Chapter Text
There’s a Christmas Eve party being hosted on Hermitcraft, and everyone’s going.
Well…hopefully not everyone.
Bdubs was getting sick of Joel’s persistent attempts to be all ‘buddy buddy’ with him—it messed with his belligerent mindset! He was sure that his Christmas would be ruined if he saw that man at the party—which is why he made it his main goal to make sure Joel wasn’t going.
Bdubs folded the invitation up, sighing as he laid it on the table. He was going to have to ask around to see if he would be there. He opened the door and ventured out towards his horse, Climb 11.
Who should I ask? He thought to himself, before deciding, Gem.
Gem was neighbors with Joel, so she would be the most plausible person to ask—she was always in the know of everything. Bdubs mounted his horse, who whinnied as he rode towards Gem's base.
The ride over was pleasant. The air was cold, clear, and crisp currently, but the crunch of snow under him filled his ears without being overwhelming.
Bdubs brought his horse to a stop in the snow, Gem’s base just a few steps away. He could see as she worked on something with full concentration, off in the distance. He jumped off of Climb 11, landing in the snow before making his way over to her.
Gem, looked up from her work and to the man approaching. "Bdubs!" she greeted with a wave and warm smile.
"Hi, Gem! Pretty strange question, but I'm sure you can give me a solid answer," Bdubs said, smiling back.
"Go on."
“Is Joel planning on going to the Christmas party?"
Gem eyed him, raising an eyebrow in curiosity, "Not as far as I know, why? Are you suddenly the obsessive one?"
"No! I mean, no...I just didn't want to go if he was. Rivalry continuing at a Christmas party doesn’t exactly sound that enticing to me,” Bdubs defended himself, embarrassed.
"Pretty sure it's not a rivalry if it's only one sided, but okay," Gem shrugged, a teasing lilt to her voice, before getting back to work.
"Well, I—whatever! I just don't want him to be there!" Bdubs raised his voice, yelling over the sound of the grindstone.
"Sure! You know Joel doesn't shut up about you, right? He really wants to be friends!" Gem said, matching Bdubs’ volume.
"I'll let him befriend me when—and only when—he stops killing horses and being an annoying prick!”
"You're going to be waiting a while then, bud," Gem snorted, turning off the machine.
"Bullseye," Bdubs said, nodding in confirmation, "I'm making my goals so we don’t become friends. Anyways, thank you, Gem for your help, I'll see you later."
"My pleasure," Gem replied, not bothering to hide a grin at the interaction.
Bdubs got back on his horse, pondering. Was it really that smart to trust another person to know if Joel was going...ugh. He just didn't want to talk directly to the guy, he reasoned to himself as he quickly rode. He'd hope Gem wouldn't lie, but she did only say "pretty sure", which wasn't exactly a concrete answer in any sense of the word.
Unfortunately, it was still probably the best answer he was getting.
His ride was disrupted in the middle of an empty field. He saw a figure and a comically hat peeking out from behind the snow mounds. Confused, Bdubs came to a stop, saying “whoa” quietly to Climb 11.
He zeroed in on the person, eyes squinting. Oh void.
Of course, it was Joel, running around. Bdubs wasn’t even entirely sure what he was doing…but he also wasn’t planning on asking.
Joel had turned around, spotting Bdubs on his horse. He perked up, running over to the man. Bdubs grimaced.
"Bdubs, fancy seeing you here!" Joel exclaimed with a smile, looking up at the man who—for once—had a height advantage by quite a bit.
"I was just on my way home," Bdubs stated, voice level and trying to seem uninterested in the conversation. He hated Joel's voice. It was grating, causing him to tense up every time he heard it.
"Well, quite the strange route home, eh? I don't ever see you here," Joel retorted, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Why do you care where I go and how I get back to my base?" he answered, glaring at the man.
Should he ask about the party?
