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Snow was falling through the roof of the Gold family household.
A collapsed panel had unveiled shoddy construction and years of snowfall, tropical storm abuse and bird nests had ripped straight through the room. Now Stay Gold stood on the top of a ladder, cigarette hanging out of her mouth and staring at the hole like she knew how to fix it.
She didn’t. She just figured she could figure it out, like everything else in her life. The heat had been shut off because she forgot to pay the oil guy, and he couldn’t come out in the snow; Point Flag’s father wouldn’t send any more money for the next week. It was figure out how to patch a roof or let her kids freeze to death. When she had gotten up that morning, all of her little goblins were curled up under the kotatsu. She scared them off, reminding them how easy it could be to burn a tail clean off. There was a moment where she felt a pang in her chest. Something like guilt, she guessed. Maybe she didn’t want her brats to be so cold that they actually got along and snuggled each other.
“Dreaaam!” Stay Gold shouted down the ladder. “DREEAAAM!!” She called down the hall.
In the kitchen, Dream Journey wiped her hands on the oversized apron. She gently wiped her little sister’s cheek with her thumb, giving the filly a warm smile even though she was shivering, “I’ll be right back, Meno, ‘kay?”
Fenomeno didn’t answer, too busy eating her cereal and watching the tv through the doorway to the living room. Beside her, Orfevre was doing the same. Lucky for Nakayama Festa, it was Dear Wink’s weekend, and Gold Ship had gone to breakfast with her mother (and pointedly without the rest of them). With Stay Gold busy, it was up to Dream Journey to make sure her little sisters were well-fed and cleaned up. For now, it would have to wait.
“Yes, mommy?” Dream Journey responded obediently, standing before Stay Gold with her hands behind her back.
“Go get your coat. I need your help with something.”
Dream Journey peered over the side of the roof, observing the banks of snow surrounding the house. It was still snowing with no sight of an end to the storm. She wasn’t so sure if she’d have time to shovel the snow, but Point Flag would chastise her if she didn’t. She could try later in the afternoon maybe.
“Hand me that,” Stay Gold grumbled around her cigarette and scarf. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. It’s freezing.”
Dream Journey furrowed her eyebrows. She had little under 45 seconds to figure out what “that” was before Stay Gold got annoyed with her. So far she still had all her lives. Stay Gold seemed like she was in a bad mood, so even one wrong move could strike Dream Journey out. She looked over the dusty toolbox, then at her mother’s hand. She chose the hammer.
Right choice! Stay Gold took it graciously. Dream listened to the rhythmic beat of the hammer. She even smiled a little. Dream felt like a success.
Then Stay Gold started to swear. And swear. And curse her dam and her sire and all her enemies and her friends, if she had any. With every harsh word, Dream Journey flinched a little harder. She watched Stay Gold kick the tool box right off the roof, the tools scattering into the yard and likely never to be found until the spring. Her sire sat down on the roof, her palm digging into her forehead as she texted on her flip phone.
Once Dream Journey sensed it safe, she took a few careful steps around Stay Gold, using her mittened hands to carefully climb until she saw what was wrong.
Stay Gold had fixed the roof! …and sealed them out of the house entirely. They hadn’t set up a way down outside either, and it was a two story drop from the roof.
“The fuck you mean you’re going shopping? With what money?” Stay Gold demanded, holding her phone up to her ear, “I thought you fucking said your dad couldn’t send any more money till after Christmas? So what am I supposed to do? When are you coming back?”
Dream Journey sat like a little raven beside her mother. She curled her knees to her chest, arms wrapping around her knees.
“Oh, fuck you, Point Flag, you aren’t keeping my kid from me on Christmas. Either you bring her back or I— hello? Point Flag? Hello?”
The phone flew off the roof, flying through the air till it landed in the middle of the street in front of their house. The cellphone shattered into a million pieces, scattering across the street, up and down it too. It wouldn’t have been that useful anyway, Dream realized as she exhaled the sigh she was holding. Fenomeno was too little to know what to do when the phone rang, and Orfevre couldn’t carry the ladder, despite how often she boasted about her nonexistent muscles.
Stay Gold lit a cigarette, puffing smoke out into the snowy air. She stared at the shattered phone with very little remorse for what she did. They were all better off if Stay Gold didn't have a phone. A gentle chattering was picked up by her ears, which were maybe the only Umamusume part of her that hadn't failed her or been ruined over the years. A sideways look found the source quickly. Dream Journey's little body was starting to feel the effects of sitting in the snow in a thin coat while the blizzard started to grow thicker.
It wasn't Stay Gold's fault that she was a poor mother. She never had a good one herself, so how was she supposed to understand how to handle any of this shit? Guess it was more... common sense not to let your kid on the roof and freeze.
Some sheet metal was leftover from their repairs, and Stay Gold gently grazed her free hand over it. It wasn't that thick but... Dream Journey wasn't exactly that big for her age either. With the right push she could sled right off the roof on it and hopefully fall in a snowbank. Then Dream could go get her the ladder.
