Chapter Text
For the longest time, I remembered that day as the moment my life was cursed. As the day something within me broke, and what I knew to be my life, ended. The pain. The sorrow. The loneliness. It felt as if a part of me shifted. This external source consumes every inch of my body, hosting itself in my soul and making its presence be seen. It was crushing — heartbreaking even.
Things changed.
But this change brought more pleasure, in the long run, than I expected — like a breath of fresh air. Letting me know that even if I was going through the darkest of times, there was a small yet warm feeling that guided me through it all.
———
Draco abruptly woke up to the sound of knocking on his door. As it opened, it showed the figure of a small, scared looking house elf.
“Dobby wishes to apologize to Master Draco for waking him up from his nap.” frantically shaking as he spoke. “However, Misses Narcissa betasked Dobby to tell Master Draco that the guests would arrive in an hour. Master Draco must start preparing himself for the night.”
Oh right! Tonight was the PAYB. Draco excitedly thought as he quickly dismissed the elf, getting up and changing into his previously picked outfit for the night. Dark dress robes with small silver accents, paired with a dark green tie; assimilating the powerfulness and elegance of his family name. He had eagerly waited for this day to arrive, since it would be hosted by the Malfoys that year.
The PAYB (not payb, P.A.Y.B) is the famously known Pureblood Annual Yule Ball celebrated at the end of the year, where the most distinguished pureblood families attended. A party filled with glamorous music, food, and well dressed witches & wizards, resembling the most prestigious and high-end elements of the wizarding world. Its purpose, apart from celebrating a successful end of the year, is to strengthen the connections between the families invited, mostly being part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight.
After getting ready, Draco walked out of his room and went downstairs. Every corner looked fabulous: large bouquets of orchids, lavandes, gardenias, & paperwhite narcissus adorning the halls and tables, the house elves bringing tons of silver trays that carry a variety of sweet and salty delicacies, chandeliers with candles so bright that brought the manor to life. A sight he had never had the pleasure of experiencing. Everywhere was filled with intricate, shiny ornaments that embellished the manor. He stayed there looking closely at every detail, amazed by the view. So entranced that he hadn’t noticed his mother standing behind him, looking fondly before saying, “Draco dear, I see you like how the manor is currently looking” with a proud tone.
Turning around, Draco answered excitedly, “ Of course mother!” His mother was wearing a long, dark purple, velvet dress adorned with a silver narcissus pattern that starts at the top and slowly makes its way down in a wavy motion. It sits nicely on her, accentuating her figure, paired up with matching gloves that extend above the elbows and an expensive silver necklace. “It looks wonderful!”
“Thank you my dear. It took hard work to put all of this together.” She spoke proudly. “I assume you are ready?”
“Yes mother,” he nodded.
“Perfect, because our guests will be arriving soon. And you must remember what your father told you, alright?” His father expected him to behave and not to get in any sort of trouble, he had to be in perfect conditions since it was important to keep a proper image. “Be a dear.”
Later, as the guests arrived, Draco stayed with some of his friends — he wouldn’t really call them “friends” as they’re actually just the children of his father’s acquaintances, but they are the closest to that — Gregory Goyle, Theodore Nott, Vincent Crabbe, and Pansy Parkinson. They were talking beside one of the farther tables in the ball room. Theo, looking a bit annoyed, complained.
“This is getting boring”
“Don’t say that, Theo!” Pansy exclaimed as she crossed her arms. “We are having fun and the night has barely started.” For the past hour they haven't done much apart from talking and looking around. For a 5 year old that tends to be very boring, even if she tried to convince herself otherwise.
“Even worse!!” he complained.
“Then what do you suggest us do?” Draco asked, lifting an eyebrow in a challenging matter. He knew Theo wasn't exaggerating — things were getting boring — these types of parties took a long time and energy. Earlier, his father had also told him that keeping guests entertained was equally as important.
It makes people trust you and keep wishing for your presence.
He had to keep that in mind.
The brunette looked around for a second, till his eyes landed on the window, coming up with, “What if we go play in the garden?” When everyone looked at each other startled and hesitantly, he continued, “No one will find out. All the adults are busy chatting. If we sneak out to go outside for a little bit no one will know. And we’ll have fun!” he exclaimed excitedly. “I bet no one has ever fully explored them. Not even you, Draco!” Landing his eyes on the blonde and looking at him with pleading eyes. “Please?”
They stared at each others’ eyes for a second. Draco didn't want to disobey his father’s rules. However, he convinced himself that as long as they didn't get into any trouble things would be alright. He decided to prioritize his guest’s entertainment.
He sighed.
