Work Text:
Gena:Hey
Gena:Is Ethan mad?
Gena:Like, am I super fired?
Chloe:I’m not sure I should be associating with you right now, let alone assisting a spy operation.
Gena:Oh, come on!
Gena:You’d make such a hot femme fatale
Chloe:Umm.
Gena:Please?
Chloe:Fine. He doesn’t seem mad. Rolled his eyes, mostly. You’re lucky. I can’t believe you got into a bar fight at work.
Gena:It wasn’t a fight! No fists were thrown! If anything, it was a bar shouting match!
Chloe:A bar shouting match at your place of employment.
Gena:Oh my god. He started it
Chloe:I don’t think he did.
Gena:He was wearing a Boston jersey, Chloe. Boston!
Chloe:Okay?
Gena:And then to have the audacity to say Ilya Rozanov is a better player than my husband Shane Hollander? Asshole.
Chloe:You’re married?
Gena:What? No
Chloe:But you just said your husband was some guy named Shane?
Gena:Yeah, my husband Shane Hollander
Gena:Wait
Gena:Do you not know who Shane Hollander is?
Chloe:Should I?
Gena:YOU LIVE IN MONTREAL
Gena:YOU WORK AT A SPORTS BAR
Chloe:Yeah, I work at one, I don’t watch sports.
Gena:WHAT THE FUCK?
Gena:COME OVER RIGHT THE FUCK NOW
Gena:WE ARE WATCHING HOCKEY. I AM INTRODUCING YOU TO MY BEAUTIFUL HUSBAND SHANE HOLLANDER
Chloe:I am literally working right now.
Gena:Come over afterwards, then! Holy shit, Chloe. I will tolerate many sins, but not this
Chloe:Sorry about your playoff game.
Gena:It’s whatever. Can’t win them all, right? Just happy to be there
Gena:Fuck, I hope we win next year
Gena:Wait, did you watch my game?
Chloe:I found it on TV.
Chloe:I want to say you’re really good, but I still don’t know the rules of hockey. You looked like you hit the puck a lot?
Gena:You did not just find it on TV. There is only one channel that carries it, and even then only barely. Chloe, did you watch hockey on purpose?
Chloe:Okay, I looked up where to watch your hockey game. Happy?
Gena:Ecstatic
Gena:FUCK FUCKING BOSTON
Gena:FUCK FUCKING ROZANOV
Gena:UGH
Chloe:Umm?
Gena:Boston won the Stanley Cup. :(
Chloe:I’m sorry, Boston won a water bottle?
Gena:Chloe, oh my god
Gena:Random question
Gena:No pressure
Chloe:?
Gena:Do you want to come to my hockey game?
Gena:Since you watched it on TV last season
Gena:I mean, I have tickets
Gena:And you can have them
Gena:The tickets that I have
Chloe:Is this a riddle?
Chloe:And sure, just let me know when.
Gena:Oh my god, did you see that game last night? My husband is so hot and good at hockey
Gena:We are taking the fucking Stanley Cup this spring, fuck fucking Boston
Chloe:Yeah, no, still not keeping up with hockey. And what did Boston ever do to you?
Gena:What do you mean not keeping up with hockey? You’ve watched every one of my games this season! You know how many goals I’ve scored better than I do!
Gena:And Boston SUCKS. That’s what they did to me
Chloe:Fine, I’m only keeping up with the women’s league, happy? It’s already a lot of sports for me to try to follow.
Chloe:Didn’t Boston win last year? Are you sure they suck?
Gena:OH MY GOD, CHLOE. IF YOU BECOME A BOSTON FAN I WILL FUCKING DISOWN YOU
Chloe:???
Chloe:Wouldn’t you have to own me first to disown me?
Chloe:Fuck my life, how do I take back a text?
Chloe:I’m not going to become a Boston fan! I’m not a hockey fan at all! I was just saying!
Gena:There is only one way to fix this and regain my favor. Repeat after me: “I, Chloe, acknowledge that Gena’s husband Shane Hollander is the best there ever was at hockey and that Montreal will win the next Stanley Cup.”
Chloe:I, Chloe, will not call some random hockey player you’ve never met your husband, but I will promise to support whatever sports team you tell me to.
Gena:SOME RANDOM HOCKEY PLAYER???
Gena:This is my year! I can feel it!
Chloe:Hell yes, it is.