"I was just observing, that's all. I don't care, bud, just making conversation!" Joel said, before he could start to question, looking almost uncomfortable.
"What are you doing here?" Bdubs asked instead, “and don’t call me ‘bud’.”
"Well, I'm just here to gather supplies; always in need of more dirt, you know how it is,” he replied with an almost convincing shrug; Bdubs couldn’t shake the feeling that wasn’t the reason.
Bdubs stared the man down with furrowed brows. The younger man, unfazed, simply smiled up at him. It was unnerving, causing a knot of tension to grow in his stomach.
“Are you going to the Christmas party tomorrow?” he blurted suddenly, needing it over with. He hoped he still sounded mad.
Did it make him sound soft for asking that? Shut up, inner Bdubs!
“Huh? What, did you want me to be there?” Joel teased, his hat shadowing his face perfectly so only his eye would shine. Bdubs repressed a shudder.
“What—!? No! I don’t want you to be there,” Bdubs all but shrieked in offense. The nerve!
Joel laughed—a little too loudly—before continuing, “Well, if it puts you at ease, I won’t be there sadly. I’ve got too much work to do on my build to spend the night slacking off.”
“I see…” Bdubs muttered, eyeing the other man suspiciously.
“Are you sure you’re not sad I’m not going?” Joel asked, batting his lashes and flashing a coy grin.
“Oh, screw you!” he shouted, so loud he was sure anyone in a mile radius could hear, already turning away in annoyance.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Joel answered back almost immediately with a smirk.
He felt his face heat up, immediately looking away. “You sicken me,” he scowled, before riding off.
He didn’t care if he had to go the long way to get home, he wanted away from that idiot. Was that too intense? Oh, shut up!
Behind him, the other man let out a loud, unnerving laugh in response. Bdubs shuddered, squeezing the horse with his haunches to make him gallop even quicker.
He tried to ignore his thoughts for the remaining time of the day, but it seemed like it was the only thing he could do, drowning in them. The conversation played on end, repeating like a song stuck in his head. It was stupid.
Void, he hated that man!
He fell asleep to his thoughts still racing, seething with anger. Joel had better not be at that stupid party.
Rather then the sound of birds chirping, or his alarm, Bdubs was woken up to the sound of loud, incessant knocking.
Thump, thump, thump.
Bdubs rolled over in his bed, peeking at his clock through his eyelashes, his eyes barely open. The clock read 4:01 AM.
What in the world? Who would be knocking on his door at this time?
He groaned as he heard the noise again, yawning and sitting up, looking out the window he saw nothing but darkness.
He put on a robe and slippers, not even bothering to fix his hair. It was whoever was at the door's fault if they were offended by his tussled hair.
He walked down the stairs, muttering "I'm coming, keep your cool," as he made his way to the door.
He turned the knob, opening the door fully.
Joel.
Bdubs started to shut the door as soon as he realized who it was, but Joel jamming his body into the side, keeping it open. In reality, Bdubs, could have easily pushed him out of it without a problem, but he was just tired, sure! It was nothing.
“Well that was pretty rude—” Joel started with a grin that didn’t meet his eyes in a comforting way. It pissed him off, was what Joel was trying not to say according to the look on his face.
“You know what’s more rude, mister? Waking me from my beauty sleep after I worked late into the night!” he retorted, cutting the man off.
“Well, you still look as beautiful as ever—hey!” Joel attempted to butter him up before Bdubs shoved him out of the way and started walking outside with a purpose.
“Where are you going, dude?!” Joel yelled out, moving to follow him.
“To check on my horse; why else would you be here at 4AM just to act all nice to me unless you had done something?” Bdubs shouted back as Joel followed.
“Is that really all you think of me? A horse killer?”
“That’s exactly what you are,” he muttered, mainly to himself, in annoyance.
It was silent after that as Bdubs checked on Climb 11, eyeing the place around him Joel with suspicion. Surprisingly, he couldn’t find anything wrong.
