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All Haldir wanted was to be able to walk through the market place and be invisible. He wanted the eyes off his back, the gentle taps on his shoulder from some of the merchants as he shopped to cease, he just wanted to be like every other elf walking through the busy place. It wouldn’t be much to ask, if the recent events had not taken place.
He remembered the day well - as if he could ever remove the images from his mind- every deal as crisp and vivid in his mind as they ever had been. The day some rogue orcs slipped through the boarder defense. If only that was the details but there was always more. The orcs caused chaos on the outskirts of the city and many in the area were skilled enough to stop them, but a few tried to hold them off till some of the younger children could get to the nearest guard station to call for aid. His father had been in the area and came to aid those struggling. His father was not a warrior or a skilled fighter in any way, but he was a blacksmith who had spent years forging swords for the wardens. Perhaps, it was such work that made him feel obligated to help, to wield the sword he always kept attached to his hip - he only used it as an example of his craftsmanship, but few knew that. His father had held the vial creatures at bay as he waited for the wardens to arrive. But his father had never been good at keeping his attention on the task at hand, and when help arrived, his eyes averted away from the orc for a single second to long and a sword surged through him. There was nothing that could be done - or so they had tried to tell Haldir and his mother. As if losing his father was not enough, Haldir’s mother had lost herself when her husband fell. She no longer held light in her eyes, they no longer sparkled and danced but rested dully on the wall. She no longer sang with a soothing voice - no matter how much little rumil begged and cried. Haldir watched as she rolled through her day, tormented with darkness that wrapped around her like a suffocating jacket and when she asked - the only sound she had made since the loss of her husband- if she could sail on the next ship, Haldir could not bring himself to make her stay. So, he held Rumil in his arms and stood next to Orophin as they waved goodbye to her. Just like that, Haldir became the oldest, and the only one his brothers had. He became father and mother, and he wasn’t even old enough to be considered and adult yet. And it seemed everyone in the entire city knew of their luck.
Haldir wasn’t sure if it was the bad turn of events, or the crying Rumil in his arms, but all he could feel was pitying eyes upon him. It made him want to be swallowed by a giant sink hole. There was only so many things one could hide from, and pity was not one of them.
Haldir could not longer handle the eyes and the crying child - who had yet to fully understand that nanath was not coming back- and turned to leave from the market and the suffocating feeling. He moved faster than he should have to avoid attention, but he was losing his grip on himself. So he ran, young child bouncing in his arms, to get out of the main market. When he was out, and the feeling of eyes trying to smother him was gone, he leaned against the nearest tree to breathe. He wanted to cry and scream and pound his fists upon the tree till they ran as red as his father blood, but he couldn’t. He could no longer let himself go in such a way, he could no longer be childish and let in to his impulses. He had little ones depending on him now.Like the one tugging upon his hair.
“ Haldir.” Little Rumil insisted with tugs upon Haldir's free silver locks.
“ Shh. Please, Rumil? Just, please.” He almost begged as he rested his forehead against the rough tree bark.
“ Excuse me?” Haldir stood straight faster than was probably healthy for a body at the sound of the voice. He turned to face it, bouncing Rumil higher up in his arms as he stared in awe and fear at the voices owner. Lord Celeborn stood tall, his silver hair braided carefully with a bead that matched the blue of his robes. Haldir tried to bow at the lord, but the heavy backpack and child upon him did not coordinate to allow such an action.
“ You are Haldir, Son of Amarion, correct?” He spoke carefully as he stepped toward him.
“ Yes, My lord.” He spoke quietly.
“ I heard about your unfortunate news.” He spoke kindly as he looked upon the boys.
“ I do not want any pity.” Haldir spoke, perhaps a tad bit to harshly. The lord nodded understandingly.
“ I do not pity you. Yet, I feel my offer might come off with such.” Celeborn nodded as he spoke to him. Haldir furrowed his brows slightly with confusion and wonder as he adjusted his squirming brother again.
“ I admit I have been watching you as of late. Every other night during my walk. I have seen you skills with swords while you train with your friend.” Haldir’s eyes widened.
He had been training with one of the elves he helped tutor in school - when he actually went since he could no longer find the time for the extra finishing courses- who was older than him and in warden training. While Haldir was not overly found of the pompous elf, he was happy to get away in the late hours, let off some steam, and learn some of the things he was not lucky enough to have the opportunity to learn. He had not known he was being watched, it made him slightly uncomfortable. He was not a trained soldier like the lord and he feared embarrassment.
“ I am impressed by your talent. Have you never had a formal lesson?” The lord continued to speak as Haldir worked through his shock.
“ Never had the opportunity.” He spoke honestly with a small voice.
“ And, If my information is correct, you are not old enough to train as a warden?” Haldir nodded, he had tried shortly after his mother departed in the hope of joining the training, but the trainer gave him one look and told him to leave .
“ Yet you take care of your brothers?” Celeborn lightly asked as he moved to rest against the tree Haldir stood against, trying not to look to formal or intimidating to the younger elf.
“ I am all they have left. I do what I can to take care of them but it’s not an easy job with me not being old enough to do much.” Haldir sighed and spoke as he looked down at the young blonde in his arms who was almost asleep with the boredom of the conversation.
“ I offer you a position in the guard training that starts next week. If you wish to join it.” Haldir almost fell over in surprise.
He wanted to train, badly. Yet, he had little ones to care for, and while Orophin was almost old enough for Haldir to feel okay with him taking care of himself, Rumil was a whole other story. He was too young and Haldir would not burden his brother with the younger,
“ I have to take care of my brothers. The long days and night for the first months of training would be..” Haldir trailed off with a long sigh.
“ When you go to retrieve your brother from school, talk to Nibendes. She will help you if you are serious about being a warden.” Celeborn assured.
“ Thank you, my lord.” Haldir spoke with a slight bow of the head.
Celeborn bowed before walking away.
“ What if I let you down?” Haldir spoke before he could stop the childish doubt from erupting from his brain.
“ Trust me, Haldir, You will not.” Celeborn assured with a wink. His wife had foreseen a young blonde warden who broke the record for the youngest warden ever. She had foreseen a family of warden brother protecting their home. Celeborn had not doubt in him.
Haldir could not run from pity, but he could prove he didn’t need it. And damn it, Haldir could make sure no one looked upon little orphaned children who went through the same thing with pity. He could not run or hide from it, but he could chase it off.