Gena:My husband is about to win the Stanley Cup. I’m about to win the Clarkson Cup. We’ll be hockey’s best power couple.
Chloe:I will be cheering on you, specifically.
Gena:Nooo, Chloe. You have to watch the Stanley Cup game with me. I got tickets to the Montreal game. You can have one of my Hollander jerseys!
Chloe:One of them? You have multiple?
Gena:Of course!
Gena:Do you want the one with or without sequins?
Chloe:Ugh.
Chloe:Without.
Gena:YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN AT THE BOY AQUARIUM!!!
Chloe:The what.
Gena:YOU’LL SEE
Gena:Chloe, holy shit. Where did you get that jersey?
Chloe:Bought it. Is it not okay?
Gena:Not okay? It’s fucking perfect
Gena:I didn’t know they sold my jersey??? Am I famous???
Chloe:Umm. I had to custom order it.
Gena:You are literally the best
Gena:The best friend ever
Chloe:Anything for you, Gena
10:15 PM
Gena:DID YOU SEE THAT?
Chloe:You sure did win at sports!
Gena:LET’S FUCKING GO
Gena:What the fuck?
Chloe:?
Gena:Rose Landry stole my husband
Chloe:Sorry?
Gena:Here I was, working at the sports bar, waiting for Shane Hollander to just happen to wander in one day and propose to me, and she snatches him up from under my nose?
Chloe:I’m sorry, Shane Hollander married Rose Landry? And this is in the news for some reason?
Gena:SHE DIDN’T MARRY HIM, OH MY GOD CHLOE
Gena:They’re dating, it’s all over Twitter
Chloe:I mean, if there’s no ring on his finger, you can still steal him back, right?
Gena:Oh my god, I love you, Chloe
Chloe:….
Chloe:Love you, too.
Chloe:GENA. YOU CAN’T JUST PUNCH PEOPLE. Fuck, now I’m the one using caps lock.
Gena:Okay, so first of all, it was provoked
Chloe:I question your definition of provoked.
Gena:SECONDLY, you are allowed to punch people you’re playing hockey against while you’re on the ice
Chloe:They put you in the penalty box. I don’t think they put you in the penalty box for following the rules of hockey.
Gena:THIRDLY, whose side are you on here??? I got punched, too! My poor face!
Chloe:You literally punched her first.
Gena:And my poor fist! Ow!
Chloe:What would your husband think of you punching someone on the ice?
Gena:Fuck.
Chloe:LOL
Gena:I don’t see what’s so funny
Chloe:No one has ever fumbled the bag as hard as Shane Hollander fumbled Rose Landry.
Gena:Her loss
Chloe:Nah.
Gena:Ugh.
Gena:Why are you so mean to my husband?
Chloe:Didn’t you want them to break up?
Gena:Yes? No? I don’t know!
Gena:I wanted to defeat Rose Landry in hand-to-hand combat for his heart! Not have her quietly break up with him, like, ugh. My poor baby boy.
Chloe:Gena. You have no idea what Shane Hollander is like in person. Maybe he’s rude.
Gena:He can’t be rude!
Chloe:Why not?
Gena:He’s Canadian
Gena:MY BOY. MY BABY BOY. MY HUSBAND
Chloe:Oh, shit.
Gena:Are you watching??? Do you see what they’ve done to him???
Chloe:Just turned it on when I got your text.
Chloe:What happened? Is he okay?
Gena:NO HE IS NOT OKAY. IT’S ALL BOSTON’S FAULT
Chloe:Hold on, watching the replay.
Chloe:Yikes. Looks like an accident, though.
Gena:AN ACCIDENT? BOSTON IS TRYING TO ASSASSINATE MY HUSBAND AND YOU CALL IT AN ACCIDENT? JAIL! JAIL FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!
Chloe:Do you want me to come over?
Gena:Bring donuts. AND VENGEANCE
Gena:“A big moment for that fan”
Gena:Lord, I see what you have done for others…
Chloe:That’s not a random fan. It’s obviously his boyfriend.
Gena:The announcer said it was a fan!
Gena:Don’t ruin my dreams!
Chloe:What dreams? I thought Shane Hollander was your husband.
Gena:He is! And that’s why one day, after winning the Stanley Cup he’s going to look into the stands, see me sitting there, and say, “That’s my wife!”