“Well…you’re safe for now. I think,” Bdubs stated, turning around to watch Joel. “What’s your reason for being here, then?”
“Well, I wanted to give you a gift!” Joel grinned. He had his hands awkwardly placed behind his back.
“A gift? At 4AM?” Bdubs deadpanned at the man.
“I forget people aren’t awake at this time, sorry. This is a normal time to me!” Joel replied, not once faltering.
“Everything stupidly weird is normal to you…whatever, what is it?”
“Well, it’s not anything crazy, but y’know,” Joel said with a shrug as though Bdubs hadn’t just insulted him. He handed a small box to Bdubs.
Bdubs hesitated before opening it, making sure to do so slowly in case it would explode…or whatever destructive thing he could think of.
Inside was a… hat. A red, fluffy Santa hat with all the fixings. He picked it up, face contorted in confusion.
“I thought you could use a bit more Christmas cheer. After all, you can wear it to the party if you like, then you’ll think of me,” Joel said with a wink.
Bdubs’ face reddened. He was annoyed. So annoyed at Joel!
“I’m sure I can go without thinking about you,” Bdubs said, curling his lip as he looked at Joel, “But um…thanks, or whatever.” He put the hat back in the box and closed it.
“You’re welcome! See, it’s not that hard,” he answered with a smirk spread across his face.
“What?”
“Saying thank you! You need a little work, but you’re getting there.”
Bdubs just glared at him.
“Well! I better be going now; I’ve got lots to do. Goodbye!”
Joel ran off abruptly, leaving Bdubs to stand there with his gift, not moving a muscle.
Bdubs watched as Joel ran off, a skip in his step. What was he going to do now? The sun still wasn't up, and he was standing in the freezing snow, feeling as it seeped into his slippers.
He sighed before turning around back towards his house. He was going back to bed to forget everything that had just happened. He carried the box with him, still mildly confused on the interaction.
He opened the door to his home, feeling the nice warmth envelope him as he laid the box on the table. He paused before taking the lid off again, pulling out the Santa hat. Surely he had checked properly...there was no trick here. Bdubs couldn't tell if that made it better or worse.
Stupid freaking hat. He put down the hat gently and shuffled his shoes off before seeking his bed.
Bdubs flopped on the bed, deflating as he hit the pillow. Rolling onto his back, he looked up at the ceiling, tracing out the patterns in it with his eyes. He was tired, his shoulders sagging and his head heavy.
So why couldn't he get his mind to shut up?
Joel was infuriating. Why was he trying so hard? Bdubs was so sick of it.
He kept thinking about the Santa hat, the way Joel had come to him this early in the morning. Maybe he was giving them to everyone? Maybe it wasn't personal and it was just...Joel being festive.
He turned onto his side, huffing and shutting his eyes. It was dark outside, this should be easy. It should be easy to sleep when he was this tired, when he had worked so hard that night.
It should be.
His eyes flew open, and he sat up, kicking off the blanket. This was so dumb. He couldn't sleep because of a few stupid, repetitive thoughts. He was behaving like a teenager with a crush.
Of course, not that it was anything like a crush.
Bdubs shuddered at the thought of that. Imagine him, having a crush on Joel! It was comical, almost. If it didn't feel so close to reality, he would've even laughed.
He stretched, staring at the clock. It had only been half an hour. Was it even worth the trouble? He had things to do, and he'd probably be making himself even more tired the longer he tried to sleep when he could be getting things done around the base.
Giving up on sleep, he stood up finally.
He decided to actually get ready now, rather than the attempt in the rush he was to open the door. He changed into simple, but effective clothes for the day—a long sleeve shirt and fleece-lined pants—putting a festive green sweater for the party later in the day. Standing right in front of the mirror, he did his best to properly comb through his hair now that he had the time; messing with it to absolute perfection. Putting on socks, he made his way back downstairs.
