Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Raindrops coursed in miniature rivers down the window pane, each drop holding a distorted reflection of the world before succumbing to gravity, collecting in a growing pool on the ledge. Florida locals had been surprised to wake up  and see the normally clear skies clouded over with thick gray pillows bursting at the seams with moisture. The humidity had rocketed as the first drops fell, but lessened when the rain persisted and fell hard and steady, drumming on rooftops, tapping on windows. Occasionally a thunderclap sounded, followed by lightning. Palm branches hissed as they brushed together in the wind, the sound nearly drown out by waves pounding the shore outside the mansion, completing nature's symphony.

Aeryn sighed, pacing past the bedroom window for the umpteenth time. She glanced out and saw the watery world, but it did not register in her mind. She forced herself to sit down, wiping clammy hands on her pants. Not her own favored black, but Earth's version of leathers, known as jeans. Everyone on this planet seemed to wear them. Despite her initial misgivings, she actually found them quite comfortable. She had accepted Olivia's offer of clothing, donning them because that was the custom here, not at all  because she had been hoping that John would notice; would look at her, truly look at her, not the brief glances he'd given her since she returned to Moya. Maybe clothing would make a difference and make him remember the last time she had worn Earth clothes.

Her head dropped, long raven hair caressing her cheek, falling over her shoulder. Earth wasn't what she had expected. The humans reaction to alien life had been predictable. She had known that Earth was a planet at conflict with itself, but the intensity of that conflict surprised her. No wonder they were so far behind Peacekeeper technology; they were too busy warring amongst themselves to advance their species. Conflicts on Earth made no sense, although John had tried to explain them to her several times. He had tried to explain Earth’s intolerance in terms she would understand—how his people hated those of different skin colors or religions, regardless of the fact that they were the same species, the same way that the Peacekeepers hated those species they considered inferior.

But more than war, John had spoken of home and family, foods and friends. He had told her of a place he used to visit as a child, off in the country, where "you had to squint to see the next house," and the grass had grown tall. She remembered the light in his eyes, the unfocused gaze of one far away from his body. John had told her that as a boy he would play a game he called "Hide and Seek," which sounded similar to a training exercise Aeryn had excelled at as a PK youth. John had spoken of how he and his sisters pretended to be lost on a different planet, and of the tree house he had built with his father, one he had tried to make "boys only." He had given up when he realized that, given Jack's long absences, he was the only member of the club, a status he'd found too lonely.

Heat burned the back of Aeryn's eyes. He had promised to show her those wonders someday. Despite all the evidence that suggested this planet was extremely far away from the Unchartered Territories, John never gave up the hope that he would return. Aeryn had noticed when he stopped saying that he wanted to go home, when it changed to finding Earth. Earth had become more of an obsession, a thing to protect rather than a safe haven. Just as she had become more then a shipmate, less of a crewman and more…more…

Frustrated, she shook her hair out of her face. Part of her had secretly hoped that after being here for a while John would remember her, make good on his promise to show her his world. They had been planet-bound for almost three monens, and she had discovered Earth bit by bit on her own, or with Chiana and the others. They had visited other countries and cultures, surrounded the entire time by guards and cameramen. They were not allowed to leave the mansion grounds without escort. It didn't seem to bother the others as much, but Aeryn wondered if maybe that was because they all knew that they wouldn't get far before someone noticed the extra eye, the tentacles, or the gray skin. She, on the other hand could blend in easily, in both appearance and behavior. John had introduced her to the English language, helped her decipher his written word until she understood the basics. She'd never stopped practicing, even after…

She stalked towards the window again. The rain was coming down hard. Cerulean eyes searched the skies, looking for something she knew wasn't there. The tears threatened again, and Aeryn rested her forehead on the glass, her breath fogging the pane. She hadn't thought it could hurt as much as it did. While she was gone, she had slowly gathered the pieces of her heart together, and although she didn't understand how, she had come to realize that hope lived on. She had figured out what she couldn't get her mind around before: why she'd gone off with one and left the other rather than staying on Moya and sorting things out with the John Crichton that lived. Almost in between breaths she had gone from thinking about John as either him and the other, to just John. While she couldn't share the things that had happened on Talyn with this John, she would continue to love him, because he had been and still was John Crichton.

"Frelling ruined my life." Aeryn whispered to the window. She didn't know what to do. The sound of the rain beat memories into her mind, memories of a Earth darker then this one, of a nauseating fear of being alone.

Feeling oddly impulsive, Aeryn unlocked the window and pushed it open. The curtains fluttered as the wind bathed the room with the unique smell of rain. Droplets of water fell on her face, and Aeryn drew a deep breath, letting the fragrance calm her. Her thoughts drifted to Zhann. She had always thought the Delvian smelled of rain.

Aeryn turned away, unable to continue with those thoughts and headed out of the room quickly, leaving the window open. She paused shortly to listen for the others. She could hear the television playing in the back of the huge house, and as she crept past that room she saw Chiana asleep on the floor surrounded by pillows. Aeryn remembered that the Nebari and Sikozu had been to yet another overseas convention and had returned late last night. Jetlag affected them the same as humans; Sikozu was probably still in her room asleep.

Staying close to the far wall, Aeryn passed though the living room, hearing D'Argo, Rygel and the Old Woman bickering in the kitchen. She slid the patio door open just enough to slip though and began scanning the yard for the ever present guards. The rain fell off the roof in sheets, providing enough cover for her to get over the fence unnoticed. Once she was sure that she wasn’t being followed, she began to relax for the first time in days. Tilting her face upwards, she let the rain pour over her, surround her like a blanket.