural.
But then after that second, Will pulls back, realizing what just happened. He doesn’t know if he should scramble out apologies or attempt to act like it never happened. But Mike opens his eyes, and for once in a long time, Will notices he looks terrified. His hands are shaking, his irises are shaking and tears are building up. Will can imagine that he was mirroring the same state, but both of them can’t help it, they can’t help it that they both feel so natural doing something so unnatural.
Mike decides to break the silence. “I’m… I’m sorry.” He utters, before standing up and dashing up the stairs, locking himself in his room. Will sits there with the silence of what could’ve been if Mike hadn’t ran away, he’s never seen Mike with so much emotion. And he doesn’t blame Mike for being overwhelmed about the whole situation, because sexuality is a hard thing to take in.
Mike sat on his bed, he didn’t know if Will had left the house yet, but he couldn't handle seeing the boy. He couldn't handle seeing the boy’s expressive eyes once more. He couldn’t even think of Will without feeling his lips pressed up against his. He couldn’t handle the thought of that being who he really was.
The tears that had built up minutes ago increased by tenfold, Mike found it odd that he was crying over this. Especially since he barely cries and much less over dumb love. Mike didn’t want to be different. He knows Will has come to terms with himself being different but he doesn’t think he’ll be able to. Because Mike was supposed to be normal. He wasn’t supposed to be a faggot. Why was he like this?
Time passed and he heard knocking at his door, he knew it was probably Holly or Nancy telling him to come down for dinner. Dinner sounded like a nightmare right now, he felt so impossibly disgusting that he didn't think he could keep anything inside his stomach. So he just yelled out. “Go away! I’m not hungry!”
“It’s me, Will.” Mike jumped up at that, Will was still in the house? Or had he left and returned like he usually does? Regardless, Mike stands and steps nearer to the door.
“Will?”
“Yes, Mike. Please let me in.” Will sounded exhausted, tired. Mike couldn’t say no, so he reluctantly opened the door to an almost distraught Will. Mike steps back and sits on his bed, probably to let Will sit down. “We need to talk.” Will mutters, his voice thick and his tone hesitant.
“Right.”
Will didn’t know if he should continue this conversation. But he’s tired of waiting, and he’ll be damned if Mike manages to just ignore the fact this ever happened. So he decided to ask outright.
“What do you feel for me?” Will blurts, Mike freezes. Obviously he’s gonna notice. For goodness sake he kissed him! “Please answer me honestly.”
“Will…” Mike starts, unable to continue. He just hoped that his gaze would speak all the words that his throat couldn’t vocalize. Mike knows he can’t keep lying to Will, but he can’t say it. He can’t form those words, as much as he wants to.
“Mike. Do you like me romantically?” Will attempts again, he knows he’s being pushy but when his best friend kissed him and ran he can’t help but be desperate to know the actual truth. Especially when it’s the same boy who’s held Will’s heart in his hands since kindergarten. Mike’s pupils were blown wide, his throat working to swallow down saliva and form words. But all he could muster was a stiff nod.
“Yes… God, so much. So, so much.” Mike’s voice barely reached above a whisper, his tone breathless as if it hurt to speak. “I love you, Will.” Mike whispered, adding on to Will’s racing heartbeat.
“You’re not lying… rig-”
“Will. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such an asshole during everything. I’m sorry for adding on to your problems. I know you should hate me, but somehow it feels like you don’t. I’m sorry for saying that the day my life started was when I met El in the woods, because I was lying. That day I was looking for you. That day all I cared about was you.” Mike rambled nervously, and Will couldn’t help but let a loving smile creep up his lips and a longing gaze paint his eyes.
“Mike. Yes, you’ve been an asshole, yes you’ve been an idiot, but you changed, and that’s what matters. And, I love you too. I love you more than you could imagine.” Will murmured, taking Mike’s hand into his. He brought it up to his mouth and pressed a kiss to it. “Mike… what do we do now?”
“Want to be crazy together?” Mike suggested, cheeks flushed red as he felt Will’s lips pressed against the back of his hand. Will felt tears well in his eyes and looked up at Mike, who also had tears flowing down his cheeks. Will sniffles and wipes a stray tear, he nodded vigorously.
“Yes, forever.” Voice wet and shaky, Will presses his forehead against Mike’s, and Mike tilts his head slightly, pressing his lips against Will’s. This time he didn’t feel dread, this time he felt natural without a second thought. Will smiled against his lips before deepening the kiss.
That night they’d sleep together in the same bed, limbs entangled but no one made a single move to untangle from the other and increase the distance. Then they’d wake up, and Will would press a kiss to Mike’s forehead, then his lips, and leave for his job. But Mike knew he’d come back after, Mike knew he couldn’t live without Will and Will couldn’t live without him.
Will would find himself at his part time job as a barista, serving coffees with a dark brown color that perfectly resembled Mike’s eyes. And instead of feeling trapped and confused with himself, he felt happy. He felt a smile creeping up to his lips and a faint blush staining his cheeks. And Will knew this was what he really wanted.