Gena:And then, I’m going to levitate down to the ice
Chloe:So there’s magic in this scenario?
Gena:Then I’ll take the Stanley Cup with one hand
Chloe:You’re stealing his trophy from him?
Gena:And I’ll lift Shane Hollander with the other hand
Chloe:So definitely magic.
Gena:Hey! I can deadlift 300 pounds!
Chloe:Fuck me
Gena:What?
Chloe:Nothing
Chloe:So you’re bench pressing Shane Hollander
Gena:And then I make out with him and everybody cheers
Chloe:Wait, if you’re at a Montreal game, where am I in this scenario?
Gena:You were sitting beside me in the stands, obviously!
Chloe:Bit rude of you to leave me behind to go make out with some guy.
Gena:I’m sorry? Did you want to make out with my husband, too?
Chloe:No.
Gena:LMAO
Gena:Why don’t you respond to my texts right when I send them?
Chloe:I was bartending. You literally know my work schedule. We have the same job.
Chloe:What’s up?
Gena:You can check your phone during work! I do all the time!
Chloe:Weird that Ethan gives you less hours than me.
Gena:I know, right? Is he secretly a Boston fan or something?
Gena:Anyway, did you watch it?
Chloe:Watch what?
Gena:The press conference! It must have been on! Rozanov got traded to Ottawa!
Chloe:Who?
Gena:Rozanov! He played for Boston!
Chloe:Okay?
Gena:He bullied my poor husband!
Chloe:Somehow I think multimillionaire hockey star Shane Hollander was fine.
Gena:Whatever
Gena:Boston isn’t winning another Stanley Cup without Rozanov there, that’s for sure.
Gena:And Ottawa? Why would he go there? Does he hate winning?
Chloe:Maybe he likes Ottawa?
Gena:Chloe. Be serious.
Gena:They’ve never even been to the playoffs
Gena:Maybe it’s a ploy
Chloe:To join a losing hockey team?
Gena:Ugh, I don’t know
Gena:Whatever, he sucks and they suck, they deserve each other
Gena:Shane Hollander would NEVER join Ottawa
Gena:NEVER
Gena:OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
Chloe:It’s 5 a.m.? Why are you texting me at 5am?
Gena:WHY ARE YOU ANSWERING MY TEXTS AT 5 A.M.?
Gena:You know how Leah was one of the coaches at Shane Hollander’s hockey camp this summer?
Chloe:No?
Gena:UGH, keep up, Chloe!
Gena:So she knows my husband Shane Hollander, right? And we’re about to play her team!
Chloe:?
Gena:Don’t you understand what this means? What if Shane Hollander watches her game! What if Shane Hollander watches me play!!!!
Chloe:It’s a little rude that more people aren’t watching you, to be honest. Haven’t you won two of those trophy things?
Gena:The Clarkson Cups, yes. I’m very talented and amazing. That’s why they pay me the big bucks
Chloe:Wait, they pay you now?
Gena:HAHA. No.
Chloe:Fuck.
Gena:That’s not important right now! My husband might see my game!
Gena:Oh my god, I should write NOTICE ME, SHANE HOLLANDER on my helmet
Chloe:It is so embarrassing to be your best friend.
Gena:Shut up, you love me
Chloe:Yeah
Chloe:You need anything, you let me know.
Chloe:I’m serious, Gena.
Chloe:I’m here if you need to talk.
Gena:I’m okay
Gena:I mean, I’m not the most okay
Gena:But, you know
Gena:It helped seeing Shane Hollander win the Stanley Cup again
Gena:Three time champion!
Gena:Won’t be me. Because my league is gone. Haha.
Chloe:Gena. I’m so sorry.
Gena:Whatever. So I can’t play hockey again. They didn’t pay me anyway, right? Not like I lost my job
Gena:Just everything I cared about in the world
Gena:No big deal
Chloe:Hey. Listen.
Chloe:I am your number one fan.
Chloe:And that’s how I know you’re going to play hockey again.
Chloe:Because you’re amazing, Gena.
Gena:I guess
Gena:See you at work tomorrow?
Chloe:Of course. You’d better be there. The Boston fans aren’t going to fight themselves.
Gena:Ottawa fans
Chloe:What?
Gena:I decided my grudge is against Ilya Rozanov, specifically. So I’m fighting Ottawa fans now
Chloe:Bit harder to find.
