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The cold, empty feeling overtook him as he sat on the toilet seat. His breaths were quiet and short, the only sound in the room to show he was alive. His hands trembled as he ran his fingers through his hair, brushing it in a calming manner. It wasn’t possible; it couldn’t have happened. He tried to take deep breaths, weighing his options. Suddenly, he realised he needed to hide this. There was no other choice; if he detected the slightest hint of danger, he would break. He debated whether to go to White Lily for help, knowing she would know what to do, but since she was so busy with her kingdom, he decided against troubling her with his problem.
Standing up quickly, he faced the sink, gripping the edge hard enough to see slight cracks in his dough. He looked up at himself and saw the deep eye bags that seemed to be darkening by the day. Sighing, he looked down at his body. His stupid body was the reason he was in this situation. Suddenly, he gripped the side of his night gown, wanting to rip it off his dirty skin. His nails dug slightly into his side, leaving an indent. He could feel the tears in his eyes well up despite his trying to hold them back. Sinking to the ground, he let out a quiet sob. What would everyone think of him? He knew it was forbidden, and yet he pushed that thought from his mind, and now look where that got him. He hit himself in the head a few times, trying to take out the anger so he wouldn’t be forced to feel the emotion anymore. He swore to himself under his breath that no one would know, no matter what. Even if it killed him.
He was in a meeting with his friends, the former ancients, when it happened. The feeling of horror washed over him immediately when he realised what it meant. He knew the pain would follow soon; he had been a healer after all. He had to leave before he couldn’t hide it from his friends. As he stood up from his chair, his vision blacked out as he lost his balance slightly. Gripping the chair for support, he stood up straight once again. Looking over his friends, who had a confused look on their faces, he excused himself, saying he felt sick and would be leaving. As he walked out of the room, he thought he could feel his friends' disappointment in him. Walking towards his room, the pain hit him full force. He gasped out in pain and fell to the floor, trying to grab the wall for support. He cried out in pain softly. Dragging himself to his room, he quickly locked the door and tried to throw up a silencing spell he learned in his early years. He didn’t care if it didn't work and crawled his way to his bathroom.
When he got there, he turned the water on and filled the tub almost to the rim. He lifted himself off the floor forcefully and stepped into the water carefully. After sitting in the water, he quickly took his gown off and threw it to the floor, uncaring. When he was fully submerged to his shoulders, he gripped the edge of the bath and pulled himself up to his feet in a squatting position. Catching his breath, he grunted in pain and almost wailed out at the feeling of his body shifting. As he began pushing, he sobbed out in pain; it felt like the inside of his body was tearing itself apart, and it was the worst pain he had ever felt. Continuing to push, he grabbed the edge of the tub in support and let himself slip down into a lying position, making sure to stay fully submerged. Once on his back, he let out a slight sigh of relief and started pushing again. After a few more pushes and cries, he felt the pop of the head leaving his body, almost crying in relief, he lay back and tried taking deep breaths to ground himself. Hyping himself up, he wiped the tears on his face and held onto the edge again. Once situated, he started pushing harder than before, screaming in pain. He pushed as hard as he could. Suddenly, he felt the baby slip out of him as he gasped loudly. Despite being in pain, he sat up and grabbed his baby softly, washing off the fluids. He then took a deep breath and lifted his baby from the water, almost crying at the sight. He reached behind him with one hand and drained enough water to be slightly less than halfway, then leaned back with his baby in his hands. He pulled the baby to his chest and began to cry softly, while whispering sweet nothings into his baby's ear. “It’s a girl”, he whispered to himself, smiling the whole time.