“Alright. But we have to go quickly. If my father finds out we snuck out or that we cause any sort of trouble he will be mad.” He said defeated as the brunette lit up in joy and enthusiastically nodded.
Thus, he guided his friends through the halls and into the backdoor, making sure no adults or house elves were in sight. As they left the manor, they started running into the gardens as they laughed in liberation, immersing themselves in the moment.
The gardens were spacious, yet embellished with long trails of plants and flowers, with small enchanted light glims that illuminated them. The large, intricate constructed bushes guided them into the woodland’s edge that connected to the perimeter of the gardens. The friends ran and jumped, hid and laughed, forgetting how much time had passed.
When they got closer, Theo looked back at his friends smugly and pointed to the entrance of the forest, almost challenging them.
“No guys, we shouldn’t go in there!” Draco quickly refuted with an anxious expression. He was prohibited by his parents to enter the forest.
“Oh, come on mate! We’ll be alright” the brunette debated, dismissing the blonde’s worries.
“No, really guys. Father said not to go into the forest. It is dangerous!” pressing on the matter, hands fidgeting as he looked at each of his friends’ faces for some kind of support.
“Draco, it will be fine.” Pansy responded as she rolled her eyes, “You’ve never been here anyways. How would you really know if it's dangerous?”
“Yea! You aren't scared, are you?” said Crabbe, supporting the girl’s teases, pushing his chest outwards, trying to act tough.
“You aren't one of those scared, little squibs, are you Draco?” spit Theo, with a condescending tone, challenging the blonde to come up with a quick answer. He knew by provoking him, Draco would want to go inside, meaning they could keep playing for longer.
This angered the blonde. He couldn't seem weak — his father always told him to keep his head up and shoulders back; to be strong. He wouldn't let his friend mock him like that. A dark, ugly feeling started bubbling within him, he had to do something. He had to prove himself.
“NO I AM NOT! Watch me!” he exclaimed as he sped up and proudly walked into the depths of the forest. His friends quickly followed him, looking at each other with smiles as they had convinced his friend.
With a bright full moon shining over them, they didn’t know soon those smiles would vanish as quickly as they first appeared.
The forest was so deep and dense that it was hard to properly see where they were going. With tall, twisted trees and thick, tangled branches creating dancing shadows and figures in the path. The air became cold and heavy, spiking up Draco’s anxiety. The muddy ground squelching with every step they took. He became hyperaware, hearing every creak, every breath, every whisper, every small laugh his friends made. He started shaking in fear. Each second felt like years — ticking like a bomb about to explode. His heartbeat raised as they walked deeper into the forest, breath quickening.
*Rustle*
All of a sudden, there was a shift in a nearby bush. Draco froze in place, making his friends shut up in concern and stop behind him, planting their feet on the ground.
*Rustle* It shifts again.
Everyone was frightened, looking directly at the bush. A moment of pure silence. The eye of the hurricane.
Pairs of shiny eyes appeared — looking directly at them.
A shift.
A growl.
The creatures jumped forward as the kids screamed.
“AHHHHH!!!!!”
They started running as fast as they could, back to the forest’s edge. Small feet rushing and hearts pounding, screaming while they hurried — Draco had never felt such immense fear.
Suddenly, he tripped over some roots, planting his face onto the ground. Pain rushed through his ankle and hands, unable to get back up and slipping on the muddy floor. He looked back up and called for his friends.
…but no one stopped.
He watched his friends as they kept running, leaving him behind — leaving him to die.
“AHHH!!” The blonde shrieked as a surge of pain hit him, coming from his leg. The creature had bit him, keeping its teeth deep in Draco’s calf. The monster. Then he got dragged through the ground as he whimpered.
The dragging stopped. Immediately, he felt shots of pain occurring at the same time, in different places of his body — His arms, his legs, his torso, his back, and even his face. He paralysed in fear. Terrified, closing his eyes as he felt his body being torn into pieces and bleeding from several places — pools of blood beginning to form in the ground.
Scratches so deep he could almost feel the claws puncturing each of his organs. Sharp teeth kept within his skin for what felt like hours, biting him like a chew toy. Blood kept spilling, the pool of it expanding — turning everything red. He bawled and yelled uncontrollably, whole body shaking in pain and terror. He weakly called for help. He called for his mom.
Oh he longed for his mom to rescue him.
But he knew she was not going to arrive. He was alone.
After what felt like years of torture, his body started hurting less and less, as he noticed dark spots on his vision and his breathing weakening. It was numbing. It felt calm. It felt reassuring.
Maybe this is what dying feels like.
Thus, he decided to give into it.