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The snow crunched under their feet. Daniel flicked his cigarette onto the sidewalk and crushed it with his boot. Busy Christmas shoppers filled the streets around them.
Benji gave him a sidelong glance.
“What are you worried about, Daniel?”
Daniel did not meet his eyes. He looked straight ahead and kept walking.
“What makes you think I’m worried about something?”
Benji rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“You are remarkably easy to read.”
Daniel raised his eyebrows and briefly looked over at Benji.
“I thought you said you weren’t going to read my mind anymore.”
“I don’t need to read your mind.”
Daniel sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets.
Armand and Sybelle were at the opera, leaving Daniel and Benji to their own devices. Benji had wanted to see the tree in Rockefeller Center and convinced Daniel to come along.
“Can’t we just go look at the tree?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
“All right.”
They walked the rest of the way without speaking, listening to the bustle around them. As they got closer, they could hear the scrape of skates. Daniel paused at the top of the stairs that led down to the rink.
“Well, there it is in all its glory.”
Benji crossed his arms and surveyed the massive pine decked in lights.
“The lights are new this year. They’re solar powered.”
“Neat.”
Daniel moved out of the way of a family headed towards the rink. He took up a spot just beside and rested his hands on the railings. Benji joined him.
“I take it you are not impressed.”
Daniel shrugged.
“It’s pretty. I just never understood all the fuss.”
Benji crossed his arms and looked up at the tree.
“Perhaps, it’s because I did not grow up with such traditions. I find them fascinating, especially in a society that trumpets its modernity quite as much as this one. I did not expect to find Americans following such quaint, old customs.”
Daniel laughed as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes.
“Don’t say that too loud. Us Americans are awfully proud of our quaint, old customs.”
Daniel offered Benji the pack, but Benji waived them away.
“Not enough to think about where they came from or why you still follow them.”
Daniel lit his cigarette and took a puff.
“Yeah, self-reflection isn’t exactly our strong suit.”
Benji grasped the railing and watched the skaters on the rink. Some sped past with ease while others wobbled within an arm’s length of the boards. A small child sat crying on the ice where it had fallen. Concerned parents rushed to comfort it and help it back to its feet.
“Do you skate, Daniel?”
“Not since I was a kid. It was never really my thing. What about you?”
“No, my homeland is not known for its ice and snow.”
Daniel raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, but you’ve been in New York, what, twenty years? You never even tried it?”
Benji shrugged.
“I’ve never had much interest. Sybelle sometimes goes on her own. She’s quite good. Very graceful.”
“Do you know if Armand has ever tried it?”
“Not that I’m aware, but I’d have to ask.”
They stood for a few moments watching the skaters below the tree and its twinkling lights.
“Do you still want to know what I’m worried about?”
“Of course.”
Daniel took a deep breath.
“It’s probably stupid.”
Daniel took a drag of his cigarette as Benji patiently waited for him to continue.
“I guess I’m worried that it’ll all fall apart again.”
“Have you been fighting?”
Daniel shook his head.
“No, that’s the thing. Everything’s been great. Really great. I’ve been happy, happier than I’ve been in I don’t know how long.”
Benji turned his back to the skaters and leaned against the railing.
“So, what’s the problem?”
Daniel shrugged.
“I don’t know. There’s just this sense of foreboding, like it’s all going to go wrong again any minute. That I’m going to screw it all up somehow.”
“Have you talked to Armand about it?”
Daniel shook his head.
“God no.”
“Why not?”
“Because then he’d just worry about it, too, and he’s got enough worries. Anyway, like I said, it’s stupid. There’s nothing to worry about. I’m just inventing problems.”
“No, it’s not stupid. I think I know what you mean.”
Daniel furrowed his brows together in disbelief as he raised his cigarette to his lips.
“I felt something similar when we came back to New York after Sybelle and I were turned. It all seemed too good to be true. I was too happy. It felt like I would be punished for it somehow.”
“Do you still feel that way?”
Benji shook his head.
“No, I talked it over with Sybelle.”
