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Initial Thoughts of Elizabeth Rose Bloodflame and Jealousy
I think Elizabeth stews in jealousy, I think it's something she mistakes as anger or frustration. She understands envy, wanting to have something you don't have, but jealousy? Having bitterness for something she doesn't have. That isn't something that's common to her, so she mistakes it as anger and frustration.
So Elizabeth doesn't act out, she keeps her finger on the pulse of her wrist, squeezes her wrist tight. She keeps herself controlled. She holds her own leash. She avoids when she can, and she doesn't say a word. Manners always dictated that if you didn't have anything nice to say, you don't say anything at all. Maybe if she was capable enough, crack a few jokes, pretend she's fine, yet keep things at a distant. She'll likely deny it because either she knows she's not allowed to be jealous, or because she doesn't know she is jealous.
Which is why when she snaps, it comes as sudden inferno. It consumes everything in her wake, even herself. Fuck the morals, fuck doing the right thing. This ugly emotion is too much and she needs to take action now.
If she was smart she would unleash it alone, onto herself. Break a few swords during training, flare out her fire and burn the grass black. If she had however the misfortune of being with someone, that person gets the brunt. For better or for worse.
Nerissa slips out a laugh, eyes shut, basking in the pleasure of Elizabeth's needy mouth on hers. She repeats the accusation she said only an hour ago. "So you are jealous."
"I have—" Elizabeth swallows the moan out of Nerissa's lips, bruising the lip before pulling away—not much, just a millimetre apart to let them breath. "No idea." Another kiss, another word buried between mouths. "What are you are talking about," she denies, open mouth, words and lips hot against the other.
Her hands are riding up the curve of the dress, hips moving to waist. Thumbs brushing along the sides. A groan leaves Elizabeth's mouth when Nerissa's hands move in turn, hooking around her neck, nails pressing against the fabric. She pulls her in closer, Elizabeth doesn't stop it.
Then Nerissa leans back, presses their forehead together. A deliberate pause. Elizabeth inhales her perfumes like her lungs inhale oxygen. Nerissa stares, face a dark red, eyes a poisonous mixture between desire and mischief.
She whispers her words, shaky breath kissing Elizabeth's mouth. "So why are you kissing me?"
"Because…" The words dies on Elizabeth's tongue, licking up her lips, tasting the strawberry lipstick. She swallows. She loses herself in her raven's eyes.
Recognition stirs in her eyes as the all-consuming emotions fizzle out. Her heart is running miles per hours, her hands are gripping tight to Nerissa's dress. Her fingers dip enough to feel the warmth underneath linen and flushed skin. They're not at a party where people should be dancing and celebrating—they're in the back of a tucked away room.
Because Nerissa wants a moment of peace from the attention the world gives her, from all the admirer and men who don't bother to hide their lust in the arrogant smiles and straying eyes. Nerissa wants peace, and Elizabeth was unable to stop herself from ruining it.
She tries again, believing in her own lies that she paused to catch her breath. "Because…"
Nerissa leans in again, not to kiss her but to nuzzle her nose against hers. She plays with the baby hair around Elizabeth's neck. It registers as electricity running down her spine. A spark that keeps Elizabeth alert for whatever game is happening next.
"Because you're jealous, my dear knight." Nerissa claims so easily, voice made of silk, a soft assurance that Elizabeth wasn't in trouble for not knowing.
"Because I'm jealous," Elizabeth repeats back. The words are slow to her mind. They dawdle, almost cumbersome as Elizabeth rewinds time and memory until she was there, at the ball—standing in the sidelines, holding her herself together with her leash wrapped around her wrist.
She recalls the way she squeezed her arm, lips pulled tight as she endures, watching and watching how so many arrogant fools line themselves up. How they try to impishly touch the expanse of Nerissa's back like they had the right to do so. All because they were noble, all because of birth right.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth stations herself against the wall, back anchoring to the stone because no matter what she can do, no matter all of her achievements she can offer… she was only just the knight, and Nerissa Ravencroft was the darling princess of the ball.
Nerissa lets out a flutter of laugh, lips curling up. "That's not very knightly of you, is it?"
Typically, in her shame, Elizabeth would look away. However, looking away right now means denying herself of Nerissa, or more importantly, denying Nerissa of herself. Elizabeth recognises the delight in her eyes, the quiet joy of unravelling another part of beloved knight like a puzzle.
In her defence and her understanding, Elizabeth is never one to be jealous, let alone act on it.
"No," Elizabeth confesses, wondering what her darling princess would do to her. She shuts her eyes, laying bare to her complete acceptance."No it's not."
"You should be punished for this."
It's almost instinct for Elizabeth to nod. To others, to most punishment is a deterrent. But whenever Nerissa whispers it into her ears like this, in the dark like this, with their breaths mingling and the warmth spreading… it's almost a forbidden snack, a treat.
"Yes—" Then Nerissa removes her hands around her neck and Elizabeth's eye snap open. "I—don't."
Nerissa arches a brow. "Don't?"
Elizabeth bows her head, even when it is already bowing. She looks down at herself, struggles to not look just that bit ahead where the dress gives way to her princess's cleavage. Her tongue stumbles against the bumps of her heart, struggling to keep a steady heartbeat. "Don't go back…please…I…I don't want to be jealous."
"And here I thought you said ages ago you would never be jealous."
Elizabeth shuts her eyes like a sinner. Shame fills her throat. "I was lying."
"Jealousy," Nerissa recalls, her voice as sweet as sin. Elizabeth opens her eyes at the touch of nail under her chin. Her head lifts almost effortless as she returns to where she belongs, staring at Nerissa. "Is when you're angry that you can't have something, correct?"
Elizabeth nods. She watches the desire bloom again in Nerissa's eyes. She shifts backwards until they're against a wall and like a dog, Elizabeth follows, obedient to the real person holding her leash. She doesn't fully understand what's happening until with only her fingers cupping her chin, Nerissa guides her down until her knight is on her knees.
"Then take whatever you want, Elizabeth." Nerissa lets out an eager sigh, shaky in anticipation Her fingers card through Elizabeth's red hair, encouraging tugs given whenever her knight hesitates. Elizabeth, already on the ground slides her hands under the dress, caressing the legs hidden away before she leans in and kisses the thighs. She looks up, pleading as Nerissa lets out one final chuckle at the desperation fading away into desire.
"Soothe your anger, and stop being jealous of fools getting crumbs of what's already yours."