Gena:LOL
Gena:OH MY GOD
Gena:DID YOU GET ME A FANMAIL FROM HAYDEN PIKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY?
Chloe:Happy birthday! I actually searched for Shane Hollander but he doesn’t have a Fanmail. So then I searched for the Montreal team and that’s the one who came up. Is it okay? I have no idea who Hayden Pike is, but he knows Shane Hollander, right?
Gena:OH MY GOD. HE LOOKS SO GRUMPY?
Chloe:Ugh, really? He was so rude. I told him I wanted it addressed to Shane Hollander’s number one fan and he kept saying I had to prove I wasn’t Russian or something. What does that even mean?
Gena:You told him you wanted it for a fan of another player? Chloe. I am crying laughing right now
Chloe:Oh, no. That was rude, wasn’t it? Shit.
Gena:This is the best birthday present anyone has ever gotten me
Chloe:Aww. You know I’d do anything for you.
Gena:I know :)
Gena:I’ve decided to take up yoga
Gena:so that I’ll have something in common with my husband Shane Hollander
Chloe:Don’t you already have hockey in common with your husband Shane Hollander?
Gena:Yes, but
Chloe:Fuck. Sorry.
Gena:Chloe. Take a yoga class with me
Chloe:I do not care about having something in common with Shane Hollander.
Gena:But if you take the class you’ll have something in common with me?
Chloe:Ugh.
Chloe:Fine.
Chloe:Have you seen it yet?
Chloe:Okay, I’m going to assume you’re asleep.
Chloe:I’m getting donuts and coffee right now.
Chloe:If you wake up and see this, I’ll be at your door in fifteen minutes, okay?
Chloe:Don’t go on Twitter.
Gena:Have I seen what?
Gena:Holy fucking shit
Tuesday
Chloe:I can still cover your shift if you want.
Gena:No, I’m fine
Gena:Fine-ish
Gena:There’s only so many emails I can send telling the hockey commissioner he should be fired for benching Shane Hollander
Chloe:And Ilya Rozanov
Gena:Whatever
Gena:I hate how weird everything feels right now
Gena:Ethan told me to stop wearing my Hollander jersey to work
Chloe:The fuck?
Gena:I mean, he said it like, “I’m not sure it’s appropriate for bartenders to wear specific player’s jerseys.” But I know what he meant. No one has ever tried to stop us from wearing jerseys before. It’s practically the dress code on game days.
Chloe:Fuck him.
Chloe:Do you still have that extra Hollander jersey?
Gena:You don’t have to do that
Chloe:The fuck I don’t. We go down fighting together.
Gena:Hell yes, we do
Chloe:Fuck, Gena, are you okay?
Gena:Not really, no
Chloe:Ethan said some asshole dumped his beer on you?
Gena:Yeah
Chloe:What the fuck?
Gena:I don’t know
Gena:I mean, I’m used to everyone being mad when we lose a game
Gena:But it’s fun-mad, you know? Like we’re mad together and we’re all, “Fuck Ilya Rozanov!”
Gena:This was tense-mad. No one was screaming, they were all just whispering
Gena:Like they think it’s Shane Hollander’s fault? When we wouldn’t have even gotten this far without him?
Gena:I don’t know
Gena:I’m just
Gena:There’s beer in my hair
Chloe:I’m coming over.
Gena:Aren’t you working?
Chloe:Ethan can cover for me. I’ve never missed a shift before, he owes me one.
Gena:Thank you
Chloe:Anything, Gena. I mean it.
Saturday
Chloe:Gena, get off Twitter.
Gena:I’m not on Twitter
Chloe:I literally just saw you post.
Chloe:And there’s another one.
Gena:How can you see that? I’m making comments, not posts!
Chloe:The comment tab.
Gena:Fuck
Gena:Five more minutes
Chloe:Gena
Chloe:This isn’t healthy.
Gena:I know, okay?
Gena:But, like
Gena:Where the hell is the Montreal team?
Chloe:What?
Gena:The Ottawa Centaurs are all over the place defending Rozanov, so where’s Montreal?
Chloe:Maybe they’re on a media lockdown? Like you should be?
Gena:No. Hayden Pike commented
Chloe:Who?
Gena:Hayden Pike! You literally bought me a Fanmail from him! Honestly, Chloe, it’s like you don’t even watch hockey
Chloe:I mean
Gena:He commented “Fuck you, worst hockey podcast” on that Man in the Crease episode where they evaluated the trip and called it suspicious
Gena:He’s right, they are the worst hockey podcast
Chloe:Okay, so that sucks. But you can’t fight all of Twitter.
