Chapter Text
Do you believe in God?
Once upon a time, mankind believed in God and had religion. They believe that things that cannot be solved by human strength are the will of God. Believed that the entire universe revolved around the Earth. Thought that the place that connected with the sky, which they could not dare to reach was the place where the gods lived.
From the moment humanity left the universe, we all forgot God. But if belief in god is human, if all I can do as a human is to believe…
My god,
My universe.
. . .
On the stage, cold blue light shone on a single figure. Clothed in white, he stood tall with an arm in the air as he stared at the full stadium. Eyes, so many eyes. Some were huge and round, belonging to skin too colourful and clumpy to be anything human. Some were glowing red, sharp and dangerous. Others were blank. Lifeless. Much like his own.
How many times has he stood on this same exact stage? Gazing upon the same exact people, reading the same exact words on the hologram screen floating in between the gap of the stage and the audience.
‘ WINNER : Youngjae ‘
The cheers were the same. The banners with his name beside hearts and kissy faces did nothing to his heart. Because he knew these ‘fans’. He knew they’re only happy because they’d won a bet.
“50 million won! Youngjae-ah, I knew it was right to believe in you!” He imagined. Really, if he listened close enough, he’d hear it all. The cries of aliens who lost their pet in a match, the rowdy howling of bloodthirsty entertained guests calling for an encore, another match to do it all again.
Sing. Dance. Die. That was all humans were good for. All they were ever taught.
“You were amazing out there,” his owner cooed back in his room. “Everyone was star struck, as they should.”
“Continue shining, Youngjae. Just like that.”
The sky had never looked dimmer.
. . .
In the Anakt Garden, pets were registered at a young age to train to be shining stars on stage. It was a school of sorts. Children sat together at the cafeteria for meals, played together on the fields, looked up at the fake sky walls caging them in, did singing and dancing lessons, and even expressions were monitored. At the end of every month, an exam was conducted to choose the next contestants for the Alien Stage.
This time, it just so happened to be…
“Shinyu, look!” Dohoon called out. When he turned to face him, Kyungmin stood beside him in a fitted white coat over a black button up top, standing out against his white trousers. “Kyungmin really looks like a prince.”
Shinyu nodded, “Ah Kyungminie, how have you grown so much?” He went on to fuss about Kyungmin’s hair in true motherly fashion for the full effect. The younger didn't mind though, smiling brightly back up at his hyung.
Just on time, someone else joined them in the green room. Dressed in a black top with a ruffled collar neatly framed by a white cropped coat, the ginger beauty stepped in. Kyungmin instantly sprung up, “Hanjin, we’re matching!” followed by a distant murmur of “Cute” and “Oh, they grow up so fast”.
Hanjin immediately recognised their similar outfits as well and joked, “Like this, we look like we’re getting married.”
“Can we?” came the soft reply.
He stopped. Realistically, his body should have gone cold by the way he felt his heart stop but all he felt was the heat in his face. Both his hands were gently held together before he could answer or react but it only took one look into Kyungmin’s big doe eyes for him to melt and fuse with the tiled floor below. He wrapped his own hands around Kyungmin’s as he crouched down. After a beat or two, he finally raised his head and whispered, "Yes, Kyungmin. I would love to.”
The two hugged each other tightly, probably whispering sweet-nothings into each other’s ears as the older duo watched on. Silently, they held hands like it was natural, the fond smiles never leaving their faces. This was the home they’ve built. The home they intend to keep.
Even in the afterlife.
. . .
“Here, touch it,” Little Dohoon lightly ran his fingers on the creature’s canine, larger than his head. His fingers flexed outwards and hovered into its mouth, his sleeve risking a tear from grazing a fang. “It won’t bite,” he said matter of factly.
Turning around to face the shaking boy, he opened his mouth to call him names for being so scared but stopped halfway. Only a “You-!” escaped his lips before he burst out in hearty laughter. He nearly doubled over on the grass field as heat began to spread across Shinyu’s face who was clutching Youngjae’s sleeve like it owed him money. And standing at least two feet away from Dohoon no less!
“Oohhh,” Jihoon sing-songed as he hopped in circles around Shinyu and Youngjae. “Shinyu is a big scaredy-cat!”
“ ‘m not,” Shinyu murmured.
Dohoon whose cheeks hurt from laughing so hard, stepped closer towards the trio. He extended the hand he reached into the creature’s mouth before Shinyu, “See, no harm was done. It’s harmless, c’mon,” he encouraged brightly. Even Youngjae nudged him forwards a little, “I’ll come with you, if you want,” he offered.
At last, they managed to drag Shinyu over to face his fears. Youngjae hesitantly reached into its mouth first, but Shinyu still needed Dohoon to guide his fingers to brush over its teeth. “See,” he reassured, “Safe and sound.”
Shinyu recalled the memory as his fingers interlocked with Dohoon’s. He had said as much to the other, to which he replied, “I remember. It was the day I began to see you. Not just as a friend, but something so much more.”
“Then I’ll have to be glad I was a fool who only knew how to hold your hand back then.” Shinyu laughed. “It sure made things easier,” Dohoon added lightheartedly. Their giggles mingled together until a soft weight was pressed on top of them. The memory of the past and the what-ifs chasing them to their graves. The reality.
Dohoon squeezed his hand, letting his head lean on the older’s shoulder. “I wonder,” he paused. “I hope they’re safe.”
“We’ll meet them again,” Shinyu whispered to himself more than to anyone else.
“And when I find Jihoon,” Dohoon cracked his knuckles, suddenly full of energy. “He’s definitely getting a beating from me.”
Just then, the newlywed duo skipped towards them, hand-in-hand. Dohoon congratulated them first, letting go of Shinyu to hold them in his arms. Shinyu was next, gently patting their heads and laughing as they joked about a full ceremony where Dohoon was the flower girl and Shinyu was their pastor.
Home.
Who knew feeling at home could hurt so bad?