“Oh yeah? And what did she have to say about it?”
“She said that I was used to catastrophe. My life had been chaos, and for the first time, it wasn’t. I was in a stable environment with people who cared about me, people who wouldn’t sell me to an American man for a pittance to do whatever he wanted with. She also reminded me that no one could ever do that to me again. I could easily overpower or kill any mortal who tried, and Armand would annihilate any vampires that I couldn’t handle myself.”
Daniel let out a puff of smoke into the cold night air.
“Damn, Sybelle would have made a great therapist.”
Benji nodded.
“She would.”
“Maybe, we could get Fareed to talk her into it. The newly minted vampire community could use a resident therapist.”
Benji laughed, his breath rising like a cloud in the cold night air.
“I don’t think she’d be interested. It would take too much time away from her music.”
Daniel laughed, his cigarette just in front of his lips.
“Too bad. I’d love to hear her take on Lestat and whatever’s wrong with him.”
“She’s read all the books. I’m sure she has an opinion. You’ll have to ask her sometime.”
Daniel dropped the butt of his cigarette on the ground at his feet.
“I’ll have to remember to do that.”
Benji pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the camera. He held it out to Daniel.
“Can I ask you for a favor, Daniel?”
Daniel took the phone and took a few steps back to get both Benji and the tree in the shot.
“I usually take a selfie with the tree but since you’re here.”
“All right, say cheese.”
Benji smiled while Daniel took the picture.
“Why do people say that?”
Daniel gave Benji the phone.
“Say what?”
Benji flicked through the photos to make sure there was a good shot.
“Why do people always want you to say cheese when you’re taking a picture?”
Daniel shrugged.
“I always figured it’s because you look like you’re smiling when you say cheese, but who knows, really.”
Benji put the phone back in his pocket.
“I think I’m ready to head back if you are.”
Daniel was pulling another cigarette out of the pack.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
He once again offered Benji the pack only to be waived away.
“What gives? You aren’t one to turn down free cigarettes.”
Benji shrugged.
“It saves me from getting lectured for my bad habits.”
Daniel put his cigarette to his lips and lit it.
“It probably saves me getting lectured for being in proximity.”
Benji smiled.
“Exactly.”
The walk back to Trinity Gate was quiet. There were fewer people the further they got from the tree and the hustle and bustle of Christmas shoppers. The streets were mostly empty except for a few people walking their dogs.
“Do you guys usually have a tree? Armand and I sometimes got one, but that was mostly because of me.”
Benji nodded.
“We do. Sybelle grew up having one, so she likes to get one. I like them, but I don’t really have any emotional attachment to them. I like the ornaments, though. Armand and I have a game of trying to find the strangest ones.”
Daniel laughed.
“Yeah, that sounds like him. I can only imagine what he comes up with.”
“Oh no, there are rules. We can’t just take any object and make it into an ornament ourselves. It has to have been purposely manufactured to be a Christmas ornament.”
“Okay, that doesn’t sound as fun.”
Benji smiled.
“You’d be surprised at what we’ve found.”
Daniel chuckled, sending smoke into the air in front of him.
“Oh yeah, like what?”
“Guns, bullets, various food items. I have a glass pizza slice that I’m particularly fond of.”
Daniel’s eyebrows shot up and he turned his head towards Benji.
“Seriously? Guns?”
Benji shrugged.
“What can I say? Americans love their guns.”
Daniel put a hand on his head.
“I know but Christmas ornaments? Jesus, this country is fucked up.”
“Impressively so.”
Daniel laughed, filling the cold air around him with the fog of his breath.
“So, do you guys usually do presents or anything?”
“Sometimes.”
Daniel pursed his lips.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what it says. Sometimes we do, and sometimes we don’t.”
Daniel shook his head.
“Are there rules to this sometimes? Is it every other year? Every five years? Does the moon have to be full or something?”
Benji rolled his eyes.
“It isn’t a complicated decision, Daniel. We discuss it, and some years we decide to have presents and some years we don’t.”
Daniel nodded along.
