Chapter Text
After Jonas had been crying about the war game that him and Asher had always been playing as little kids, and Asher getting into an arguement, Jonas had been riding back to his dwelling, still recalling the memories that were flashing back to of that little thirsty boy, and the warfare he was in. He felt a twist in his stomach just thinking of it. As he got to his dwelling and entered, he went straight to his room, not bothering to talk to his family.
"Jonas, are you feeling alright?"
His mother called out to him, her voiced laced with empathy. Jonas sighed, and exited his room, walking back to his mother.
"I'm alright, mother. I just need time to study."
"Alright, Jonas."
Another lie. He thought, feeling guilty. This had been another lie, one of his first few, and he was now trying to get used to the fact he was allowed to lie. As he went to his room, feeling uneasy, he immediately went to lay on his bed. His eyes slowly closed, causing him to fall asleep.
"Hey, Jonas!"
Asher called out to him, and Jonas ran up to him, wondering what he wanted.
"What is it, Asher?"
"I just wanted to say...I apologize for the apathy yesterday."
"I accept your apology, Asher."
Asher awkwardly smiled, scratching the back of his head and looking all over. Jonas, confused at Asher's body language, tapped him on the shoulder. He knew it was considered rude to touch someone outside of your family unit, but Asher just seemed so nervous. And Jonas had no idea why. Asher flinched once tapped on the shoulder, his ears turning red and eyes wide.
"What was...was...that for?"
"You seem out of it, Asher. Why?"
"Well....Jonas, I've had these...these weird feelings lately, about...."
Asher paused, looking directly at Jonas, eyes still wide and looking anxious.
"About you."
"And what...kind of feelings, Asher?"
"Like...like...I want to feel your lips on mine."
Jonas gasped, covering his mouth with his hands. His face turned red, flustered. He felt the same way about Asher, but he knew it was wrong.
"Asher....I feel the same way...but this isn't right. This is the way a male is supposed to feel with a female, not another male. And besides, we are assigned spouses, we can't pick on our own.."
Asher took both of Jonas's hands, smiling bitterly.
"And why does that matter? We can keep it a secret, we can...like eachother in secret. No one needs to know."
Asher took Jonas's face and leaned in, til both of their lips were touching. The kiss felt unusual for them both, but they kept going until they were both gasping for air.
"Asher...Asher...that was...wonderful."
"I know.."
Before Jonas could say another word, Asher leaned in for another kiss, this one more passionate than the one before.
Then Jonas woke up. He stared at the ceiling, confused of what he just had dreamt of him and his friend Asher. Was it possible he had feelings for him? No. It couldn't be possible. He knew that family units consisted of one female and one male. It was always the way, one female and one male. No one had even thought of the same gender liking eachother. But when he thought about it, did the community ban same-sex couples? But, even if the same gender could like eachother, he knew he couldn't like Asher like that. He was bound to be assigned a spouse. His feelings were bound to be crushed. He finally woke up, and got ready for school.