"C'mere."
A hesitant conversation and some negotiating later, Dream Journey listened to her mother and sat down on the sheet metal. She was instructed to hold on, but there wasn't exactly anything she could hold on to. Dream decided to hold onto herself in the meanwhile. Her arms wrapped tight around her knees before she felt Stay Gold's hands on her shoulders. She felt her whole body jerk forward as she and the sheet metal both went flying off the roof. She tumbled forward, her body falling ahead of the sheet metal as she let out a shriek of pure fear and anticipation.
Stay Gold leaned over the edge of the roof as she looked down at the snowbank Dream went tumbling toward. Her eyes darted around as she tried to confirm that she didn't just accidentally murder her eldest. Her theory with the sheet metal worked out great-- albeit Dream Journey's little body did most of the sliding and falling. Twinkle-like giggles erupted from the snow pile as Dream Journey lifted her head and looked back up at her mother. She was covered in snow, but she was alive, and happy at that.
"Quit laughing and go get me the ladder!" Stay Gold shouted, but she couldn't deny her own smirk at the situation too. She even laughed a little as she watched Dream struggle to climb out of the snow. It reminded her of when Dream was real little, maybe two or three, and they took a vacation for Christmas at some ski resort, and Dream couldn't get a handle on the snowboard she so badly wanted the whole time they were there.
...that WAS Dream Journey, wasn't it? Or was that Nakayama Festa? No, that was certainly Oriental Art's family's place, and Dream Journey was three, and she was--
There was a moment where Stay Gold didn't realize that she was slipping. Her feet tended to have a mind of their own, so when they slid right out from under her she almost thought nothing of it. The neighborhood disappeared from view suddenly and reappeared upside down as she felt her back hit the roof. She couldn't catch herself after that. It happened so fast that she didn't register the pain in her leg right away either, instead more frustrated that she was dumb enough to fall off her own roof. Dream Journey arrived a moment later, dragging the ladder from around the back of the house. If it was possible for Dream Journey to get any paler, Stay Gold was willing to pay money just to see it again. Her pale blue eyes grew wide as her fingers slipped from the ladder. Stay Gold didn't see her again until she was hurrying outside, little sisters in tow, dragging the landline as far as it could go while she yammered for help.
Honestly, Stego was just glad she had somehow managed to hang onto that cigarette she lit.
Christmas Eve was spent in the Emergency Room getting a cast put on Stay Gold's foot, and patching up a cut Dream Journey had apparently gotten from the sheet metal when she slid off the roof. Stay Gold's injury was bad, just as all Umamusume leg injuries tend to be, but it wasn't unmanageable or anything she hadn't gone through before. Hell, the bruises she got from Point Flag tended to leave a worse impression these days. She'd have to figure out how to survive on crutches for the next few weeks, but it was an excuse not to go to work, so why should she complain? Point Flag was kind enough to drive her and the kids back to the house, only to turn around and announce that she and Gold Ship would be going to her father's place instead for Christmas. At that point, Stay Gold considered it a gift.
It had been years since Stay Gold had received a real Christmas present. The last time she did, she was still in high school, hanging on the arm of a boy who didn’t love her and fawning for a mare who wished she’d just leave her alone. Yet they both presented her with thoughtful gifts of clothes she actually liked and a pair of new boots. That was before everything went to shit, before she was reminded that she didn’t get to be happy, no matter how hard she fought for it.
There was a heavy pang of guilt and anger at herself as she was reminded that this was another year with barely anything under the tree, whether there was something for her or not. Each kid got at least two gifts, even if one of those was these ugly matching pajamas across the board. To be fair, none of the girls complained when they saw the presents under the tree, and each happily played with no issues while Stay Gold laid on the couch.
A toy pirate boat you could ride for Gold Ship, which currently sat unopened under the tree with them away at Point Flag's childhood home; A golden necklace and rings for Orfevre with “real jewels”, as she demanded (it was costume jewelry, but she was eight, and didn't know the difference); Even Dream Journey was pleased with her new journal. She asked for one for every gift-giving holiday, requesting the same model and the same cheap pen to go with it. She'd write so much in it that by the time another holiday or birthday came, she was ready for the next. Then, there was little Fenomeno, who was happily driving her RC cop car all around her sisters, blaring the sirens loudly all throughout the house as she chased after it. Stay Gold didn't know how speakers that small and shitty could be that loud. She would have to take the batteries out of that part of the car after Meno went to bed.
The last gift left under the tree was Nakayama Festa’s. It was wrapped in green and blue paper, with a newspaper bow on top. The colt should’ve arrived this morning with her mother, but Stego wasn’t necessarily complaining that they were late. Exchanges always made her feel like crap. Dear Wink had a tendency to nag even though they weren’t together anymore. Even though she hadn't been around in years.
Where’s her shoes, why isn’t this swept up, you can’t take the kids out to eat every day, you need to work out a little more.
Demands were her specialty. It wasn't always that way; Dear Wink only got uptight after they broke up, and she felt they should be more responsible. It ticked Stay Gold off to see her exes all dissolve into these perfect dams who's children were their "everything". The wanderlust Dear Wink had was like a distant memory now.
They say if you speak too much of the devil, he'll come knocking at your door. Even knowing this saying Stay Gold still found herself startled by the commanding knock at the door. She sat up to go open it, but Dear Wink let herself in. Within seconds, Nakayama Festa was throwing herself into Stego's lap, knocking her back into the couch cushions.
"Shit!" Stego grunted in annoyance, "You're getting too old for that crap, you know that?"
"Where's my presents, old man?" Festa demanded, pushing her sweater sleeve up her arm. Her attention was stolen as Fenomeno came running back into the room, the cop car crashing into their sire's broken foot.
Parenting. Stay Gold was still pretty sure she hated it.
Dear Wink shooed her own child off of Stay Gold's lap, her hand landing on her hip as she raised her eyebrow at Fenomeno. She was close with Fenomeno's mother, De Laroche, so really she was somewhat of a "bonus" dam for Fenomeno. The filly briefly shrunk in embarrassment, ready to put herself in timeout, yet she was soon distracted by Nakayama Festa snatching the controller out of her hands.
"Naka! Ask first!" Fenomeno barked in her scolding voice as Festa continued to walk away with the car anyway, "It's my present! Go open yours! Santa brought that for me!"
"I just want to try!"
Their bickering faded into background noise until Dream Journey stepped in, redirecting Nakayama to her present. The girls then all focused in as the paper was torn away. Tension rose as the lid of the box was lifted, finally revealing...
...a card game called "Coyote".
Festa gasped sharply, "Holy crude!" She snatched the little box up out of the bigger one, holding it in the air like it was a million dollars, "Sheesh, Santa is a smart guy!"
"Why don't you go teach your sisters how to play in your room?" Dear Wink advised. The advice was taken immediately, the sisters scrambling one after the other and tearing up the steps. The door slammed and rattled the walls soon after.
Stay Gold sighed, then groaned loudly and allowed herself to feel that pain from the RC car in her leg. Who knew plastic could hurt that much?
"Where's the Grey Cunt?" Dear Wink asked, looking around the living room as she sat on the arm of the couch. She took out her own pack of cigarettes, patting the box on her wrist as she looked down at Stay Gold.
"Her dad's, where else?" Stay Gold snorted. She held out her hand for a cigarette. Dear Wink did not give her one.
"Why are you with her again? Can't be money."
"Could you not? It's Christmas."
Dear Wink fell silent.
"What about you?" Stay Gold sneered, finally giving up on the cigarette and laying her arm across her eyes, "You still with the American? Elvis Preston? Eishin?"
"Could you not? It's Christmas."
Stay Gold was not a fan of how her exes so easily used her own words against her. Stay Gold was not a big fan of how her exes were people, too. She peeked out from under her arm, trying to keep her eyes from narrowing in a glare, to keep her tongue from hissing another insult. She took a pause as she watched Dear Wink fumble in her bag. A moment later she turned back to Stay Gold, offering a small box wrapped in golden paper. It shimmered from the Christmas tree, its white bow hastily tucked in the corner of the box.
"Merry Christmas." Dear Wink held the present out further, "You old bastard."
It had been years since Stay Gold gotten a gift. It was odd because she felt a small tremble in her hands as she accepted the box. It was amplified as she pulled the wrappings away and lifted the lid off the box. Inside, there was a keychain, at the end of which was a polar bear holding a soda bottle and wearing a red scarf. This kind of design was pretty popular in America. She supposed getting touristy items helped with her urges to run off, at least a little. Holding it up in the light, Stay Gold noticed that there were tiny gems on the fur too. Even if it was touristy, it was certainly meant to be a keepsake, maybe even too precious for someone like her to own.
"Why did you..."
"Don't. It's fine, just-- don't over think it, okay?" Dear Wink quickly stammered, holding her hands up to placate Stay Gold, "I don't expect anything. I don't even expect you to keep it. Just something... nice I wanted to do."
Stay Gold stared up at Dear Wink as she put the bear back in its box. She kept the box in her lap, her lips twitching between a frown and a smile. There were no words for what she wanted to say, no way for her to properly express herself. Even before she could muster a soft expression of gratitude, Dear Wink was leaving.
"I'll be back for her on New Years. Try not to kill her, 'kay? See you."
"...see you," Stay Gold replied, holding her hand up in a lazy wave.
The polar bear keychain would stay in its box. Stay Gold would hide it under her bed, then eventually in her keepsake box that held all that was left of her travels. She wrapped it in what remained of her racing silks. It somehow survived more than one move, inevitably coming with her when she'd move back in with Fenomeno decades down the line. Ironically, Nakayama Festa would find the bear when they were cleaning out Stay Gold's room, after their stubborn, heartless sire passed onto the next life. Her dam wouldn't die for another few years, but Naka would keep this secret to herself. She'd keep it on her own keys after that.