“Okay, but when does that decision get made?”
“Usually a few weeks before Christmas.”
“So, you haven’t decided yet?”
Benji chucked.
“No, we would have included you in that discussion if we had since you are a permanent member of the household now.”
Daniel felt his face grow hot. He glanced down at his feet and smiled.
“We’ll have to call a family meeting.”
Benji looked over at Daniel with his brows furrowed together.
“What on earth is a family meeting?”
Daniel laughed at the quizzical look on Benji’s face.
“It’s when the family sits down to discuss something and decide what to do. It’s supposed to be democratic since we’re so keen on democracy here, but it’s mostly when parents pretend to listen to their children’s concerns and then decide to do what they were going to do anyway.”
Benji laughed out loud.
“I guess you and Armand are sort of like our parents.”
Daniel blushed.
“Look, Armand may see you as his children, but I hardly think I’ve been around to qualify as a parental figure. Maybe, we’ll just call it a household meeting instead.”
Benji waved away his concerns.
“No, no, I like it. We’ll have a family meeting, but we will make sure to keep it democratic.”
“Family meeting it is, I guess.”
“I know this will be your first Christmas with us, Daniel, but we just did gifts last year. It takes me a few years to generate new ideas.”
Benji, Sybelle, Daniel, and Armand sat at one end of the grand dining table that had served as a council table for Lestat’s new regime. Armand had thought it only right to have a family meeting around a proper meeting table.
Daniel nodded.
“That’s fair.”
“Oh, come on, we’re not that hard to buy for if you stop thinking about Beethoven for five minutes.”
Sybelle gave Benji a dirty look and shoved him playfully.
Daniel couldn’t help but smile at how like real siblings they were. He looked over at Armand, who was looking on the scene fondly.
“Perhaps waiting until next year will allow you three to get to know each other better.”
Armand squeezed Daniel’s hand.
“Daniel and I have known each other for many years, but it feels like the three of you have only just met. It might be difficult or awkward to buy each other gifts on such a short acquaintance.”
Benji was absently drumming his fingers on the table. Sybelle put her hand over his to stop him.
“Well, Sybelle isn’t hard to buy for. Anything Beethoven related and she’ll love it. And I probably picked up enough of his thoughts when he first got here to get some ideas.”
Sybelle rolled her eyes.
“I still say we wait until next year. Christmas isn’t just about presents.”
It was Benji’s turn to roll his eyes.
“Well, you could have fooled me.”
Armand sighed.
“No fighting, please.”
Sybelle and Benji both turned to Armand, their faces all innocence. Benji threw his hands up incredulously.
“But we weren’t fighting.”
Armand raised his eyebrows.
“Yet.”
Sybelle and Benji exchanged a look and smiled at each other. Sybelle clasped her hands in front of her on the table.
“I promise that we won’t fight.”
Armand rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“Perhaps, we should leave it up to Daniel.”
They all turned and looked expectantly at Daniel who was suddenly nervous.
“Jeez, no pressure!”
The other three burst out laughing. Daniel was confused.
“Why is that funny? It really does feel like a lot of pressure.”
Armand shook his head.
“Then, perhaps, I should make the call myself? I agree with Sybelle. We shall wait until next year for gifts. We hardly need anything anyway.”
Sybelle turned to Benji and gave him an exultant smile. In return, Benji stuck his tongue out at her. Benji sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.
“All right, no presents.”
Daniel glanced at Armand who was once again rolling his eyes at them.
“What else do you guys usually do? Benji said you usually have a tree. Is it real or fake?”
Sybelle and Benji answered in unison.
“Real!”
Armand laughed.
“I rather like the fake ones. I find them rather fascinating.”
Daniel laughed.
“What don’t you find fascinating?”
Armand turned to smile at him.
“I make no apologies for recognizing the world’s many wonders, Daniel.”
Daniel smiled back.
“Okay, real tree, then. Benji mentioned an ornament contest you two have.”
Sybelle groaned and put her face in her hand.
“I take it you’re not a fan there, Sybelle?”
