Chapter Text
“MR. STARK I’M DYING!!!”
That was the first thing Tony heard as he answered Peter’s call.
It was 4:00 in the evening, he was just settling down on the couch with a cup of espresso thinking everything was good and calm in the world, and suddenly those words were yelled into his ear and all that was ruined in an instant.
His heart stopped, and he fumbled with the phone for a moment before responding with a panicked, “What?!”
“Yeah, I need your help!!” Peter exclaimed, “And come quickly!!! Meet me at that abandoned warehouse on Clifton road where I once accidentally dropped that lamppost on your head.”
Tony’s heart was pounding, but he wasted no time gearing up and heading quickly to the balcony. “Kid, what the heck is going on?” He asked as he ran, his arm piece locking around him.
“Oh, I’ve just got a four inch deep gash across my chest. Also, Green Goblin is here. So is Vulture. They’ve teamed up. They’re trying to burn me alive with a flamethrower. Oh, they also have laser-shooting–”
“Oh my God, stop talking.” Tony said, feeling his heart hammer in his chest faster than could possibly be safe as he slipped on his mask. He was going to get a heart attack talking to Peter one of these days. What the kid was saying sounded insane, but then again, everything he said sounded insane and half the time it turned out to be true. It seemed that every time he called him, he had bad news to share.
“Oh, can you also bring Steve and Clint?” Peter said quickly, as if he’d just remembered. “Because you um, you might need backup. Oh, and Thor. Bring Thor, too.”
“What are you talking about?” He said, running out to the balcony, fully suited up. “I can handle this myself.”
“No!” He exclaimed, which gave Tony pause. “You need to bring them! You can– you can only beat these guys together!”
Tony stopped just before jumping off.
“Is this a prank?” Tony asked slowly after a moment of silence, “Because I swear, kid, if this is just some–”
“No, no, it’s not!!” Peter yelped.
“You cannot seriously be–”
“Hey, uh, Mr. Stark, is my suit acidproof?”
Tony blasted off at full speed.
***
It only took Tony a couple of minutes to get to the warehouse that Peter had told him to meet him at, and when he did, it looked completely normal. Not half-burned down. No broken walls that showed that a fight had happened. No flashing lights from an explosion. No laser marks through the walls or ceiling.
“J.A.R.V.I.S, scan the area.” Tony commanded.
After it had finished scanning, he saw a small blue figure standing inside the warehouse, but nothing else.
He took off his mask.
Complete silence.
“That little son of a–” Tony hissed just as the warehouse door slid open.
In the center of the doorway stood Peter, completely unharmed.
He was dressed casually– a simple blue plaid flannel and jeans.
“Hey, Mrs. Stark! Come here!” He said, so cheerily that Tony guessed he had no idea what was about to happen to him. He stomped over, trying to take deep breaths so that he wouldn’t explode at the kid. He couldn’t believe this. He’d called him over here under the ruse that he was being attacked, and for what? This surprise had better be a cupcake the size of Rhodey’s ego for Tony not to erupt like a volcano at Peter. Either way, he was about to get the speech of the century.
He stepped inside the warehouse, only to find that it was completely empty. However, next to where Peter was standing, there was something large covered in several blue cloths with little Elmos all over them.
“Peter–” Tony began, but Peter quickly spoke over him by saying, “You called Steve, Clint, and Thor, right?”
“They’re on their way.” Tony said, trying to keep his cool, “But if you don’t tell me why you made me call them in the next five seconds, you’re going to face some serious consequences.”
God, he felt like his dad.
He hated that.
He quickly added, “You’re also going to need to explain to me why the heck you have so many Elmo blankets.”
Peter looked genuinely ashamed, staring at his feet. “Sorry for tricking you.” He said quietly, ignoring the Elmo blanket question. “I just knew you’d never come if I told you what surprise I actually had planned.”
Tony tried to stuff back his guilt. He was not going to give in that easy. “And that on its own already shows that I’m going to hate this surprise.” He muttered, crossing his arms. “I hate surprises in general. So if you don’t answer my question right now–”
“Can I please just tell you what it is when everyone else arrives? Please,” He added when Tony didn’t seem convinced. “It’ll be great. I promise. And you need it.”
Tony stared at him for a moment, picking up on the subtle shift in his voice. What could that mean?
“Peter,” He said after a brief silence, “I don’t need anything. Anything important to me, I already have. Unless the thing under that ridiculous Elmo pile is world peace, I don’t need it.”
Peter actually seemed a little hurt by that, and Tony knew he had to fix that immediately before he started feeling guilty. “I mean, if it’s something handmade, obviously I’d like it,” He hurriedly continued, “But it can’t possibly be so great that you would trick me into thinking you’re dying, nearly giving me a heart attack, and drag me out to this warehouse in the middle of nowhere just to show me it. I came here expecting death and lasers, and instead I get… Sesame Street chic.” He waved his hand at the Elmo blankets.
Peter was clearly embarrassed. “They were the only blankets I could find.” He mumbled.
“What, no Cookie Monster blankets? No Big Bird? Abby Cadabby is feeling very offended.” Tony quipped.
“You’re going to laugh at me so hard if I admit that I actually do have some Abby Cadabby blankets at home.” Peter confessed, the smallest of smiles creeping across his face. “They were in the washing machine. You can’t blame me though, okay? Aunt May got them for me when I was little.”
Somehow, those few sentences made Tony’s anger start melting away, and he had to suppress a smile.
Sometimes he forgot that Peter was just a kid. He made mistakes. Sure, this was one of his larger ones, but… at least he wasn’t actually dying.
Tony would obviously prefer to be tricked only to find Peter perfectly alive and healthy than to find him actually dying, bleeding out from a four-inch deep wound.
“So.” Tony sighed, “You’re really not going to tell me what’s under those blankets?”
Peter was saved from having to respond by Steve running in, shield in hand. He stopped as he reached where they were standing, looking around for the supposed danger. He furrowed his brows in confusion as he looked Peter up and down.
“Tony,” He said slowly, “You said Peter was dying.”
“The kid tricked me. And all of us.” Tony explained. He gestured to the thing under the blankets. “But he said he’s got a surprise he’d like to show us once we’re all here. No idea what it is.”
Peter crossed his arms. “Trust me, you guys will love it.”
“Don’t count on it, Underoos.”
Clint ran in just only moments later, and they had to repeat everything to him.
It took a while for Thor to arrive, which was surprising. He was usually one of the first people to be somewhere. He told them that he’d been busy when Tony called, and was therefore late.
They all turned to Peter.
“Okay, kid, we’re all here.” Tony said. “Time for the reveal. What’s Elmo hiding?”
“Yeah, seriously, What’s with the sesame street vibes?” Clint wondered aloud.
“I’m sorry, did you just say vibes?” Thor asked incredulously.
“OKAY, OKAY, GUYS, IT’S TIME FOR THE REVEAL.” Peter shouted to catch their attention.
They all stared on as Peter grasped the tips of some of the blankets, then tugged them all down to reveal…
… A weathered-looking brown van.
They all blinked.
“Peter.” Tony said slowly. “Please don’t tell me you dragged us all out here to show us a vehicular midlife crisis with rust issues.”
“Well, the van itself isn’t the surprise,” Peter said, putting his hands on his hips, “The surprise is… I’m taking you all on a road trip!”