Gena:It isn’t fair, Chloe. It just isn’t fair
Chloe:I know.
Chloe:Gena?
Chloe:???
Chloe:I hope this means you finally set your phone down and got some sleep after work?
Chloe:Okay, I’m getting a little bit worried.
Gena:Hey
Chloe:Thank god. Where were you? I knocked on your door, but you didn’t answer.
Gena:Drunk tank. I got a little bit arrested
Chloe:You what
Gena:Hit a guy with a chair
Gena:Oh, yeah, and I’m super fired
Gena:Ethan was mad
Gena:Guess I shouldn’t have gotten into a bar fight at my place of employment, huh?
Chloe:What?
Chloe:Holy shit, someone took a video.
Chloe:You hit a guy with a chair.
Gena:I told you that
Chloe:I thought people only did that in movies
Gena:I was kind of upset. I probably should have just punched him
Gena:Luckily the chairs at the bar are cheap. He was fine
Chloe:Wait, I just found one that starts earlier. Well, I guess that explains why he was on the floor.
Chloe:I can’t believe you pulled a chair out from under a man and then hit him with it.
Gena:I was provoked. He was an asshole. Said running Hollander out of Montreal wasn’t good enough, that he needed to be run out of the whole league. Then he said some other things. Screaming didn’t feel like a strong enough expression of my feelings
Gena:Chloe?
Chloe:Sorry, I just keep rewatching it.
Chloe:I don’t want you to take this the wrong way. You absolutely should not be hitting people with chairs. Under, like, any circumstances. Choose less violence.
Chloe:But it’s kind of hot that you hit that jerk with a chair to defend your husband’s honor.
Gena:Oh my god, Chloe. Don’t say things like that to me. I’m going to do so much violence
Gena:I love you so much
Gena:And I think I need you?
Chloe:On my way.
Gena:Like, I really need you?
Chloe:ETA 10 minutes
Gena:Like, more than Shane Hollander need you?
Gena:More than air need you?
Gena:Forever need you?
Gena:Fuck
Sunday
Gena:HE SAID “HEY, HOCKEY FANS”
Gena:THAT’S ME
Gena:THAT’S LITERALLY ME
Gena:SHANE HOLLANDER IS TALKING TO ME
Chloe:You know what? I’ll give you this one.
Gena:Oh my god. It was so rude of my husband to not invite me to his wedding
Chloe:And I take it back.
Chloe:You do not know Shane Hollander.
Gena:Babe. What if we crashed Shane Hollander’s wedding?
Chloe:No.
Gena:Aww
Chloe:Ilya Rozanov was in that video, too. Do we still hate him?
Gena:Ugh, I don’t know
Gena:On one hand he’s a home-wrecker who stole my husband
Chloe:Okay
Gena:But on the other hand he seems to make my husband really happy
Chloe:This is a weird metric.
Gena:I’m going to have to think about it, okay? Wait until I know which team my baby boy is going to be playing on next season.
Gena:Oh my god, what if he ends up playing for Boston? LOL
Chloe:Gena!!! What did I tell you?
Gena:Shut up! I don’t even know if I’ll be drafted yet!
Chloe:You’re going to get drafted because they don’t have rocks for brains.
Chloe:And they’ll pay you a salary! Did you see that?
Gena:You’re going to jinx it!
Chloe:No I’m not! My girlfriend is going to be a professional hockey player!
Gena:Oh my god
Gena:You’re so embarrassing
Chloe:Hey
Chloe:You’re my number one draft pick.
Gena:Shut up
Gena:You’re my number one draft pick, too
Gena:MY HUSBAND WENT TO FUCKING OTTAWA???
Gena:Babe. What have you brought into our house?
Chloe:Is the delivery there? Don’t open it! It’s your birthday present!
Gena:Too late. This isn’t a birthday present. It’s a cruel mockery of fate
Chloe:?
Gena:It’s an Ottawa Centaur’s jersey. Why would you inflict this on me on my special day
Gena:Maybe you ordered the wrong jersey by mistake?
Chloe:No? It’s the new Shane Hollander jersey? I thought you’d want it.
Gena:I do, but, ugh
Gena:Ottawa?