Sybelle sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
“We have a tree covered in the most ridiculous things you can imagine. Why can’t we just have a nice, normal tree with normal ornaments like snowmen and reindeer?”
Benji loudly guffawed at the suggestion.
“Because that would be boring!”
Daniel got the feeling that this was an old argument. Armand just laughed and laughed.
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A few nights later, a massive tree was delivered to Trinity Gate. It was the biggest tree Daniel had ever seen inside a building that wasn’t a mall or government building. It was over eight feet tall and almost touched the ceiling in the grande parlor.
The tree stood in the middle of the room with the furniture reconfigured around it. Then, boxes of decorations appeared. They each had their own box, carefully labelled. Benji and Sybelle bickered and laughed as they untangled the lights. Armand appeared with a ladder.
“What do you need a ladder for? Can’t you just…”
Benji and Sybelle cut Daniel off.
“No, he can’t!”
“It’s tradition!”
Armand smiled and shook his head as he leaned the ladder against a wall. He joined Daniel on the ornate settee, slipping his hand into Daniel’s.
“They love traditions.”
“I can see that.”
Decorating the tree was a raucous affair. Sybelle rolled her eyes at Benji and Armand’s bizarre ornaments as she decorated her side with snowflakes and angels and reindeer. Armand and Benji filled theirs with guns and bullet casings and bagels and pizza slices.
When Sybelle went to set up the ladder, Daniel stopped her.
“I’m taller than all of you. Let me see if I can reach.”
Benji yelled from the other side of the room where he was unwrapping still more glass ornaments.
“No need to rub it in, Daniel!”
Daniel thought back on putting up the tree with his parents. His father would swear when the lights were tangled from last year. His mother would remind him that she had told him to put them away more carefully, and that would only make him swear more. Then, he would end up dropping them on the floor and some of the bulbs would break. And he would swear and yell some more. Eventually, he would disappear and leave Daniel and his mother to finish.
Watching the three of them smile and laugh as they decorated the tree made Daniel wonder if this is what other families had been like. When he was a kid, he’d always assumed that every family was like his. But maybe they weren’t. Maybe this is what things were like in other people’s houses.
Daniel felt a twinge of jealousy for those other kids, ones who had happy memories of laughing as they put up the tree, whose fathers didn’t disappear and come back reeking of whiskey. He wondered what his life would have been like if he’d grown up in one of those families. He wondered what he would have been like.
Sybelle interrupted Daniel’s reverie by calling him over to hang something high up for her. He was happy to oblige.
They finally had to get the ladder out to put the star on top.
“We used to have an angel,” Sybelle explained. “But it fell and broke one year, and we got the star instead.”
The star was made of finally hammered gold wires that caught the light. Sybelle climbed the ladder and delicately placed it atop the tree.
“Why not another angel?”
Sybelle shrugged.
“We felt like a change.”
After helping hang the tinsel, Daniel joined Armand while Sybelle and Benji put away the empty boxes.
“So, who won the contest this year? You or Benji?”
“He did. He usually wins. He can find anything through the computer. It makes it too easy for him.”
“Yeah, which one is this year’s?”
Armand pointed out a shiny black ornament. Daniel stepped closer to the tree to inspect it.
“Is that a grenade?”
Armand nodded.
“It is, indeed, a grenade.”
“And which one was yours?”
Armand pointed to a wavy ornament with red and white streaks.
“It is meant to be bacon.”
Daniel threw back his head and laughed.
“I have got to get in on this next year.”
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Despite the group’s decision to abstain from gifts, Daniel couldn’t help feeling that he should get something for Armand. He had always showered Daniel in gifts of all kinds, something Daniel had rarely reciprocated. It felt important to mark their first Christmas together in so many years.
Marius didn’t abide by Christian holidays, no matter their pagan origins, so they had never observed it. But seeing the decorations and hearing the carols wherever they were living had always lifted his spirits a little. It would be his first time really celebrating Christmas in almost twenty years.
