Chapter Text
“Soooo glad you could join us, Dad!” Charlie enthused as she led him into the parlor. “This is gonna be great!”
“Yeah, well, anything for my little girl,” Lucifer said a bit dubiously as he took in the little assortment of sinners: the spider guy (gal? mixed?) lounging at the foot of the sofa, with the little cyclops peeking out from underneath, while the actual seats were taken up by the winged cat, the serpent, and the fallen angel—Charlie’s girlfriend.
To the left, in the only chair, that perpetually grinning upstart was studying his claws.
Just as Lucifer was debating whether to stay standing or sit on the floor, Charlie pulled in a new chair for him. As he took his seat, he didn’t miss a little flux of power and the fact that the upstart’s chair was now about ten percent fancier (and three inches taller) than it had been when he walked in.
“All righty, so!” Charlie crowed, twirling before the group. “Welcome to Game Night! We’ve been holding these every week for a couple months now, just as a kind of way to, y’know, get to know each other and build some team spirit, and, well, uh, each week a new person gets to introduce some games to the group!”
“Uh-huh…” Lucifer drawled, wondering how quickly this was going to make him regret agreeing to attend.
“Sirrr Pentious!” Charlie called out, and the serpent guy jolted to his feet—or the snake equivalent—like some soldier being called to attention. Charlie gestured toward a large poster on the wall, the contents of which seemed to have been scrawled over and repeatedly amended. “Will you read the rules?”
Sir Pentious began to recite, with numbers included:
- No cheating
1b. No lying about your cards unless that’s actually part of the game- No actual violence (including blood, bruises, or pain)
- No sexual content (in or out of the game)
3b. No games about romance, either- No games about murder
4b. No, not even cartoony murder
4c. Or suicide- No games that are obviously about slavery
- No horror games
- No insults
7b. No games that require insults as part of normal play- No games that focus on betrayal or backstabbing
- No games that require destroying actual physical objects in any way
9b. ABSOLUTELY NO FIRE OR EXPLOSIONS WHATSOEVER- Any deals made during game night are exclusive to game night itself and do not imply any further obligations beyond this one room and this one evening
- No game choices that you know damn well are going to make Charlie expand this rules list
- Games are optional and any participant can bow out at any time, no questions asked
The eleventh rule was written in a completely different handwriting from the rest of the list. The word “optional” in the final line was circled, underlined, and outlined in sparkly ink.
“All of that pretty clear?” Charlie asked brightly, looking over at Lucifer expectantly as Sir Pentious took his seat again.
Lucifer stared at the poster. “…I have a few questions.”
“The Landlord’s Game isn’t on there because we don’t need a rule to avoid repeating that disaster,” the spider chimed in, and the radio demon’s grin turned a bit nastier.
Blinking, Lucifer tried to make sense of that, then shook his head and moved on. “How often has this ‘game night’ devolved into actual violence?”
“Only a couple times!” Charlie assured him. “We got over it. But then it was Angel’s night to choose the games, and—”
“Hey, Bloody Knuckles was big fun when I was a kid!” the spider chirped.
“Aaanyway,” Charlie said, rubbing the back of her head, “that was the night we outlawed anything that would lead to actual injury. At least, on purpose.”
Lucifer nodded slowly, then raised an eyebrow. “Someone set things on fire?”
“There’s a game about trying to light candles while balancing on one knee… let’s just say that was a bad idea. I added explosions to the list once Angel started arguing semantics.”
“You’re the one who called Cherri a pyromaniac,” the spider—Angel?—shot back.
“Yes, yes, I’ve already apologized. One can enjoy explosions without feeling compelled to start fires. They’re not the same thing, I got it.”
“Good.”
Charlie turned back to Lucifer. “Anything else?”
“There are games about murder?”
“Soooo many games about murder,” the little cyclops confirmed, with a dark eagerness that made Lucifer glad she was on the far side of the room.
“Niffty can get a little… confused about the rules,” Charlie admitted. “We figured it was better to just avoid the impression that stabbing people was even an option.”
“Riiight. Then it took you four more rules to outlaw backstabbing?”
“Betrayal doesn’t have to involve actual stabbing,” the cat said darkly.
“Right, that’s just a colorful way of describing it,” Charlie clarified. “Anyway, learning to work together as a team is kinda the point here, so the kind of games that make people all paranoid became a bit of an issue.”
“But you’re okay with games based on lying.”
“Bluffing is a crucssial ssstrategy in a number of gamesss,” Sir Pentious informed him. “Sssome of usss are more ssskilled at it than othersss.”
“Yeah, I didn’t want to deny Sir Pentious his chance to shine. Besides, those games didn’t seem to be a problem. The rules are more about, well… there’s a few topics that turned out to be a little, mm, touchy.” She rubbed her elbow. “Game night is supposed to be fun, not painful. Physically or emotionally. And we all need to feel safe enough to let our hair down.”
“Safe. Mm-hmm.” He glanced over the list again. “You have more rules than you’ve had actual game sessions.”
“Oh, it’s been a while since we had to add one! That’s just from the first five sessions.”
Lucifer rubbed his temple. Whyyy had he agreed to spend time playing games with a whole pack of sinners?
Because Charlie asked him. Right. And now that she wanted him back in her life, he didn’t want to disappoint his little girl.
“Well, uh… wh-who’s choosing the games tonight?”
“Well, we’ve each had a turn except forrr… Alastor!”
The radio demon’s grin darkened.
(It took Lucifer every ounce of willpower he had not to just disappear back to his den.)