Once Bdubs got to the table, he stopped in his tracks as he saw the hat, lying on the table innocently. He stared at it, unsure on whether it disturbed him, or enraged him.
He tried to stay away from it as he ate his breakfast, glaring at it the entire time.
The day seemed to go both quickly and slowly at the same time. As he built, the sun started to finally rise up above the horizon, peeking out from its slumber. The cold was miserable, but he made do, balancing it out with the amount of moving around he was doing.
Getting lost in his work, just as he remembered the sun coming up, it began to say goodbye, Bdubs looking out at it, and then towards the moon taking the place of the early morning sun. He really did need to get better at checking the time while working. It was already 6:45PM. The party started at 7:30PM! He had to clean up and get ready.
Bdubs was relieved that he was able to keep his mind off of Joel for most of the day, though. It was refreshing, especially compared to that morning and the day before.
He put away supplies, going back to his house to get ready.
He had one goal and one goal when he walked through the door to the party—get his mind off Joel.
He was greeted by Xisuma when he opened the door, smiling as he came in. It was just fine. Everything would be...nice tonight. Yeah.
Or, that's what he was confident in before his eye caught...a very familiar looking man.
Through the crowd, he saw Joel. He was talking to Cleo, his hands gesturing at nothing in particular.
"That idiot, you've gotta be kidding me," Bdubs hissed to himself, before quickly turning on his heels.
He didn't look back even as he heard Gem follow him out the door, darting back into the cold of the winter night. Breathing fast with the cold winter air stinging his lungs, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and knocked his head against the beam of the house. The dull ache through his temples just made him feel worse.
"Are you really going to let one guy ruin your night, or really, your life?" Gem asked behind him. He'd almost forgotten that she followed him, mind swirling with anger.
He turned back around, not having an answer or even wanting to come up with one.
"Bdubs. I don't understand why you've been acting like this. Joel being at this party won't be the end of your life. I don't understand your one-sided rivalry with the guy, anyway."
"You wouldn't understand."
Gem snorted, "You know how much you look like an angsty teen right now? Really, Bdubs, I don't know what's going on with you lately.”
"Is it really that bad of me to just not like the guy? He's a horse killer, insanely annoying, and—"
"And yet he's still trying to be your best bud. Yeah," Gem finished for him. "How horrible of him. I just feel like your distaste is just a little too extreme. I know Joel's pretty out there, trust me, I know, but he can't just ruin your life. You need to learn to at least try to enjoy stuff when he's around, it's part of being a person."
Bdubs sighed, watching as his breath ghosted out in front of him, swallowed by the frigid air. "I guess."
“Great. Well, I'm going in because it's way too cold for a human out here. Feel free to come back in when you learn to deal with all of this," Gem said, smiling a little before walking back inside.
Bdubs took a deep breath. Gem was right; he shouldn't Joel ruin his life. He shouldn't be this affected. He was going to go back into that party, and he was going to enjoy his time. Even if Joel was going to be insufferable.
He turned back to the house, going back inside. It really was cold out he realized, the feeling coming back to his hands once he walked back into the warmth.
He greeted people with a nod and a smile, hung out with Etho and Grian, and tried his best to just ignore Joel, even if he was lurking.
He even got a drink, got a little tipsy, and overall was having a good time. The buzz was getting to his head and he was giggling with everyone; the open faced vulnerability didn't even make him feel out of place like it usually did.
Even through his lack of cognizance, Joel was starting to get insufferable. Even more than usual.
Bdubs kept seeing him out of the corner of his eye, just wandering, but he knew—oh, Bdubs knew—it was just to piss him off. It didn’t stop there. Joel was being mentioned in conversations, and void, he was going to drive him insane. He came to this party to get Joel off his mind, yet it was making it worse.
Why was Joel trying so hard to linger? Why did he even want to be near him? He’d been nothing but rude to him. Bdubs felt a little ill at that. He really had been nasty.
No, he had to be. He doesn’t feel bad.