Still, a gift presented a problem. Armand really was a man who had everything, and if he didn’t, he could easily buy it. He wracked his brain trying to think of something. He thought perhaps he could find an antique that would match one of Armand’s carefully curated rooms, but Daniel didn’t know anything about antiques.
He tried to remember every little obsession Armand had ever had. Perhaps, there was some new kitchen appliance Armand hadn’t tried or a new kind of telescope.
He flipped through a catalogue of possibilities in his mind, discarding them all. He searched for tapestries online, but it really was difficult to find ones as large as those at the chateau. In desperation, he thought perhaps he could convince Louis to help him steal one of Lestat’s. Either that or rob the Met. He was sure Benji would be game for a heist.
Daniel thought about abandoning the idea altogether. After all, who would know? But he still felt like he could think of something. Perhaps, he had been going about it all wrong. Perhaps, it should be something small, something personal.
He tried to remember every inside joke they’d ever had, every trip they’d taken, every strange thing Armand had ever said or done. He spent days ruminating on it to no avail.
He had all but given up when an idea popped into his head while at the theatre with Armand. If he didn’t know it was impossible, he could have sworn that Armand planted the idea himself.
It would make an odd Christmas gift, but it was the best idea he’d had.
On Christmas Eve, the whole household attended midnight mass. Sybelle and Benji were especially keen on the idea, saying it had become a tradition. They sat in the very last pew. Armand gave Sybelle and Benji a staunch look when they couldn’t completely stifle their giggles. The group ducked out during communion. The walk home was full of raucous laughter and singing.
They spent the remainder of the night singing Christmas carols while Sybelle accompanied them on the piano. It was the only time that Daniel had heard her play something other than Beethoven.
As Daniel waited for Armand to join him in his room, he pulled a little box out of his bedside table and set it on the bed beside him. He nervously ran his finger over the top. He thought of quietly slipping the box back into the drawer and forgetting the whole thing.
When Armand finally arrived in his festive red pyjamas, Daniel shifted a little to hide the box from view. He took a deep breath.
“So, I know we agreed that we wouldn’t do gifts, but I got you something. It’s just a small thing, though.”
Armand sighed and shook his head, trying to hide his smile.
“You have always had a problem following instructions, beloved.”
Daniel shrugged and placed the box between them.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
He hadn’t gift wrapped it, so all Armand had to do was lift the lid. Daniel’s heart was beating so fast it felt as if it were going to burst through his chest.
Once the lid was off, Armand just stared down at the box, one half in either hand.
“I know it’s a bit weird to give it as a Christmas gift…”
Daniel waited for Armand to say something, but Armand just continued staring at the box in silence. Daniel was starting to panic.
“I hope you don’t have a huge collection of them in one of your houses that I don’t know about or something.”
Armand shook his head, still looking at the box.
“No, I do not have a collection. The one my mother gave me was the last one I possessed.”
Armand took the egg out of the box and held it up, slowly turning it to study the intricate design. The egg had been divided in half with eight-pointed stars on either side that had reminded Daniel of poinsettias.
“I thought the red made it a little Christmassy.”
Armand put the egg back in its box and carefully replaced the lid. When he blinked, a few tears fell down his cheeks, which he quickly wiped away. He put the box on the table next to him and turned to Daniel.
“Thank you, Daniel. It is beautiful.”
More tears streamed down his face.
“But I do not have anything for you.”
Daniel wiped away his tears.
“You weren’t supposed to get me anything. I’m the one who didn’t follow the rules, remember?”
Armand nodded and laughed as more tears streamed down his face. Daniel put an arm around him and wiped away more tears.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Armand put his hand on Daniel’s face and smiled.
“I am not upset, beloved. I am happy. It is a very thoughtful gift. I have often wondered what became of the one my mother gave me. I am sure it has long since turned to dust just as she did.”
Armand put his head on Daniel’s shoulder and sighed. Daniel rested his cheek against it.
“The woman at the shop said the symbols and colours have meanings, but I just liked the look of that one.”
Armand smiled.
“You chose well, beloved.”