Gena:How could my husband do this to me?
Chloe:Maybe because he’s Ilya Rozanov’s husband?
Gena:How could you say that to me on my birthday?
Gena:Maybe I should just become a Hayden Pike fan instead
Chloe:Who?
Gena:WE’VE DISCUSSED THIS
Chloe:Umm, okay.
Chloe:Are you serious about this not wanting to cheer for Ottawa thing? Because I need to return the rest of your present if you are. I can buy you something else.
Gena:Rest of the present????
Gena:gimme gimme gimme!!!
Chloe:Check the box.
Gena:Oh my god
Gena:Are these tickets to the Ottawa opening game?
Gena:How did you even get these?
Chloe:I mean, I bought them? The second they went on sale.
Gena:BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER
Chloe:So we are cheering for Ottawa now?
Gena:UGH. Yes
Gena:Just not Rozanov
Chloe:I don’t know, I feel like I have something in common with Rozanov now.
Gena:WHAT?
Chloe:I’m also dating someone who is beautiful and amazing at hockey.
Gena:Babe
Gena:I love you so fucking much
Epilogue
Chloe:Are you almost done?
Chloe:I’m waiting for you by the car.
Gena:Babe, are you hiding?
Gena:I am not the first female hockey player to kiss her girlfriend on the ice
Chloe:Okay, but it was a bit of a spectacle?
Gena:I just won the championship! It was supposed to be a bit of a spectacle!
Chloe:But did you have to shout, “Come here, random fan”?
Chloe:And then, “That’s my wife!”
Chloe:There’s a poll, Gena. People are voting on whether I’m a random fan or your wife.
Gena:Be serious. Not that many people are watching the women’s hockey championship game
Chloe:The poll suggests otherwise!
Chloe:Why is random fan winning?
Chloe:Hang on, I’m voting in the poll.
Chloe:Shit.
Gena:You forgot it shows who voted, didn’t you?
Gena:Don’t worry, babe, I’ll vote too!
Chloe:Gena, no!
Chloe:Oh my god. Someone has already clipped the kiss from the livestream.
Gena:What?
Chloe:I don’t want to become a meme, Gena!
Gena:No one is going to turn you into a meme
Chloe:Then why is there already a gif captioned “When you have two hands so you lift your trophy with one and your trophy wife with the other”?
Gena:LOL
Gena:Sorry, I mean, you are a strong, independent woman and you aren’t anyone’s trophy wife
Chloe:Gena!
Gena:Ummm
Gena:Babe?
Gena:How invested are you in this not becoming a meme thing?
Chloe:What?
Gena:Ilya Rozanov just posted the trophy wife gif on his instagram
Chloe:Fuck my life.
Second Epilogue, because technically there's no rule against it.
Gena:CHLOE
Gena:CHHLLLOOOOEEEE
Gena:ONE CAPS LOCK IS NOT ENOUGH
Gena:IS THERE SUCH THING AS A DOUBLE CAPS LOCK? OR A TRIPLE CAPS LOCK?
Gena:TRIPLE CAPS LOCK IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE
Chloe:What’s happening?
Gena:YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHO I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH
Chloe:I don’t know, was it about hockey?
Gena:OF COURSE IT WAS ABOUT HOCKEY
Chloe:So someone I’ve probably never heard of, then.
Gena:HAHA, VERY FUNNY
Gena:I HAVE BEEN WASTING CAPS LOCK BEFORE THIS MOMENT
Gena:I SHOULD HAVE SAVED IT ALL FOR NOW
Gena:PRETEND I’VE NEVER USED CAPS LOCK BEFORE, OKAY?
Gena:BECAUSE I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH SHANE FUCKING HOLLANDER
Chloe:No.
Gena:YES.
Chloe:Gena, you did not have a phone call with Shane Hollander.
Gena:YES I FUCKING WELL DID
Gena:HE SAW MY HOCKEY GAME, CHLOE. HE WANTED TO KNOW IF I'D BE INTERESTED IN BEING A COACH AT THE MONTREAL SUMMER CAMP
Chloe:Oh my god.
Gena:RIGHT?
Chloe:You are not meeting Shane Hollander before I marry you first.
Gena:WHAT?
Gena:DID YOU JUST PROPOSE TO ME OVER TEXT?
Chloe:NO.
Chloe:Fuck.
Gena:THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE