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The first Christmas she remembered she was around five. It was full of lights and gifts and foods, and her parents' arms and love. When she turned six, she started to take part of the preparation, put up the decorations, wrapping some gifts (not the one for her obviously), give a hand in the kitchen on simple tasks, and she got the best hugs and the most beautiful words of love.
Most of the next Christmas looked like this. Growing up, she helped more and more. Each year seemed better than the last. Christmas had become her favourite time of the year.
It only got better when she got to spend it with Hecate by her side, around their fourth year at Cackle's. She had discovered that Hecate was spending most of her Christmas alone and for Pippa, it wouldn't do. So she invited her. Her parents welcomed Hecate with those lights and gifts and foods and arms and love. It was Pippa's favourite Christmas by far.
Thinking of it, she probably knew then she was in love with Hecate. at least, her parents knew. And Pippa was sure of one thing : she wanted to spend every Christmas with Hecate starting from here.
But then everything fell apart. Hecate had left. Christmas was tinted with that pain. No longer her favourite time of the year. No day was her favourite anymore. But her parents still tried, lights and gifts and foods and arms and love. And for a few tiny moment she felt better. But she was thinking about Hecate, probably alone somewhere without all of this. And it was breaking her already broken heart.
After she started drinking, Christmas was probably one of the worst time of the year. There was champagne and wine and it was almost expected to drink. No one noticed how she drank too much. She gave the impression to be jolly, wearing a Christmas hat, laughing at her father poor jokes, eating until she can't anymore, making thoughtful gifts and trying to enjoy her parents arms and love. Trying to return it, with a lukewarm success.
Two Christmas went like this, flooded with alcohol and misery, well hidden under a mask, going unnoticed. And her misery not being noticed broke her a little more. So she drank more.
The year after, she spent Christmas with Pete, at the clinic. She knew she couldn't handle the holidays. Because of the champagne and wine. Because she couldn't face her parents. Because she couldn't face the memories of that Christmas with Hecate actually. But thanks to Pete, it was a bit of a nice time.
The next years, she got welcome with his chosen family, a bunch of kind hearted people, a tad misfits maybe. It was exactly what she needed. No one judged, no one said a thing about her sadness, everyone was sweet to her. They were funny and in the end her Christmas was soft, gentle and warm.
Many Christmas went this way, until she found the bravery to spend it with her parents anew. She brought donuts to help her cope. So it was less scary, almost kind of nice. But still, there was sadness. In that house, she saw the ghost of Hecate everywhere. this time, her parents noticed, but they didn't say a word and for once Pippa was grateful for that. She didn't want to dwell on this.
Then she choose to alternate. A year with her parents, the next one with Pete and his friends.
Until Valeria came. They spend two years together. She didn't understand why Pippa would spend Christmas with friends and not family. Pippa didn't explain anything, she was scared that the truth of her addiction would drove Valeria away. So Pippa caved and went to spend Christmas in Valeria's family. They didn't stop proposing her alcohol, despite her numerous refusal. It was hard. And it lacked the warmth, the kindness, the fun. Valeria didn't seem to notice. Pippa ate her donuts alone at a table full of people.
After Valeria left, she came back to celebrate with Pete. She welcome them to her house. She brought her family too. It was new, less stained by Hecate memories. And her parents welcomed Pete and his friends, with lights and gifts and food and arms and love. Pippa loved that, it was her new family.
After having built her school, she celebrated at Pentangle's, with her own lights and gifts and food and arms and love. Pete loved every secon dof it, because truth be told, Pippa had become an expert in feeding him. Also, the donuts.
It was easier years after years. She had hoped that Christmas could become once more her favourite time of the year. It felt possible at least. But there was still the ghost of Hecate in her mind truth be told.
The year she had been brave enough to face Hecate, to tell her the truth was the first year in more than thirty years she spent Christmas with Hecate. It was stressful to say the least. She brought donuts, lot of it. And lights and gifts and food and her arms and love. And Hecate accept it all to Pippa's great relief.
The next year, Pippa invited Hecate to celebrate with her parents. It was uncomfortable at first. But after a time, and one very secretive talk between her parents and Hecate, everyone relaxed. Her parents were convinced, Hecate was now here to stay. So Christmas was full of love and warmth and Pippa couldn't ask for more.
From now on, Christmas was back to being her favourite time of the year. there were no more sadness, no more cravings, no more loneliness.
It took much convincing for Hecate to spend Christmas with Pete and his friends. But Hecate befriend quickly Pete female friends. And it was the best Christmas Pippa ever had. It had been her most precious gift. Lights and gifts and food and arms and love. So much love.
She wished for every Christmas to be like this. (And it would)