Bdubs needed to give him a piece of his mind. If only he didn’t hesitate at the thought of even getting close, seeing his eyes, the way his lip quirked into a smile, his scrunched up nose, and the way his stupid, giant hat shaded over his entire face and more. It was unsettling…and so annoying.
He’s had it, though. He’s going to tell him to stay away tonight. Right now, actually for a matter of fact. Gem's lecture remained in the back of his mind, but he didn't care.
"Excuse me, sorry," Bdubs muttered, laying his drink on the table and abandoning his current group to storm over to Joel, who was only a few people away, standing in the doorway chatting.
The anger was only brewing, growing. It was becoming more visible in his face, in the way his eye twitched, and how choppy his movements were. He wanted to yell. He wanted to get all of his anger out on this guy.
He was standing face to face with Joel; and it was not cute how Joel was a little shorter as Bdubs had to tilt his head down to properly look at the man.
"Now listen, here—" Bdubs started.
"It's really tragic you're not wearing the hat," Joel interrupted with a frown. He looked almost hurt. Almost.
"Huh?"
"The hat. The hat I gave you this morning. I know you looked like you weren't going to wear it, but I could at least hope," Joel said, sighing.
Bdubs looked at him with bewilderment, brain short-circuiting. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. “I’m not here to talk about the stupid hat—”
“It’s just a shame. It would have been really flattering on you,” he shrugged, before pointing his finger towards the ceiling, “Anyways, you should look up, probably.”
Bdubs looked at Joel in pure confusion, hesitating before letting his vision follow the finger.
Oh.
Mistletoe.
Bdubs cursed himself. This was just going to make his night more embarrassing no matter what he did.
What exactly was he supposed to do? In all honesty, he really thought mistletoe was some fictional thing only.
His mind felt blank. He didn't know whether he should scream, leave, or go with it. What was going on? He felt weird. Sweaty, warm—probably embarrassment.
He looked around them; the people around them were just...looking at them. Just silent. Almost anticipating. What were they anticipating? Did they want to see them kiss? The fuzz of alcohol probably wasn't helping, but...
What was the right decision?
Would it be bad if he didn’t kiss Joel? Would people think that he was scared to because he actually liked him? Kissing him would be just as bad, though, wouldn’t it?
It's not like he wanted to kiss Joel, so shouldn't that make up his mind?
"What, nervous over lil’ ol' me? I should consider myself honored, really," Joel said, voice just above a whisper, and oh, he was dangerously close now, nearly burrowed into Bdubs’ neck. Even though Bdubs was looking everywhere but the man's face, he could practically hear the grin in his voice.
"Shut up," Bdubs muttered before deciding, what the hell, leaning in without another thought, shutting his eyes.
And for a second, the feeling was intoxicating. A rush through his blood, starting his heart back up, as if it was a clock restarting for the first time in months. The simple contact of their lips suddenly wasn’t a foreign thought, but a real thing and his lips were on Joel’s, and oh, void he needs out.
And the next second, it was over. It was small. Short. A peck, as many would call it. It felt weird and awkward on his lips.
So, why is it that when he opened his eyes, leaning back and looked up at the man with annoyance, he wanted it again?
The crowd was in silent shock around them, and Joel…even more, looking directly at him with wide, brown eyes that seemed to glow amber in the light.
He needed to leave. He needed out of whatever this suffocation was.
Without a word, he sprinted away, leaving Joel to stand there in a daze, leaving whatever he just created to rot. He felt like a bucket of cold water had dropped on him, bringing back his consciousness.
Bdubs had been vulnerable in the past—but that never turned out well, did it? So, he hardened up. He became the person he is now; slowly but surely. And if staying that person means he has to leave strange cravings to die…so be it.
He didn’t listen to the call of his name as he opened the door to outside, and as he mounted Climb 11 and rode away. It was going to be put behind him no matter what.
He was staying mean.